Alzie
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Reppin: Los Angeles, California, United States
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Lil Talent is on FIRE! 5+ wins in a row!Lil Talent
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Crew: Revival
Reppin:New Zealand
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  One Bar Tournament VII
Battles ready for vote
Alzie vs Rai
Rican vs Edgeworth
TheStudent vs g u t s

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BATTLE FEED
Racketeer vs SquammySquammy is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Squammy is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!Squammy is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!
8 Lines (4 Bars) Blind Drop
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One Bar Tournament VII
Length: 2 Lines


BURDENS (42%) Lost

Ranked -- of 142,463 This Month (#164 All Time)
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Crew: Head Hunters
Reppin: Orange, California, United States
TheStudent (58%) Won
The Class President
Ranked -- of 142,463 This Month (#258 All Time)
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Crew: Geek Squad
Reppin: Los Angeles, California, United States



BURDENS

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TheStudent
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Voting has ended for this battle (battle finished on 2019-04-15 22:27:20).

Comment:
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Student
<GLOATS>
Administrator
Creative Genius


Deadline to post: April 17th, Midnight PST

Round closes: April 19th, Midnight PST

A 1 time, 1 day extension, will be granted if needed.

Check out this thread for Tournament Details/Battles & Predictions: https://www.letsbeef.com/forums/showthread.php?t=166437

Posted on: 2019-04-15 16:18:51 Private Message Student


g u t s
<EoA>
Moderator


for me i'm going with student for having better flow, and his punch hitting a little bit harder. the setup was there for burdens but the punch feels very old and not fresh at all to me (the warriors have been the hottest team for years an we've seen these punches)

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-15 22:49:53 Private Message g u t s


Edgeworth
<TheHitmen>
Moderator
Rookie Champion


Going with student here but honestly I didn’t like this from either dude. Saw a lot better from both in their LBT 16. BURDENs, you used techs in conjunction with a bar about shooters/Golden State, creating one of the most played bars possible. Student, your punch was creative and fresh, but that rhyming made it harder to read. Youre rhyming 3 syllables versus BURDENS’ 7, and the 3 you use don’t match up. 

I gotta go with student for having the better, harder hitting and fresher punch, but I nearly went with BURDENs Just on the rhyming alone. Fairs. 

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 10:08:44 Private Message Edgeworth


Rieper
<TheHitmen>
Moderator
Grand Champion
Winter Text Champion
2x Concept Champion
2x Scheme Champion
Custom Beat Champion
Tag Team Champion


Lesser of two evils here. One had a smooth bar but a punchline that was telegraphed. Other had the more creative punch, but subpar rhyming. This is a tough one to vote on, but I gotta go with the better executed line. 

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 11:25:56 Private Message Rieper



 

 
 

Warrior w Techs/Text. PUNISH shit & good luck Student

Posted on: 2019-04-15 22:30:08 Private Message BURDENS


Both had good concepts. One came a bit more aggresive.

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-15 22:47:28 Private Message odious


TheStudent
<GS>
The Class President

Expo: C/See, B=Burdens, CB Radios are used by pushing a button (push-to-talk). Burd=Burdens, Burd'll/Bird will, Cuckoo Clocks are clocks where a bird pops out at the start of every hour (i.e. time's right).

Posted on: 2019-04-15 23:11:40 Private Message TheStudent


PUNISH!

Posted on: 2019-04-15 23:37:32 Private Message Saiii


Tough call here.. Im leaning this way because of flow..

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 01:35:24 Private Message Apollyon


Rican
<DRUGS>
Banned

Good battle tbh. Vote is concealed.

Posted on: 2019-04-16 03:09:52 Private Message Rican


I thought my winner's execution won them the battle here. Concepts were plenty and high-quality from both emcees, so what really separated the two bars (admittedly not by much) was the level of complexity brought in their flow and rhyming. I thought one bar's multis were enough to carry it through to victory over the other. Good battle!

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 07:38:19 Private Message Lil Talent


i feel like Burdens got this, ya a few wording issues but he had a bit harder punlines and decent multis where as student was basic, i get the cockoocuckoo line but its just not a hard punch for me. fair vote

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 13:56:04 Private Message Racketeer


Loser was good imo...but i feel like the winner had harder hitting freshee line...it was pretty nice and creative...not bad at all from the loser...good battle fella

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 15:48:28 Private Message Panorapic


..the winner took this with better multies...the other had good punches and wordplay concepts, but wasn't enough to take the win. fv, no h8!

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 16:05:16 Private Message kru:shul


Normally, when I introduce a detailed vote, I say that I'm about to break the battle down "bar-by-bar," but for a one bar tournament, that doesn't make much sense. So, I think it's time for me to pull out my trusty metaphorical magnifying glass.

BURDENS: The first things I want to point out about your verse is unnecessary content. When you're writing a verse, you always want to cut down anything that isn't worth the amount of space it takes up. In this case, the multi set "GOLDEN STATE IN A KNOWN TURF" didn't need to have the words "IN A KNOWN TURF" at the end. Having a longer multi set does make your verse look more "impressive," but only if every part of it actually contributes to the verse. Otherwise, it's like stacking a bunch of concrete blocks on top of the Empire State Building and claiming that this increased the amount of usable floor space. That's an overwrought metaphor, but do you see what I mean? I hope so. I'm saying that you have to cut the chaff. Also, I'm trying to illustrate what qualifies as chaff, so that you'll be able to eliminate it from your future verses.

Another bit of chaff in this verse was the words "with Text" in the setup. Sure, I get the wordplay Techs / Text and I see the relationship to the part about chromes bursting, but it doesn't truly enhance the verse. If the bar had already incorporated something about text, or if Golden State was widely known for being a high-tech team, or there were some other aspect of the punchline which related to text or techs, then it would be an improvement. But as it stands, you could have just said "he'd only be a Warrior if he were playing for Golden State." And that's such a trivial concept that it's barely even a punchline.

To sum it up: Complexity is not a virtue in and of itself - it's only a virtue if cutting the complexity would result in an essentially different bar.

Although the "chaff" looks nice on the surface, I always try to look at the ESSENCE of a bar. And in my eyes, you would have been better off if you'd simply said: "He wouldn't be on point and out-shoot my team, he isn't BOLD OR BRAVE, so he'd only be a Warrior if he were playing for GOLDEN STATE"

The one good thing I have to say about this verse is that I liked the setups before the first multi set, although they weren't particularly clever, in that any experienced battler could have easily come up with something similar. Overall, this gets a 4 from me.

TheStudent: The cuckoo-clock punchline is the best one that I can recall seeing from you. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the best one that you've ever dropped. So, kudos for that. It's clever, it seamlessly incorporates multiple seemingly unrelated setups, and it's almost perfectly executed from start to finish. The only qualms I have with it are the phrases "Bird'll get popped out in front" (slightly ungrammatical, but not jarringly so) and "Pop'd out in front" (understandable, but not something I would expect to hear verbatim in normal speech).

However, since votes are usually my arena for bitching about things that I don't like to see in bars, I am now going to bitch about something that I didn't like seeing in this bar. You opened with a phrase that used the sort of 2014-style execution that I eviscerated Wonderbred for using in the recent Scheme Tournament. Wordplays should work grammatically both ways, and with the entire sentence that surrounds them. "If I see B in person" is a valid grammatical construct, but "If I CB in person" might as well be a quote from an illegal immigrant at the DMV. Do not do this. In 2019, one-way-streets are dead ends.

Also, even though I know what CB radios are and that they have push-to-talk features, I suspect that many voters won't know what a CB radio is. Furthermore, almost everyone these days instantly associates push-to-talk with cell phones or microphones, and therefore might have trouble mentally "switching" their usual understanding of that term to grasp this line, which would result in a jarring reading experience.

However, the stellar quality of the second half of this bar more than makes up for those problems. Even if it had maintained the far lower quality of the first half, you probably still would have won, albeit by a narrow margin instead of a wide one. Enjoy your 7.

Final thoughts: Student wins with a much more creative and fluently executed bar. BURDENS' bar looked nearly as good at first glance, but upon further inspection, it was nowhere near the same level. Fair's in.

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 18:26:51 Private Message Shodan


Wow both dudes multis were the best I've seen in this tournament and it was from both dudes. Salute for the creativity. My winner had a little more sting to his shot but the loser was the best I've seen here no doubt about that yo

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 20:52:47 Private Message Bnas


My fair is tossed fellas

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-16 22:26:21 Private Message o EaSTeS x


nice bars from both, thought it was made close but gave it to burdens.  set up and multies were more relevant to the punch while student had a nice closing punch but i dont it was fit for what the setup was leading to

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-17 20:14:46 Private Message Alzie


X-Calibur
<APOC>
The Ambassador

That CB line shoulda been the ending shit was fiyaaa !!! Nice battle here guys but kinda one sided for me one bar was just on a step above ... dope shit ... .:X:.

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-18 19:57:25 Private Message X-Calibur


this one was alright, gb

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-19 12:00:34 Private Message ContagiousZ


Rican
<DRUGS>
Banned

Voted.

Posted on: 2019-04-19 12:17:17 Private Message Rican


Student took this that bar was fire! Nuthin more to say about it 

Burden had a nice structured bar but the punch was just ok-ish, 

good shit tho’

Voted: Yes (Hidden)
Posted on: 2019-04-20 00:42:34 Private Message Brickrepper

 

 
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