Dr. Killz

[Krhyme Killz]

Originally Posted by RULE

Its 2012 but ya punches LAME & AVE'RAGE STILL?? the only difference is now you say you AIM A GAT AND PEEL so since this "Small Fry Gotta Toy Now" i guess he beCAME A HAPPY MEAL!! cmonn dont SAY YOU CLAPPIN STEEL cuz he AINT AS HALF AS REAL as he CLAIMIN & FORREAL i wouldnt be in a "Box Off His Hit" w/ the GREATEST ACTING SKILL!! (Box Office Hit)

that shit huff yo...

lol...

obviously a solid and well put together concept..only thing maybe is to emphasize that you are REITERATING that he aint clappin nothing. if the reader doesnt get that...it may seem like you are just saying it twice....although i get that you are emphasizing shit...maybe like, "..HAPPY MEAL!!...once again dont SAY YOU.."

small shit i know lol...but it could help

[Krhyme Killz]

Originally Posted by RULE

Its 2012 but ya punches LAME & AVE'RAGE STILL?? the only difference is now you say you AIM A GAT AND PEEL so since this "Small Fry Gotta Toy Now" i guess he beCAME A HAPPY MEAL!! cmonn dont SAY YOU CLAPPIN STEEL cuz he AINT AS HALF AS REAL as he CLAIMIN & FORREAL i wouldnt be in a "Box Off His Hit" w/ the GREATEST ACTING SKILL!! (Box Office Hit)

that shit huff yo...

lol...

obviously a solid and well put together concept..only thing maybe is to emphasize that you are REITERATING that he aint clappin nothing. if the reader doesnt get that...it may seem like you are just saying it twice....although i get that you are emphasizing shit...maybe like, "..HAPPY MEAL!!...once again dont SAY YOU.."

small shit i know lol...but it could help

[Revan]

Originally Posted by Itz Killz

that shit huff yo...

lol...

obviously a solid and well put together concept..only thing maybe is to emphasize that you are REITERATING that he aint clappin nothing. if the reader doesnt get that...it may seem like you are just saying it twice....although i get that you are emphasizing shit...maybe like, "..HAPPY MEAL!!...once again dont SAY YOU.."

small shit i know lol...but it could help

Nah thanks for real its easy to forget lil bits of wording that polishes it off.

[Revan]

Originally Posted by Itz Killz

that shit huff yo...

lol...

obviously a solid and well put together concept..only thing maybe is to emphasize that you are REITERATING that he aint clappin nothing. if the reader doesnt get that...it may seem like you are just saying it twice....although i get that you are emphasizing shit...maybe like, "..HAPPY MEAL!!...once again dont SAY YOU.."

small shit i know lol...but it could help

Nah thanks for real its easy to forget lil bits of wording that polishes it off.