::..Rupt Rates You..::

[ILLoKWENT]

@Student

Chico may talk about "Fake Stacks" and "Large Steel, Moving" but he's just referring to movies with BANK FORGERS and speaking of cash...his verse? I couldn't even make "Heads Or Tails" of it like BLANK QUARTERS!! setup was fairly relavent wit the whole cash concept, the problem i had wit the first line tho was how wordy it was.... 26 syllables including the first multi set... that hurts flow and turns a verse more into just writing paragraphs....yes it fits more content in, but you need to learn to use less words to get your idea across, your punch line idiom was decent.. problem here is any mention of heads or tails and using quarters as a flip has been played out for a long time.


this guy's the "Biggest Joke" look at his WORTHLESS acCOUNTS enough to SERVICE A TOWN so you'd think he'd be just fine but he still can't "Build Up" a punchline while I'll just "Go For The Jugular/Juggler" to kill this CIRCUS CLOWN!!broken multi set here..wit circus clown being 3 syllables.. hurts the rhythm of the bar here.. second line here again too wordy, when i read it my mind keeps expecting another multi set to lower the line count..and keep flow.. i couldve said your whole bar like this... this guys the 'biggest joke' wit enuf WORTHLESS ACCOUNTS to SERVICE A TOWN, so if ya try 'tossin anything' to HURT ME IN ROUNDS, i'll 'go for the jugular' like some CIRCUS HAS FOUND another PURPOSE FOR CLOWNS..



I'm a classy island killer but when I say my lines'll "Wrap Around His Neck" or "Fold His Chest" I don't mean LEI'S OR LAPELS and he's deadly? nah only time he see's "Ass Ass Inns" is going to GAYLORD HOTELS!! again very overy long setups, waaayyy too wordy... you dont need 'classy island killer' shits just filler that doesnt really further your concept and seems to be just thrown in there to connect LEIS.... you couldve stayed simple and say 'wrap around his neck' , but i aint OFFERIN A LEI.. also the setup here was prolly your worse as far as relavence to your end punch.. what is the main idea here ? your ridiculing the fact that he thinks he's deadly... or that hes a faggit....so stick wit one of those ideas in the setup and follow thru... the end wordplay was very forced and got even more whack when flippin wit GAYLORD HOTELS..there is an actual gaylord hotel, which is a subsidiary of the marriot,and has absolutely no relavence to anything homoerotic.. prolly your worse bar here



he may talk about his "Shit Being Smooth" but that's just his BOTTOM LOTION and you beating me? please..."Don't Kid Yourself" like CONDOM SLOGANS!! this was a fairly decent short bar setup.. setup wise, wasnt feelin it much.. yeah its somewhat relavent cause translating it, your sayin that he claims to have a smooth verse, but he dont , so beating you is a fallacy.. this i get, but you couldve been alot more relavent and hit wit a stronger build.even wit short bar.. i'd have said think you 'got me covered'?yeah, only for the COST OF LOTION, so fuck ya NOVICE NOTIONS, cause them 'raps wont protect you' unless its a CONDOM SLOGAN/..

I'm Student but I ought a be TEACHING CLASS talking bout' READING MAPS cause I'll put a "Red Stripe Through His Center" like this costa RICAN'S FLAG!!this bar was aight, nothing major, straight and to the point.. plus he bit on the last tournament and to that there's no STEEP OPPOSITION everyone knows those lines you quickly "Ripped Off” without CHEAP CIRCUMCISION!! last line.this bitch wanna "DICK AROUND" Ri:can catch a beat down like that meltdown wit CHRIS BROWNlike the relavence in setup here, punch was weak and basic imo.. ripped off doesnt relate too well with cheap circumcision..you need to tie it to a closer relation that is still an entrende..closer was a let doWN here.. seems like you got lazy and rushed this one... i see where you were implyin ri =rianna.. but the wording made it pretty statementish and boring...

PUNCHES: 5.5 okay punchlines and concepts were okaish, they just werent too creative and out of box for my liking... not to say that you had alot of potential big hits, the wording took them down a notch,

PERSONALS:3 i saw one attempt at nameplay, and a rican flag reference which seemed more like an afterthought than a punchline... rest couldve been aimed at anyone..

MULTIS/FLOW/SCHEMEWORK: 5 wasnt bad, pretty decent , not too complex, just stay away from the wordy setup lines...

CREATIVITY/SWAG: 5.5 again, nothing really stood out to me.. almost paint by the numbers safe type of bars here... but they were fairly polished so slightly above average...

TOTAL:4.75 personals brought down what wouldve been a slightly above average verse here..ive seen you do some very good bars on occasion, but this one wasnt one of those efforts.. my advice is work on shorter more concise wording, and personals...

[ILLoKWENT]

@Student

Chico may talk about "Fake Stacks" and "Large Steel, Moving" but he's just referring to movies with BANK FORGERS and speaking of cash...his verse? I couldn't even make "Heads Or Tails" of it like BLANK QUARTERS!! setup was fairly relavent wit the whole cash concept, the problem i had wit the first line tho was how wordy it was.... 26 syllables including the first multi set... that hurts flow and turns a verse more into just writing paragraphs....yes it fits more content in, but you need to learn to use less words to get your idea across, your punch line idiom was decent.. problem here is any mention of heads or tails and using quarters as a flip has been played out for a long time.


this guy's the "Biggest Joke" look at his WORTHLESS acCOUNTS enough to SERVICE A TOWN so you'd think he'd be just fine but he still can't "Build Up" a punchline while I'll just "Go For The Jugular/Juggler" to kill this CIRCUS CLOWN!!broken multi set here..wit circus clown being 3 syllables.. hurts the rhythm of the bar here.. second line here again too wordy, when i read it my mind keeps expecting another multi set to lower the line count..and keep flow.. i couldve said your whole bar like this... this guys the 'biggest joke' wit enuf WORTHLESS ACCOUNTS to SERVICE A TOWN, so if ya try 'tossin anything' to HURT ME IN ROUNDS, i'll 'go for the jugular' like some CIRCUS HAS FOUND another PURPOSE FOR CLOWNS..



I'm a classy island killer but when I say my lines'll "Wrap Around His Neck" or "Fold His Chest" I don't mean LEI'S OR LAPELS and he's deadly? nah only time he see's "Ass Ass Inns" is going to GAYLORD HOTELS!! again very overy long setups, waaayyy too wordy... you dont need 'classy island killer' shits just filler that doesnt really further your concept and seems to be just thrown in there to connect LEIS.... you couldve stayed simple and say 'wrap around his neck' , but i aint OFFERIN A LEI.. also the setup here was prolly your worse as far as relavence to your end punch.. what is the main idea here ? your ridiculing the fact that he thinks he's deadly... or that hes a faggit....so stick wit one of those ideas in the setup and follow thru... the end wordplay was very forced and got even more whack when flippin wit GAYLORD HOTELS..there is an actual gaylord hotel, which is a subsidiary of the marriot,and has absolutely no relavence to anything homoerotic.. prolly your worse bar here



he may talk about his "Shit Being Smooth" but that's just his BOTTOM LOTION and you beating me? please..."Don't Kid Yourself" like CONDOM SLOGANS!! this was a fairly decent short bar setup.. setup wise, wasnt feelin it much.. yeah its somewhat relavent cause translating it, your sayin that he claims to have a smooth verse, but he dont , so beating you is a fallacy.. this i get, but you couldve been alot more relavent and hit wit a stronger build.even wit short bar.. i'd have said think you 'got me covered'?yeah, only for the COST OF LOTION, so fuck ya NOVICE NOTIONS, cause them 'raps wont protect you' unless its a CONDOM SLOGAN/..

I'm Student but I ought a be TEACHING CLASS talking bout' READING MAPS cause I'll put a "Red Stripe Through His Center" like this costa RICAN'S FLAG!!this bar was aight, nothing major, straight and to the point.. plus he bit on the last tournament and to that there's no STEEP OPPOSITION everyone knows those lines you quickly "Ripped Off” without CHEAP CIRCUMCISION!! last line.this bitch wanna "DICK AROUND" Ri:can catch a beat down like that meltdown wit CHRIS BROWNlike the relavence in setup here, punch was weak and basic imo.. ripped off doesnt relate too well with cheap circumcision..you need to tie it to a closer relation that is still an entrende..closer was a let doWN here.. seems like you got lazy and rushed this one... i see where you were implyin ri =rianna.. but the wording made it pretty statementish and boring...

PUNCHES: 5.5 okay punchlines and concepts were okaish, they just werent too creative and out of box for my liking... not to say that you had alot of potential big hits, the wording took them down a notch,

PERSONALS:3 i saw one attempt at nameplay, and a rican flag reference which seemed more like an afterthought than a punchline... rest couldve been aimed at anyone..

MULTIS/FLOW/SCHEMEWORK: 5 wasnt bad, pretty decent , not too complex, just stay away from the wordy setup lines...

CREATIVITY/SWAG: 5.5 again, nothing really stood out to me.. almost paint by the numbers safe type of bars here... but they were fairly polished so slightly above average...

TOTAL:4.75 personals brought down what wouldve been a slightly above average verse here..ive seen you do some very good bars on occasion, but this one wasnt one of those efforts.. my advice is work on shorter more concise wording, and personals...

[Quincy®]

Originally Posted by ILLoKWENT

@Student

Chico may talk about "Fake Stacks" and "Large Steel, Moving" but he's just referring to movies with BANK FORGERS and speaking of cash...his verse? I couldn't even make "Heads Or Tails" of it like BLANK QUARTERS!! setup was fairly relavent wit the whole cash concept, the problem i had wit the first line tho was how wordy it was.... 26 syllables including the first multi set... that hurts flow and turns a verse more into just writing paragraphs....yes it fits more content in, but you need to learn to use less words to get your idea across, your punch line idiom was decent.. problem here is any mention of heads or tails and using quarters as a flip has been played out for a long time.


this guy's the "Biggest Joke" look at his WORTHLESS acCOUNTS enough to SERVICE A TOWN so you'd think he'd be just fine but he still can't "Build Up" a punchline while I'll just "Go For The Jugular/Juggler" to kill this CIRCUS CLOWN!!broken multi set here..wit circus clown being 3 syllables.. hurts the rhythm of the bar here.. second line here again too wordy, when i read it my mind keeps expecting another multi set to lower the line count..and keep flow.. i couldve said your whole bar like this... this guys the 'biggest joke' wit enuf WORTHLESS ACCOUNTS to SERVICE A TOWN, so if ya try 'tossin anything' to HURT ME IN ROUNDS, i'll 'go for the jugular' like some CIRCUS HAS FOUND another PURPOSE FOR CLOWNS..



I'm a classy island killer but when I say my lines'll "Wrap Around His Neck" or "Fold His Chest" I don't mean LEI'S OR LAPELS and he's deadly? nah only time he see's "Ass Ass Inns" is going to GAYLORD HOTELS!! again very overy long setups, waaayyy too wordy... you dont need 'classy island killer' shits just filler that doesnt really further your concept and seems to be just thrown in there to connect LEIS.... you couldve stayed simple and say 'wrap around his neck' , but i aint OFFERIN A LEI.. also the setup here was prolly your worse as far as relavence to your end punch.. what is the main idea here ? your ridiculing the fact that he thinks he's deadly... or that hes a faggit....so stick wit one of those ideas in the setup and follow thru... the end wordplay was very forced and got even more whack when flippin wit GAYLORD HOTELS..there is an actual gaylord hotel, which is a subsidiary of the marriot,and has absolutely no relavence to anything homoerotic.. prolly your worse bar here



he may talk about his "Shit Being Smooth" but that's just his BOTTOM LOTION and you beating me? please..."Don't Kid Yourself" like CONDOM SLOGANS!! this was a fairly decent short bar setup.. setup wise, wasnt feelin it much.. yeah its somewhat relavent cause translating it, your sayin that he claims to have a smooth verse, but he dont , so beating you is a fallacy.. this i get, but you couldve been alot more relavent and hit wit a stronger build.even wit short bar.. i'd have said think you 'got me covered'?yeah, only for the COST OF LOTION, so fuck ya NOVICE NOTIONS, cause them 'raps wont protect you' unless its a CONDOM SLOGAN/..

I'm Student but I ought a be TEACHING CLASS talking bout' READING MAPS cause I'll put a "Red Stripe Through His Center" like this costa RICAN'S FLAG!!this bar was aight, nothing major, straight and to the point.. plus he bit on the last tournament and to that there's no STEEP OPPOSITION everyone knows those lines you quickly "Ripped Off” without CHEAP CIRCUMCISION!! last line.this bitch wanna "DICK AROUND" Ri:can catch a beat down like that meltdown wit CHRIS BROWNlike the relavence in setup here, punch was weak and basic imo.. ripped off doesnt relate too well with cheap circumcision..you need to tie it to a closer relation that is still an entrende..closer was a let doWN here.. seems like you got lazy and rushed this one... i see where you were implyin ri =rianna.. but the wording made it pretty statementish and boring...

PUNCHES: 5.5 okay punchlines and concepts were okaish, they just werent too creative and out of box for my liking... not to say that you had alot of potential big hits, the wording took them down a notch,

PERSONALS:3 i saw one attempt at nameplay, and a rican flag reference which seemed more like an afterthought than a punchline... rest couldve been aimed at anyone..

MULTIS/FLOW/SCHEMEWORK: 5 wasnt bad, pretty decent , not too complex, just stay away from the wordy setup lines...

CREATIVITY/SWAG: 5.5 again, nothing really stood out to me.. almost paint by the numbers safe type of bars here... but they were fairly polished so slightly above average...

TOTAL:4.75 personals brought down what wouldve been a slightly above average verse here..ive seen you do some very good bars on occasion, but this one wasnt one of those efforts.. my advice is work on shorter more concise wording, and personals...

And my wait continues. Lol @ILLo I ain't that hard to respond to bra?

[Quincy®]

Originally Posted by ILLoKWENT

@Student

Chico may talk about "Fake Stacks" and "Large Steel, Moving" but he's just referring to movies with BANK FORGERS and speaking of cash...his verse? I couldn't even make "Heads Or Tails" of it like BLANK QUARTERS!! setup was fairly relavent wit the whole cash concept, the problem i had wit the first line tho was how wordy it was.... 26 syllables including the first multi set... that hurts flow and turns a verse more into just writing paragraphs....yes it fits more content in, but you need to learn to use less words to get your idea across, your punch line idiom was decent.. problem here is any mention of heads or tails and using quarters as a flip has been played out for a long time.


this guy's the "Biggest Joke" look at his WORTHLESS acCOUNTS enough to SERVICE A TOWN so you'd think he'd be just fine but he still can't "Build Up" a punchline while I'll just "Go For The Jugular/Juggler" to kill this CIRCUS CLOWN!!broken multi set here..wit circus clown being 3 syllables.. hurts the rhythm of the bar here.. second line here again too wordy, when i read it my mind keeps expecting another multi set to lower the line count..and keep flow.. i couldve said your whole bar like this... this guys the 'biggest joke' wit enuf WORTHLESS ACCOUNTS to SERVICE A TOWN, so if ya try 'tossin anything' to HURT ME IN ROUNDS, i'll 'go for the jugular' like some CIRCUS HAS FOUND another PURPOSE FOR CLOWNS..



I'm a classy island killer but when I say my lines'll "Wrap Around His Neck" or "Fold His Chest" I don't mean LEI'S OR LAPELS and he's deadly? nah only time he see's "Ass Ass Inns" is going to GAYLORD HOTELS!! again very overy long setups, waaayyy too wordy... you dont need 'classy island killer' shits just filler that doesnt really further your concept and seems to be just thrown in there to connect LEIS.... you couldve stayed simple and say 'wrap around his neck' , but i aint OFFERIN A LEI.. also the setup here was prolly your worse as far as relavence to your end punch.. what is the main idea here ? your ridiculing the fact that he thinks he's deadly... or that hes a faggit....so stick wit one of those ideas in the setup and follow thru... the end wordplay was very forced and got even more whack when flippin wit GAYLORD HOTELS..there is an actual gaylord hotel, which is a subsidiary of the marriot,and has absolutely no relavence to anything homoerotic.. prolly your worse bar here



he may talk about his "Shit Being Smooth" but that's just his BOTTOM LOTION and you beating me? please..."Don't Kid Yourself" like CONDOM SLOGANS!! this was a fairly decent short bar setup.. setup wise, wasnt feelin it much.. yeah its somewhat relavent cause translating it, your sayin that he claims to have a smooth verse, but he dont , so beating you is a fallacy.. this i get, but you couldve been alot more relavent and hit wit a stronger build.even wit short bar.. i'd have said think you 'got me covered'?yeah, only for the COST OF LOTION, so fuck ya NOVICE NOTIONS, cause them 'raps wont protect you' unless its a CONDOM SLOGAN/..

I'm Student but I ought a be TEACHING CLASS talking bout' READING MAPS cause I'll put a "Red Stripe Through His Center" like this costa RICAN'S FLAG!!this bar was aight, nothing major, straight and to the point.. plus he bit on the last tournament and to that there's no STEEP OPPOSITION everyone knows those lines you quickly "Ripped Off” without CHEAP CIRCUMCISION!! last line.this bitch wanna "DICK AROUND" Ri:can catch a beat down like that meltdown wit CHRIS BROWNlike the relavence in setup here, punch was weak and basic imo.. ripped off doesnt relate too well with cheap circumcision..you need to tie it to a closer relation that is still an entrende..closer was a let doWN here.. seems like you got lazy and rushed this one... i see where you were implyin ri =rianna.. but the wording made it pretty statementish and boring...

PUNCHES: 5.5 okay punchlines and concepts were okaish, they just werent too creative and out of box for my liking... not to say that you had alot of potential big hits, the wording took them down a notch,

PERSONALS:3 i saw one attempt at nameplay, and a rican flag reference which seemed more like an afterthought than a punchline... rest couldve been aimed at anyone..

MULTIS/FLOW/SCHEMEWORK: 5 wasnt bad, pretty decent , not too complex, just stay away from the wordy setup lines...

CREATIVITY/SWAG: 5.5 again, nothing really stood out to me.. almost paint by the numbers safe type of bars here... but they were fairly polished so slightly above average...

TOTAL:4.75 personals brought down what wouldve been a slightly above average verse here..ive seen you do some very good bars on occasion, but this one wasnt one of those efforts.. my advice is work on shorter more concise wording, and personals...

And my wait continues. Lol @ILLo I ain't that hard to respond to bra?

[ILLoKWENT]

Originally Posted by Q~THE~DON~

And my wait continues. Lol @ILLo I ain't that hard to respond to bra?

If i choose to breakdown your bars.ull see it in here.. if not me than @Erupt. Right now im doin the ones that rupt asked me to help him with.

[ILLoKWENT]

Originally Posted by Q~THE~DON~

And my wait continues. Lol @ILLo I ain't that hard to respond to bra?

If i choose to breakdown your bars.ull see it in here.. if not me than @Erupt. Right now im doin the ones that rupt asked me to help him with.

[Wonderbred]

Was gonna do my battle with 2FUEL but fuck it, here's an 8-syllable scheme battle with James/The Lock that I'm pretty sure no one has ever seen because it got like three votes. CANNIBALISTIC COLONIES was the scheme.

This dude claims to be a Christian who BASKS IN THE SPIRIT FLAWLESSLY, but you hang around Dave so much you have your ASS ON HIS DICK A LOT IT SEEMS, so if my underSTANDIN IS TWISTED PARDON ME...but doesn’t PRACTICIN VICIOUS SODOMY CLASH WITH RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE, G? I ACTUALLY FUCKED HIS MOM, YA SEE, and that bitch had more ANIMALISTIC QUALITIES than CANNIBALISTIC COLONIES! I’d say you could “beat me in your dreams” but I’d be SMASHIN THIS KID SUBCONSCIOUSLY! And on video battles this FAGGOT JUST SPITS RETARDEDLY with an ACCENT THAT SOUNDS JUST AWFUL like he HAS TO GO SPIT SOME CHAW OR SEEDS! But this redneck’s from Carolina where BLACKS ARE A BIG MINORITY, so when he’s blastin’ “My Nigga” OUT IN THE STICKS OF CHARLOTTE HE just remembers the days before his FAMILY LIVED IN POVERTY and HAD ONE AS LICIT PROPERTY! Like DAMN YOU’RE A BIGOT OCK! LET’S SEE...our last BATTLE WAS REALLY THOUGHT TO BE a CLASSIC BETWEEN THE LOCK AND ME, but if you think Lock’s the CHAMPION WITH THE RAWER SCHEMES? Those votes LACKED ANY REAL HONESTY which resulted in a MASSIVE POTENTIAL ROBBERY! And I won’t PLAY THE VICTIM but that FAVORITISM was more DAMAGING TO DEMOCRACY than CHALLENGING BUSINESS POLICIES in a CAPITALIST ECONOMY! #murda

[Wonderbred]

Was gonna do my battle with 2FUEL but fuck it, here's an 8-syllable scheme battle with James/The Lock that I'm pretty sure no one has ever seen because it got like three votes. CANNIBALISTIC COLONIES was the scheme.

This dude claims to be a Christian who BASKS IN THE SPIRIT FLAWLESSLY, but you hang around Dave so much you have your ASS ON HIS DICK A LOT IT SEEMS, so if my underSTANDIN IS TWISTED PARDON ME...but doesn’t PRACTICIN VICIOUS SODOMY CLASH WITH RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE, G? I ACTUALLY FUCKED HIS MOM, YA SEE, and that bitch had more ANIMALISTIC QUALITIES than CANNIBALISTIC COLONIES! I’d say you could “beat me in your dreams” but I’d be SMASHIN THIS KID SUBCONSCIOUSLY! And on video battles this FAGGOT JUST SPITS RETARDEDLY with an ACCENT THAT SOUNDS JUST AWFUL like he HAS TO GO SPIT SOME CHAW OR SEEDS! But this redneck’s from Carolina where BLACKS ARE A BIG MINORITY, so when he’s blastin’ “My Nigga” OUT IN THE STICKS OF CHARLOTTE HE just remembers the days before his FAMILY LIVED IN POVERTY and HAD ONE AS LICIT PROPERTY! Like DAMN YOU’RE A BIGOT OCK! LET’S SEE...our last BATTLE WAS REALLY THOUGHT TO BE a CLASSIC BETWEEN THE LOCK AND ME, but if you think Lock’s the CHAMPION WITH THE RAWER SCHEMES? Those votes LACKED ANY REAL HONESTY which resulted in a MASSIVE POTENTIAL ROBBERY! And I won’t PLAY THE VICTIM but that FAVORITISM was more DAMAGING TO DEMOCRACY than CHALLENGING BUSINESS POLICIES in a CAPITALIST ECONOMY! #murda

[Student]

Originally Posted by ILLoKWENT

@Student

Chico may talk about "Fake Stacks" and "Large Steel, Moving" but he's just referring to movies with BANK FORGERS and speaking of cash...his verse? I couldn't even make "Heads Or Tails" of it like BLANK QUARTERS!! setup was fairly relavent wit the whole cash concept, the problem i had wit the first line tho was how wordy it was.... 26 syllables including the first multi set... that hurts flow and turns a verse more into just writing paragraphs....yes it fits more content in, but you need to learn to use less words to get your idea across, your punch line idiom was decent.. problem here is any mention of heads or tails and using quarters as a flip has been played out for a long time.


this guy's the "Biggest Joke" look at his WORTHLESS acCOUNTS enough to SERVICE A TOWN so you'd think he'd be just fine but he still can't "Build Up" a punchline while I'll just "Go For The Jugular/Juggler" to kill this CIRCUS CLOWN!!broken multi set here..wit circus clown being 3 syllables.. hurts the rhythm of the bar here.. second line here again too wordy, when i read it my mind keeps expecting another multi set to lower the line count..and keep flow.. i couldve said your whole bar like this... this guys the 'biggest joke' wit enuf WORTHLESS ACCOUNTS to SERVICE A TOWN, so if ya try 'tossin anything' to HURT ME IN ROUNDS, i'll 'go for the jugular' like some CIRCUS HAS FOUND another PURPOSE FOR CLOWNS..



I'm a classy island killer but when I say my lines'll "Wrap Around His Neck" or "Fold His Chest" I don't mean LEI'S OR LAPELS and he's deadly? nah only time he see's "Ass Ass Inns" is going to GAYLORD HOTELS!! again very overy long setups, waaayyy too wordy... you dont need 'classy island killer' shits just filler that doesnt really further your concept and seems to be just thrown in there to connect LEIS.... you couldve stayed simple and say 'wrap around his neck' , but i aint OFFERIN A LEI.. also the setup here was prolly your worse as far as relavence to your end punch.. what is the main idea here ? your ridiculing the fact that he thinks he's deadly... or that hes a faggit....so stick wit one of those ideas in the setup and follow thru... the end wordplay was very forced and got even more whack when flippin wit GAYLORD HOTELS..there is an actual gaylord hotel, which is a subsidiary of the marriot,and has absolutely no relavence to anything homoerotic.. prolly your worse bar here



he may talk about his "Shit Being Smooth" but that's just his BOTTOM LOTION and you beating me? please..."Don't Kid Yourself" like CONDOM SLOGANS!! this was a fairly decent short bar setup.. setup wise, wasnt feelin it much.. yeah its somewhat relavent cause translating it, your sayin that he claims to have a smooth verse, but he dont , so beating you is a fallacy.. this i get, but you couldve been alot more relavent and hit wit a stronger build.even wit short bar.. i'd have said think you 'got me covered'?yeah, only for the COST OF LOTION, so fuck ya NOVICE NOTIONS, cause them 'raps wont protect you' unless its a CONDOM SLOGAN/..

I'm Student but I ought a be TEACHING CLASS talking bout' READING MAPS cause I'll put a "Red Stripe Through His Center" like this costa RICAN'S FLAG!!this bar was aight, nothing major, straight and to the point.. plus he bit on the last tournament and to that there's no STEEP OPPOSITION everyone knows those lines you quickly "Ripped Off” without CHEAP CIRCUMCISION!! last line.this bitch wanna "DICK AROUND" Ri:can catch a beat down like that meltdown wit CHRIS BROWNlike the relavence in setup here, punch was weak and basic imo.. ripped off doesnt relate too well with cheap circumcision..you need to tie it to a closer relation that is still an entrende..closer was a let doWN here.. seems like you got lazy and rushed this one... i see where you were implyin ri =rianna.. but the wording made it pretty statementish and boring...

PUNCHES: 5.5 okay punchlines and concepts were okaish, they just werent too creative and out of box for my liking... not to say that you had alot of potential big hits, the wording took them down a notch,

PERSONALS:3 i saw one attempt at nameplay, and a rican flag reference which seemed more like an afterthought than a punchline... rest couldve been aimed at anyone..

MULTIS/FLOW/SCHEMEWORK: 5 wasnt bad, pretty decent , not too complex, just stay away from the wordy setup lines...

CREATIVITY/SWAG: 5.5 again, nothing really stood out to me.. almost paint by the numbers safe type of bars here... but they were fairly polished so slightly above average...

TOTAL:4.75 personals brought down what wouldve been a slightly above average verse here..ive seen you do some very good bars on occasion, but this one wasnt one of those efforts.. my advice is work on shorter more concise wording, and personals...

Definitely Appreciate The Feedback Man, I'll Work On It. This Breakdown Actually Gives Me Motivation To Write Better.

[Student]

Originally Posted by ILLoKWENT

@Student

Chico may talk about "Fake Stacks" and "Large Steel, Moving" but he's just referring to movies with BANK FORGERS and speaking of cash...his verse? I couldn't even make "Heads Or Tails" of it like BLANK QUARTERS!! setup was fairly relavent wit the whole cash concept, the problem i had wit the first line tho was how wordy it was.... 26 syllables including the first multi set... that hurts flow and turns a verse more into just writing paragraphs....yes it fits more content in, but you need to learn to use less words to get your idea across, your punch line idiom was decent.. problem here is any mention of heads or tails and using quarters as a flip has been played out for a long time.


this guy's the "Biggest Joke" look at his WORTHLESS acCOUNTS enough to SERVICE A TOWN so you'd think he'd be just fine but he still can't "Build Up" a punchline while I'll just "Go For The Jugular/Juggler" to kill this CIRCUS CLOWN!!broken multi set here..wit circus clown being 3 syllables.. hurts the rhythm of the bar here.. second line here again too wordy, when i read it my mind keeps expecting another multi set to lower the line count..and keep flow.. i couldve said your whole bar like this... this guys the 'biggest joke' wit enuf WORTHLESS ACCOUNTS to SERVICE A TOWN, so if ya try 'tossin anything' to HURT ME IN ROUNDS, i'll 'go for the jugular' like some CIRCUS HAS FOUND another PURPOSE FOR CLOWNS..



I'm a classy island killer but when I say my lines'll "Wrap Around His Neck" or "Fold His Chest" I don't mean LEI'S OR LAPELS and he's deadly? nah only time he see's "Ass Ass Inns" is going to GAYLORD HOTELS!! again very overy long setups, waaayyy too wordy... you dont need 'classy island killer' shits just filler that doesnt really further your concept and seems to be just thrown in there to connect LEIS.... you couldve stayed simple and say 'wrap around his neck' , but i aint OFFERIN A LEI.. also the setup here was prolly your worse as far as relavence to your end punch.. what is the main idea here ? your ridiculing the fact that he thinks he's deadly... or that hes a faggit....so stick wit one of those ideas in the setup and follow thru... the end wordplay was very forced and got even more whack when flippin wit GAYLORD HOTELS..there is an actual gaylord hotel, which is a subsidiary of the marriot,and has absolutely no relavence to anything homoerotic.. prolly your worse bar here



he may talk about his "Shit Being Smooth" but that's just his BOTTOM LOTION and you beating me? please..."Don't Kid Yourself" like CONDOM SLOGANS!! this was a fairly decent short bar setup.. setup wise, wasnt feelin it much.. yeah its somewhat relavent cause translating it, your sayin that he claims to have a smooth verse, but he dont , so beating you is a fallacy.. this i get, but you couldve been alot more relavent and hit wit a stronger build.even wit short bar.. i'd have said think you 'got me covered'?yeah, only for the COST OF LOTION, so fuck ya NOVICE NOTIONS, cause them 'raps wont protect you' unless its a CONDOM SLOGAN/..

I'm Student but I ought a be TEACHING CLASS talking bout' READING MAPS cause I'll put a "Red Stripe Through His Center" like this costa RICAN'S FLAG!!this bar was aight, nothing major, straight and to the point.. plus he bit on the last tournament and to that there's no STEEP OPPOSITION everyone knows those lines you quickly "Ripped Off” without CHEAP CIRCUMCISION!! last line.this bitch wanna "DICK AROUND" Ri:can catch a beat down like that meltdown wit CHRIS BROWNlike the relavence in setup here, punch was weak and basic imo.. ripped off doesnt relate too well with cheap circumcision..you need to tie it to a closer relation that is still an entrende..closer was a let doWN here.. seems like you got lazy and rushed this one... i see where you were implyin ri =rianna.. but the wording made it pretty statementish and boring...

PUNCHES: 5.5 okay punchlines and concepts were okaish, they just werent too creative and out of box for my liking... not to say that you had alot of potential big hits, the wording took them down a notch,

PERSONALS:3 i saw one attempt at nameplay, and a rican flag reference which seemed more like an afterthought than a punchline... rest couldve been aimed at anyone..

MULTIS/FLOW/SCHEMEWORK: 5 wasnt bad, pretty decent , not too complex, just stay away from the wordy setup lines...

CREATIVITY/SWAG: 5.5 again, nothing really stood out to me.. almost paint by the numbers safe type of bars here... but they were fairly polished so slightly above average...

TOTAL:4.75 personals brought down what wouldve been a slightly above average verse here..ive seen you do some very good bars on occasion, but this one wasnt one of those efforts.. my advice is work on shorter more concise wording, and personals...

Definitely Appreciate The Feedback Man, I'll Work On It. This Breakdown Actually Gives Me Motivation To Write Better.

Duke RAPPING IS LAME, i'm PACKING TO BANG with this MAC THAT I AIM. i'm “running through your team” like slutty dames when they HAVING A TRAIN!
(a train is a female gettin gang banged)

His girl might look like Nicki MiNAJ YA’LL but she give the best bjs & i love to masSAGE JAWS.so ‘heads up’ it's a “elementary game” if that thot ever DODGE BALLS! (heads up,dodge ball are elementary games.)

What I seen in this WRITERS FAITH will scare the toughest TIGER aWAY. him gettin a flame w/o a LIGHTER RAISED so I hope he can ‘bare’ FIRE K'S cause I plan on “sleeping him before this winter” and letting him ‘HIBERNATE’..

quick keyed. ya thoughts @Erupt

Duke RAPPING IS LAME, i'm PACKING TO BANG with this MAC THAT I AIM. i'm “running through your team” like slutty dames when they HAVING A TRAIN!
(a train is a female gettin gang banged)

His girl might look like Nicki MiNAJ YA’LL but she give the best bjs & i love to masSAGE JAWS.so ‘heads up’ it's a “elementary game” if that thot ever DODGE BALLS! (heads up,dodge ball are elementary games.)

What I seen in this WRITERS FAITH will scare the toughest TIGER aWAY. him gettin a flame w/o a LIGHTER RAISED so I hope he can ‘bare’ FIRE K'S cause I plan on “sleeping him before this winter” and letting him ‘HIBERNATE’..

quick keyed. ya thoughts @Erupt

[Shodan]

Originally Posted by Wonderbred

here's an 8-syllable scheme battle with James/The Lock that I'm pretty sure no one has ever seen because it got like three votes.

I believe I saw this one when it came out. The problem is, when you have an AC vs a MM, half the people who read the battle can't vote on it...

[Shodan]

Originally Posted by Wonderbred

here's an 8-syllable scheme battle with James/The Lock that I'm pretty sure no one has ever seen because it got like three votes.

I believe I saw this one when it came out. The problem is, when you have an AC vs a MM, half the people who read the battle can't vote on it...

Bump.....

Bump.....

[Phracture]

Originally Posted by Dean

Bump.....

word lmfao niggas forgot bout us.

[Phracture]

Originally Posted by Dean

Bump.....

word lmfao niggas forgot bout us.

[reEFer]

Originally Posted by Dissizit

@Erupt ... peep that

vs. Obey

Who the fuck brung LASSE TO DOG FIGHT? He couldn't keep “grounded” wearing sneakers with the SHABBY LACROSSE SPIKES I'm Psycho!, the HAPPY FOR WAR TYPE But thinkin you're “Nuts, Get a grip” you'd rather ASK ME TO COUGH TWICE!....*He's on letsbeef all day!, Eyes red, dry mouth, Parched in a bliss. Tryna give out “rap advice” but ain't Harsh with the spits, *funny how “Bey a net buffer” But'll never be Sharp with the Tips! (bayonet)*<-- while Punches i THROW ERASE TEAMS, & I figured since O's “thinking, Caps Off” I'd kill him with a*LOWER CASE SCHEME!. *Rap skills? i SHOWED YOU THE BASICS... then the way you “Called it quits” it seemed PHONE BOOTH RELATED Them “Ciao lines” was enough to rival SOUL FOOD ARRANGEMENTS! (chow) ... O, we KNOW YOU ASHAMED WITH the fact your “Crafts missing!” But even FOLKS WHO's MALAYSIAN would HOPE YOU EMBRACE IT!!!/*I stayed with him & his MOTHER IN JUNE, So i know 1st hand, that he ain't around GUNs AND THE GOONS, it's lies-brother, Only “rap sheet” he got is that “hip hop blanket” he *hides-under when I'd COME IN THE ROOM!!.*Now he acts bigheaded but comes DULL IN MANY CLASHES?, I don't care if his SKULL IS VERY MASSIVE.. I repo-Ego's and “Beys'll get cut down to size” with out CULINARY CLASSES!. (Basil)

here i got you bruh....
















- wack

[reEFer]

Originally Posted by Dissizit

@Erupt ... peep that

vs. Obey

Who the fuck brung LASSE TO DOG FIGHT? He couldn't keep “grounded” wearing sneakers with the SHABBY LACROSSE SPIKES I'm Psycho!, the HAPPY FOR WAR TYPE But thinkin you're “Nuts, Get a grip” you'd rather ASK ME TO COUGH TWICE!....*He's on letsbeef all day!, Eyes red, dry mouth, Parched in a bliss. Tryna give out “rap advice” but ain't Harsh with the spits, *funny how “Bey a net buffer” But'll never be Sharp with the Tips! (bayonet)*<-- while Punches i THROW ERASE TEAMS, & I figured since O's “thinking, Caps Off” I'd kill him with a*LOWER CASE SCHEME!. *Rap skills? i SHOWED YOU THE BASICS... then the way you “Called it quits” it seemed PHONE BOOTH RELATED Them “Ciao lines” was enough to rival SOUL FOOD ARRANGEMENTS! (chow) ... O, we KNOW YOU ASHAMED WITH the fact your “Crafts missing!” But even FOLKS WHO's MALAYSIAN would HOPE YOU EMBRACE IT!!!/*I stayed with him & his MOTHER IN JUNE, So i know 1st hand, that he ain't around GUNs AND THE GOONS, it's lies-brother, Only “rap sheet” he got is that “hip hop blanket” he *hides-under when I'd COME IN THE ROOM!!.*Now he acts bigheaded but comes DULL IN MANY CLASHES?, I don't care if his SKULL IS VERY MASSIVE.. I repo-Ego's and “Beys'll get cut down to size” with out CULINARY CLASSES!. (Basil)

here i got you bruh....
















- wack