CONCEPT: Amish Rap Battle Bars

EXPO:

1. "Plain-clothes" = Plainclothes police officer, i.e., one who isn't wearing a uniform so people won't know they're a cop.

2. Amish people (surprisingly) are allowed to use batteries, and frequently get them from Mennonites, which are similar to the Amish but don't have the same prohibitions about electricity.

3. Polls / Poles... this shoulda been obvious.

4. If you know what Amish people are, then you shouldn't need any more of an expo. If you don't know what Amish people are, Google it lmfao

EXPO:

1. The Amish refrain from using electricity or other modern commodities. Hence, they wouldn't have powerbills.

2.  The Amish pride themselves in hard work.

3.  I've always heard a joke sticking an appendage in a horse's ass makes you an "Amish Mechanic" since they still use horse and buggies and not commercial motor vehicles.

4.  The Amish believe that having your picture taken steals your soul.

5. The Amish are ever-popular for raising barns.

Good luck, Brodan. Good battle, you had some funny shit.

BD TOOK A REAL FUNNY APPROACH HERE, MY FAV PARTS WERE THA ''AMISH MECHANIC'' AND ''SLAPP'D W/THA SCRIPTURE - SNAPPING A PICTURE'' PART.  THA WHOLE WRITING IN OLD TEXT WAS A GOOD IDEA, BUT PERSONALLY I WOULDA USED IT FOR ONE OR TWO BARS AS IT WAS DIFFICULT TO FOLLOW AT TIMES WITH IT BEING THA WHOLE VERSE, I JUS FEEL IT TOOK A LIL AWAY FROM SOME OF THA SET-UPS AN SHIT....... SHODAN THAT ''PLAYING A CARD HAND'' WAS BOTB, I ALSO REALLY LIKED THA CLOSER.  THA ''MENNONITE'' WP JUST PASSES LOL, BUT I DID CATCH A BROKEN MULTI ''DUMP-YOU-THROUGH-IT-NOW''(5syllable) ''ONE-ROOM-SCHOOL-HOUSE''(4syllable) WHICH IS REALLY LAZY...... ALL IN ALL BOTH TOOK COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS HERE WITH THA CONCEPT, I DID PREFER ONE VERSE THO SO IM GONNA LAY THA VOTE IN THAT DIRECTION.... GOOD SHIT BY BOTH THO AN GOOD LUCK, THIS WILL BE INTERESTIN....FAIRS IN.

DUMP YOU THROUGH IT NOW = 5 SYLLABLES

ONE ROOM SCHOO WULL HOUSE = 5 SYLLABLES

NO BROKEN MULTIS HERE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

YOU AMERICANS ARE FUCKIN UP THA ENGLISH ACCENT.... SCHOOL IS ONE SYLLABLE LMFAO.

This was a tough one for me to call. Both battlers are clearly extremely talented, so massive props for delivering such quality verses on a topic like this, but since my vote's concealed anyway I'm gonna focus on all the negatives here to help you improve.

Bone Daddy, the commitment to writing an entire verse in this kind of English is commendable. If I voted for you, the effort to dive this deep into the concept and write a truly unique verse is one of the biggest reasons why. That being said, I think it definitely took away from your ability to punch. Your opening two bars were both enjoyable in the language they were written, but the actual punches were very played and incredibly basic. In fact, the second bar didn't really have a punch at all, it was just a statement. The rest of your verse picked up quite a bit though, and instead of just relying on the language you had quite a few decent and original Amish punches. The "amish mechanic" bar was maybe your best, in that there was a lot going on conveyed in reasonably simple and clear wording. That being said, I thought your closer was a bit of a let-down. "Geek" doesn't really seem like something an Amish person woud say (although having never met one I wasn't sure so I didn't hold it against you), but also the disparity in length between the two lines made the flow a bit confusing for me and the actual punch was alright but not memorable.

The pros of your verse: The language added a lot to it from a concept-tournament point of view, the multies were always clean and effective, there were some solid Amish-themed punches, and the #WhoIs't'sThyBoneDaddy made me lmao.

Cons: Conceptually inconsistent with the punches, lacked the vulgar wit you normally bring to the table, most rhymes and concepts were fairly simple.

Shodan, I was disappointed in your verse. In my opinion you are one of the cleverest writers on the site, but few of your punches here were particularly memorable. A big problem for you here was relevance to the concept. Plain clothes, traditional marriage, small schoolhouses and spades & clubs are all things Amish people have in their lives. However, none of them are distinctively Amish. Only the Mennonite batteries bar and your closer were really unique to the concept; without these bars I wouldn't have been able to guess the concept from reading your verse which isn't great in a concept battle. The Mennonite batteries line taught me something I didn't know before, and was a solid, relevant and well-executed punch. The following two bars built nicely into a well-made narrative. However, the punches got progressively less relevant to the concept. A one-room schoolhouse does kind of evoke the concept, but the clubs and spades punch was only incidentally relevant. Especially given Bone Daddy's commitment to the concept I found punches like this frankly lacklustre in that this was both a played concept and one that had almost nothing to do with being Amish. Your closer was, technically, quite a well-executed bar. The rhyme was complex and mostly clean, and the metaphor/wordplay/whatever was quite clever. Also, it was very relevant to the Amish. However, it didn't punch your opponent at all. "Make sure your lines actually attack your opponent" is one of the most basic bits of feedback we give inexperienced rookies; I can't believe I'm telling it to you. If the rest of your verse had tied into it really well maybe I could have forgiven it, but since it was essentially standalone I feel like you wasted your best material in the whole verse in a bar that didn't bring you any closer to winning.

Pros: Complex multies, every bar had some kind of punch idea, botb in the Mennonite line, wording and execution were very consistent and effective.

Cons: Didn't really feel like a concept verse, closer punched voters instead of opponent, 4/6 bars weren't distinctive to the concept, most multies weren't perfect rhymes but rather slants or assonance.

If this weren't a concept battle, I think Shodan would have been the clear winner. However, the reason for this is that Bone Daddy created a verse distinctive and unique to the concept in both its execution and its concepts, and bearing that in mind my decision came down to whether Shodan's more technically proficient verse was far enough ahead of Bone Daddy's to outweight BD's commitment to the concept.

Just HAD to jump in on this point: Shodan, school is 1 syllable. It’s pronounced skool. I’ve never heard it said like “skoo will”. Any source you can find will tell you this.

Anyway, it didn’t really matter for the verse. Both did their thing but I thought Shodan had slightly better Amish concept bars in this one. Not to mention I was very thrown off by the whole Shakespearean thing from BD. Amish people speak modern English and some subset of Dutch/German. It didn’t really fit the concept at all and it just made it harder on yourself to make a readable verse by handicapping yourself with it. But I couldn’t reward you for taking that handicap when it wasn’t relevant. Fairs in boys thanks for the read. 

Feel like Sho had a nice verse. Didnt come in strong til the 3 bar or so. Picked up steam and closed nicely. Had the botb imo..."I've got homies to assault you once the DEAD OF NIGHT HAS RISEN you'll see more "Men-in-night Batteries" than our ENERGIZER SHIPMENTS!!! (Mennonite)"...very creative, and effective. 

Bone daddy.. you came like a true amish man would have.  Only problem is you did too much work on the language and not enough on the punchlines. Very nice work though, overall. Your best bar was...

"I see thou art hothead'd but owneth not a refrig'rat'r nor electricty so thou knoweth not HOW TO CHILL! So this gent "gen'rating a buzzeth? Wouldst beest as shocking" as me receiving A POW'R BILL!"

Got a winner. Good battle 

I felt shodan was a tad more clean and precise with his punches plus was easier to follow through with the punches, Bones daddy took the old english approach and i think that really affected his delivery even tho there were some nice ideas and punches. I just have to give to the one i felt executed better. The fair is in