REMOVED vs Dopemceee - Text Tournament Battle - Rap Battles and Freestyle Battles at LetsBeef.com

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Topical Tournament #8
Length: 40 Lines

REMOVED (100%) Won

Ranked #-- This Month (#18 All Time)

None

Reppin: Unknown

Dopemceee (0%) Lost

Basic Member

Ranked #-- This Month (#-- All Time)

None

Reppin: Afghanistan

Dopemceee

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    Lying Unconsious in bed, blurry vision everythin is on shade, tries to speak, but words dnt come out frm lip, cant move his hips, evry part of body is stiff Then attempts a failed  howl, feels like his body is bout to leave his soul, turns right sees two bullets covered by blood in a glass bowl, then there is change in plot, the curtain of darkness covering his mind dropped, remember's last night he got couple gun shots, turns left, a monitor is beeping showing his heart beat, closes his eyes but he's not asleep, then takes his thought's deep
     Back in time many many year, ther's a reason why he's here, he used to live alone with mother who never took his care, he had father but he was neva there
     He had nothing to loose or fear, as time passed bad thugs became his peer, always smokin weed drinkin beer, 
      hanging with thugs snortin drugs, soon he was a popular goon, bad ass loon, looting home, popping chrome, shooting dome
     Them smthng unusal happened, thing that no one had thought of at all, that cold hearted man truely fell in love with great girl, they married n had child, a beautiful daughter, then one day his love of life was slaughtered, by other heartless, she died leaving his life in  utter darkness
       Droppin tears over face of his dead wife, he promised to take vengance with those dyke, who murdered  love of his life, then start a new journey with his daughter of different type, a different one which was nothing alike with this one
    But, everything doesnt happen in the same way we thought to be, he kills one murderer then 10 more become his enemy, he wants to take revenge but his daughter wants him to change, even though he loved his girl n always cared , but for her  he was neva there 
    One day when she was sixteen, she made a big scene, fighting with dad she screamed,"Dad!! U always made me n momma sad, u are bad, u killed many men n made their wifes slut, every gift u gave is bought spillin blood, because of u there's wound in this heart that'll neva clot  because of u momma is dead thanks a lot, now on u dnt hav to do anything for me, i'll start a new life, begin new journey "
      Another piece of heart left him, he was up drinkin till twelve, this time he cant take vow to kill who took her away cuz it was himself, it amazing, same words  poppin out frm mouth of whole world wont mean a thing, but exact words from loved one break heart string n she was right, he always got into fight, but it was for her all the dead bodies he piled was tah see her smile, all the miles he ran when cops chase was cuz he culd go home n see her face...   But now she's gone, he's on his own all alone, even though its late, he'll give up n change his fate, but it was too late there was price on his head n after a year he's lying unconscious on his house floor with two bullet 
                                    **** Door cracks, he opens his eyes***
    Familiar face enters, with a bouquet of flower, a face that was in his mind for hour, he  takes his eyes off her, sees two new stranger must be her child n lover, tries to talk words wont come out, feels ashamed, use all his energy in attempt to scream loud, but the result same, another failed attempt... she puts flower between his feets, comes near him n sits, then speaks, 'dad i'm sorry!! Dnt think i didnt loved u i always did, forgive me please' with that being said, gives him kiss at forehead then she left.. as she left he suffocates, he culdnt breath, his mind regrets, everytinh he did, he said, dark circle surrounds his head then he thinks is this end of my life am i close to death

Voting has ended for this battle (battle finished on 2015-11-06 02:24:06).

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Óðinn <....>
The Goatfather
Topical Champion
Tag Team Champion

Both came with cool spins on this topic. One could of taken this with better wording. Good luck to both. Fairs in, i'm out. Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2015-11-05 23:15:23

NOBLE <FITTEST> Staff Hall Of Famer	Topic: "COMING CLOSE TO DEATH" Submission Deadline: Nov 5, 2015 @11:59 PM Eastern (GMT -4) Votes/Round closes at Nov 7, 2015 @11:59 PM Eastern (GMT -4) Good luck fellas! Posted on: 2015-11-01 09:01:23
exwhyzee <DPS> THE EAST COAST'S FINEST	I like locks approach, necrophila. It was creative. Serious but strangly humorous at the same. dopeemcee your approach was more straightforward and emotional. in any other case this wouldve won me over greatly, but your submission just didnt jump out at me as much as your opponents. both of you had strong verses in their different ways, just preference here. Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2015-11-05 22:12:39
Shodan <FireNation> One Bar Champion The Fire Lord	Remind me to vote on this. It's good, but I'm having trouble choosing my winner. Posted on: 2015-11-05 22:59:46
Looksemoh Live Battler	Solid on both sides. One suffered a little bit from "wall of text" syndrome which made his submission difficult to read, but still kept my interest. The other completely subverted the topic, making a dark comedy that was daring and effective, and got my decision based on that. GL. Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2015-11-06 00:12:11
bars-of-legend <GetRight> Exclusive Member	goodness gracious.. this was a dope read from both. but one had a concept that never crosses my mind. that took it. thinking out the box Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2015-11-06 07:01:41
Student Staff Hall of Famer LB Historian LetsBeef Patriarch Creative Genius	Felt like one took this with their creative approach to the subject. Other was good but I felt like they had predictable storyline. Fair's in fellas, thanks for the read. Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2015-11-06 19:38:43
DESSA <MAGA>	Both was cool lock it was deso dope . It was shaken towards the end but not bad Fv in gl Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2015-11-06 19:44:20
COFFIN DODGER	two different approaches.one had a story that had dark humour and the twist that folks look for .other had a more emotional and conventional approach but suffered due to some bad wording/phrasing which made my decision easier. but gb to both ,fvn nh Voted: Yes (Hidden) Posted on: 2015-11-06 22:48:33

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