Just C's Super Realistic Voting Thread (not for the easily offended) post links.

[Just C]

Line for line breakdowns on:

8's
16's
32's

All breakdowns will be posted in this thread as the battle comment's box isn't exactly line for line friendly as far as both writing and reading them is concerned.

[Just C]

Line for line breakdowns on:

8's
16's
32's

All breakdowns will be posted in this thread as the battle comment's box isn't exactly line for line friendly as far as both writing and reading them is concerned.

[TalkSick]

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432245 @Just C no need for a breakdown Verity Vs Talk

[TalkSick]

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432245 @Just C no need for a breakdown Verity Vs Talk

[ViTRiOL]

Haha, there's no point in me posting anything...
You can use your enzymes to break down my sperm if you want.

[ViTRiOL]

Haha, there's no point in me posting anything...
You can use your enzymes to break down my sperm if you want.

[Prose_]

http://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_b...909&section=tb

[Prose_]

http://www.letsbeef.com/tournament_b...909&section=tb

[Just C]

Originally Posted by ViTRiOL

Haha, there's no point in me posting anything...
You can use your enzymes to break down my sperm if you want.

@AfterThought Vs. @ViTRiOL

AfterThought:

Look at me, you must have "Optical Issues" thinkin you'll win, coz when I COME TO YOU & LISTEN? it aint sound-or- feelin-right that you "Down w/ Killer Sight" coz you "UNDER SUPER-VISION"!!!/

I can see what you tried to achieve and you did well to keep everything relevant to the concept, but I had to double check what crew vitriol was in because of the "Down with killer sight" part, if that would have been his crew's name, then it would have been a lot nicer. The bar overall didn't hit as hard as you might think, I can appreciate the effort, but it could have been worded better plus I think you got bogged down in the concept, it was on topic but was too vague for a big hit for me.

this "Hard Written Challenge" finna aim HEAT AT THE VETS see em dead, "Look Around You" & the barrel head'll-just-handle to "Get You Exampled (exam pulled)" without a "CHEAT IN A TEST"!!!!/

Some major wording issues here. Not just the choice of words, but the arrangement as well. I wasn't feeling the wordplay for 2 reasons.

1: "GET you EXAMPLED" the wording is just off for me, it just feels amateur and noobish.

2: "Get YOU exampled" makes the wordplay null as it does work in the read for the intended double meaning Eg "Get YOU exam pulled"

If it was me to make it work I woulda said "Get YA = short for YOUR exampled/exampled" I know it's only a minor alteration but in a format where sound and pronunciation doesn't come into play. It's makes a big difference.

faggit i be on the BLOCK w/ A KNIFE SHREDDIN ya POCKETS for NIGHT BETTIN till "V's Ah Count: Nothin (visa)" & you "Die By A Withdraw" as im "STOPPIN YA LIFE CREDIT"!!!!/ Me? Classick.

This was a really nice attempt at a punch as far as the angle you took was concerned but again the wording is very sloppy using the words "NIGHT BETTIN" I can't help feeling you said that just because it rhymed with "KNIFE SHREDDING" again the wordplay for Visa account only really works 1 way. I like the read after that. You're sticking him up at the ATM, he withdraws his cash then you kill him. Atleast that's the imagery I got from the last line.

Overall: not bad. a good creative approach and for the most part you show that you can think up a concept and stick with it. You just need to work on making the double meanings as well as brushing up on your wording.

6:


ViTRiOL

If AT is acting cold, I'll HEAT'EM WITH MORTARS and give "Pussy a Clue Who's Murderous" like SEMEN IN CORPSES!!

I would have said "and give THIS pussy a clue" The line hit. The whole "HEAT EM WITH MORTARS" was very filler like but there is no denying the closer hit. Wasn't the best by any stretch of the imagination and has probably been used many times before. But it definitely did it's job.

These knives'll "Tear A Wrist Open Via (terrorist open fire)" the DEEPEST OF TORTURE, this "Camp Dude Ran for Help" but I deLETED THE SOURCES and his "Story Didn't Make It" like a norWEGION REPORTER'S!!!(Breivik)

Naaaaaaaaah.! See the wordplay again only works 1 way. If you read it for it's intended double meaning it makes NO sense.

Look:

meaning 1:

"These knives'll "Tear A Wrist Open Via" tbc run on = Thumbs up.

meaning 2:

These knives'll terrorist open fire" = WHAT?!

You see what I mean?

Anyway

The rest of the line for the Breivik line was ight but it wasn't clear and concise enough. A little too cryptic in nature for it to really pack a punch, at least for me, others might think different though.

But serious, him a vet? I think AT is WEAK AS AN AUTHOR, even though he may have "Papers in Piles - He Still Bullshits About the Crime" like the SNEAKIEST LAWYER!!

Hmmmmmmm. Not bad. I'm guessing you mean bad author/lies about his criminal past/threats/Fictional Author plus the obvious sneaky lawyer n piles of paper concept. But being a fictional author doesn't make you a weak author as a double-entendre. It does work but it is flawed. It took me a minute to pin point what made me double take mid read but that's what didn't sit well with me. Maybe that wasn't your intention and I misinterpreted it?

It ain't "Church Boredom" when I leave him aSLEEP ON THE ALTAR before "Thought is Buried with his Effects" W/O FREEDOM FROM TRAUMA!!! (PTSD) Tweet 0 Like

Didn't get it. People will say why vote then? But you have to understand that not me or anyone else for that fact can know everything there is out there in the world. That's just the risk you run when battling. It is what it is.

Overall for me it came down to who had the cleaner, less flawed read. Both tried to be creative. 1 just didn't get as bogged down as the other. I'm all for creativity but not to the point where it becomes a crutch.

Winner/Vitriol

................

[Just C]

Originally Posted by ViTRiOL

Haha, there's no point in me posting anything...
You can use your enzymes to break down my sperm if you want.

@AfterThought Vs. @ViTRiOL

AfterThought:

Look at me, you must have "Optical Issues" thinkin you'll win, coz when I COME TO YOU & LISTEN? it aint sound-or- feelin-right that you "Down w/ Killer Sight" coz you "UNDER SUPER-VISION"!!!/

I can see what you tried to achieve and you did well to keep everything relevant to the concept, but I had to double check what crew vitriol was in because of the "Down with killer sight" part, if that would have been his crew's name, then it would have been a lot nicer. The bar overall didn't hit as hard as you might think, I can appreciate the effort, but it could have been worded better plus I think you got bogged down in the concept, it was on topic but was too vague for a big hit for me.

this "Hard Written Challenge" finna aim HEAT AT THE VETS see em dead, "Look Around You" & the barrel head'll-just-handle to "Get You Exampled (exam pulled)" without a "CHEAT IN A TEST"!!!!/

Some major wording issues here. Not just the choice of words, but the arrangement as well. I wasn't feeling the wordplay for 2 reasons.

1: "GET you EXAMPLED" the wording is just off for me, it just feels amateur and noobish.

2: "Get YOU exampled" makes the wordplay null as it does work in the read for the intended double meaning Eg "Get YOU exam pulled"

If it was me to make it work I woulda said "Get YA = short for YOUR exampled/exampled" I know it's only a minor alteration but in a format where sound and pronunciation doesn't come into play. It's makes a big difference.

faggit i be on the BLOCK w/ A KNIFE SHREDDIN ya POCKETS for NIGHT BETTIN till "V's Ah Count: Nothin (visa)" & you "Die By A Withdraw" as im "STOPPIN YA LIFE CREDIT"!!!!/ Me? Classick.

This was a really nice attempt at a punch as far as the angle you took was concerned but again the wording is very sloppy using the words "NIGHT BETTIN" I can't help feeling you said that just because it rhymed with "KNIFE SHREDDING" again the wordplay for Visa account only really works 1 way. I like the read after that. You're sticking him up at the ATM, he withdraws his cash then you kill him. Atleast that's the imagery I got from the last line.

Overall: not bad. a good creative approach and for the most part you show that you can think up a concept and stick with it. You just need to work on making the double meanings as well as brushing up on your wording.

6:


ViTRiOL

If AT is acting cold, I'll HEAT'EM WITH MORTARS and give "Pussy a Clue Who's Murderous" like SEMEN IN CORPSES!!

I would have said "and give THIS pussy a clue" The line hit. The whole "HEAT EM WITH MORTARS" was very filler like but there is no denying the closer hit. Wasn't the best by any stretch of the imagination and has probably been used many times before. But it definitely did it's job.

These knives'll "Tear A Wrist Open Via (terrorist open fire)" the DEEPEST OF TORTURE, this "Camp Dude Ran for Help" but I deLETED THE SOURCES and his "Story Didn't Make It" like a norWEGION REPORTER'S!!!(Breivik)

Naaaaaaaaah.! See the wordplay again only works 1 way. If you read it for it's intended double meaning it makes NO sense.

Look:

meaning 1:

"These knives'll "Tear A Wrist Open Via" tbc run on = Thumbs up.

meaning 2:

These knives'll terrorist open fire" = WHAT?!

You see what I mean?

Anyway

The rest of the line for the Breivik line was ight but it wasn't clear and concise enough. A little too cryptic in nature for it to really pack a punch, at least for me, others might think different though.

But serious, him a vet? I think AT is WEAK AS AN AUTHOR, even though he may have "Papers in Piles - He Still Bullshits About the Crime" like the SNEAKIEST LAWYER!!

Hmmmmmmm. Not bad. I'm guessing you mean bad author/lies about his criminal past/threats/Fictional Author plus the obvious sneaky lawyer n piles of paper concept. But being a fictional author doesn't make you a weak author as a double-entendre. It does work but it is flawed. It took me a minute to pin point what made me double take mid read but that's what didn't sit well with me. Maybe that wasn't your intention and I misinterpreted it?

It ain't "Church Boredom" when I leave him aSLEEP ON THE ALTAR before "Thought is Buried with his Effects" W/O FREEDOM FROM TRAUMA!!! (PTSD) Tweet 0 Like

Didn't get it. People will say why vote then? But you have to understand that not me or anyone else for that fact can know everything there is out there in the world. That's just the risk you run when battling. It is what it is.

Overall for me it came down to who had the cleaner, less flawed read. Both tried to be creative. 1 just didn't get as bogged down as the other. I'm all for creativity but not to the point where it becomes a crutch.

Winner/Vitriol

................

[ViTRiOL]

Thank you, Just C... I have one question. You were talking about our wordplays not connecting: Get You (Exam Pulled) and Knives'll (Terrorist Open Fire) ... Can you give me an example of a worplay connecting to the original line? Because I have seen the likes of RhetoriK, DaDDiO and UA use wordplays that negate your criticism. I'm not hating, I would seriously like to hear an example from you.

Also, you still in text these days? ...

[ViTRiOL]

Thank you, Just C... I have one question. You were talking about our wordplays not connecting: Get You (Exam Pulled) and Knives'll (Terrorist Open Fire) ... Can you give me an example of a worplay connecting to the original line? Because I have seen the likes of RhetoriK, DaDDiO and UA use wordplays that negate your criticism. I'm not hating, I would seriously like to hear an example from you.

Also, you still in text these days? ...

[Prose_]

See @ViTRiOL told ya that lawyer bar wasn't right.

[Prose_]

See @ViTRiOL told ya that lawyer bar wasn't right.

[Just C]

Originally Posted by ViTRiOL

Thank you, Just C... I have one question. You were talking about our wordplays not connecting: Get You (Exam Pulled) and Knives'll (Terrorist Open Fire) ... Can you give me an example of a worplay connecting to the original line? Because I have seen the likes of RhetoriK, DaDDiO and UA use wordplays that negate your criticism. I'm not hating, I would seriously like to hear an example from you.

Also, you still in text these days? ...

I'm not going to give you an example of what would have worked but the simple fact is like I stated the terrorist line didn't work as a WP as it's second meaning didn't make sense in the context of the line. Read the second meaning. You can see it's just gibberish.

But you can always post Daddio's, UA's and others WP so I can tell you IF and why I think they don't work.

---------- Post added at 04:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:47 PM ----------

Talk and Prose next.

Just be patient. Lol each battle takes a minute to vote n feed on.

[Just C]

Originally Posted by ViTRiOL

Thank you, Just C... I have one question. You were talking about our wordplays not connecting: Get You (Exam Pulled) and Knives'll (Terrorist Open Fire) ... Can you give me an example of a worplay connecting to the original line? Because I have seen the likes of RhetoriK, DaDDiO and UA use wordplays that negate your criticism. I'm not hating, I would seriously like to hear an example from you.

Also, you still in text these days? ...

I'm not going to give you an example of what would have worked but the simple fact is like I stated the terrorist line didn't work as a WP as it's second meaning didn't make sense in the context of the line. Read the second meaning. You can see it's just gibberish.

But you can always post Daddio's, UA's and others WP so I can tell you IF and why I think they don't work.

---------- Post added at 04:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:47 PM ----------

Talk and Prose next.

Just be patient. Lol each battle takes a minute to vote n feed on.

[The Kid Eddie T]

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432050
vs macc

[The Kid Eddie T]

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=432050
vs macc

[ViTRiOL]

Originally Posted by Just C

I'm not going to give you an example of what would have worked but the simple fact is like I stated the terrorist line didn't work as a WP as it's second meaning didn't make sense in the context of the line. Read the second meaning. You can see it's just gibberish.

But you can always post Daddio's, UA's and others WP so I can tell you IF and why I think they don't work.

---------- Post added at 04:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:47 PM ----------

Talk and Prose next.

Just be patient. Lol each battle takes a minute to vote n feed on.

Fuck it, I'll stick to a cryptic grind. It works for the vets, no-one seems to care about their flaws... Oh wait, that's because people can be the best with a username these days.

I appreciate your feed though Just, honestly.

[ViTRiOL]

Originally Posted by Just C

I'm not going to give you an example of what would have worked but the simple fact is like I stated the terrorist line didn't work as a WP as it's second meaning didn't make sense in the context of the line. Read the second meaning. You can see it's just gibberish.

But you can always post Daddio's, UA's and others WP so I can tell you IF and why I think they don't work.

---------- Post added at 04:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:47 PM ----------

Talk and Prose next.

Just be patient. Lol each battle takes a minute to vote n feed on.

Fuck it, I'll stick to a cryptic grind. It works for the vets, no-one seems to care about their flaws... Oh wait, that's because people can be the best with a username these days.

I appreciate your feed though Just, honestly.