ILLMANIA 4: Track Battle - SuperGuy Vs Mani Mula Vs Punk

[J u s T C]

Superguy.

Beat.

Was okay. middle of the road. Wasn't a bad beat but it never did anything for me. It was kinda bland and safe for my tastes.

Bars.

You suffer from what a lot of "internet" rappers do. They try to display a deep message only to end up saying a lot without really saying anything at all, through an over reliance on multi's which their skill set isn't on the same level to keep up with the heights the emcee puts on himself so it comes across as pretentious nonsense.

If you wan't to be a story teller you should start simple and work your way up to employing more "complex" rhyme schemes. I say "complex" in quotes because the vocab used wasn't complex at all. It was a lot of ABC rhyming. That can be cool when employing a bunch of multi's IF the message is clear and focused. but when it's scatterbrained it never works.

Right now you sound like every other run of the mill wanna be "deep" internet rapper only without the production that papers over their cracks and or even gets them overblown props they don't deserve.

Delivery.

Flat. Where is the emotion? the projection?

The lack of emotion added to the safe middle of the road beat choice and unfocused material just makes for a really un offensive, bland and forgettable track.

There's just nothing there that makes me want to listen. You sound like you can't be assed and if you can't be assed, why should the listener?

Make people pay attention to you, sell yourself and what it is you'e trying to say. The only way you can do that is to rap with confidence.

Also you need to practice more before you record because you tend to stretch and cram your words at different points to keep in tune with the beat.

If you find yourself forcing yourself to stay with the beat you need to go back to your bars and edit them so your not finding yourself at them points where you have to make up ground and so you're not running out of breath on say bar 4 because of something you said in bar 2 or 3.


Production.

Wasn't great but I wasn't expecting it to be. This is a hobby site. I rather judge other aspects. Quality production is a bonus so I'm not going to really make an opinion on that.

=======================

Will get to Mani and Punk some time today.

[J u s T C]

Superguy.

Beat.

Was okay. middle of the road. Wasn't a bad beat but it never did anything for me. It was kinda bland and safe for my tastes.

Bars.

You suffer from what a lot of "internet" rappers do. They try to display a deep message only to end up saying a lot without really saying anything at all, through an over reliance on multi's which their skill set isn't on the same level to keep up with the heights the emcee puts on himself so it comes across as pretentious nonsense.

If you wan't to be a story teller you should start simple and work your way up to employing more "complex" rhyme schemes. I say "complex" in quotes because the vocab used wasn't complex at all. It was a lot of ABC rhyming. That can be cool when employing a bunch of multi's IF the message is clear and focused. but when it's scatterbrained it never works.

Right now you sound like every other run of the mill wanna be "deep" internet rapper only without the production that papers over their cracks and or even gets them overblown props they don't deserve.

Delivery.

Flat. Where is the emotion? the projection?

The lack of emotion added to the safe middle of the road beat choice and unfocused material just makes for a really un offensive, bland and forgettable track.

There's just nothing there that makes me want to listen. You sound like you can't be assed and if you can't be assed, why should the listener?

Make people pay attention to you, sell yourself and what it is you'e trying to say. The only way you can do that is to rap with confidence.

Also you need to practice more before you record because you tend to stretch and cram your words at different points to keep in tune with the beat.

If you find yourself forcing yourself to stay with the beat you need to go back to your bars and edit them so your not finding yourself at them points where you have to make up ground and so you're not running out of breath on say bar 4 because of something you said in bar 2 or 3.


Production.

Wasn't great but I wasn't expecting it to be. This is a hobby site. I rather judge other aspects. Quality production is a bonus so I'm not going to really make an opinion on that.

=======================

Will get to Mani and Punk some time today.

[Leroy Brown]

Good shit @SuperGuy @Mani Mula @Punk

[Leroy Brown]

Good shit @SuperGuy @Mani Mula @Punk

[Mani Mula]

[quote=RULE;1034327][CENTER][SIZE="3"][COLOR="LightBlue"]


ILLMANIA 4 Track Battle

SuperGuy Vs Mani Mula Vs Punk

SuperGuy

Lets Beef Track: Battling With Snakes (ILLMANIA) - By: SuperGuy

Lets Beef Track: Battling With Snakes (ILLMANIA) - By: SuperGuy

Judgement: Five Thoughts

"Biggest issues to me is clearly the recording quality. Mixing skills are lacking, and the overall presentation from a production point of view took away from the song majorly."

Ok lets not forget we are not recording in professional studios, as long as the lyrics are clear enough to understand recording quality shouldnt be judged , in that case who has the better mic damn near a Automatic Winner

"track was smooth, lyricwise, his delivery was on point, was gettin a lil bored tho midway thru"

"Most creative concept track-wise. I felt that the attitude and approach was very lethargic and vague, added to the atmosphere of the track but most certainly took away from the listening experience - it was more haunting than stimulating."

" i didnt get alot out of that song. to make a song like that successful its gotta be insane lyrically cus its so chilled out.. i dont think he captured that "

"The song itself, quality issues aside, was very good. I liked the aussie delivery and tone, made the song pretty unique. The content was thought-provoking, enjoyed the storytelling vibe, although the wording was a little forced in places"

So Based off Your Votes Super guy had Nice "Content" and "Story telling" and got critiqued on his "Recording Quality"


Mani Mula

Lets Beef Track: Victory! - By: Mani Mula

Lets Beef Track: Victory! - By: Mani Mula

Judgement: Five Thoughts

"The mixing on the hook seemed a bit off, thats the main issue that stood out to me. The delivery was very strong, and the content was impactful with the beef vibe."

"The first thing that strikes me is the hook-line "I'm walking away with a victory"... It was grazing to the eardrums due to the intense repetitiveness and monotony. It seemed to stick out like a jagged jigsaw piece."

This vote clearly covers one aspect of the track, U didnt like the Hook/Bridge but dont mention anyting else...hmmm

"Mani did what he does .. he'd have a decent shot at some mainstream success.. i agree with what you said about his hook being a lil bit off .. ive heard some great hooks from him but that wasnt one of them "

Yet another vote where all that is explained is what u dont like about the hook/bridge is this a track battle or Battle of the Hooks?

"beat was nice and agressive, delivery was dope, lyrically, definately suited for this type of crew contest.."

This is a much more detailed Vote I respect this

"Overall it just felt like the track was a little short as far as content went, i just dont think there was enough content to push this track into 'great' territory."

Another vote where u pick one aspect, Its a Diss track how much "Content" does it need, Crews were Named, Opponents were Named, the point was made...


Punk

Lets Beef Track: Thank The Lord - By: Punk

Lets Beef Track: Thank The Lord - By: Punk

Judgement: Five Thoughts

"Delivery on the hook seemed a little rushed to me, was kinda hurt the strength of it. There seemed to be a vocal effect on it which i think was meant to make the hook seem more preachy but came off oddly robotic."

Another vote about how much u like the Hook smh, thats one aspect of a track

"I liked the warm and enlightening feel to this track. I felt that Punk connected with his beat the most and interacted with in a way that gave it a professional appeal."


"Punk fuckin killed it .. easily the best track of the 3 imo .. that boy crazy with it .. thats the only track id listen to more than once .. hes talented .. its obvious when you listen"

Now on a "professional" voting panel some1 tell me this dont sound like a Dickriding vote, this isnt a detailed vote at all

"Some areas suffered in terms of flow and delivery, the hook being a prime suspect. "

"There was definitely a number of highlights in the verse, with the story-telling vibe working perfectly with the production."


The Verdict

Voting closed after the first four judges all voted the same way, the feeling as a group was that SuperGuy's track was held down mostly due to its recording quality, although the judges opinion differed on the quality of the content with two enjoying the theme and complexity while the other two found it to be below avergae based on similar tracks of the same type. Mani's track was widely regarded as a great radio-friendly song, although criminally short on quality lines and the hook was overall rated as below average, yet catchy. Punk's hook was equally viewed as a bit off delivery wise, but the content was praised lyrically and on a delivery level.

This Verdict Makes no Sense, This is WHY I stated there needs to be a point system or something, With different Categories, It basically states u can have a dope track but if ya recording quality aint A1 Fuck It(Superguy), If you have dope Verses but we dont like the hook/bridge Fuck yo Verses(Mani Mula), But when u get to punk u state his Hook was off(Which u all care so deeply about) but the content was dope lyrically and on a delivery level ???

I cant put my finger on what was really being Judged here , No quotes, No Strengths were really listed, No point system to compare categories...Basically what I stated would happen in my previous post happened, u got 3 different types of tracks, with 3 dfferent beats, and tried to compare them, Thats not possible, Which Is why I stated they all shoulda been diss tracks, Guys who like Topicals will see Superguy was the Winner, Guys who like Beef tracks will See Me as the Winner, Those who like positive smooth tracks will see Punk as the Winner...


Congrats to @Punk Im not taking nothing away from him

but please next Illmania develop a point system or atleast leave more detailed votes...Just C break down was far better then these Judgments ...MURDA

[Mani Mula]

[quote=RULE;1034327][CENTER][SIZE="3"][COLOR="LightBlue"]


ILLMANIA 4 Track Battle

SuperGuy Vs Mani Mula Vs Punk

SuperGuy

Lets Beef Track: Battling With Snakes (ILLMANIA) - By: SuperGuy

Lets Beef Track: Battling With Snakes (ILLMANIA) - By: SuperGuy

Judgement: Five Thoughts

"Biggest issues to me is clearly the recording quality. Mixing skills are lacking, and the overall presentation from a production point of view took away from the song majorly."

Ok lets not forget we are not recording in professional studios, as long as the lyrics are clear enough to understand recording quality shouldnt be judged , in that case who has the better mic damn near a Automatic Winner

"track was smooth, lyricwise, his delivery was on point, was gettin a lil bored tho midway thru"

"Most creative concept track-wise. I felt that the attitude and approach was very lethargic and vague, added to the atmosphere of the track but most certainly took away from the listening experience - it was more haunting than stimulating."

" i didnt get alot out of that song. to make a song like that successful its gotta be insane lyrically cus its so chilled out.. i dont think he captured that "

"The song itself, quality issues aside, was very good. I liked the aussie delivery and tone, made the song pretty unique. The content was thought-provoking, enjoyed the storytelling vibe, although the wording was a little forced in places"

So Based off Your Votes Super guy had Nice "Content" and "Story telling" and got critiqued on his "Recording Quality"


Mani Mula

Lets Beef Track: Victory! - By: Mani Mula

Lets Beef Track: Victory! - By: Mani Mula

Judgement: Five Thoughts

"The mixing on the hook seemed a bit off, thats the main issue that stood out to me. The delivery was very strong, and the content was impactful with the beef vibe."

"The first thing that strikes me is the hook-line "I'm walking away with a victory"... It was grazing to the eardrums due to the intense repetitiveness and monotony. It seemed to stick out like a jagged jigsaw piece."

This vote clearly covers one aspect of the track, U didnt like the Hook/Bridge but dont mention anyting else...hmmm

"Mani did what he does .. he'd have a decent shot at some mainstream success.. i agree with what you said about his hook being a lil bit off .. ive heard some great hooks from him but that wasnt one of them "

Yet another vote where all that is explained is what u dont like about the hook/bridge is this a track battle or Battle of the Hooks?

"beat was nice and agressive, delivery was dope, lyrically, definately suited for this type of crew contest.."

This is a much more detailed Vote I respect this

"Overall it just felt like the track was a little short as far as content went, i just dont think there was enough content to push this track into 'great' territory."

Another vote where u pick one aspect, Its a Diss track how much "Content" does it need, Crews were Named, Opponents were Named, the point was made...


Punk

Lets Beef Track: Thank The Lord - By: Punk

Lets Beef Track: Thank The Lord - By: Punk

Judgement: Five Thoughts

"Delivery on the hook seemed a little rushed to me, was kinda hurt the strength of it. There seemed to be a vocal effect on it which i think was meant to make the hook seem more preachy but came off oddly robotic."

Another vote about how much u like the Hook smh, thats one aspect of a track

"I liked the warm and enlightening feel to this track. I felt that Punk connected with his beat the most and interacted with in a way that gave it a professional appeal."


"Punk fuckin killed it .. easily the best track of the 3 imo .. that boy crazy with it .. thats the only track id listen to more than once .. hes talented .. its obvious when you listen"

Now on a "professional" voting panel some1 tell me this dont sound like a Dickriding vote, this isnt a detailed vote at all

"Some areas suffered in terms of flow and delivery, the hook being a prime suspect. "

"There was definitely a number of highlights in the verse, with the story-telling vibe working perfectly with the production."


The Verdict

Voting closed after the first four judges all voted the same way, the feeling as a group was that SuperGuy's track was held down mostly due to its recording quality, although the judges opinion differed on the quality of the content with two enjoying the theme and complexity while the other two found it to be below avergae based on similar tracks of the same type. Mani's track was widely regarded as a great radio-friendly song, although criminally short on quality lines and the hook was overall rated as below average, yet catchy. Punk's hook was equally viewed as a bit off delivery wise, but the content was praised lyrically and on a delivery level.

This Verdict Makes no Sense, This is WHY I stated there needs to be a point system or something, With different Categories, It basically states u can have a dope track but if ya recording quality aint A1 Fuck It(Superguy), If you have dope Verses but we dont like the hook/bridge Fuck yo Verses(Mani Mula), But when u get to punk u state his Hook was off(Which u all care so deeply about) but the content was dope lyrically and on a delivery level ???

I cant put my finger on what was really being Judged here , No quotes, No Strengths were really listed, No point system to compare categories...Basically what I stated would happen in my previous post happened, u got 3 different types of tracks, with 3 dfferent beats, and tried to compare them, Thats not possible, Which Is why I stated they all shoulda been diss tracks, Guys who like Topicals will see Superguy was the Winner, Guys who like Beef tracks will See Me as the Winner, Those who like positive smooth tracks will see Punk as the Winner...


Congrats to @Punk Im not taking nothing away from him

but please next Illmania develop a point system or atleast leave more detailed votes...Just C break down was far better then these Judgments ...MURDA

[GRizzEAT]

I THOUGHT IT WAS A TRACK "BATTLE" THO?????

[GRizzEAT]

I THOUGHT IT WAS A TRACK "BATTLE" THO?????

[AfterThought]

^^^^^^^^.

[AfterThought]

^^^^^^^^.

[J u s T C]

Mani.

Beat

Not a beat I woulda personally picked because the hook sections too intrusive for a diss track. it feels like it's popping up every 30 seconds, but for a diss track it had the potential to be something killer with the Final Countdown opening and hook sections, just a shame it kinda contracts itself because it comes into play so often like I said.

A beat like Supahypes only with more personality and oomph woulda been better. Like Phils dissing benson using the Jada beat. No hooks just raw bars. Or if it has a hook section it isn't so obvious it MAKES you feel like you have drop into a hook yourself or if it does it doesn't pop up so damn often feeling like it's more hook than bars.


Bars/hook/quantity

Bars weren't really hitting as far as a diss. You really need to hit where it hurts. even throw them super low blows when making diss tracks. And that requires either doing some dirt digging or knowing your targets well from the jump.

You've been gone for a minute so I'm pretty sure you don't know Punk from adam and from what I know you've had other shit pre occupying your mind to be doing that kind of homework on him.

I get that but that will and does make your diss tracks suffer, It makes you fall back on generic material like nameplays that I'm sure you're aware have been done a thousand times over. Like the AC's air conditioner line. Or Mani Fresh lines. Especially when you've been away from battling/this site for so long.

If you don't have personal dirt to flip, don't have time to dig for it and have not battled for a long time. This is the result.

You probably woulda been better off putting ya Punk beef to 1 side and made a regular track instead because even though you haven't been battling, at least you've still been making music.

It woulda been more in your "comfort zone"


Or

You probably shoulda stuck more to the drake angle and kept it focused all while clowning what little you know about him. You coulda come up with a ton of angles to poke holes in that side of his character

THE HOOK.

This leads onto quantity, because your verses were so short and abrupt it made a hook made for small doses lose it's charm and start to grate. I know the verses were longer but it felt like you spent as much time spitting ya hook as you did the verses because they were so short. Thats great for a regular track but diss tracks are all about the verses. So in a way the hook worked against you when you take into account you had so little room to get into your stride on your verses. They never picked up momentum.

Disses are supposed to leave the listener thinking oh shit this guys really putting him on blast. To do that the verse needs to get out of first gear and gradually reach 4 and 5th. yours never got out of first.

Also going after Jack was a bad idea. especially when you had such little room to breath with the verses.


^ I guess that covers quantity too.

Delivery

It was up and down. Now I don't know if that's a mixing thing or not because it's not your flow, it's your pronunciation. It could be part mixing and part writing or just all the latter because not structuring your bars correctly can force you to mispronounce the words or slur them. which is the main problem here.

It's like 80 or 90% of the delivery is fine. But then you'd get parts of that 10 20% where you slur or it was slightly off pace and it was always at the key parts. Like when you're trying to make a play on words or right at the end of the bar after a cleanly pronounced previous bar. It kills the impact because it's hard to make out exactly what it is your saying.

I'm pretty sure you're aware of this though tbh

Mixing

Again I'm not really bothered other than if it's maybe having an effect on how your delivery comes across. Which I've already mentioned. But other than that 20% and maybe having a negative effect on the hook the mixing was straight on the verses.



Drop Punks soon and my vote

[J u s T C]

Mani.

Beat

Not a beat I woulda personally picked because the hook sections too intrusive for a diss track. it feels like it's popping up every 30 seconds, but for a diss track it had the potential to be something killer with the Final Countdown opening and hook sections, just a shame it kinda contracts itself because it comes into play so often like I said.

A beat like Supahypes only with more personality and oomph woulda been better. Like Phils dissing benson using the Jada beat. No hooks just raw bars. Or if it has a hook section it isn't so obvious it MAKES you feel like you have drop into a hook yourself or if it does it doesn't pop up so damn often feeling like it's more hook than bars.


Bars/hook/quantity

Bars weren't really hitting as far as a diss. You really need to hit where it hurts. even throw them super low blows when making diss tracks. And that requires either doing some dirt digging or knowing your targets well from the jump.

You've been gone for a minute so I'm pretty sure you don't know Punk from adam and from what I know you've had other shit pre occupying your mind to be doing that kind of homework on him.

I get that but that will and does make your diss tracks suffer, It makes you fall back on generic material like nameplays that I'm sure you're aware have been done a thousand times over. Like the AC's air conditioner line. Or Mani Fresh lines. Especially when you've been away from battling/this site for so long.

If you don't have personal dirt to flip, don't have time to dig for it and have not battled for a long time. This is the result.

You probably woulda been better off putting ya Punk beef to 1 side and made a regular track instead because even though you haven't been battling, at least you've still been making music.

It woulda been more in your "comfort zone"


Or

You probably shoulda stuck more to the drake angle and kept it focused all while clowning what little you know about him. You coulda come up with a ton of angles to poke holes in that side of his character

THE HOOK.

This leads onto quantity, because your verses were so short and abrupt it made a hook made for small doses lose it's charm and start to grate. I know the verses were longer but it felt like you spent as much time spitting ya hook as you did the verses because they were so short. Thats great for a regular track but diss tracks are all about the verses. So in a way the hook worked against you when you take into account you had so little room to get into your stride on your verses. They never picked up momentum.

Disses are supposed to leave the listener thinking oh shit this guys really putting him on blast. To do that the verse needs to get out of first gear and gradually reach 4 and 5th. yours never got out of first.

Also going after Jack was a bad idea. especially when you had such little room to breath with the verses.


^ I guess that covers quantity too.

Delivery

It was up and down. Now I don't know if that's a mixing thing or not because it's not your flow, it's your pronunciation. It could be part mixing and part writing or just all the latter because not structuring your bars correctly can force you to mispronounce the words or slur them. which is the main problem here.

It's like 80 or 90% of the delivery is fine. But then you'd get parts of that 10 20% where you slur or it was slightly off pace and it was always at the key parts. Like when you're trying to make a play on words or right at the end of the bar after a cleanly pronounced previous bar. It kills the impact because it's hard to make out exactly what it is your saying.

I'm pretty sure you're aware of this though tbh

Mixing

Again I'm not really bothered other than if it's maybe having an effect on how your delivery comes across. Which I've already mentioned. But other than that 20% and maybe having a negative effect on the hook the mixing was straight on the verses.



Drop Punks soon and my vote

[Babylon]

Track battle with two topical verses. K then

[Babylon]

Track battle with two topical verses. K then

[J u s T C]

Originally Posted by Crysis

Track battle with two topical verses. K then

I'm not excusing Rule. I'm pretty sure he's aware that he coulda have been more focused on setting the ground rules for the tracks but as far as I'm aware you're not even taking part in this.

You really gonna sideline and take pot shots at him?

You know you can always organize your own tourney.

He might not have gone about it 100% the right way but at least he's making the effort and giving you guys something to do.

Or maybe I just read wrong?

[J u s T C]

Originally Posted by Crysis

Track battle with two topical verses. K then

I'm not excusing Rule. I'm pretty sure he's aware that he coulda have been more focused on setting the ground rules for the tracks but as far as I'm aware you're not even taking part in this.

You really gonna sideline and take pot shots at him?

You know you can always organize your own tourney.

He might not have gone about it 100% the right way but at least he's making the effort and giving you guys something to do.

Or maybe I just read wrong?

[RULE]

The content, style or format of the song is completely the emcee's choice. It doesnt HAVE to be a diss track, and the judges will be voting on the best song, regardless of which style or concept is used.

first post.

1/

[RULE]

The content, style or format of the song is completely the emcee's choice. It doesnt HAVE to be a diss track, and the judges will be voting on the best song, regardless of which style or concept is used.

first post.

1/

[NatsHubby]

that was a dope breakdown

crysis trying to be relevant,nothing else.

[NatsHubby]

that was a dope breakdown

crysis trying to be relevant,nothing else.