RULE's 2 Bar Analysis

[RULE]

That mah fucka guts got me active for a minute, so this is how this goes.

Post 4 lines of a text verse you've written and i'll give you some feedback on it.

1/

[RULE]

That mah fucka guts got me active for a minute, so this is how this goes.

Post 4 lines of a text verse you've written and i'll give you some feedback on it.

1/

[KG The Prince]

Had to tell you a few times that your WORDING'S QUITE ATROCIOUS, them scripts wouldn't be magical w/ MERLIN'S TYPE OF FOCUS! / Guided dude, he told me 'quit the horseplay' then I saw the WORST DESIGNS APPROACHING cos I said 'into the belly of the beast' & he couldn't WORK IT LIKE A TROJAN!

@RULE do your magic

[KG The Prince]

Had to tell you a few times that your WORDING'S QUITE ATROCIOUS, them scripts wouldn't be magical w/ MERLIN'S TYPE OF FOCUS! / Guided dude, he told me 'quit the horseplay' then I saw the WORST DESIGNS APPROACHING cos I said 'into the belly of the beast' & he couldn't WORK IT LIKE A TROJAN!

@RULE do your magic

Dys is just like his dad. His L's (his cells) are multiPLYING A LOT. Saw the sick old man kicking a vending machine IRONIC, I THOUGHT it DENIED HIM A POP. I yelled "please stop kicking the cans, sir", he fuckin DIED ON THE SPOT!

Background: just before this battle dysfunctional revealed to me that his dad had cancer. It was a low blow but bars y'know.

Dys is just like his dad. His L's (his cells) are multiPLYING A LOT. Saw the sick old man kicking a vending machine IRONIC, I THOUGHT it DENIED HIM A POP. I yelled "please stop kicking the cans, sir", he fuckin DIED ON THE SPOT!

Background: just before this battle dysfunctional revealed to me that his dad had cancer. It was a low blow but bars y'know.

[RULE]

Originally Posted by Aggo

Dys is just like his dad. His L's (his cells) are multiPLYING A LOT. Saw the sick old man kicking a vending machine IRONIC, I THOUGHT it DENIED HIM A POP. I yelled "please stop kicking the cans, sir", he fuckin DIED ON THE SPOT!

Background: just before this battle dysfunctional revealed to me that his dad had cancer. It was a low blow but bars y'know.

Dys is just like his dad. His L's (his cells) are multiPLYING A LOT.

In my accent (or any i put on to try and make this work) i cannot find the SELL sound needed for the wordplay to work. Only sounds like: His Els. So straight away the bars in trouble.

Saw the sick old man kicking a vending machine IRONIC, I THOUGHT it DENIED HIM A POP. I yelled "please stop kicking the cans, sir", he fuckin DIED ON THE SPOT!

This is a perfect mix of a played concept, played wordplay, but good execution. Even though ive heard a million cancer / can sir wordplays the execution was very funny. The bar is very wordy so be aware of that in future. The humour is what pulle dthis off. Honestly this shouldnt of worked but props lol.

---------- Post added at 10:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Seul

An I laugh AT YOUR ABILITY 'cause anything "You Spell Out" ain't "CASTIN NO WIZARDRY"! I got straps for any CAT WHO BELITTLES ME, it's a FACT, YOU'LL BE HISTORY when I "Stand Tall & Wave The Heat" like the "STATUE OF LIBERTY"!!

- This one's from an audio battle, but oh well it translates over to text decently enough.

An I laugh AT YOUR ABILITY 'cause anything "You Spell Out" ain't "CASTIN NO WIZARDRY"! I got straps for any CAT WHO BELITTLES ME, it's a FACT, YOU'LL BE HISTORY when I "Stand Tall & Wave The Heat" like the "STATUE OF LIBERTY"!!

You can tell this is an audio bar cuz the flow is slick but is a bit fillerish for a text bar.

An I laugh AT YOUR ABILITY 'cause anything "You Spell Out" ain't "CASTIN NO WIZARDRY"!

an ok start, not sure it adds anything other than the fact that it rhymes.

I got straps for any CAT WHO BELITTLES ME, it's a FACT, YOU'LL BE HISTORY

Same feed as previous line, even though the flow if nice to me its just filler that could of been used for another punch.

when I "Stand Tall & Wave The Heat" like the "STATUE OF LIBERTY"!!

decent punch. but only decent. techincally the statue doesnt wave but i can let that slide. To me its more of a filler punch than a proper punch.

[RULE]

Originally Posted by Aggo

Dys is just like his dad. His L's (his cells) are multiPLYING A LOT. Saw the sick old man kicking a vending machine IRONIC, I THOUGHT it DENIED HIM A POP. I yelled "please stop kicking the cans, sir", he fuckin DIED ON THE SPOT!

Background: just before this battle dysfunctional revealed to me that his dad had cancer. It was a low blow but bars y'know.

Dys is just like his dad. His L's (his cells) are multiPLYING A LOT.

In my accent (or any i put on to try and make this work) i cannot find the SELL sound needed for the wordplay to work. Only sounds like: His Els. So straight away the bars in trouble.

Saw the sick old man kicking a vending machine IRONIC, I THOUGHT it DENIED HIM A POP. I yelled "please stop kicking the cans, sir", he fuckin DIED ON THE SPOT!

This is a perfect mix of a played concept, played wordplay, but good execution. Even though ive heard a million cancer / can sir wordplays the execution was very funny. The bar is very wordy so be aware of that in future. The humour is what pulle dthis off. Honestly this shouldnt of worked but props lol.

---------- Post added at 10:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:29 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Seul

An I laugh AT YOUR ABILITY 'cause anything "You Spell Out" ain't "CASTIN NO WIZARDRY"! I got straps for any CAT WHO BELITTLES ME, it's a FACT, YOU'LL BE HISTORY when I "Stand Tall & Wave The Heat" like the "STATUE OF LIBERTY"!!

- This one's from an audio battle, but oh well it translates over to text decently enough.

An I laugh AT YOUR ABILITY 'cause anything "You Spell Out" ain't "CASTIN NO WIZARDRY"! I got straps for any CAT WHO BELITTLES ME, it's a FACT, YOU'LL BE HISTORY when I "Stand Tall & Wave The Heat" like the "STATUE OF LIBERTY"!!

You can tell this is an audio bar cuz the flow is slick but is a bit fillerish for a text bar.

An I laugh AT YOUR ABILITY 'cause anything "You Spell Out" ain't "CASTIN NO WIZARDRY"!

an ok start, not sure it adds anything other than the fact that it rhymes.

I got straps for any CAT WHO BELITTLES ME, it's a FACT, YOU'LL BE HISTORY

Same feed as previous line, even though the flow if nice to me its just filler that could of been used for another punch.

when I "Stand Tall & Wave The Heat" like the "STATUE OF LIBERTY"!!

decent punch. but only decent. techincally the statue doesnt wave but i can let that slide. To me its more of a filler punch than a proper punch.

[Seul]

Originally Posted by RULE

You can tell this is an audio bar cuz the flow is slick but is a bit fillerish for a text bar.

decent punch. but only decent. techincally the statue doesnt wave but i can let that slide. To me its more of a filler punch than a proper punch.

I can agree with this, thanks for your input.

[Seul]

Originally Posted by RULE

You can tell this is an audio bar cuz the flow is slick but is a bit fillerish for a text bar.

decent punch. but only decent. techincally the statue doesnt wave but i can let that slide. To me its more of a filler punch than a proper punch.

I can agree with this, thanks for your input.

[RULE]

Originally Posted by Seul

I can agree with this, thanks for your input.

No problem. The fact that it is an audio bar makes a big difference though. Flow is more valuable to an audio, so its not really a fair comparison. But i hope the feed helps anyway.

1/

[RULE]

Originally Posted by Seul

I can agree with this, thanks for your input.

No problem. The fact that it is an audio bar makes a big difference though. Flow is more valuable to an audio, so its not really a fair comparison. But i hope the feed helps anyway.

1/

[Seul]

An I laugh AT YOUR ABILITY 'cause anything "You Spell Out" ain't "CASTIN NO WIZARDRY"! I got straps for any CAT WHO BELITTLES ME, it's a FACT, YOU'LL BE HISTORY when I "Stand Tall & Wave The Heat" like the "STATUE OF LIBERTY"!!

- This one's from an audio battle, but oh well it translates over to text decently enough.

[Seul]

An I laugh AT YOUR ABILITY 'cause anything "You Spell Out" ain't "CASTIN NO WIZARDRY"! I got straps for any CAT WHO BELITTLES ME, it's a FACT, YOU'LL BE HISTORY when I "Stand Tall & Wave The Heat" like the "STATUE OF LIBERTY"!!

- This one's from an audio battle, but oh well it translates over to text decently enough.

[RULE]

Had to tell you a few times that your WORDING'S QUITE ATROCIOUS, them scripts wouldn't be magical w/ MERLIN'S TYPE OF FOCUS!

Multi set was smooth, the actual line is a bit weird tho. You say your opponents wording is bad, then drop that odd worded second multi set. Merlins type of focus? Passable i guess but if you aiming for top tier this wording needs to be straight.

/ Guided dude, he told me 'quit the horseplay' then I saw the WORST DESIGNS APPROACHING cos I said 'into the belly of the beast' & he couldn't WORK IT LIKE A TROJAN!

Similar to the previous bar the wording is a bit unnatural. the non-capped build is very longer and wordy to me too, feels like you stretched the build to include the horse-play reference. Could of been cleaner and shorter. The concept it good, but the execution wasnt strong. I think the punch could of been better. Work it like a trojan. Many more creative / impactful ways to land the punch.

[RULE]

Had to tell you a few times that your WORDING'S QUITE ATROCIOUS, them scripts wouldn't be magical w/ MERLIN'S TYPE OF FOCUS!

Multi set was smooth, the actual line is a bit weird tho. You say your opponents wording is bad, then drop that odd worded second multi set. Merlins type of focus? Passable i guess but if you aiming for top tier this wording needs to be straight.

/ Guided dude, he told me 'quit the horseplay' then I saw the WORST DESIGNS APPROACHING cos I said 'into the belly of the beast' & he couldn't WORK IT LIKE A TROJAN!

Similar to the previous bar the wording is a bit unnatural. the non-capped build is very longer and wordy to me too, feels like you stretched the build to include the horse-play reference. Could of been cleaner and shorter. The concept it good, but the execution wasnt strong. I think the punch could of been better. Work it like a trojan. Many more creative / impactful ways to land the punch.

[KG The Prince]

Originally Posted by RULE

Had to tell you a few times that your WORDING'S QUITE ATROCIOUS, them scripts wouldn't be magical w/ MERLIN'S TYPE OF FOCUS!

Multi set was smooth, the actual line is a bit weird tho. You say your opponents wording is bad, then drop that odd worded second multi set. Merlins type of focus? Passable i guess but if you aiming for top tier this wording needs to be straight.

/ Guided dude, he told me 'quit the horseplay' then I saw the WORST DESIGNS APPROACHING cos I said 'into the belly of the beast' & he couldn't WORK IT LIKE A TROJAN!

Similar to the previous bar the wording is a bit unnatural. the non-capped build is very longer and wordy to me too, feels like you stretched the build to include the horse-play reference. Could of been cleaner and shorter. The concept it good, but the execution wasnt strong. I think the punch could of been better. Work it like a trojan. Many more creative / impactful ways to land the punch.

Thanks for the feed bro

[KG The Prince]

Originally Posted by RULE

Had to tell you a few times that your WORDING'S QUITE ATROCIOUS, them scripts wouldn't be magical w/ MERLIN'S TYPE OF FOCUS!

Multi set was smooth, the actual line is a bit weird tho. You say your opponents wording is bad, then drop that odd worded second multi set. Merlins type of focus? Passable i guess but if you aiming for top tier this wording needs to be straight.

/ Guided dude, he told me 'quit the horseplay' then I saw the WORST DESIGNS APPROACHING cos I said 'into the belly of the beast' & he couldn't WORK IT LIKE A TROJAN!

Similar to the previous bar the wording is a bit unnatural. the non-capped build is very longer and wordy to me too, feels like you stretched the build to include the horse-play reference. Could of been cleaner and shorter. The concept it good, but the execution wasnt strong. I think the punch could of been better. Work it like a trojan. Many more creative / impactful ways to land the punch.

Thanks for the feed bro

just curious,


We thought he’d turn down this callout, run aWAY N RETIRE ‘Now He Gon Get This Work, Thank God’ as if he PRAYED TA GET HIRED! 6 defenses with no ‘Burn Out’; think youre TAKIN IT HIGHER? watch ya old-puns-fa-Row ‘Go Up In Smoke’ coz now youre ‘PLAYING WIT FIRE’!

background : called rai out for lbt title

just curious,


We thought he’d turn down this callout, run aWAY N RETIRE ‘Now He Gon Get This Work, Thank God’ as if he PRAYED TA GET HIRED! 6 defenses with no ‘Burn Out’; think youre TAKIN IT HIGHER? watch ya old-puns-fa-Row ‘Go Up In Smoke’ coz now youre ‘PLAYING WIT FIRE’!

background : called rai out for lbt title