Jokes. - Page 3 - Lets Beef

**ViTRiOL** · #1 08-26-2012, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiji Osa

Knock knock..

You're not allowed in. Fuck off.

**ViTRiOL** · 08-26-2012, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiji Osa

Knock knock..

You're not allowed in. Fuck off.

**Teek** · #2 08-23-2012, 10:43 PM

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."

------

Late one evening, the day after he had lost his wife scuba diving, two grim-faced policemen paid Mr. Rhodes a visit. "We're sorry to disturb you at this hour, Mr Rhodes, but we have some information concerning your wife. Actually, we have some bad news, some pretty good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Obviously fearing the worst, Mr Rhodes asked for the bad news first.

"We're sorry to inform you, sir," the policeman said, "we found your wife's body in the San Francisco Bay this morning."
Oh, my God!" said a distraught Mr. Rhodes. Remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"When we pulled her up," said the policeman, "she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen crabs on her."
"What?" a confused Mr Rhodes exclaimed. "So, what's the great news?"

As he smiled and smacked his lips, the officer replied, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
---------------------------
Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".

"Why is that?" said the other tramp.

"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."

The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."

"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

**Teek** · 08-23-2012, 10:43 PM

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."

------

Late one evening, the day after he had lost his wife scuba diving, two grim-faced policemen paid Mr. Rhodes a visit. "We're sorry to disturb you at this hour, Mr Rhodes, but we have some information concerning your wife. Actually, we have some bad news, some pretty good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Obviously fearing the worst, Mr Rhodes asked for the bad news first.

"We're sorry to inform you, sir," the policeman said, "we found your wife's body in the San Francisco Bay this morning."
Oh, my God!" said a distraught Mr. Rhodes. Remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"When we pulled her up," said the policeman, "she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen crabs on her."
"What?" a confused Mr Rhodes exclaimed. "So, what's the great news?"

As he smiled and smacked his lips, the officer replied, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
---------------------------
Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".

"Why is that?" said the other tramp.

"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."

The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."

"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

**Warren Peece** · #3 08-24-2012, 12:47 AM

Warren Peece fucked a girl. Then she woke up.

**Warren Peece** · 08-24-2012, 12:47 AM

Warren Peece fucked a girl. Then she woke up.

**Teek** · #4 08-24-2012, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warren_Peece

Warren Peece fucked a girl. Then she woke up.

Simple, elegant, effective. My vote for winner.

**Teek** · 08-24-2012, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warren_Peece

Warren Peece fucked a girl. Then she woke up.

Simple, elegant, effective. My vote for winner.

**AfterThought** · #5 08-24-2012, 04:35 AM

TalkSick's GC title

**AfterThought** · 08-24-2012, 04:35 AM

TalkSick's GC title

**Óðinn** · #6 08-24-2012, 10:19 AM

@Teek Lmfao hahaha.....first one had me rolling yO.

---------- Post added at 10:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:16 AM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by AfterThought

TalkSick's GC title

hahaha.... @TalkSick

---------- Post added at 10:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:16 AM ----------

@BLNK @Verity's wasn't actually thats forced & was rather humorous.

**Óðinn** · 08-24-2012, 10:19 AM

@Teek Lmfao hahaha.....first one had me rolling yO.

---------- Post added at 10:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:16 AM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by AfterThought

TalkSick's GC title

hahaha.... @TalkSick

---------- Post added at 10:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:16 AM ----------

@BLNK @Verity's wasn't actually thats forced & was rather humorous.

**Teek** · #7 08-28-2012, 09:34 PM

Ok..from my daughter, who heard these at school:

"Little Jenny ran into the kitchen from the out side calling for her mom, "Mom, mom..I caught the barn on fire!"

"How could you do such a thing, Jenny? You just wait until your father gets home and punishes you!"

Jenny laughed to herself, her dad was in the barn."

--

Jenny was making out with her botfriend. Suddenly, he slides his hand inside her bra...

Jenny laughed to herself, her money was in her sock.

**Teek** · 08-28-2012, 09:34 PM

Ok..from my daughter, who heard these at school:

"Little Jenny ran into the kitchen from the out side calling for her mom, "Mom, mom..I caught the barn on fire!"

"How could you do such a thing, Jenny? You just wait until your father gets home and punishes you!"

Jenny laughed to herself, her dad was in the barn."

--

Jenny was making out with her botfriend. Suddenly, he slides his hand inside her bra...

Jenny laughed to herself, her money was in her sock.

**Óðinn** · #8 08-29-2012, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teek

Ok..from my daughter, who heard these at school:

"Little Jenny ran into the kitchen from the out side calling for her mom, "Mom, mom..I caught the barn on fire!"

"How could you do such a thing, Jenny? You just wait until your father gets home and punishes you!"

Jenny laughed to herself, her dad was in the barn."

--

Jenny was making out with her botfriend. Suddenly, he slides his hand inside her bra...

Jenny laughed to herself, her money was in her sock.

hahaha looool

**Óðinn** · 08-29-2012, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teek

Ok..from my daughter, who heard these at school:

"Little Jenny ran into the kitchen from the out side calling for her mom, "Mom, mom..I caught the barn on fire!"

"How could you do such a thing, Jenny? You just wait until your father gets home and punishes you!"

Jenny laughed to herself, her dad was in the barn."

--

Jenny was making out with her botfriend. Suddenly, he slides his hand inside her bra...

Jenny laughed to herself, her money was in her sock.

hahaha looool