Can someone please leave criticism on bars

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=436751

8 bars, can someone tell me what I'm doin wrong

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=436751

8 bars, can someone tell me what I'm doin wrong

[Erupt da Monsta]

Everything yo, everything... u need a whole body makover, just cus u look like a fucking sausage, doest mean u can come on lets beef and bless us with ur dick shaped structure.

[Erupt da Monsta]

Everything yo, everything... u need a whole body makover, just cus u look like a fucking sausage, doest mean u can come on lets beef and bless us with ur dick shaped structure.

[Just C]

"I knew dis wack was gonna SEND POTTY LINES, Claiming me n my mom overweight n BINGE? GOD HE LIES!! Cuz her and 'I in shape' like illuMINATI SIGNS!!(eye in triangle)"

No No Wording:

"Dis Wack" "Potty lines"

Plus it doesn't really diss anyone. All it does is say you n your moms healthy making it more of a Rebuttle type bar which given it's an open, doesn't really work. I mean the WP is there but it's not really a diss. Plus the wording for the Wordplay is to cave manish for the Illuminati double meaning plus the use of the word "shape" to reference the Triangle is too vauge.

That's all I'm breaking down. Somebody else can critic the rest.

[Just C]

"I knew dis wack was gonna SEND POTTY LINES, Claiming me n my mom overweight n BINGE? GOD HE LIES!! Cuz her and 'I in shape' like illuMINATI SIGNS!!(eye in triangle)"

No No Wording:

"Dis Wack" "Potty lines"

Plus it doesn't really diss anyone. All it does is say you n your moms healthy making it more of a Rebuttle type bar which given it's an open, doesn't really work. I mean the WP is there but it's not really a diss. Plus the wording for the Wordplay is to cave manish for the Illuminati double meaning plus the use of the word "shape" to reference the Triangle is too vauge.

That's all I'm breaking down. Somebody else can critic the rest.

Thx just c

Thx just c