Try To Do More Private Battles.
You Can Come Up With Really Decent Punches Once You Put Your Mind To It; Plus You Learn Much More Valuable Stuff Along The Way.
Dropping Opens Is Cool But You Learn Things At A Much Slower Rate.

I'll Snipe You Until You Beat Me.

Dawg! Lol

Similar In Your Opener:
against dope cats ya LAME BARZ'LL PERISH FIRST!! Ya rhymes? Stinky like dat HEY ARNOLD CHARACTER!!

The Punch Is Aight But The First Multie Would Have Looked Much Less Forced If It Would Have Gone Perfectly With "HEY ARNOLD CHARACTER".
So Either Put A Punch In The First Part And Have A Weaker Setup Multie Or Have No Punch And Have A Perfect Rhyming Multie. Ideally Both In One Would Be Best But All In Due Time.

Good Progress Though And I'll Be Lurking Over Your Battles Like A Creep

Another Thing:

It's Punches Over Multies For You Not The Other Way Around. We Know You Can Sorta Rhyme But If You Make Stupid Filler Your Ending Punch And Then Use Your Next Line To Explain The Punch You Should've Explained In The First Line That Shits Double Bad. So Your Structure Sucks.

But Im not sayin "ALL ANGELS DESERVE TO DIE".. Im sayin u NOT FATAL N JERK U LIE!! Dat's a "System of a Down" or just SHOTS FIRED!!

You Can Trick A Noob Into Thinking Thats Cool But Its A Low Vote Magnet For Vet Voters.

The Exclamation Mark Suggests An Ending Punch. If You Had Left It Out It Wouldve Been Slightly Better But Still Not Good Enough. The Structure Wouldve Been Much More Polished If "ALL ANGELS DESERVE TO DIE" Would Have Rhymed With "SHOTS FIRED" As You Finished Your Explanation With That Multie.

You Can Go Nuts In A 16 Or 32 But 8 Bars Are Too Short To Make Effective Punches With A Scheme Around One Topic Unless You're An Experienced Battler.

Thnx 4 da tips n pointers
I never realized that it did I figured the more u schemed on one particular topic, the better

Btw,
Don't Scheme Your Whole Verses; It Makes Your Punches Weaker. Your First Ever Battle Was Very Good Compared To Your Other Battles Where You Try Scheming All The Way Through.

I Just Do it For Fun But I Have Been Battling For A Long Time.

Thanks g. I think Lockhart hit it right on the head w his vote except when he commented on me explaining my entire verse when I did not. You won the battle, but I put up a good fight.

Good Concepts.
Punches Like Contact Eye McGuyver Are Lost On Most Of LB As They’re Too Dumb To Get Them.

Just As No One Saw That I Rebuttled Nearly Your Whole Verse.

Shit You Gotta Live With Here