Lucifer's Tricks.

[Babylon]

The calm throttles to painful as ensemble's of angels gather round' the winning sacrifice,
To stake an innocent lamb, fill his demands and leave our God sittin' satisfied,
The tradition is damned, citizens cram to watch angels descend to fill his appetite,
But today one took a militant stand, put a stick in the sand and became the willing Acolyte,
He had sinister plans, took a weapon and let it slip from his hands to kill an Angel,
The Angel fell to the floor, the man walked up to it, grabbing the shell of the sword and gripped the halo:

"My name is Lucifer. Destined to greet hell with his horns, I've fell from the Lord as my sins were fatal. I've come to tell of the storm, a new leader of hell has been born and in this city is where he sits in cradles."

Then Lucifer turned to the rest of the angelic soldiers, had his weapons bolstered, set the holster down to rest his shoulders, as Angels advanced he angled his stance to have the eleven soldiers headed over witness Lucifer vanish into ash and a poetic smolder. The brothers of the fallen Angel weeped at his corpse, had his blood cleaned from the sword as the madness was rising. They had a reason to mourn but they were seeking for more so they grabbed at the sirens. They summoned demons with horns, tore their spleens with the swords, nothing but havoc inside them.. the city-scape was ripped with blades, it was graphic and violent. The townspeople sit in flames, watching as their kids get slain within' the ravaging crisis..

Days passed as the Angels slaughtered the demons, they were conquered and beaten, and as the last clash of a sword banged they stopped with their legion. Lucifer re-appeared, his soft, sinister voice called to them speaking: "Soldiers of God surely wouldn't slaughter regions.. See innocent people and in rage tear them all to pieces, go ahead, call to Jesus, he can't even look upon you, you're all as I am now, a fallen heathen."

The Angels called upon their God, even offered him a fawn but got no response so they swore at the Lord. They realized what Lucifer had done and they slowed and stopped, as they realized what he had forced them to bore, they knew they were hopeless and lost, so they cried out and spoke to their God in attempts to snuff out the hate that was forged in the war: "We have failed you. Forgive us for not heeding your warning my Lord." So they looked at each other and focused their thoughts, cried knowing their own actions made them chosen to rot as each plunged a sword in their core.

Lucifer smiled as they passed, summoned a bible in the ash and while talking he just read a verse.
He looked into the heavens for miles and he asked "When will they leave my trials with a pass?" As he tossed the Angel's bodies in a sepulcher

this was my first time writing something like this, if you have any advice as to how I could make them better please do share

[Babylon]

The calm throttles to painful as ensemble's of angels gather round' the winning sacrifice,
To stake an innocent lamb, fill his demands and leave our God sittin' satisfied,
The tradition is damned, citizens cram to watch angels descend to fill his appetite,
But today one took a militant stand, put a stick in the sand and became the willing Acolyte,
He had sinister plans, took a weapon and let it slip from his hands to kill an Angel,
The Angel fell to the floor, the man walked up to it, grabbing the shell of the sword and gripped the halo:

"My name is Lucifer. Destined to greet hell with his horns, I've fell from the Lord as my sins were fatal. I've come to tell of the storm, a new leader of hell has been born and in this city is where he sits in cradles."

Then Lucifer turned to the rest of the angelic soldiers, had his weapons bolstered, set the holster down to rest his shoulders, as Angels advanced he angled his stance to have the eleven soldiers headed over witness Lucifer vanish into ash and a poetic smolder. The brothers of the fallen Angel weeped at his corpse, had his blood cleaned from the sword as the madness was rising. They had a reason to mourn but they were seeking for more so they grabbed at the sirens. They summoned demons with horns, tore their spleens with the swords, nothing but havoc inside them.. the city-scape was ripped with blades, it was graphic and violent. The townspeople sit in flames, watching as their kids get slain within' the ravaging crisis..

Days passed as the Angels slaughtered the demons, they were conquered and beaten, and as the last clash of a sword banged they stopped with their legion. Lucifer re-appeared, his soft, sinister voice called to them speaking: "Soldiers of God surely wouldn't slaughter regions.. See innocent people and in rage tear them all to pieces, go ahead, call to Jesus, he can't even look upon you, you're all as I am now, a fallen heathen."

The Angels called upon their God, even offered him a fawn but got no response so they swore at the Lord. They realized what Lucifer had done and they slowed and stopped, as they realized what he had forced them to bore, they knew they were hopeless and lost, so they cried out and spoke to their God in attempts to snuff out the hate that was forged in the war: "We have failed you. Forgive us for not heeding your warning my Lord." So they looked at each other and focused their thoughts, cried knowing their own actions made them chosen to rot as each plunged a sword in their core.

Lucifer smiled as they passed, summoned a bible in the ash and while talking he just read a verse.
He looked into the heavens for miles and he asked "When will they leave my trials with a pass?" As he tossed the Angel's bodies in a sepulcher

this was my first time writing something like this, if you have any advice as to how I could make them better please do share

[The Dope Man]

good shit, @Crysis , actually like this theme alot & imagery was on point. I felt like the ending could have been construed a lil different to make it more interesting but that's just nit-picking. Good stuff tho bro.

~1~

(i like how you incorporated a picture to your piece.)

[The Dope Man]

good shit, @Crysis , actually like this theme alot & imagery was on point. I felt like the ending could have been construed a lil different to make it more interesting but that's just nit-picking. Good stuff tho bro.

~1~

(i like how you incorporated a picture to your piece.)

[Babylon]

^Thanks, trying to get grounded with this shit but don't really know how to start all too well.

[Babylon]

^Thanks, trying to get grounded with this shit but don't really know how to start all too well.

[Wonderbred]

@Crysis I don't know why I didn't notice this earlier but that was damn good. I loved the biblical style you used. With guys like you in the ATT this year, it could be one of the best topical tournaments ever. Not even just being nice, this is probably in the top 10 topicals I've ever read on here. Your flow works really well with the narrative style. You have a lot of potential in this arena.

[Wonderbred]

@Crysis I don't know why I didn't notice this earlier but that was damn good. I loved the biblical style you used. With guys like you in the ATT this year, it could be one of the best topical tournaments ever. Not even just being nice, this is probably in the top 10 topicals I've ever read on here. Your flow works really well with the narrative style. You have a lot of potential in this arena.

[Babylon]

Originally Posted by Wonderbred

@Crysis I don't know why I didn't notice this earlier but that was damn good. I loved the biblical style you used. With guys like you in the ATT this year, it could be one of the best topical tournaments ever. Not even just being nice, this is probably in the top 10 topicals I've ever read on here. Your flow works really well with the narrative style. You have a lot of potential in this arena.

Damn, I appreciate that tremendously, especially from you. The hilarity is, I was going to give up attempting to write these as no one commented on this, and I assumed it was just terrible because of that. Going to go ahead and post the other few I made the night this was written

[Babylon]

Originally Posted by Wonderbred

@Crysis I don't know why I didn't notice this earlier but that was damn good. I loved the biblical style you used. With guys like you in the ATT this year, it could be one of the best topical tournaments ever. Not even just being nice, this is probably in the top 10 topicals I've ever read on here. Your flow works really well with the narrative style. You have a lot of potential in this arena.

Damn, I appreciate that tremendously, especially from you. The hilarity is, I was going to give up attempting to write these as no one commented on this, and I assumed it was just terrible because of that. Going to go ahead and post the other few I made the night this was written

[Wonderbred]

Originally Posted by Crysis

Damn, I appreciate that tremendously, especially from you. The hilarity is, I was going to give up attempting to write these as no one commented on this, and I assumed it was just terrible because of that. Going to go ahead and post the other few I made the night this was written

Nah man. Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you've got even more potential in topicals than you do in text. Can't wait to read more from you, keep it up.

[Wonderbred]

Originally Posted by Crysis

Damn, I appreciate that tremendously, especially from you. The hilarity is, I was going to give up attempting to write these as no one commented on this, and I assumed it was just terrible because of that. Going to go ahead and post the other few I made the night this was written

Nah man. Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you've got even more potential in topicals than you do in text. Can't wait to read more from you, keep it up.