Jokes.

[Óðinn]

Bored....so here's a few jokes. Enjoy

Three little ducks go into a Bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"* *
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?" *
"No," she said, batting her eyelashes..........."My name is Puddles."


I went to the pub after work today when a woman came over and said, "You're a bit of alright."
After ignoring her and moving to the other side of the bar she came over again and said, "How about you buy me a drink?"
"Listen, I've just finished work," I said. "I get enough of this there."
"But you've got a postman uniform on?"
"I know I have," I replied. "Which means I'm forever being chased by fucking dogs."


I woke early one morning,
the earth lay cool & still
when suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So care free & so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter & fun,
It seemed his very trilling
brought up the morning sun,
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his fucking head.

I'm not a morning person...lol

Paddy is ploughing his field with a steamroller. Shamus says "Paddy you dont plough a field with a steamroller you dozy bastard!" Paddy says "I'm growing mashed potatoes you thick cunt!

[Óðinn]

Bored....so here's a few jokes. Enjoy

Three little ducks go into a Bar.
"Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck.
"Huey," was the reply.
"How's your day been, Huey?"* *
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey.
"Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked.
"Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"
The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?" *
"No," she said, batting her eyelashes..........."My name is Puddles."


I went to the pub after work today when a woman came over and said, "You're a bit of alright."
After ignoring her and moving to the other side of the bar she came over again and said, "How about you buy me a drink?"
"Listen, I've just finished work," I said. "I get enough of this there."
"But you've got a postman uniform on?"
"I know I have," I replied. "Which means I'm forever being chased by fucking dogs."


I woke early one morning,
the earth lay cool & still
when suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So care free & so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter & fun,
It seemed his very trilling
brought up the morning sun,
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his fucking head.

I'm not a morning person...lol

Paddy is ploughing his field with a steamroller. Shamus says "Paddy you dont plough a field with a steamroller you dozy bastard!" Paddy says "I'm growing mashed potatoes you thick cunt!