V.A.T. Tournament Card (ILLoKWENT vs Vivid™)

[NOBLE]

This is a V.A.T. Tournament card for @ILLoKWENT and @Vivid™. You are both being asked to vote on this battle: GRizzEAT vs AfterThought. The battle is currently open and is set to close by May 29th at 07:58 Eastern time. This will be your deadline.

RULES

If you cannot vote on this battle for whatever reason (the battler has you blocked, one of the battlers is your multi or is in a crew with your multi, etc), please let me know ASAP. You must drop your vote and expo in ONE post only. Consider the ratings you give carefully and also think about the best advice that may help the battlers improve. Remember that the longest expo doesn't necessarily mean the better. Conciseness is also a quality that the judges will look at. Once you have voted on the battle, copy and paste your comment and rating in this thread for the judges to analyze. Either left or right can vote first, but in the event of a double no-show, left (@ILLoKWENT) will be considered the loser and right (@Vivid™) will advance to the next round. This card will not close until all 3 judges have dropped their analyses. In the case of a judge no-show, the winner will be determined by the analyses of the 2 judges as well as the public poll which will be attached once BOTH contestants have dropped their votes. Good luck to you both!

JUDGES

@Askari, @RULE, @RhetoriK™

Judges are expected to drop analyses of the contestants' votes in this thread. Judges may also drop votes on the text battles used, however, judges are asked to NOT leave any expos on the text battles if both contestants have not yet voted. You may drop your expos in this thread along with your analysis of the contestants' votes.

[NOBLE]

This is a V.A.T. Tournament card for @ILLoKWENT and @Vivid™. You are both being asked to vote on this battle: GRizzEAT vs AfterThought. The battle is currently open and is set to close by May 29th at 07:58 Eastern time. This will be your deadline.

RULES

If you cannot vote on this battle for whatever reason (the battler has you blocked, one of the battlers is your multi or is in a crew with your multi, etc), please let me know ASAP. You must drop your vote and expo in ONE post only. Consider the ratings you give carefully and also think about the best advice that may help the battlers improve. Remember that the longest expo doesn't necessarily mean the better. Conciseness is also a quality that the judges will look at. Once you have voted on the battle, copy and paste your comment and rating in this thread for the judges to analyze. Either left or right can vote first, but in the event of a double no-show, left (@ILLoKWENT) will be considered the loser and right (@Vivid™) will advance to the next round. This card will not close until all 3 judges have dropped their analyses. In the case of a judge no-show, the winner will be determined by the analyses of the 2 judges as well as the public poll which will be attached once BOTH contestants have dropped their votes. Good luck to you both!

JUDGES

@Askari, @RULE, @RhetoriK™

Judges are expected to drop analyses of the contestants' votes in this thread. Judges may also drop votes on the text battles used, however, judges are asked to NOT leave any expos on the text battles if both contestants have not yet voted. You may drop your expos in this thread along with your analysis of the contestants' votes.

[AfterThought]

Goodluck to both.

[AfterThought]

Goodluck to both.

[GRizzEAT]

...Read up Boiz

[GRizzEAT]

...Read up Boiz

[ILLoKWENT]

im gonna breakdown what i thought were some of the highlights, and lowlights..ok, lets start wit grizzeat;first bar setup started out decent, first two multis in scheme were relevant, leadin up to a nice concept, to flip... next bar, nice jab wit the users reflection flip, like the accompanyin name play, wit ale, didnt care too much for the goliath, wordplay, the read felt forced imo... especially the af ah david..if you worded the concept differently, maybe if you negated tryin to make a wordplay outta goliath, and focused on the afa david,it wouldve landed harder... in this case you were tryin too much.. keep it a bit simpler, less is more.. ok the RAPPIN IT FUROCIOUS multi scheme started decent wit the moving school concept, but then started to become irrelevant filler imo.. especially wit the 'para lies' wordplay that you seemed to throw in out of the blue, which made it feel forced.. shouldve worked on building up to the natural erosion, which was a nice flip, but lacked a relevant setup.. again less is more, you got caught up a bit tryin to impress wit too many complex multis in that one bar.. ok the rock rollin attire, what did you mean? are you sayin that he wouldnt rock=wear attire=clothes? this concept seems vague, imo..and i translate that as you sayin he doesnt wear nice clothes, which is fairly weak imo.. the flip was nice wit the flintstones, but because of the irrelevant buildup, talkin bout he never shot nines to clothes, made it lose alot of steam...ok, moving along to the 'a part ment for boi', was nice wordplay but the wording was kinda weak.. was this a personal?was after thought turned down as a leader of a crew?end was decent ...

ok on to after thought, first bar, nice start, very little filler, relevant wit lightup, towards dawn wordplay.. so far so good.. , then continues to another good concept to flip, walkman taple..didnt care for the heavenly songs startplayin, wouldve used that flip as a jab, and finish the scheme, bar wit the walkman tape. the name covered flip was okish,report card flip again was simple and fairly decent..headin over to the eagles flip, nice jab to start to bar, though as you progressed to bare wit guys,are you sayin bare= broke when wit his friends, or in comparison to other guys? and the SEE HIM ON HIS GRIZZLY, couldve been worded better, i would ve said,the only reason he SEES HIMSELF A GRIZZLY.... even then that multi is mismatched wit the rest of ya scheme.. wit 'griz, not rhymin wit friend, or bent...liked the setup towards, the rocks or huntsign, good somewhat short setup, to the point.. also liked the slid rule, references..wasnt feelin the 'indicater' wordplay, felt forced...why does it feel forced?you ask.. well what is he catering? or supplying? and earlier you said he aint supplying a fam..wtf's that sopposed to mean? he not supplyin a friend?family? couldve said he aint supplyin dem snaps, and in di cater,was that sopposed to be cater=to provide services.. or a reference to lil waynes da carter? vague wording imo.. thats why the whole wordplay felt forced and thrown in just to make ya line more technical,and fancy..moving towards the end, i was feelin the gypsy balls lines.. good ish...
in the end grizz came wit alot of good flips, just need to work on not overdoin the schemes, in ya buildups, wordin issues tend to be a problem at times.. afta, you also came wit some nice flips=punches as well... not really much as far as improving.. bars werent runon, just enough multis, ..so my vote goes to the one that was more well rounded in all aspects, flow, to relevant builds, to multischeme, to concept to flip...on a consistent level..

grizzeat -8 afterthought -9

[ILLoKWENT]

im gonna breakdown what i thought were some of the highlights, and lowlights..ok, lets start wit grizzeat;first bar setup started out decent, first two multis in scheme were relevant, leadin up to a nice concept, to flip... next bar, nice jab wit the users reflection flip, like the accompanyin name play, wit ale, didnt care too much for the goliath, wordplay, the read felt forced imo... especially the af ah david..if you worded the concept differently, maybe if you negated tryin to make a wordplay outta goliath, and focused on the afa david,it wouldve landed harder... in this case you were tryin too much.. keep it a bit simpler, less is more.. ok the RAPPIN IT FUROCIOUS multi scheme started decent wit the moving school concept, but then started to become irrelevant filler imo.. especially wit the 'para lies' wordplay that you seemed to throw in out of the blue, which made it feel forced.. shouldve worked on building up to the natural erosion, which was a nice flip, but lacked a relevant setup.. again less is more, you got caught up a bit tryin to impress wit too many complex multis in that one bar.. ok the rock rollin attire, what did you mean? are you sayin that he wouldnt rock=wear attire=clothes? this concept seems vague, imo..and i translate that as you sayin he doesnt wear nice clothes, which is fairly weak imo.. the flip was nice wit the flintstones, but because of the irrelevant buildup, talkin bout he never shot nines to clothes, made it lose alot of steam...ok, moving along to the 'a part ment for boi', was nice wordplay but the wording was kinda weak.. was this a personal?was after thought turned down as a leader of a crew?end was decent ...

ok on to after thought, first bar, nice start, very little filler, relevant wit lightup, towards dawn wordplay.. so far so good.. , then continues to another good concept to flip, walkman taple..didnt care for the heavenly songs startplayin, wouldve used that flip as a jab, and finish the scheme, bar wit the walkman tape. the name covered flip was okish,report card flip again was simple and fairly decent..headin over to the eagles flip, nice jab to start to bar, though as you progressed to bare wit guys,are you sayin bare= broke when wit his friends, or in comparison to other guys? and the SEE HIM ON HIS GRIZZLY, couldve been worded better, i would ve said,the only reason he SEES HIMSELF A GRIZZLY.... even then that multi is mismatched wit the rest of ya scheme.. wit 'griz, not rhymin wit friend, or bent...liked the setup towards, the rocks or huntsign, good somewhat short setup, to the point.. also liked the slid rule, references..wasnt feelin the 'indicater' wordplay, felt forced...why does it feel forced?you ask.. well what is he catering? or supplying? and earlier you said he aint supplying a fam..wtf's that sopposed to mean? he not supplyin a friend?family? couldve said he aint supplyin dem snaps, and in di cater,was that sopposed to be cater=to provide services.. or a reference to lil waynes da carter? vague wording imo.. thats why the whole wordplay felt forced and thrown in just to make ya line more technical,and fancy..moving towards the end, i was feelin the gypsy balls lines.. good ish...
in the end grizz came wit alot of good flips, just need to work on not overdoin the schemes, in ya buildups, wordin issues tend to be a problem at times.. afta, you also came wit some nice flips=punches as well... not really much as far as improving.. bars werent runon, just enough multis, ..so my vote goes to the one that was more well rounded in all aspects, flow, to relevant builds, to multischeme, to concept to flip...on a consistent level..

grizzeat -8 afterthought -9

[GRizzEAT]

Son, Im not gonna say much except for nice expo. But u failed to understand simple stuff. Dude Foreal.

[GRizzEAT]

Son, Im not gonna say much except for nice expo. But u failed to understand simple stuff. Dude Foreal.

[IV]

Grizz, don't sway. They get judged on it at the end so don't sway anyone else's opinion of their expo.

[IV]

Grizz, don't sway. They get judged on it at the end so don't sway anyone else's opinion of their expo.

[AfterThought]

Originally Posted by ILLoKWENT

im gonna breakdown what i thought were some of the highlights, and lowlights..ok, lets start wit grizzeat;first bar setup started out decent, first two multis in scheme were relevant, leadin up to a nice concept, to flip... next bar, nice jab wit the users reflection flip, like the accompanyin name play, wit ale, didnt care too much for the goliath, wordplay, the read felt forced imo... especially the af ah david..if you worded the concept differently, maybe if you negated tryin to make a wordplay outta goliath, and focused on the afa david,it wouldve landed harder... in this case you were tryin too much.. keep it a bit simpler, less is more.. ok the RAPPIN IT FUROCIOUS multi scheme started decent wit the moving school concept, but then started to become irrelevant filler imo.. especially wit the 'para lies' wordplay that you seemed to throw in out of the blue, which made it feel forced.. shouldve worked on building up to the natural erosion, which was a nice flip, but lacked a relevant setup.. again less is more, you got caught up a bit tryin to impress wit too many complex multis in that one bar.. ok the rock rollin attire, what did you mean? are you sayin that he wouldnt rock=wear attire=clothes? this concept seems vague, imo..and i translate that as you sayin he doesnt wear nice clothes, which is fairly weak imo.. the flip was nice wit the flintstones, but because of the irrelevant buildup, talkin bout he never shot nines to clothes, made it lose alot of steam...ok, moving along to the 'a part ment for boi', was nice wordplay but the wording was kinda weak.. was this a personal?was after thought turned down as a leader of a crew?end was decent ...

ok on to after thought, first bar, nice start, very little filler, relevant wit lightup, towards dawn wordplay.. so far so good.. , then continues to another good concept to flip, walkman taple..didnt care for the heavenly songs startplayin, wouldve used that flip as a jab, and finish the scheme, bar wit the walkman tape. the name covered flip was okish,report card flip again was simple and fairly decent..headin over to the eagles flip, nice jab to start to bar, though as you progressed to bare wit guys,are you sayin bare= broke when wit his friends, or in comparison to other guys? and the SEE HIM ON HIS GRIZZLY, couldve been worded better, i would ve said,the only reason he SEES HIMSELF A GRIZZLY.... even then that multi is mismatched wit the rest of ya scheme.. wit 'griz, not rhymin wit friend, or bent...liked the setup towards, the rocks or huntsign, good somewhat short setup, to the point.. also liked the slid rule, references..wasnt feelin the 'indicater' wordplay, felt forced...why does it feel forced?you ask.. well what is he catering? or supplying? and earlier you said he aint supplying a fam..wtf's that sopposed to mean? he not supplyin a friend?family? couldve said he aint supplyin dem snaps, and in di cater,was that sopposed to be cater=to provide services.. or a reference to lil waynes da carter? vague wording imo.. thats why the whole wordplay felt forced and thrown in just to make ya line more technical,and fancy..moving towards the end, i was feelin the gypsy balls lines.. good ish...
in the end grizz came wit alot of good flips, just need to work on not overdoin the schemes, in ya buildups, wordin issues tend to be a problem at times.. afta, you also came wit some nice flips=punches as well... not really much as far as improving.. bars werent runon, just enough multis, ..so my vote goes to the one that was more well rounded in all aspects, flow, to relevant builds, to multischeme, to concept to flip...on a consistent level..

grizzeat -8 afterthought -9

Bare means naked you dumbfuck. lol j/p Thanks for the breakdown nonetheless.

[AfterThought]

Originally Posted by ILLoKWENT

im gonna breakdown what i thought were some of the highlights, and lowlights..ok, lets start wit grizzeat;first bar setup started out decent, first two multis in scheme were relevant, leadin up to a nice concept, to flip... next bar, nice jab wit the users reflection flip, like the accompanyin name play, wit ale, didnt care too much for the goliath, wordplay, the read felt forced imo... especially the af ah david..if you worded the concept differently, maybe if you negated tryin to make a wordplay outta goliath, and focused on the afa david,it wouldve landed harder... in this case you were tryin too much.. keep it a bit simpler, less is more.. ok the RAPPIN IT FUROCIOUS multi scheme started decent wit the moving school concept, but then started to become irrelevant filler imo.. especially wit the 'para lies' wordplay that you seemed to throw in out of the blue, which made it feel forced.. shouldve worked on building up to the natural erosion, which was a nice flip, but lacked a relevant setup.. again less is more, you got caught up a bit tryin to impress wit too many complex multis in that one bar.. ok the rock rollin attire, what did you mean? are you sayin that he wouldnt rock=wear attire=clothes? this concept seems vague, imo..and i translate that as you sayin he doesnt wear nice clothes, which is fairly weak imo.. the flip was nice wit the flintstones, but because of the irrelevant buildup, talkin bout he never shot nines to clothes, made it lose alot of steam...ok, moving along to the 'a part ment for boi', was nice wordplay but the wording was kinda weak.. was this a personal?was after thought turned down as a leader of a crew?end was decent ...

ok on to after thought, first bar, nice start, very little filler, relevant wit lightup, towards dawn wordplay.. so far so good.. , then continues to another good concept to flip, walkman taple..didnt care for the heavenly songs startplayin, wouldve used that flip as a jab, and finish the scheme, bar wit the walkman tape. the name covered flip was okish,report card flip again was simple and fairly decent..headin over to the eagles flip, nice jab to start to bar, though as you progressed to bare wit guys,are you sayin bare= broke when wit his friends, or in comparison to other guys? and the SEE HIM ON HIS GRIZZLY, couldve been worded better, i would ve said,the only reason he SEES HIMSELF A GRIZZLY.... even then that multi is mismatched wit the rest of ya scheme.. wit 'griz, not rhymin wit friend, or bent...liked the setup towards, the rocks or huntsign, good somewhat short setup, to the point.. also liked the slid rule, references..wasnt feelin the 'indicater' wordplay, felt forced...why does it feel forced?you ask.. well what is he catering? or supplying? and earlier you said he aint supplying a fam..wtf's that sopposed to mean? he not supplyin a friend?family? couldve said he aint supplyin dem snaps, and in di cater,was that sopposed to be cater=to provide services.. or a reference to lil waynes da carter? vague wording imo.. thats why the whole wordplay felt forced and thrown in just to make ya line more technical,and fancy..moving towards the end, i was feelin the gypsy balls lines.. good ish...
in the end grizz came wit alot of good flips, just need to work on not overdoin the schemes, in ya buildups, wordin issues tend to be a problem at times.. afta, you also came wit some nice flips=punches as well... not really much as far as improving.. bars werent runon, just enough multis, ..so my vote goes to the one that was more well rounded in all aspects, flow, to relevant builds, to multischeme, to concept to flip...on a consistent level..

grizzeat -8 afterthought -9

Bare means naked you dumbfuck. lol j/p Thanks for the breakdown nonetheless.

[IV]

That was slightly sarcasm btw.

[IV]

That was slightly sarcasm btw.

[GRizzEAT]

vee, i jus said.....fuk it.

[GRizzEAT]

vee, i jus said.....fuk it.

[AfterThought]

[AfterThought]