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Status:
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Entries: 6 (Private: )
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Comments: 19
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Start Date: 10-21-2008
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Last Update: 02-08-2009
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Views: 394
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Description: A Poem For My Grandma-R.I.P
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| ON JUDGEMENT DAY |
Now Playing:  2pac: So Many Tears |
Date Posted: 02-08-2009 at 10:43 PM - Comments (0) |
| Shiit, On Judgement Day I see my self in the sky Rollin' up on cloud nine With a smile Dressed in all white But can ya tell me is that just a fantasy? I actually do believe Heaven is my destiny Even though I've done so much wrong than I have right I've tried to pick my self up so I see that piercing light But if I ever happen to fall victim to the streets or another eerily master planned fatality Mom remember me I was once a problem child Born in the house of game Livin' through twists in the membrane I swear I felt like goin' insane Even words of comfort from close classmates Couldn't soothe the sharpening pain Sometimes I felt like committin' suicide See my hearse, tombstone and all The final resting place when I die But then I re thought the situation Put in my concentration and reversed to a whole 'nother destination But still I come to be at fault for livin' a double life full of sex, money, drugs and bigger scand-als I don't know if my recognition is really in heaven's golden arches Tell me what is my real predictions? Is my dreams clearin' trynna tell me somethin? I don't know what it could be Hopefully it's a life savin' nothin I've robbed so many people and shunned all the good friends Dress in all black run the streets until my life ends and te ironic part is that I'm only 16 live one life that is clean and the 2nd in a ghetto theme I understand I have to pay the consequences but if I get instant admission into the golden gateways than trust I'll start to envision Better days, kids laughin in the sun rays Chillin' in the shade fly BBQ's drinkin' lemonade Sunshine for hours and never once goin' tired No more cries and heart ache all our pains have suddenly expired But right now I feel so damaged I've got dirty hands their covered in sin They can't be salvaged I guess I'll have to keep tryin' my best To clean my life up for good But how much cleaner can a life get? I ask my self that sometimes but never reach an answer Will I be smoke addicted or die from breast cancer? Will I face God or the devil Will I be labeled as a half pardoned angel or a black hearted rebel? I don't know I guess I'll just continue to hustle my life away And wait faithfully *ON JUDGEMENT DAY* |
| 'Til The End Of Time |
Now Playing: 2pac:Changes |
Date Posted: 01-03-2009 at 06:16 AM - Comments (1) |
| I'm the chosen one travellin' thru life Through the many twists and turns learnin' what's wrong and right Goin' thru changes now that I'm gettin' older Wantin' more freedom See the rebellion Weight's off my shoulders Experienced my first love but then he did me wrong Another abuser leavin' scars pushed me away and now he's gone Tired of the pain and tired of the hurt Tired of childish niggaz and bitches I got one word and that's FAKE Tell me dear Lord how long does it take for the youngest real woman like me to see my destiny? Not my FATE Evil muthafuckaz' hearts filled with hate But I pray everynight that I pass to them Golden Gates I know my time is nearin' even though I'm just 16..I'm a clever young thing But neva to reach my dream is irrelevant My untimely death is quite Evident because all the shit that's come back to haunt me My death I'm nailin' it I can see my black casket carried in a hearse Pink and White flowers people in black tears rollin' cause they all hurt And the Grim Reaper creepin' he's ready to take my soul I'll see ya at the Crossroads like Bone Thugs it's my time to go But who's gonna give a damn? Just another young girl how can they possibly understand? No one knows my secrets my family don't hear me callin' I feel suicidal on my bedroom floor I'm fallin' The birds cawin' And when I look up I'm in the sky, it's clear blue no rain no strain I'm soarin' high On Cloud Nine dressed in all white I'm an angel I got my wings No more bein' petro into the cradle Mama wipe those tears Cause I'm doin' just fine I see my grandma with open arms I run to her and now I glide I'm in happiness but hold on let me come back to reality I'm in a fucked up world no room for me in this society No man to love me to appreciate and hug me Give me a rose on Valentine's Day cause he thinkin' of me No type of relationship I guess my entity is dead I'm a deleted human being with a visible hole blown through my head But let me look on the bright side for a minute I'm a little too far from my dream but what the hell let me get it Let me try to reach that star that I so destine to be That young intelligent rap chick Burnin' niggaz in the 3rd degree SHIT like 50 Cent I'll either get rich or die tryin' I might as well die can't go back my mind is fryin' in eternal death I'm wheezin this is my last breath..please don't take it God I need to tell them the rest I guess I can just finish high school be on the corna sellin' dope to dope fiends like I'm cool, go out and party drink and smoke my life away or move down to Compton and get capped up today Either way I know that my life wasn't meant to be I'm not gonna live past 20 might as well fuck bein' 80. No kids or grandkids shit no man who I can trust all these niggaz on the streets be makin' a female wanna bust 'em I guess I'm just gonna be another lost soul Wonderin ' the streets hidin' in shadows Hell I don't know.. I guess I can try to make the best even though I have failed to see that light I guess I'll find out my true mission and live it * 'TIL THE END OF TIME* |
| Live In The Sky |
Date Posted: 11-12-2008 at 03:44 PM - Comments (4) |
This is dedicated to my nigga Rafael Hernandez 1990-2007
Yo, we was just like family big brother to lil sister
Looked out for me Told me to look past bein a quitter All the times I felt like givin up cause things just wasn't workin out You came and stood by my side Showed me what a true friend was all about Yea we had our differences But in the end all we could do was laugh Reminisce on younger days some of the good and some of the bad When I needed someone to talk to You let me know you were there When I thought I couldn't make it You showed me that you really care It's a shame that you're gone But I know God had a reason You're in Heaven still living on without worries forever gleaming A true angel Finally you can fly Even though it hurts to know you're not here I try to hide when I cry Such a young life taken with one gun and 2 bullets But you were like an Angel here on Earth always livin life to the fullest Homies still speak about you and your daughter looks so cute Sometimes the way she talks and smiles; reminds me of you I get tickled sometimes, huh cause she always be wilin out and gets me straight up trippin sometimes Just like her daddy no doubt I lost my homie; my partner a one in a million best friend I know that I'll neva find anotha person just like you again The way we managed to stay tight thru all the trials and tribulations Is somethin once in a lifetime it calls for a celebration On ya birthday I come up and see ya Lay a rose on ya grave And smile lookin up to the sky sometimes I speak ya name I swear some days I hear your voice talkin to me Like you're right there in the room wantin to keep me company Everybody miss you I visit ya mama everyday I know it's real hard to live wit the fact that her only son is gone away But don't worry now homie It's all gonna be alright I'll see u on judgement day When the sun shines bright When the clouds seem high I'll keep my head up wit pride Watchin you standin up on a cloud ready to go on our eternal flight But for now I'mma keep it all good just for you Like you had told me to And that is so true Just *Live In The Sky* for now boo..lol,
but this is 4 my nigga tho Rafael H..died on June 27th 2007; he was at the wrong place at the wrong time I guess. And I dedicate this to his daughter; Shayla Nicole Hernandez born on October 9th 2007..Rest In Peace to Rafae..we love you, and miss you. Real talk |
| Letter 2 My Family |
Date Posted: 10-27-2008 at 08:20 PM - Comments (5) |
| Aye mom, I've been meanin' to have a talk wit chu but now it's too late..I've been caught up wit a convicted killer and have finally met my fate Since the first day we got together I've been gettin' beat down Bruises and cuts on my skin Fallin out to the ground See I don't understand what happened between me and him The fire that kept this thing alive has finally went dim It seems like after a couple of months he's been changin up on me One minute he says that he hates me; the next minute he wants to love me Can you please tell me how did I get in this situation? Did I deserve this type of treatment? And the constant days of altercations? Please help me out cause I don't know what I should do and you bein' the woman I hope ur words are true Cause it seems like no matter how hard I try to get away he always finds me One time I swear he punched me in the face so hard it almost blinded me Went out in public wit a swollen eye, see Wit his hand in my hand He was walkin' right beside me All my life I've been searchin' for a real love like that Mary J. thing we can go higher than a couple of white doves; but obviously it wasn't meant to be Got me trapped inside this house of evil until I die G. Everywhere I go he gotta be there 2..I get beat up if I stay out too late you think that is fair? shooot, He won't let me leave the crib without his permission He calls me on the phone to see exactly what I've been gettin' in But I know I'm gettin' tired of all these cut marks, signs of strangulation and havin' to lie sayin "I fell in the dark" It's gettin' really outta hand Be bringin' all these females to the house I see he's smaller than a man He tells all the hoes that he's single Knowin' good n damn well he wit me Just wants to be free and go and mingle I can't take it no more I need somebody's constant guidance to get me the man I've been searchin' for Cause this one is DEFINITELY NOT for me, I can't let this young nigga be my destiny I need a man who will love me for me; make them groupie chicks jealous their faces be dark green Not a man who wants to use his fists and his voice to make physical, and verbal hits I don't need that I'm way too young I would rather live in a cardboard box or be stranded in the slums..To sum it up will u help me get free from this man with 8 different sides, an evil personality? Cause I know if we continue on together He'll be the death of me wanna see me gone? NEVA..He's really takin' alot out of me love, physically and mentally all of my energy This man has really gotta go I deserve alot better than this let's kick his ass out the do' Show him that I deserve to be loved...not beat on everyday by his ass I don't want him back..HELL NO |
| Rather Be Ya Homie |
Date Posted: 10-21-2008 at 10:28 PM - Comments (5) |
| Listen baby boy, You know me and you go back in the days and I can understand how over this time you've been catchin' feelings as you've developed into a man We've shared some good laughs crackin' jokes and chillin' at different spots Cruisin' the streets wit our other homies Until dark in a drop top You've had my back plenty of times but still I can't get witcha IT just wouldn't feel right to know I was datin' my nigga I ain't sayin' nothin' is wrong wit you cause trust me baby you look good But I'd rather we just stay down like we have been makin' things hot down in the hood You've been trynna holla at me babe But I can't even get that close I like viewin' you as a friend that's why I've kept you around the most You tell me all these lovin' feelings that you've been havin' inside for me And say how we can be a modern day Bonnie and Clyde makin' major history At first I thought about it But decided that's not the way I wanna go Even though you make me feel good in bad times My love for you like that just cain't grow But don't mistake me boo I tried to be in love with you but didn't feel the same chemistry The one you say you feel everytime you kick it wit me You gonna be my homeboy foreva but that's as far as we're gonna take it That's as close as we'll stay and yes I had to come out and say it Cause I heard how you be braggin' to ya boys sayin' that I'm ya girl and we gonna do all these things Even though you know you're frontin' and trynna bring to life an unreal dream Let's just keep it basic No need for those lovin' faces we can still chill and be tight But we can never go to datin' I still will have ya back and be there when you get lonely But I can't be ya gurl babe I'd *Rather Be Ya Homie* |
| Pt. I: That Tragic Day |
Date Posted: 10-21-2008 at 10:07 PM - Comments (4) |
Man, I ain't spoke a word since the day you died Lost most of my zest for life and stayed mysterious to the public eye Been havin' many set backs and non workin' relationships Friends turnin' to foes Not doin' good wit problems I've been trynna deal with Now I stick to writin' rhymes I say fuck all the education the family's been torn apart so I predict not makin' it to graduation Momma been fussin' cause all the bills have been runnin' up When I hear her late nights I wish you were here to just surround me wit love I know alotta people looked down on you cause you were in your golden years Thought you was dumb when you was strong now you're gone and it's brought so many tears un erasable Irreplaceable you're a one in a million Outsiders constantly trynna cheer me up But don't know just how I'm feelin' It seems so unreal that you've been gone already 2 yrs. Seems like just yesterday you was here smilin' encouragin' me in my career The day we found you layin' there just didn't seem real it took a while to hit home I wanted to be left alone but still All these haters who wanted to talk trash constantly speak foul words usin' ya name But you made things work in this life The impact you left on me will never change You gave birth to my mother whose strugglin' but takin' care of her kids And she gave birth to 5 of us Make more ways than our fathers did You taught us things when we were younger looked after us when moms was at work Read to us and taught us how to write your death has made my heart internally hurt Brave woman, wise woman, stood up for your beliefs Brought sunshine to cloudy days Charmed people with your words and your personality We all miss you and I can't wait until I see your face again My biggest positive influence I'll keep your memory alive until the end So rest in peace to my sweet but deceased grandmother I see you lookin' down But Imma let you go so you can relax in Paradise cause you got your golden wings now
R.I.P to my fallen soldiers; My Uncle Larry 1952-1963, My cousin Dominique 1990-1992, My Uncle Tom 1957-2004, and my grandma Callie M. Jones 1929-2006..I love y'all relax now.. |
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