2013 GC RD.4 Dono Vs. Black Book(Dono Wins 3-0)

Dono Vs Black Book

This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship

Rules
Verses are due Sunday, January 5th 2014.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 40-50 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic

Dono Vs Black Book

This topical is part of the 2013 Topical Grand Championship

Rules
Verses are due Sunday, January 5th 2014.
Verses are to be posted in THIS thread.
There are NO EXTENSIONS.
Verses must be 40-50 lines long.
Vote deductions will happen for people going over.
Voting is 3-0 KO, 3-1 TKO or first to 5.

Topic

[Black Book]

When sheltered, I lusted for exposure.
Inside my confines, I struggled to maintain composure.
People told me of the outside world but I felt they never gave me full disclosure.
Something was out there for me, I wanted to feel its embrace.
I honed my skills, built them up, even had a plan in place.
And I succeeded - I managed to escape the dark confines.
But in my confines, I had had space and could move freely without strong binds.
Oddly in this new vast space, I had no room to move about.
I missed the freedom of the confines I used to hate, from their grew the doubt.
Is this truly what I desired? What my heart longed for?
Maybe this was just a test of faith? I must simply survive this initial on-pour.
This was the opening act, I just had to hold out for the encore.
All these people packed into a large space made the space seem small.
But I had to get used to it if I sought to see my dream sprawl.
Others from the small space had not been as lucky as me, I could redeem all.
But was I lucky? I couldn't decide - God, where were the righteous paths?
I wanted to see a sign and be able to escape this crisis fast.
I had become known and became the epicenter.
The embrace I had desired had been obtained and had left a splinter.
Everybody wanted to leave their impact; even have their breath remembered.
The embrace I thought would be loving felt more like violating.
So many hands on me - for some personal space, I thought I'd die awaiting.
I became numb to it, my self-conscious itself was hibernating.
But one day I awoke and finally burst into anger.
None of those around me were ever able to sense the danger.
I knew there was work to be done, though, so I went to labor.
All I had to is let them flock like normal, and I took to action.
I produced a gun and just a second later, the crowd was reduced to a fraction.
They never saw it coming, but it made the crowd disperse.
I went from a large space back to a small space; it made my world reverse.
I had escaped what was at first a dream then became a curse.
Nobody no longer wanted to be near me or converse.
I had my own world again - I could no longer be bothered.
Peace and quite - it was everything I could dream could ever be offered.

You see, I had escaped my small town and become a star.
The world grew to love me; I had everything I wanted, traveling afar.
I thought stardom and fame would bring the people's affection.
However, I was wrong it had only brought depression.
The paparazzi and public always in my business; I was their obsession.
Others wanted a piece of my fame or influence me to help them in some way.
But I just wanted some peace and quiet, even for just one day.
It never came, though, and I could no longer deal with the invasion of privacy.
So one day I leaked info to the paparazzi that'd lead them right to me.
They showed up to my trap, I watched from hiding quite spitefully.
I pulled out a gun and shot them all; my freedom came for that one piece.
I got convicted and locked in a cell where I could finally have some peace.
I went from a small town to international recognition to a tiny prison cell.
People warned me that it wasn't all that it seemed to be, but I didn't listen well.
But I find this loneliness heavenly, despite how most would think I sit in Hell.

[Black Book]

When sheltered, I lusted for exposure.
Inside my confines, I struggled to maintain composure.
People told me of the outside world but I felt they never gave me full disclosure.
Something was out there for me, I wanted to feel its embrace.
I honed my skills, built them up, even had a plan in place.
And I succeeded - I managed to escape the dark confines.
But in my confines, I had had space and could move freely without strong binds.
Oddly in this new vast space, I had no room to move about.
I missed the freedom of the confines I used to hate, from their grew the doubt.
Is this truly what I desired? What my heart longed for?
Maybe this was just a test of faith? I must simply survive this initial on-pour.
This was the opening act, I just had to hold out for the encore.
All these people packed into a large space made the space seem small.
But I had to get used to it if I sought to see my dream sprawl.
Others from the small space had not been as lucky as me, I could redeem all.
But was I lucky? I couldn't decide - God, where were the righteous paths?
I wanted to see a sign and be able to escape this crisis fast.
I had become known and became the epicenter.
The embrace I had desired had been obtained and had left a splinter.
Everybody wanted to leave their impact; even have their breath remembered.
The embrace I thought would be loving felt more like violating.
So many hands on me - for some personal space, I thought I'd die awaiting.
I became numb to it, my self-conscious itself was hibernating.
But one day I awoke and finally burst into anger.
None of those around me were ever able to sense the danger.
I knew there was work to be done, though, so I went to labor.
All I had to is let them flock like normal, and I took to action.
I produced a gun and just a second later, the crowd was reduced to a fraction.
They never saw it coming, but it made the crowd disperse.
I went from a large space back to a small space; it made my world reverse.
I had escaped what was at first a dream then became a curse.
Nobody no longer wanted to be near me or converse.
I had my own world again - I could no longer be bothered.
Peace and quite - it was everything I could dream could ever be offered.

You see, I had escaped my small town and become a star.
The world grew to love me; I had everything I wanted, traveling afar.
I thought stardom and fame would bring the people's affection.
However, I was wrong it had only brought depression.
The paparazzi and public always in my business; I was their obsession.
Others wanted a piece of my fame or influence me to help them in some way.
But I just wanted some peace and quiet, even for just one day.
It never came, though, and I could no longer deal with the invasion of privacy.
So one day I leaked info to the paparazzi that'd lead them right to me.
They showed up to my trap, I watched from hiding quite spitefully.
I pulled out a gun and shot them all; my freedom came for that one piece.
I got convicted and locked in a cell where I could finally have some peace.
I went from a small town to international recognition to a tiny prison cell.
People warned me that it wasn't all that it seemed to be, but I didn't listen well.
But I find this loneliness heavenly, despite how most would think I sit in Hell.

[Dono]

Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil

Lived his life on church principles, do right and be good
Always avoided the actions of animals as he should
Sheltered himself from wrongdoing, too frightened to sway
Head tight in this lane, the loving lord lighting his flame
But something inside him had been fighting for change
And he was a fool to think tonight was the same...

Hear No Evil
She said it again, sexy head to her shin, such young meat
Knew he shouldn't mess with the sin or let it begin "Fuck me!"
The words hit him like electricity as it runs free
Tried to block his ears from becoming unclean with one deed
Her skirt lay upon the floor, lifeless and empty
And normally he wouldn't even find this as tempting
But his mind kept inventing scenarios of love making
In moments the siren's call wails louder than one may think
Yet it's a one way street and a sure reason to crash
His wife's looks a thing of the past and just think of the ass
I mean, he could easily tap, slap, and be in the snatch
Finish, then have her leave in a flash, it just needs to be fast
"Why Not?" Voices rang in his head as they frequently ask
She moaned softly, well at least have a peek and then dash....

See No Evil
He slammed the door open to reveal a new scene
Fornication in full swing between two fool teens
The boy jumped, surprised and ran out, still totally nude
The girl stared in awe blushing, awkward air holding the mood
She stuttered, barely speaking in a girly whisper
"Oh....holy shit sir.....you're home so early mister....
You're supposed to be.....gone away.....on business trips....
I'm here to baby sit not sure where the mistress is
I'm sorry! Please don't tell anyone what happened, it's awful
I know you'll be upset as a man of the gospel"
He turned to look at her figure laid across the bed, weeping
Lots of leg and pretty lips to give awesome head, sweetly
He was fourty-five and not even sure she was legal
But he wanted the forbidden fruit, no purity equaled
Cupped her head up slightly with his hand, "Listen my dear
Let me set my mission as clear" Then started kissing her ear
Whispering near "Open yourself to me unselfishly,
Let me have you for the night, make you yelp and scream
Have me felt between your legs, make you melt like steam
Your face has held my dreams, take off my belt and jeans
And as long as you're not loud enough to make it heard
Tonight will be a secret, no one will ever say a word"

Speak No Evil

[Dono]

Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil

Lived his life on church principles, do right and be good
Always avoided the actions of animals as he should
Sheltered himself from wrongdoing, too frightened to sway
Head tight in this lane, the loving lord lighting his flame
But something inside him had been fighting for change
And he was a fool to think tonight was the same...

Hear No Evil
She said it again, sexy head to her shin, such young meat
Knew he shouldn't mess with the sin or let it begin "Fuck me!"
The words hit him like electricity as it runs free
Tried to block his ears from becoming unclean with one deed
Her skirt lay upon the floor, lifeless and empty
And normally he wouldn't even find this as tempting
But his mind kept inventing scenarios of love making
In moments the siren's call wails louder than one may think
Yet it's a one way street and a sure reason to crash
His wife's looks a thing of the past and just think of the ass
I mean, he could easily tap, slap, and be in the snatch
Finish, then have her leave in a flash, it just needs to be fast
"Why Not?" Voices rang in his head as they frequently ask
She moaned softly, well at least have a peek and then dash....

See No Evil
He slammed the door open to reveal a new scene
Fornication in full swing between two fool teens
The boy jumped, surprised and ran out, still totally nude
The girl stared in awe blushing, awkward air holding the mood
She stuttered, barely speaking in a girly whisper
"Oh....holy shit sir.....you're home so early mister....
You're supposed to be.....gone away.....on business trips....
I'm here to baby sit not sure where the mistress is
I'm sorry! Please don't tell anyone what happened, it's awful
I know you'll be upset as a man of the gospel"
He turned to look at her figure laid across the bed, weeping
Lots of leg and pretty lips to give awesome head, sweetly
He was fourty-five and not even sure she was legal
But he wanted the forbidden fruit, no purity equaled
Cupped her head up slightly with his hand, "Listen my dear
Let me set my mission as clear" Then started kissing her ear
Whispering near "Open yourself to me unselfishly,
Let me have you for the night, make you yelp and scream
Have me felt between your legs, make you melt like steam
Your face has held my dreams, take off my belt and jeans
And as long as you're not loud enough to make it heard
Tonight will be a secret, no one will ever say a word"

Speak No Evil

This was a completely awesome match up. One's piece I felt had a great build-up to everything he was trying to lead up to, the plot was completely incredible, and the story really kept me wanting to read more. The other's piece I felt had the same exact qualities as his counterparts did. Great story, amazing build up, and incredible readabilityfactor. One gets my vote here because even thought they were equal with storytelling, I felt one edged ithere with a slightly better flow.

My vote leans towards @Dono

This was a completely awesome match up. One's piece I felt had a great build-up to everything he was trying to lead up to, the plot was completely incredible, and the story really kept me wanting to read more. The other's piece I felt had the same exact qualities as his counterparts did. Great story, amazing build up, and incredible readabilityfactor. One gets my vote here because even thought they were equal with storytelling, I felt one edged ithere with a slightly better flow.

My vote leans towards @Dono

[Joe MuGGz]

Wow.. this was dope.. the stories in this match was sick! Both had me word clinging.. Nice structures, vocab.. everything was on point.. So that takes me to the flow.. My winner just had a extremely smooth flow.. and that edged it for me.. so..

MVGT: @Dono


Props to both..

[Joe MuGGz]

Wow.. this was dope.. the stories in this match was sick! Both had me word clinging.. Nice structures, vocab.. everything was on point.. So that takes me to the flow.. My winner just had a extremely smooth flow.. and that edged it for me.. so..

MVGT: @Dono


Props to both..

I really really enjoyed both pieces, and personally felt that both were on par with each other. Story, flow, vocab, imagery. Both are experienced writers. If I were to go in depth, I would literally just be repeating myself, it came down to the preference of story and angle. I liked Dono's approach just a little bit more.

MVGT: Dono

I really really enjoyed both pieces, and personally felt that both were on par with each other. Story, flow, vocab, imagery. Both are experienced writers. If I were to go in depth, I would literally just be repeating myself, it came down to the preference of story and angle. I liked Dono's approach just a little bit more.

MVGT: Dono

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