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Subreal

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  #1  
Unread 06-26-2014, 12:15 AM
IAmFlow
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,092
Mentioned: 62 Post(s)
Tagged: 5 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
7 Won / 7 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.21/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.21/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
192 Won / 43 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
10 Won / 2 Lost
Default

Subreal - Rhyme scheme was okay, the flow was kinda of bland and boring because of the areas with the longer bars on them. The overall story was cool, and you had decent imagery as to what was going on. I did, however, think you could have using better descriptive words when actually depicting what was going on. I didn't feel you really projected this picture very well into you topic. Besides the prison reference there was nothing that could hold that picture in the mind of the reader. Also, with the imagery that you had in your verse, there really wasn't much imagery about the actual Topic Picture itself. That Dark, Desolate, Empty hallway that you had to write about. Overall the piece was an alright drop, I thought the with the picture and the topic connection you could have went much deeper with your verse.

Bleu - Rhyme schème and flow was on point from start to finish. A bit bland, and ehh on the topic IMO. I was would the wording, emotion, imagery.. Verse was well written, but I just felt bored reading it because of the topic that you brought to the table. With that being said I thought you tied in the picture metaphorically nice at the end of your verse with seeing the end of the tunnel. Overall you utilized all the skills in this verse but I thought you were quite limited with the direction you took but still made for a good verse anyways.

MGVT: Bleu - Subreal had the better story, but other than that, I thought Bleu was better in everything else. One of things I got from this picture, was the dark, gloomy place. Decrepit Floor, doors down the hallway. There was just a lot of dark descriptiveness that played into this picture, I didn't feel like either of you brought that kind of imagery to the table. I just felt that imagery was a given for this type of topical picture, just as a heads up for next time. Both of you stay up. Decent battle here.
Unread 06-26-2014, 12:15 AM   #1
 
IAmFlow
Estimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 7.91/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
7 Won / 7 Lost
Estimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 7.91/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.21/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.21/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
192 Won / 43 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
10 Won / 2 Lost
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Voted: 166 audio / 1340 text
Posts: 4,092
Mentioned: 62 Post(s)
Tagged: 5 Thread(s)


Default

Subreal - Rhyme scheme was okay, the flow was kinda of bland and boring because of the areas with the longer bars on them. The overall story was cool, and you had decent imagery as to what was going on. I did, however, think you could have using better descriptive words when actually depicting what was going on. I didn't feel you really projected this picture very well into you topic. Besides the prison reference there was nothing that could hold that picture in the mind of the reader. Also, with the imagery that you had in your verse, there really wasn't much imagery about the actual Topic Picture itself. That Dark, Desolate, Empty hallway that you had to write about. Overall the piece was an alright drop, I thought the with the picture and the topic connection you could have went much deeper with your verse.

Bleu - Rhyme schème and flow was on point from start to finish. A bit bland, and ehh on the topic IMO. I was would the wording, emotion, imagery.. Verse was well written, but I just felt bored reading it because of the topic that you brought to the table. With that being said I thought you tied in the picture metaphorically nice at the end of your verse with seeing the end of the tunnel. Overall you utilized all the skills in this verse but I thought you were quite limited with the direction you took but still made for a good verse anyways.

MGVT: Bleu - Subreal had the better story, but other than that, I thought Bleu was better in everything else. One of things I got from this picture, was the dark, gloomy place. Decrepit Floor, doors down the hallway. There was just a lot of dark descriptiveness that played into this picture, I didn't feel like either of you brought that kind of imagery to the table. I just felt that imagery was a given for this type of topical picture, just as a heads up for next time. Both of you stay up. Decent battle here.
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