some poetry to critise

[Unfaithful_Mind]

been bored latley, thought id try my hand at it...


it was all because of u, the apple of my eye
the 1 who cleared this torn and stormy sky
so i could not understand the 1 reason why -
above all overs, u chose such a regular guy

u taught me lesson that i, will never 4 get
it was 4 these life lesson i am forever in ure debt
i was so grateful it was me u had chose
every lesson dropped as if it was a petal from a rose
so powerful, 1 strikin pose could eliminate my inner foes
but.. wen the rose is dry it will surley wither and die
i believe this is also why it may have came to u and i

as i am not sure if i will hear ure calming tone again
due 2 the fact u may think im like them - all other men
i feel my only voice exists within the form of this pen
due 2 the fact your symphony will never bless my ears again

[Unfaithful_Mind]

been bored latley, thought id try my hand at it...


it was all because of u, the apple of my eye
the 1 who cleared this torn and stormy sky
so i could not understand the 1 reason why -
above all overs, u chose such a regular guy

u taught me lesson that i, will never 4 get
it was 4 these life lesson i am forever in ure debt
i was so grateful it was me u had chose
every lesson dropped as if it was a petal from a rose
so powerful, 1 strikin pose could eliminate my inner foes
but.. wen the rose is dry it will surley wither and die
i believe this is also why it may have came to u and i

as i am not sure if i will hear ure calming tone again
due 2 the fact u may think im like them - all other men
i feel my only voice exists within the form of this pen
due 2 the fact your symphony will never bless my ears again