Just C's Super Realistic Voting Thread (not for the easily offended) post links.

[ViTRiOL]

Originally Posted by Jason

lol u cryin

A little.

It is impossible for Just C not to criticise. Dude was funny as fuck during the All Star Text tourney: Multi-selling novelist.

[ViTRiOL]

Originally Posted by Jason

lol u cryin

A little.

It is impossible for Just C not to criticise. Dude was funny as fuck during the All Star Text tourney: Multi-selling novelist.

[RhetoriK]

http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/showthread.php?t=112607

@Just C and @Jason holla. Any of the three battles listed are welcomed for feedback tbh...raspect

[RhetoriK]

http://www.letsbeef.com/forums/showthread.php?t=112607

@Just C and @Jason holla. Any of the three battles listed are welcomed for feedback tbh...raspect

[Just C]

@TalkSick Vs @Verity

TalkSick:

"Adjust them titties! Maybe BOOSTER ya BOOBS cause when i wanna MOVE THROUGH tha POON and put this "chick in the COUPE? (chicken coupe) Il need ya legs up, SHOES ON the ROOF to leave ya "head bobbin" like a ROOSTER'LL DO!

Lol This bar was cool. Only issue is you should of wrote it ALL like you was talking to "the crowd"

You went from talking to me "put THIS chick in the coupe" to talking to her "I'll need YA legs up, shoes on the roof" it would work perfectly fine live but the transition in text didn't translate well for me, shoulda kept it addressing me rather than her, Bars wasn't crazy but it was aight, made me smile, I'll give you that 1.

"Go see if the next "Cock'll due" when i toss ya out the sun roof and quickly SHOOT YOU tha DEUCE! (See ya!)/

Got the concept it was a little sloppy though. It's just a gramma thing for me for the cock'll do and the use of the word IF before it. I would of said "see WHAT the next cock'l do blah blah and shoot you the deuce"

"So SLOW DOWN, SHEESH! Youll get "Licked, pussy" like ya CLIT TWEAKS AND SQUIRTS! Cause Talk will NEVER return that favor and give "V' Neck" So that means no VIN DIESEL SHIRTS!/ DPSet Jesters!!! ahha"

I think you took far too long reaching the punch for a start and "give v kneck" for it's first meaning/vin diesel shirts reads very cave banish to me. I the idea but I think it could have been executed better.

Overall 6:

Verity:

"Y’all MUST OF KNOWN THIS he’s an infested faggot and ONLY ‘TalkSick’ cuz he‘BUST’ HIS OWN ‘LIP’ when he ejaculated his aids when he SUCKED HIS OWN DICK!!!"

Lol this was straight. I liked it. Relevant. The WP worked both ways it moved and flowed at a nice pace. It hit. Only issue is I wouldn't have said HIS aids because it becomes obvious it's his when the punch hit's. I woulda just said "ejaculated Aids" it didn't really fuck it up but I did notice a wording issue you could fix.



"You got jokes? Don’t LIE POPPIT! Your mom keeps condoms in her SIDE POCKET with THREE LUBES PRESENT, an ALL THAT! Just incase she wake up with fuels PRE-PUBESCENT BALLSACK resting on her EYE SOCKETS!(again)"

Lmao triple shots fired. I really liked this line. There was no real punch in the conventional text sense. But it definitely hit and did it's job. Again only issue "THREE lube's present" because it rhymes with "PRE pubescent". . . Don't say words just because they rhyme with w.e else you're saying. Make it relivent. THREE screeeeeeam'd FILLER! To me.

"I got some news to SHOW THIS BRODY, you’re adopted and everything you KNOW IS PHONEY.. your observation skills really are HOPELESS, HOMIE! b/c you white! But you mama so black she got raped by JOSPEH KONY!"

Naaaaah this was a major miss for me. Don't do momma jokes. I mean it all connects but I really wasn't feeling it. It felt weak and half assed

Overall 7:

Winner Verity:

...............

---------- Post added at 05:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:28 PM ----------

Link doesn't work @Prose_

[Just C]

@TalkSick Vs @Verity

TalkSick:

"Adjust them titties! Maybe BOOSTER ya BOOBS cause when i wanna MOVE THROUGH tha POON and put this "chick in the COUPE? (chicken coupe) Il need ya legs up, SHOES ON the ROOF to leave ya "head bobbin" like a ROOSTER'LL DO!

Lol This bar was cool. Only issue is you should of wrote it ALL like you was talking to "the crowd"

You went from talking to me "put THIS chick in the coupe" to talking to her "I'll need YA legs up, shoes on the roof" it would work perfectly fine live but the transition in text didn't translate well for me, shoulda kept it addressing me rather than her, Bars wasn't crazy but it was aight, made me smile, I'll give you that 1.

"Go see if the next "Cock'll due" when i toss ya out the sun roof and quickly SHOOT YOU tha DEUCE! (See ya!)/

Got the concept it was a little sloppy though. It's just a gramma thing for me for the cock'll do and the use of the word IF before it. I would of said "see WHAT the next cock'l do blah blah and shoot you the deuce"

"So SLOW DOWN, SHEESH! Youll get "Licked, pussy" like ya CLIT TWEAKS AND SQUIRTS! Cause Talk will NEVER return that favor and give "V' Neck" So that means no VIN DIESEL SHIRTS!/ DPSet Jesters!!! ahha"

I think you took far too long reaching the punch for a start and "give v kneck" for it's first meaning/vin diesel shirts reads very cave banish to me. I the idea but I think it could have been executed better.

Overall 6:

Verity:

"Y’all MUST OF KNOWN THIS he’s an infested faggot and ONLY ‘TalkSick’ cuz he‘BUST’ HIS OWN ‘LIP’ when he ejaculated his aids when he SUCKED HIS OWN DICK!!!"

Lol this was straight. I liked it. Relevant. The WP worked both ways it moved and flowed at a nice pace. It hit. Only issue is I wouldn't have said HIS aids because it becomes obvious it's his when the punch hit's. I woulda just said "ejaculated Aids" it didn't really fuck it up but I did notice a wording issue you could fix.



"You got jokes? Don’t LIE POPPIT! Your mom keeps condoms in her SIDE POCKET with THREE LUBES PRESENT, an ALL THAT! Just incase she wake up with fuels PRE-PUBESCENT BALLSACK resting on her EYE SOCKETS!(again)"

Lmao triple shots fired. I really liked this line. There was no real punch in the conventional text sense. But it definitely hit and did it's job. Again only issue "THREE lube's present" because it rhymes with "PRE pubescent". . . Don't say words just because they rhyme with w.e else you're saying. Make it relivent. THREE screeeeeeam'd FILLER! To me.

"I got some news to SHOW THIS BRODY, you’re adopted and everything you KNOW IS PHONEY.. your observation skills really are HOPELESS, HOMIE! b/c you white! But you mama so black she got raped by JOSPEH KONY!"

Naaaaah this was a major miss for me. Don't do momma jokes. I mean it all connects but I really wasn't feeling it. It felt weak and half assed

Overall 7:

Winner Verity:

...............

---------- Post added at 05:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:28 PM ----------

Link doesn't work @Prose_

[Prose_]

@Just C it's the crew tourney wit me and remark.

---------- Post added at 05:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:54 PM ----------

http://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_b...909&section=tb

[Prose_]

@Just C it's the crew tourney wit me and remark.

---------- Post added at 05:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:54 PM ----------

http://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_b...909&section=tb

[TalkSick]

Originally Posted by Just C

...............

---------- Post added at 05:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:28 PM ----------

Link doesn't work @Prose_

It wasnt really ment to be a serious battle, me and V were just havin some fun last night lol (take that how u want too lol) but appreciate the feed. Thanks amigo.

[TalkSick]

Originally Posted by Just C

...............

---------- Post added at 05:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:28 PM ----------

Link doesn't work @Prose_

It wasnt really ment to be a serious battle, me and V were just havin some fun last night lol (take that how u want too lol) but appreciate the feed. Thanks amigo.

[Just C]

Originally Posted by _AxIoM

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432050
vs macc

@~MaCc-iLL Jordan~ Vs. @_AxIoM


~MaCc-iLL Jordan~

"They Like 'Ax Be Careful! MaCcs A 'BEAST IN ITS PRIME!' I'll 'Put A CREASE IN HIS SPINE' when Im 'RELEASIN DA NINE!' UpperCuts To His Jaw'll 'PUSH HIS TEETH IN HIS MIND!' & Its 'GOTTA BE A CRIME' for 'A Geek to Be SO WEAK AND BENIGN!!'"

Alot of irrelevant multis. Took too long to get to the "PUNCH"
If you can really call It that.


Ax is 'A DE-CIEVER' who's 'Never! CLUTCHED A LEVER!' But Will Beg!- For a 'FRUITY DUTCH FULL OF REEFER' but When i Catch Em Drowsy, You Know 'RESTIN HIS PEEPERS' Ima Put 'The Bang To the Side Of his Face' JUSTIN BEIBER!?"

Don't get it. Not interested in anything beiber related. And stop using quotations when they are not for highlighting a concept.

"He Wouldn't 'Flow Hot' Drenched in Sweat & 'ENGULFED IN FEVERS!' You Know MaCc 'Be In the Hood' Like the Faces 'OF THEM CULTS AND LEADERS!'"

Flow hot/fevers = Super played
Same as in the hood lines nvm the closer was vague as fuck lol naaaaaah.

"The Kind that'll 'Kidnap You Daughter' And Wait Until 'She's An ADULT AN BEATER!!'"

And the scheme continued just to end on this? Naaaaah sorry. Again you had an idea but forced the fuck out of it with vague indications.

"They Got Me 'Up Against a SCRUB!' Damn 'WHERES MY BRILLO AT?' a Couple 'SHOTS AT HIS SILLHOUETE' Will Turn 'Ax Inside Out LIKE A PILLOW PET!'

The fuck is a pillow pet? I'm a grown man w/no kids. Totally lost on me. I assume you turn them inside out? If Sonora kinda weak as a concept.

You Da Bitch! So How Would That Look If You 'ACTUALLY KILLED THE VET?' Psssh 'HERE'S A BET' If You Can 'SURVIVE THIS THRASHIN' and 'PROVIDE LINES THAT MATCH IT' I Might Not Make 'Yo Fame Go Poof WHEN I PROVIDE THE MAGIC!' That'll Have This 'GYRO FAGGET' Blasted 'Up In The Tree!' R.I.Pieces 'IN A PINECONE CASKET!!!'"

WtfNO!?

"Boy Stop 'Lyin Bout Reefer Cheefin!' You Aint 'NEVER SMOKED A BUNDLE WRAP!' the Last Time 'Ax Hit a Tree' He Was 'WORKING WIT A LUMBERJACC!'"

This was your best line by a hundred million miles. You write like you did that last line and you'll be a much improved writer with plenty more room for improvement.

Overall 5:


_AxIoM:

"your shit STINKS? watch me AIR IT OUT like DUCK SYSTEMS, you a king? ahaha it ain't your fault, that. thay STARE N DOUBT believe but, you a bitch so TOUGHEN UP. have DUST DRIFTED, to see yer loss like DULL CRYSTALS, "You feel that sting, big boy, huh? That's pride FUCKIN' with you?".....PULP FICTION!"

Your weird structure is throwing me. I'm assume this is where the punch line is? I get the punch and PF reference and it's a decent little hit if a little old and held up by line after line of endless filler/semi hitting punches? O.0?

"gay ass nigga, how you TOUCH PRISON, n exclaim, plus say, you FUCK WOMEN? that's ONE RIDDLE< from a PUNK NIGGA, grab the GUN/PISTOL. what it do? im busting guns. (no he fucking DIDN'T), to hit yer tummy? now it FUCKING TICKLES! fucking punk bitch? wonder why we never TRUNK'D HIM? he cool ONE MINUTE, then turns into a MRS n get hated on bout WHTS WRITTEN,

WHAT?

It's all over the place! Very vague and sporadic and the end result wasn't worth the wait. You need to think about your punches before you type them. Not type then see where it takes you and hope for the best.

so ill fuck this bitch? bill clinton, me? im 1 in a MILLION, that's JUST RISEN, n have money on yer head, PLUS INTEREST! no love given. but JUST LISTEN. ill fuck your 16 like HOT CHILDREN!

I get the concept but it's a very old angle and the use of the word children doesn't sit well with me for some reason. And I dint just mean the vagueness of it. Your multi's are really broken too. Make sure your lateens match, no round pegs in square holes.

im NOT KIDDIN, fuck your flow, i RAP'D IT/RAPID like STRONG RIVERS, you'll never run a KINGDOM, surrounded by flow like BRITAIN, get knocked out, CHUCK LIDDELL, ufc? my PUNCHES THICKEN! to shit on this nigga, no PARTICULAR SUBSYSTEM, hotness, melts em, like CHOCOLATE BARS IN A HOT KITCHEN, so if you picture a win, its SUCH VIVID, ENORMOUS ODDS, ahaha FUCK THIS NIGGA. Ghad Go Hard All Day Tweet 0

What did "SUCH VIVID, ENORMOUS" rhyme with?

Overall 3:

Not a good battle. Both need major work, 1 MAJOR work.

Winner/~MaCc-iLL Jordan~

................

---------- Post added at 06:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:54 PM ----------

Originally Posted by TalkSick

It wasnt really ment to be a serious battle, me and V were just havin some fun last night lol (take that how u want too lol) but appreciate the feed. Thanks amigo.

Nah I got it. It was JOB.

It's just V made me laugh a little harder while having a cleaner verse. You still need to be on point w/your shit. She was just more on point on the day. And no matter joke or not. You should still and want too word your bars properly. That's part of the fun in writing.

[Just C]

Originally Posted by _AxIoM

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432050
vs macc

@~MaCc-iLL Jordan~ Vs. @_AxIoM


~MaCc-iLL Jordan~

"They Like 'Ax Be Careful! MaCcs A 'BEAST IN ITS PRIME!' I'll 'Put A CREASE IN HIS SPINE' when Im 'RELEASIN DA NINE!' UpperCuts To His Jaw'll 'PUSH HIS TEETH IN HIS MIND!' & Its 'GOTTA BE A CRIME' for 'A Geek to Be SO WEAK AND BENIGN!!'"

Alot of irrelevant multis. Took too long to get to the "PUNCH"
If you can really call It that.


Ax is 'A DE-CIEVER' who's 'Never! CLUTCHED A LEVER!' But Will Beg!- For a 'FRUITY DUTCH FULL OF REEFER' but When i Catch Em Drowsy, You Know 'RESTIN HIS PEEPERS' Ima Put 'The Bang To the Side Of his Face' JUSTIN BEIBER!?"

Don't get it. Not interested in anything beiber related. And stop using quotations when they are not for highlighting a concept.

"He Wouldn't 'Flow Hot' Drenched in Sweat & 'ENGULFED IN FEVERS!' You Know MaCc 'Be In the Hood' Like the Faces 'OF THEM CULTS AND LEADERS!'"

Flow hot/fevers = Super played
Same as in the hood lines nvm the closer was vague as fuck lol naaaaaah.

"The Kind that'll 'Kidnap You Daughter' And Wait Until 'She's An ADULT AN BEATER!!'"

And the scheme continued just to end on this? Naaaaah sorry. Again you had an idea but forced the fuck out of it with vague indications.

"They Got Me 'Up Against a SCRUB!' Damn 'WHERES MY BRILLO AT?' a Couple 'SHOTS AT HIS SILLHOUETE' Will Turn 'Ax Inside Out LIKE A PILLOW PET!'

The fuck is a pillow pet? I'm a grown man w/no kids. Totally lost on me. I assume you turn them inside out? If Sonora kinda weak as a concept.

You Da Bitch! So How Would That Look If You 'ACTUALLY KILLED THE VET?' Psssh 'HERE'S A BET' If You Can 'SURVIVE THIS THRASHIN' and 'PROVIDE LINES THAT MATCH IT' I Might Not Make 'Yo Fame Go Poof WHEN I PROVIDE THE MAGIC!' That'll Have This 'GYRO FAGGET' Blasted 'Up In The Tree!' R.I.Pieces 'IN A PINECONE CASKET!!!'"

WtfNO!?

"Boy Stop 'Lyin Bout Reefer Cheefin!' You Aint 'NEVER SMOKED A BUNDLE WRAP!' the Last Time 'Ax Hit a Tree' He Was 'WORKING WIT A LUMBERJACC!'"

This was your best line by a hundred million miles. You write like you did that last line and you'll be a much improved writer with plenty more room for improvement.

Overall 5:


_AxIoM:

"your shit STINKS? watch me AIR IT OUT like DUCK SYSTEMS, you a king? ahaha it ain't your fault, that. thay STARE N DOUBT believe but, you a bitch so TOUGHEN UP. have DUST DRIFTED, to see yer loss like DULL CRYSTALS, "You feel that sting, big boy, huh? That's pride FUCKIN' with you?".....PULP FICTION!"

Your weird structure is throwing me. I'm assume this is where the punch line is? I get the punch and PF reference and it's a decent little hit if a little old and held up by line after line of endless filler/semi hitting punches? O.0?

"gay ass nigga, how you TOUCH PRISON, n exclaim, plus say, you FUCK WOMEN? that's ONE RIDDLE< from a PUNK NIGGA, grab the GUN/PISTOL. what it do? im busting guns. (no he fucking DIDN'T), to hit yer tummy? now it FUCKING TICKLES! fucking punk bitch? wonder why we never TRUNK'D HIM? he cool ONE MINUTE, then turns into a MRS n get hated on bout WHTS WRITTEN,

WHAT?

It's all over the place! Very vague and sporadic and the end result wasn't worth the wait. You need to think about your punches before you type them. Not type then see where it takes you and hope for the best.

so ill fuck this bitch? bill clinton, me? im 1 in a MILLION, that's JUST RISEN, n have money on yer head, PLUS INTEREST! no love given. but JUST LISTEN. ill fuck your 16 like HOT CHILDREN!

I get the concept but it's a very old angle and the use of the word children doesn't sit well with me for some reason. And I dint just mean the vagueness of it. Your multi's are really broken too. Make sure your lateens match, no round pegs in square holes.

im NOT KIDDIN, fuck your flow, i RAP'D IT/RAPID like STRONG RIVERS, you'll never run a KINGDOM, surrounded by flow like BRITAIN, get knocked out, CHUCK LIDDELL, ufc? my PUNCHES THICKEN! to shit on this nigga, no PARTICULAR SUBSYSTEM, hotness, melts em, like CHOCOLATE BARS IN A HOT KITCHEN, so if you picture a win, its SUCH VIVID, ENORMOUS ODDS, ahaha FUCK THIS NIGGA. Ghad Go Hard All Day Tweet 0

What did "SUCH VIVID, ENORMOUS" rhyme with?

Overall 3:

Not a good battle. Both need major work, 1 MAJOR work.

Winner/~MaCc-iLL Jordan~

................

---------- Post added at 06:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:54 PM ----------

Originally Posted by TalkSick

It wasnt really ment to be a serious battle, me and V were just havin some fun last night lol (take that how u want too lol) but appreciate the feed. Thanks amigo.

Nah I got it. It was JOB.

It's just V made me laugh a little harder while having a cleaner verse. You still need to be on point w/your shit. She was just more on point on the day. And no matter joke or not. You should still and want too word your bars properly. That's part of the fun in writing.

[Prose_]

http://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_b...909&section=tb

[Prose_]

http://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_b...909&section=tb

[Just C]

Aight Prose is next.

Then the rest of Rhet's requests.

---------- Post added at 08:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:21 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Prose_

http://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_b...909&section=tb

@remarK Vs. @Prose_


remarK:

"Prose??? can't say that I KNOW HIM but most of his LINES BROKEN so as for the win? he gotta be "pulling strings" once these "BLINDS OPEN"...

win/window + pulling strings/blinds/blind battle. It all ties in neatly for me with 1 exception. The use of the word "Once" there's a conflicting tense. Once implies the blinds have already been opened so why would he be pulling the strings? To close them again? But nowhere in that bar is there any suggestion of that so I think I'm right in saying what I said about
the tense. I'm not just nit picking here either, that genuinely jumped out at me. But other than that everything else is on point beside the somewhat played wordplay of pulling strings and blinds. No h8 I'm just calling it how I see it.


"your bars are just FORCED, LISTEN I'm smooooth swangin' to leave this "BOOB HANGIN" you can see his SUPPORTS MISSIN'... now he's toast-ya'll this couldn't be a "CLOSE CALL" if he rang me from SHORT DISTANCE!"

Very played man lol you know what I mean. Close call/short distance is not fresh in the slightest. I think you'll even agree with me on that 1 given how long you've been doing this for. It was too dated to land a decent hit for me, sorry.

"I don't think this BUM'S WORTH HIS RHYMES saying his GUN BURSTS IS LIES! cuz that aint Somethin'-You-Would only way you "COME FROM THE HOOD" is cuz you're UNCIRCUMSIZED!"

This was a bit better only for the fact it all linked unlike the last line which was more of a 1 liner. It all fit in neatly but the uncircumcised/come from the hood play is not hitting

"beating me aint likely, it's IMPOSSIBLE CLOWN... once this round-closes the crowd- knows-it's just another OBSTACLE DOWN for the one who's bound to MODEL THE CROWN...... time to take the trash out and leave 'em "ASSED OUT" like a "HOSPITAL GOWN"

I've see/heard the hospital gown a few times. Don't ask me where because it was a long time ago. That shit's older than god's dog tbh. Plus everything before it was just filler. Which ended in a dated 1 liner.

"Prose is SIMPLY A LIAR wit bars that are SHITTY n' TIRED you must be DREAMIN TO WIN DAWG cuz he always "SEAMS TO BE RIPPED ON" like a HIPPIES ATTIRE..."

WP only worked 1 way and again like the Assed out/hospital gown the hippy line is dated and generic. And what's with all the filler?

"it SOUNDS LIKE HE'S STUMPED try n' take this ROUND IF YOU WANT but once I'm "Trash-in his subconscious" he'll be "DOWN IN THE DUMPS"

This was better, still an old angle to take plus it's too cliche. Trash/dumps shit like that been said so much there really is NO possible way to flip it to make it sound fresh and relative. Try referencing current events. That's the best way to stay relevant without using personals.

"let's be real for a minute..... this aint no CASHIS BOUT FOR THE WORLD but when I say this Guy-Fakes-Stuff it aint somethin' that "EYE MAKEUP" when he "LASHES OUT" LIKE A GIRL."

I/eye make up lashes eyes/lashes rage. Simple enough bit it doesn't work both ways due to the wording of the bar.

"shit is bout to get hostile like I'm bringin' the COLD WAR BACK it's more than being TOLD YOU'RE WACK... nobody CARES NOW TO HELP 'EM cuz you "WEAR OUT YOUR WELCOME" like an OLD DOOR MAT."

Again it's cliche'd. the referencing of OBJECTS is a common theme. CURRENT events or PERSONALS. It's all bland. It's About more than just fitting in a wordplay. The subject matter plays a big part too.

"when it comes to a tourney like this we know that EACH STAGE IS KEY... so to be on this level you're a DEEP WAYS TO BE cuz your Flows Wack N You're Boring Dawg... so I'll send "Prose/Pro's Back to The Drawing Board" like "FREE AGENCY!....."

You didn't need to explain the pro's nameplay in the bar, atleast not to me. Again it was a 1 liner with irrelevant filler before it.

Overall: 6. Too much filler and cliched, dated subject matter which I couldn't get past.

Prose_:

"(Remark's Wifey?) shit... if i felt like it i'd BOUNCE N' BREAK HER BACK-IN!!! POUND HER BRAINS OUT, SMASH IT and fuck ya "Gal Up Till Nightfalls" like JOUSTING'S WAGED IN MATCHES!!! (Gallop Till Knight Falls)"

WP
Was ight. Bar coulda been tighter though. Needed some proof reading. Work on your wording.

"give him punches that'll lift up this shmuck when i send uppercuts to the MOUTH N' BANG IT RAPID!!! leave ya whole jaw "Raised Up Toothless" like HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON!!! (im teachin this little gay wad so its more like HOW TO TRAIN A FAGGOT)"

Lol not bad, I get the reference. Nothing crazy but it was straight and fairly current.

"you'd win if ya put more symbols in ya sent drop...ACTUALLY, NAH!! (WAIT) even if he switched structure style id still be SWAGGIN ON GUY'S GAME despite his verse "Dressed Up Different In The Weak Send" like CASUAL FRIDAYS!!! (week's end)"

lol Nice job sticking to the theme, all relevant no filler WP works.

"the fact you cant keep up wit my HARD EFFECTIVE WRITTENS aint a "Shock When It Comes Down To The Wire" like BARBED ELECTRIC FENCES!!!"

Meh. Wasn't feeling it and I woulda left "HARD" and "BARBED" out of the bars. Seemed like you just wanted to up your multi count.

"ya punchlines?... when ya MAKE EM no one underSTANDS WHAT YA RAPPIN!! does anyone ever get ya bars? NOPE!! THEY VAGUE AS SHIT!! ya couldnt make "ExPO'S TO SAVE YOUR SKIN" wit RadiATION for CANCEROUS RASHES!!! (Expose to Save Your Skin)"

Nah Too cliche. Miss.

"you da king?.. have you flyin in the air till you "Lift Off From The Throne" like YEEZY, BEY, AND HOV!! go to Brooklyn and shoot ya till blood SMEAR DA STREET N' GO!! have "Marcy's Walls Colored In Red" like Wayne's MIRROR VIDEO!! (Mars Sees..Expo)"

Current but wasn't worded correctly. "HAVE" and "Mars SEE(S) Walls" don't go together. It's just broken.' it wasn't clean enough to hit for me.

"Niggas in a certain part of my town will bang ya and leave ya BODY IN A HUMMER if ya cross a bad street or get LOST YA LITTLE FUCKER!! so stay in the suburbs white kid or "End Up On The Wrong Side Of The Tracks" like inCOMPETENT CONDUCTORS!!!!!"

Lol, no wrong side of the tracks and incompotent
Conductors is just cheesy and too vague a reference to really hit for me

Overall 6:

I couldn't get past Re's use of old plays. I wouldn't mind but they weren't flipped well enough for me to get over it. Shot was relentless. I know re can handle himself in audio and has a rep in text so maybe the long lay off got him rusty and a little behind on the times. No offence.
Prose wasn't great but atleast it was more relevant/fresher. Plus had less filler, cutting down on the 1 liners. Just needs to be more consistent.

Winner/Prose

..........

---------- Post added at 09:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:46 PM ----------

I'm wrong on the tense for once these blinds open. That's my bad. I done gazillion word break downs. shit's bound to happen. The rest still stands though. and the vote still stands. There's no getting past the dated plays.

[Just C]

Aight Prose is next.

Then the rest of Rhet's requests.

---------- Post added at 08:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:21 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Prose_

http://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_b...909&section=tb

@remarK Vs. @Prose_


remarK:

"Prose??? can't say that I KNOW HIM but most of his LINES BROKEN so as for the win? he gotta be "pulling strings" once these "BLINDS OPEN"...

win/window + pulling strings/blinds/blind battle. It all ties in neatly for me with 1 exception. The use of the word "Once" there's a conflicting tense. Once implies the blinds have already been opened so why would he be pulling the strings? To close them again? But nowhere in that bar is there any suggestion of that so I think I'm right in saying what I said about
the tense. I'm not just nit picking here either, that genuinely jumped out at me. But other than that everything else is on point beside the somewhat played wordplay of pulling strings and blinds. No h8 I'm just calling it how I see it.


"your bars are just FORCED, LISTEN I'm smooooth swangin' to leave this "BOOB HANGIN" you can see his SUPPORTS MISSIN'... now he's toast-ya'll this couldn't be a "CLOSE CALL" if he rang me from SHORT DISTANCE!"

Very played man lol you know what I mean. Close call/short distance is not fresh in the slightest. I think you'll even agree with me on that 1 given how long you've been doing this for. It was too dated to land a decent hit for me, sorry.

"I don't think this BUM'S WORTH HIS RHYMES saying his GUN BURSTS IS LIES! cuz that aint Somethin'-You-Would only way you "COME FROM THE HOOD" is cuz you're UNCIRCUMSIZED!"

This was a bit better only for the fact it all linked unlike the last line which was more of a 1 liner. It all fit in neatly but the uncircumcised/come from the hood play is not hitting

"beating me aint likely, it's IMPOSSIBLE CLOWN... once this round-closes the crowd- knows-it's just another OBSTACLE DOWN for the one who's bound to MODEL THE CROWN...... time to take the trash out and leave 'em "ASSED OUT" like a "HOSPITAL GOWN"

I've see/heard the hospital gown a few times. Don't ask me where because it was a long time ago. That shit's older than god's dog tbh. Plus everything before it was just filler. Which ended in a dated 1 liner.

"Prose is SIMPLY A LIAR wit bars that are SHITTY n' TIRED you must be DREAMIN TO WIN DAWG cuz he always "SEAMS TO BE RIPPED ON" like a HIPPIES ATTIRE..."

WP only worked 1 way and again like the Assed out/hospital gown the hippy line is dated and generic. And what's with all the filler?

"it SOUNDS LIKE HE'S STUMPED try n' take this ROUND IF YOU WANT but once I'm "Trash-in his subconscious" he'll be "DOWN IN THE DUMPS"

This was better, still an old angle to take plus it's too cliche. Trash/dumps shit like that been said so much there really is NO possible way to flip it to make it sound fresh and relative. Try referencing current events. That's the best way to stay relevant without using personals.

"let's be real for a minute..... this aint no CASHIS BOUT FOR THE WORLD but when I say this Guy-Fakes-Stuff it aint somethin' that "EYE MAKEUP" when he "LASHES OUT" LIKE A GIRL."

I/eye make up lashes eyes/lashes rage. Simple enough bit it doesn't work both ways due to the wording of the bar.

"shit is bout to get hostile like I'm bringin' the COLD WAR BACK it's more than being TOLD YOU'RE WACK... nobody CARES NOW TO HELP 'EM cuz you "WEAR OUT YOUR WELCOME" like an OLD DOOR MAT."

Again it's cliche'd. the referencing of OBJECTS is a common theme. CURRENT events or PERSONALS. It's all bland. It's About more than just fitting in a wordplay. The subject matter plays a big part too.

"when it comes to a tourney like this we know that EACH STAGE IS KEY... so to be on this level you're a DEEP WAYS TO BE cuz your Flows Wack N You're Boring Dawg... so I'll send "Prose/Pro's Back to The Drawing Board" like "FREE AGENCY!....."

You didn't need to explain the pro's nameplay in the bar, atleast not to me. Again it was a 1 liner with irrelevant filler before it.

Overall: 6. Too much filler and cliched, dated subject matter which I couldn't get past.

Prose_:

"(Remark's Wifey?) shit... if i felt like it i'd BOUNCE N' BREAK HER BACK-IN!!! POUND HER BRAINS OUT, SMASH IT and fuck ya "Gal Up Till Nightfalls" like JOUSTING'S WAGED IN MATCHES!!! (Gallop Till Knight Falls)"

WP
Was ight. Bar coulda been tighter though. Needed some proof reading. Work on your wording.

"give him punches that'll lift up this shmuck when i send uppercuts to the MOUTH N' BANG IT RAPID!!! leave ya whole jaw "Raised Up Toothless" like HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON!!! (im teachin this little gay wad so its more like HOW TO TRAIN A FAGGOT)"

Lol not bad, I get the reference. Nothing crazy but it was straight and fairly current.

"you'd win if ya put more symbols in ya sent drop...ACTUALLY, NAH!! (WAIT) even if he switched structure style id still be SWAGGIN ON GUY'S GAME despite his verse "Dressed Up Different In The Weak Send" like CASUAL FRIDAYS!!! (week's end)"

lol Nice job sticking to the theme, all relevant no filler WP works.

"the fact you cant keep up wit my HARD EFFECTIVE WRITTENS aint a "Shock When It Comes Down To The Wire" like BARBED ELECTRIC FENCES!!!"

Meh. Wasn't feeling it and I woulda left "HARD" and "BARBED" out of the bars. Seemed like you just wanted to up your multi count.

"ya punchlines?... when ya MAKE EM no one underSTANDS WHAT YA RAPPIN!! does anyone ever get ya bars? NOPE!! THEY VAGUE AS SHIT!! ya couldnt make "ExPO'S TO SAVE YOUR SKIN" wit RadiATION for CANCEROUS RASHES!!! (Expose to Save Your Skin)"

Nah Too cliche. Miss.

"you da king?.. have you flyin in the air till you "Lift Off From The Throne" like YEEZY, BEY, AND HOV!! go to Brooklyn and shoot ya till blood SMEAR DA STREET N' GO!! have "Marcy's Walls Colored In Red" like Wayne's MIRROR VIDEO!! (Mars Sees..Expo)"

Current but wasn't worded correctly. "HAVE" and "Mars SEE(S) Walls" don't go together. It's just broken.' it wasn't clean enough to hit for me.

"Niggas in a certain part of my town will bang ya and leave ya BODY IN A HUMMER if ya cross a bad street or get LOST YA LITTLE FUCKER!! so stay in the suburbs white kid or "End Up On The Wrong Side Of The Tracks" like inCOMPETENT CONDUCTORS!!!!!"

Lol, no wrong side of the tracks and incompotent
Conductors is just cheesy and too vague a reference to really hit for me

Overall 6:

I couldn't get past Re's use of old plays. I wouldn't mind but they weren't flipped well enough for me to get over it. Shot was relentless. I know re can handle himself in audio and has a rep in text so maybe the long lay off got him rusty and a little behind on the times. No offence.
Prose wasn't great but atleast it was more relevant/fresher. Plus had less filler, cutting down on the 1 liners. Just needs to be more consistent.

Winner/Prose

..........

---------- Post added at 09:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:46 PM ----------

I'm wrong on the tense for once these blinds open. That's my bad. I done gazillion word break downs. shit's bound to happen. The rest still stands though. and the vote still stands. There's no getting past the dated plays.

[Prose_]

I respect that. Ima take all that into account. Preciate it. But six... U kinda took a piss on my pride wit that. Lol but thanks for real.

[Prose_]

I respect that. Ima take all that into account. Preciate it. But six... U kinda took a piss on my pride wit that. Lol but thanks for real.

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432231

---------- Post added at 10:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:48 PM ----------

Idk if u have to mention so...http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432231

---------- Post added at 10:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:49 PM ----------

Wow I forgot ur name @Just C

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432231

---------- Post added at 10:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:48 PM ----------

Idk if u have to mention so...http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432231

---------- Post added at 10:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:49 PM ----------

Wow I forgot ur name @Just C