Teek vs. Dono

[Teek]

Teek vs. Dono


House rules apply, contact me with any questions.

The line limit for this topical battle is 40-60 lines. (Any adjustments must be decided upon by both participants and confirmed by Teek within 24 hours).


Topic: Destructive Ignorance
(40-60 Lines)

(Contestants have 24 hours to contact me via this thread if they agree this image should be replaced, you will only get one chance. )

Check in By: September 1st 12 A.M.

Left Sends To Right By: September 11th 12 A.M
Right Must Reply By: September 12th 2013 12 A.M

First to 5 or 3-0 K.O.

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

[Teek]

Teek vs. Dono


House rules apply, contact me with any questions.

The line limit for this topical battle is 40-60 lines. (Any adjustments must be decided upon by both participants and confirmed by Teek within 24 hours).


Topic: Destructive Ignorance
(40-60 Lines)

(Contestants have 24 hours to contact me via this thread if they agree this image should be replaced, you will only get one chance. )

Check in By: September 1st 12 A.M.

Left Sends To Right By: September 11th 12 A.M
Right Must Reply By: September 12th 2013 12 A.M

First to 5 or 3-0 K.O.

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

[Teek]

@Dono don't bitch, this is my first attempt at a topical on here.

"La Julianas Vidas Requiem" (56 lines)

She called herself a dancer once, I'd asked to see her play,
That mirthful look, warned dangerous, but laughed it off, with grace,
So quick to see, her starving needs, I offered her a bite,
of little cheese, and jarred chip beef, kept waiting for the night,
And in that moment, destiny, began to dip it's pen,
To draw this lonesome friend to me, until she met her end,
An ending now? You surely jest, it cannot start, such so,
This friendly vow, I surely pledge, is not meant of woe,
For passing's just finality, her story is of life,
Like slashing, dust winds, gashing me, I'm sorry for these writes,
From broken home, and poverty, and out onto the streets,
She woke alone, her offering, just someone's dirty sheets,
So lot was cast, she held her own, as other's did so her,
This would last, throughout the town, a turn for other turn,
Until one day she passed a step, and caught me doubled, slouched,
Wit unphazed, n fast to help, her hand upon my crown,
And there we stayed, ill I awoke, from monkeys on my back,
Till half in daze, I broke with name, mind churning from the crank,
I let loose that I'm Dante, and this step was mine,
Connected to apartment, that I frequent late at night,
She said her name was Julia, I claimed her for my Sun,
and laid the game, a true diva, this maiden on the run,
This lass displayed her girlish ways, with hair held back in tow,
With eyes tint grey, her earnest gaze, she melted blackest souls,
Like a deep, kept secret, there's no whisper of a frame,
And though almost half conceited, she had lived up beauty's name,
This became occourance, and once became routine,
Switch Brief up to Amore, and we renamed us team,
That's when my chasing demons, began to eye her veins,
I whispered that it's nothing, and it often fights the pain,
Cooking time with Julia, shot up to number one,
No stage fright in this studio, we're both just plunger numb,
When one becomes an addict, it's not a pretty sight,
Train scenes of a track hit, toughin DT's when ya tight,
I watched crack baby basketball, they don't play rock like this,
One cache of barely last at all, it's no foul, blocking fists,
It's grubby going hungry, but it's starve or getting fixed,
When caging for a piece of meat,there's somethings got to give,
And then popped up a lightbulb, when the electric had run out,
That Jules could pull her night jobs, so the kitchen won't turn south,
A little bit of favors, for a little wasted time,
Passed around the neighborhood, while I raked in dimes,
Business sturdy peeling, with pockets bout to break,
She caught a dirty needle, in a vein that wouldn't take,
In set an infection, and the spot began to sick,
too late was our reaction, and our reason not too quick,
We made it to the hospital, I saw her cleaned this last,
But hearing of her toxicol.,She's leaving too damn fast,
Science couldn't save her, and Jules was gone for good,
Dying was her savior, since I didn't, when I could
Through these years of tearful screams, and beating of my chest,
I pray for her forgiveness, and to live life for amends,
On that hour daily, like the ticking of a clock,
I pace her space, most saintly, on the taking of my walk,
And recap in rememberance, the dancer of my life,
Who stages worlds with elegance, in alerbaster white.

[Teek]

@Dono don't bitch, this is my first attempt at a topical on here.

"La Julianas Vidas Requiem" (56 lines)

She called herself a dancer once, I'd asked to see her play,
That mirthful look, warned dangerous, but laughed it off, with grace,
So quick to see, her starving needs, I offered her a bite,
of little cheese, and jarred chip beef, kept waiting for the night,
And in that moment, destiny, began to dip it's pen,
To draw this lonesome friend to me, until she met her end,
An ending now? You surely jest, it cannot start, such so,
This friendly vow, I surely pledge, is not meant of woe,
For passing's just finality, her story is of life,
Like slashing, dust winds, gashing me, I'm sorry for these writes,
From broken home, and poverty, and out onto the streets,
She woke alone, her offering, just someone's dirty sheets,
So lot was cast, she held her own, as other's did so her,
This would last, throughout the town, a turn for other turn,
Until one day she passed a step, and caught me doubled, slouched,
Wit unphazed, n fast to help, her hand upon my crown,
And there we stayed, ill I awoke, from monkeys on my back,
Till half in daze, I broke with name, mind churning from the crank,
I let loose that I'm Dante, and this step was mine,
Connected to apartment, that I frequent late at night,
She said her name was Julia, I claimed her for my Sun,
and laid the game, a true diva, this maiden on the run,
This lass displayed her girlish ways, with hair held back in tow,
With eyes tint grey, her earnest gaze, she melted blackest souls,
Like a deep, kept secret, there's no whisper of a frame,
And though almost half conceited, she had lived up beauty's name,
This became occourance, and once became routine,
Switch Brief up to Amore, and we renamed us team,
That's when my chasing demons, began to eye her veins,
I whispered that it's nothing, and it often fights the pain,
Cooking time with Julia, shot up to number one,
No stage fright in this studio, we're both just plunger numb,
When one becomes an addict, it's not a pretty sight,
Train scenes of a track hit, toughin DT's when ya tight,
I watched crack baby basketball, they don't play rock like this,
One cache of barely last at all, it's no foul, blocking fists,
It's grubby going hungry, but it's starve or getting fixed,
When caging for a piece of meat,there's somethings got to give,
And then popped up a lightbulb, when the electric had run out,
That Jules could pull her night jobs, so the kitchen won't turn south,
A little bit of favors, for a little wasted time,
Passed around the neighborhood, while I raked in dimes,
Business sturdy peeling, with pockets bout to break,
She caught a dirty needle, in a vein that wouldn't take,
In set an infection, and the spot began to sick,
too late was our reaction, and our reason not too quick,
We made it to the hospital, I saw her cleaned this last,
But hearing of her toxicol.,She's leaving too damn fast,
Science couldn't save her, and Jules was gone for good,
Dying was her savior, since I didn't, when I could
Through these years of tearful screams, and beating of my chest,
I pray for her forgiveness, and to live life for amends,
On that hour daily, like the ticking of a clock,
I pace her space, most saintly, on the taking of my walk,
And recap in rememberance, the dancer of my life,
Who stages worlds with elegance, in alerbaster white.

[Dono]

Forgot to even check.

[Dono]

Forgot to even check.