Jokes.

[Óðinn]

Oh...& i was the one who took your sandwich that day too....but you beating that fat kid up was funny though.....

[Óðinn]

Oh...& i was the one who took your sandwich that day too....but you beating that fat kid up was funny though.....

[ViTRiOL]

On April 1st, a woman who is nearly 11 months pregnant is taken in for a forced labour. The doctors were telling her the baby had to come out on the count of how late she was. The combination of gas and air and the spinal tap makes her pass out during the procedure.

She wakes up a few hours later and no-one is in the ward. No doctors. No nurses. No-one. So she walks out into the corridor and sees a nurse holding a baby by the ankles and smashing it to pieces on the wall. Instinctively, she screams, "OH MY GOD, MY BABY!" and the nurse replies, "April Fools! It was already dead."

[ViTRiOL]

On April 1st, a woman who is nearly 11 months pregnant is taken in for a forced labour. The doctors were telling her the baby had to come out on the count of how late she was. The combination of gas and air and the spinal tap makes her pass out during the procedure.

She wakes up a few hours later and no-one is in the ward. No doctors. No nurses. No-one. So she walks out into the corridor and sees a nurse holding a baby by the ankles and smashing it to pieces on the wall. Instinctively, she screams, "OH MY GOD, MY BABY!" and the nurse replies, "April Fools! It was already dead."

[Óðinn]

^^ Lmfaooo lool

[Óðinn]

^^ Lmfaooo lool

[IV]

What do you call an Italian football player with a false leg? ROBERRRTOOO (rubber toe)

[IV]

What do you call an Italian football player with a false leg? ROBERRRTOOO (rubber toe)

Verity that was a bit forced, just like your first sexual experience.

Verity that was a bit forced, just like your first sexual experience.

Originally Posted by BLNK

Verity that was a bit forced, just like your first sexual experience.

@BLNK At least she had a sexual experience

Originally Posted by BLNK

Verity that was a bit forced, just like your first sexual experience.

@BLNK At least she had a sexual experience

You didn't? I'm sorry to hear that. It must be tough.

You didn't? I'm sorry to hear that. It must be tough.

Knock knock..

Knock knock..

[Teek]

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."

------

Late one evening, the day after he had lost his wife scuba diving, two grim-faced policemen paid Mr. Rhodes a visit. "We're sorry to disturb you at this hour, Mr Rhodes, but we have some information concerning your wife. Actually, we have some bad news, some pretty good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Obviously fearing the worst, Mr Rhodes asked for the bad news first.

"We're sorry to inform you, sir," the policeman said, "we found your wife's body in the San Francisco Bay this morning."
Oh, my God!" said a distraught Mr. Rhodes. Remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"When we pulled her up," said the policeman, "she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen crabs on her."
"What?" a confused Mr Rhodes exclaimed. "So, what's the great news?"

As he smiled and smacked his lips, the officer replied, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
---------------------------
Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".

"Why is that?" said the other tramp.

"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."

The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."

"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

[Teek]

A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"

His father says, "No...how old?"

He says, "I'm eleven!"

He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"

She says, "Come closer..."

She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.

She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."

He says, "How could you tell?"

She says, "I heard you tell your father."

------

Late one evening, the day after he had lost his wife scuba diving, two grim-faced policemen paid Mr. Rhodes a visit. "We're sorry to disturb you at this hour, Mr Rhodes, but we have some information concerning your wife. Actually, we have some bad news, some pretty good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Obviously fearing the worst, Mr Rhodes asked for the bad news first.

"We're sorry to inform you, sir," the policeman said, "we found your wife's body in the San Francisco Bay this morning."
Oh, my God!" said a distraught Mr. Rhodes. Remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"
"When we pulled her up," said the policeman, "she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen crabs on her."
"What?" a confused Mr Rhodes exclaimed. "So, what's the great news?"

As he smiled and smacked his lips, the officer replied, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
---------------------------
Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".

"Why is that?" said the other tramp.

"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."

The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."

"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

Originally Posted by blnk

verity that was a bit forced, just like your first sexual experience.

i choked on my dinner you ass hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by blnk

verity that was a bit forced, just like your first sexual experience.

i choked on my dinner you ass hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!