MILK IS BASIC: Discussion on the Fluidity of Liquids & the Strong Stance of Solids.

[S A L T]

I informally made a complaint to the user @The EtHer under the presumption that we have compatible views in verse as we share pretty similar personalities. I did not get the resolution to the complaint that I expected, as reinforced by the highly ranked Fair Voting Club member and respected veteran of LB, @Celsius.

I have an existential problem with my battle verse making that has seemed to detach from the perspectives of my fellow battle/voting peers. As an aspiring artist I seek to address this confusion and evaluate it in a critical manner I can rationalize and progress in.

Link to the battle MaCc Tha Godd vs MILK:
http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=494630


Discourse: I'd consider my style a "Casual & Witty" style. One that should be written, read, and reflected as a low effort, conceptual verse. Ready relaxed, with a focus on delivery and creativity. Text battles aren't to beats, they are acapella. They can deviate from a supremely strict poetic structure. This isn't the 16th century.


Celsius's Vote Expo:

"L'er had multies that were so slanted they became broken in parts"

List of my multies:

• (going Places, Huh?) & Claiming yourself a Godd? & Name’ll Ever Drop

  Syllables: 5, 6, 5. Rhymes: Places, Claiming, Name'll & Huh, Godd, Drop.
  

  A casual "intro, set-up, jab". While the first emphasizes syllable, the second emphasizes rhyme. All 3 of those are not that slanted and the inner-rhymes, although slanted, are easy to fall into scheme as they aren't as dominant when casually read within the structure of the multi.

• DOLLAR MENU & LARGEST VENUE

  Syllables: 3, 3. Rhymes: Dollar, Largest & Menu, Venue

  Dollar & Largest are textbook slant rhymes, but again are in the inside of the structure. Emphasize lies on Menu & Venue which are textook rhyme rhymes.

• NOTHING TO YOU & BUTTERED NOODLES

  Syllables: 4,4 Rhymes: Nothing, Buttered & To You, Noodles

  This was a filler line. In deed a slant rhyme, but not that broken of a multi. Sorry if you pronounce it differently. It emphasizes the inner rhyme as a balance to the out references.

• Godd’s Supreme Diction & Knock His Teeth Missin

  Syllables: 5, 5. Rhymes: Godd, Knock & Supreme, His Teeth & Diction, Missin

  Again, slant rhymes, not broken multies. They read well. Maybe broken if you're really that poetically legal about your rhymes (which is no fun).

• (BIG & TOUGH?) & MICRO-SOFT & PRETEND HE’S GOD

  Syllables: 3, 3, 4. Rhymes: Big And, Pretend & Soft, God

  Another "intro, set-up, jab" sequence balancing emphasis on rhyme & syllable count. One that ends on a deviated note but stays constent with the delivery & flow. Again, are you guys really that nazi about slant rhymes? Wtf, you must absolutely hate a shit fucking ton of popular rap songs/artists.

• (MOMS THAT SMART) & JUST A LAUGHING STOCK

• (MARCH MACc TO THE TOP) & WATCH THE APPLE DROP.

  Syllables: 3, 5, 5, 5. Rhymes: Moms That, March Macc, Watch The & Laughing Stock, Apple Drop.

  Another casual "Intro, set-up, set-up, jab" And again, not that broken. The "The" in "Watch The" is the only broken aspect and is greatly assisted by the strong pronouncation of the "A"pple sound. Intro deviates as a set-up for the impending multi. This was the sketchiest one, but hardly one that renders a verse deserving bellow a "Not Bad" rating.

Any other rhymes, almost rhymed within the multis by coincidence because I'm an overachiever and like to play with alliteration and the components of language. Maybe it's a pronunciation problem? Or just an extremely deviated perspective, on my part, from what most consider a sound slant rhyme.

"noticably bad wordplay in spots"

List of my (technical) wordplay:

• *MICRO-SOFT* for Microsoft. (after "BIG & TOUGH?")
  

  Micro means not big. Soft means not tough. It's not bad wordplay, it's a set up that quite literally is the same word as the word I'm playing with. Not even emphasized in the punch and in fact referenced as corny in the verse; do we discourage slight lousy humor?

• *PCing* for Piecing
  

  A little forced, but not that much of a stretch. Hardly "noticeably bad" and it was a pretty effective personal name-play punch that utilized relevant concepts imo. You guys are like seeking for shit not to work, try it out as if it were to work and see how that sounds. Think of it as if it were audio...you have to find the sound. You're the reader. Don't be a lazy voter mr. FVC.

The concepts behind the non-technical wordplay wasn't even that bad either and utilized at base decently creative and easily grippable concepts compared to some of the heavy hitter's verses I've read on this site. In fact, it was a nameplay battle so it should've been pretty abundant. Maybe some of the concepts went over your head.

Here's an example of the opponent's wordplay:

• *Milk! If MaCc Needs Ya?* for "Milk of Magnesia"
• *Invite Him In The* for "-Vitamin D"
  

  Parallel to mine if not "noticeably" worse...

"and light jabs"

Again, it's a nameplay battle buddy. There's restrictions. Every punch was at his name. Each of use through roughly 4 punches, and mine were very much more direct, personal, and developed compared to his. Re-read the battle.

"...however i do see potential. Winner wasn't much better, a lil cleaner multies and a bit better wordplay and puns"

You be the judge of that. I personally disagree and think that's a dumb fucking statement but every thing is tastes and preferences I guess. Cel, do you like country?


EtH's Vote Expo:

"Milk, felt the flow was choppy (because of rhyming like dollar/largest) on the first line."

Again, with the slant rhyme shaming. There's more to it than DOL to LAR & LAR to EST. There's that intermingling of "Lar" that's actually suppose to smoothen the flow & heighten delivery within the infrastructure of the multi. These were the inner rhymes, not the emphasis of the rhyme itself which fell on MENU & VENUE. Is that a good enough rhyme for you EtH?

"I don't really get the punchline overall anyways. You'll turn him into buttered noodles? Okay...? Also, what did buttered noodles rhyme with? In your next part, you're capitalizing a lot of non rhyming shit.

Capitalization doesn't have to always highlight the exact rhymes. Do you scrutinize rappers who don't use caps at all? You should know, some respected old LB vets (in KoS days), though they utilized it, would often scrutinize actually using Caps and Dashes to aesthetically decorate your verse.

Here's the relevant part of the punch: "I Knock His Teeth Missin & turn MaCc 'n Cheeeese into BUTTERED NOODLES """

Do you not know what Mac & Cheese is? It's cheese and noodles. MaCc can't cheese with no Teeth, as I knocked them out, just leaving him with noodles. Mac is noodles. Cheese means smile. Is that really too advanced for you? No shit you don't like reading battles, I even gave you a frowny face for a hint. It also rhymed with "Nothing To You" which when read isn't too bad, but I will at least admit that there is substance for argument there—just really conservative imo.

Microsoft and Pretend he's god is a one word rhyme, soft and god, the other stuff couldn't be in caps. You're not delivering your punches at the end of the lines either for some reason either.

This is typical structure Nazi-ism. Not only are you stuck in some conservative structure for all verses, which is limiting and narrow minded and not-innovative, you're trying to aesthetically create these rhymes solely on punctuation rather than personal readability and interpretation. Dude just read the verse casually and let it flow. It's not completely governed by the punctuation alone, this isn't an essay, it's prose, it's a verse... I capped STATEMENTS I wanted to make. Not the corresponding rhymes. And I'll cap whatever fucking rhymes I want to. Read it, not visually interpret it dip-shit it's not a picture in a frame, it's letters on a screen.

"The end of your microsoft play was the "PCing himself together" (bad punch) but you somehow ended it with a statement like "He pretend's he's a god" which isn't a punchline."

Again, the PCing as a bad punch is taste & prefs and I can definitely see that interpretation. But it wasn't a punch, it was a set up for the finishing "He pretends he's a god" which is a punchline...lol. Like I said, nameplay was the agreed concept of the battle. It can be restrictive in terms of concepts and I rolled withe MaCc's rival ..the PC and incorporated it with the fact he has "Tha Godd" in his name. Claiming someone pretends they're a god, is another way of calling them a self-absorbed narcissist. If you don't get that I'm sure you and Kanye are meant for each other.

"You'll take him to his family tree and watch the apple drop. Does this mean you're gonna either watch him be born, or watch his child be born? I'm pretty sure the apple dropping in that metaphor is like birth, and where the apple drops is relevant to your personality and characteristics (dropping close being relative to your parents)."

Here's the relevant punch so I can spell yet another thing out for you:

Even your MOMS THAT SMART; you're JUST A LAUGHING STOCK. I'll MARCH MACc TO THE TOP of his Family Tree And WATCH THE APPLE DROP.

Notice I mention that his mom is smart ("relevant to your personality and characteristics"—that's the one EtH). The saying, "The apple [B]doesn't[/I] fall far from the tree" is a very common expression used for describing similarities b/w parents and child. Him dropping from said tree resembles how far away from the smartness of his mom he is. His smart mom that I referenced doesn't believe in him. And btw APPLE is the company that makes Macs. You're not even contemplating the punches, you're just skimming for recognizable basic punches. That's why this place stays generic and you're hard for simple conservative verse structures.

"Anyways, I'm not really into anything of the verse. Felt the rhyming is way to basic at just one syllable rhymes and the punchlines aren't really existent."

One syllable rhymes is clearly not the case. It's multie's that utilize alliteration, syllables, and often slant rhymes for the execution of the delivery. One read of this is an obvious and blatant display of not one syllable rhymes though there may be 1 or 2 in filler space.

:grass:

Anyways, you're generic, lazy readers. I realize it's hard to convey over text battles, but it's not that hard. While I understand your guy's input in most areas, it's completely under mining, unprogressive, and lazy. This is why you spend most of your time on an online battling site that no one cares about anymore.

MaCc congrats on your win. You had like one really original and creative punch in there that I appreciated but overall solid verse. I just must honestly say, I disagree with the bulk of LB on their ignorance to innovative poetics/verse making.

I trust my ability to comprehend a verse and interpret it's delivery. Excusing the verse is nothing short of lazy as you don't experiment with finding it's proper flow. I caught 1 maybe 2 maximum little hiccups that I excused as enough to top the opposing verse. It's not hard to flow an acapella. Read it casually by sentence.

Open to rebuttal, I'm opinionated only because I've studied this & confident, but hey I'm open minded I guess.

[S A L T]

I informally made a complaint to the user @The EtHer under the presumption that we have compatible views in verse as we share pretty similar personalities. I did not get the resolution to the complaint that I expected, as reinforced by the highly ranked Fair Voting Club member and respected veteran of LB, @Celsius.

I have an existential problem with my battle verse making that has seemed to detach from the perspectives of my fellow battle/voting peers. As an aspiring artist I seek to address this confusion and evaluate it in a critical manner I can rationalize and progress in.

Link to the battle MaCc Tha Godd vs MILK:
http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=494630


Discourse: I'd consider my style a "Casual & Witty" style. One that should be written, read, and reflected as a low effort, conceptual verse. Ready relaxed, with a focus on delivery and creativity. Text battles aren't to beats, they are acapella. They can deviate from a supremely strict poetic structure. This isn't the 16th century.


Celsius's Vote Expo:

"L'er had multies that were so slanted they became broken in parts"

List of my multies:

• (going Places, Huh?) & Claiming yourself a Godd? & Name’ll Ever Drop

  Syllables: 5, 6, 5. Rhymes: Places, Claiming, Name'll & Huh, Godd, Drop.
  

  A casual "intro, set-up, jab". While the first emphasizes syllable, the second emphasizes rhyme. All 3 of those are not that slanted and the inner-rhymes, although slanted, are easy to fall into scheme as they aren't as dominant when casually read within the structure of the multi.

• DOLLAR MENU & LARGEST VENUE

  Syllables: 3, 3. Rhymes: Dollar, Largest & Menu, Venue

  Dollar & Largest are textbook slant rhymes, but again are in the inside of the structure. Emphasize lies on Menu & Venue which are textook rhyme rhymes.

• NOTHING TO YOU & BUTTERED NOODLES

  Syllables: 4,4 Rhymes: Nothing, Buttered & To You, Noodles

  This was a filler line. In deed a slant rhyme, but not that broken of a multi. Sorry if you pronounce it differently. It emphasizes the inner rhyme as a balance to the out references.

• Godd’s Supreme Diction & Knock His Teeth Missin

  Syllables: 5, 5. Rhymes: Godd, Knock & Supreme, His Teeth & Diction, Missin

  Again, slant rhymes, not broken multies. They read well. Maybe broken if you're really that poetically legal about your rhymes (which is no fun).

• (BIG & TOUGH?) & MICRO-SOFT & PRETEND HE’S GOD

  Syllables: 3, 3, 4. Rhymes: Big And, Pretend & Soft, God

  Another "intro, set-up, jab" sequence balancing emphasis on rhyme & syllable count. One that ends on a deviated note but stays constent with the delivery & flow. Again, are you guys really that nazi about slant rhymes? Wtf, you must absolutely hate a shit fucking ton of popular rap songs/artists.

• (MOMS THAT SMART) & JUST A LAUGHING STOCK

• (MARCH MACc TO THE TOP) & WATCH THE APPLE DROP.

  Syllables: 3, 5, 5, 5. Rhymes: Moms That, March Macc, Watch The & Laughing Stock, Apple Drop.

  Another casual "Intro, set-up, set-up, jab" And again, not that broken. The "The" in "Watch The" is the only broken aspect and is greatly assisted by the strong pronouncation of the "A"pple sound. Intro deviates as a set-up for the impending multi. This was the sketchiest one, but hardly one that renders a verse deserving bellow a "Not Bad" rating.

Any other rhymes, almost rhymed within the multis by coincidence because I'm an overachiever and like to play with alliteration and the components of language. Maybe it's a pronunciation problem? Or just an extremely deviated perspective, on my part, from what most consider a sound slant rhyme.

"noticably bad wordplay in spots"

List of my (technical) wordplay:

• *MICRO-SOFT* for Microsoft. (after "BIG & TOUGH?")
  

  Micro means not big. Soft means not tough. It's not bad wordplay, it's a set up that quite literally is the same word as the word I'm playing with. Not even emphasized in the punch and in fact referenced as corny in the verse; do we discourage slight lousy humor?

• *PCing* for Piecing
  

  A little forced, but not that much of a stretch. Hardly "noticeably bad" and it was a pretty effective personal name-play punch that utilized relevant concepts imo. You guys are like seeking for shit not to work, try it out as if it were to work and see how that sounds. Think of it as if it were audio...you have to find the sound. You're the reader. Don't be a lazy voter mr. FVC.

The concepts behind the non-technical wordplay wasn't even that bad either and utilized at base decently creative and easily grippable concepts compared to some of the heavy hitter's verses I've read on this site. In fact, it was a nameplay battle so it should've been pretty abundant. Maybe some of the concepts went over your head.

Here's an example of the opponent's wordplay:

• *Milk! If MaCc Needs Ya?* for "Milk of Magnesia"
• *Invite Him In The* for "-Vitamin D"
  

  Parallel to mine if not "noticeably" worse...

"and light jabs"

Again, it's a nameplay battle buddy. There's restrictions. Every punch was at his name. Each of use through roughly 4 punches, and mine were very much more direct, personal, and developed compared to his. Re-read the battle.

"...however i do see potential. Winner wasn't much better, a lil cleaner multies and a bit better wordplay and puns"

You be the judge of that. I personally disagree and think that's a dumb fucking statement but every thing is tastes and preferences I guess. Cel, do you like country?


EtH's Vote Expo:

"Milk, felt the flow was choppy (because of rhyming like dollar/largest) on the first line."

Again, with the slant rhyme shaming. There's more to it than DOL to LAR & LAR to EST. There's that intermingling of "Lar" that's actually suppose to smoothen the flow & heighten delivery within the infrastructure of the multi. These were the inner rhymes, not the emphasis of the rhyme itself which fell on MENU & VENUE. Is that a good enough rhyme for you EtH?

"I don't really get the punchline overall anyways. You'll turn him into buttered noodles? Okay...? Also, what did buttered noodles rhyme with? In your next part, you're capitalizing a lot of non rhyming shit.

Capitalization doesn't have to always highlight the exact rhymes. Do you scrutinize rappers who don't use caps at all? You should know, some respected old LB vets (in KoS days), though they utilized it, would often scrutinize actually using Caps and Dashes to aesthetically decorate your verse.

Here's the relevant part of the punch: "I Knock His Teeth Missin & turn MaCc 'n Cheeeese into BUTTERED NOODLES """

Do you not know what Mac & Cheese is? It's cheese and noodles. MaCc can't cheese with no Teeth, as I knocked them out, just leaving him with noodles. Mac is noodles. Cheese means smile. Is that really too advanced for you? No shit you don't like reading battles, I even gave you a frowny face for a hint. It also rhymed with "Nothing To You" which when read isn't too bad, but I will at least admit that there is substance for argument there—just really conservative imo.

Microsoft and Pretend he's god is a one word rhyme, soft and god, the other stuff couldn't be in caps. You're not delivering your punches at the end of the lines either for some reason either.

This is typical structure Nazi-ism. Not only are you stuck in some conservative structure for all verses, which is limiting and narrow minded and not-innovative, you're trying to aesthetically create these rhymes solely on punctuation rather than personal readability and interpretation. Dude just read the verse casually and let it flow. It's not completely governed by the punctuation alone, this isn't an essay, it's prose, it's a verse... I capped STATEMENTS I wanted to make. Not the corresponding rhymes. And I'll cap whatever fucking rhymes I want to. Read it, not visually interpret it dip-shit it's not a picture in a frame, it's letters on a screen.

"The end of your microsoft play was the "PCing himself together" (bad punch) but you somehow ended it with a statement like "He pretend's he's a god" which isn't a punchline."

Again, the PCing as a bad punch is taste & prefs and I can definitely see that interpretation. But it wasn't a punch, it was a set up for the finishing "He pretends he's a god" which is a punchline...lol. Like I said, nameplay was the agreed concept of the battle. It can be restrictive in terms of concepts and I rolled withe MaCc's rival ..the PC and incorporated it with the fact he has "Tha Godd" in his name. Claiming someone pretends they're a god, is another way of calling them a self-absorbed narcissist. If you don't get that I'm sure you and Kanye are meant for each other.

"You'll take him to his family tree and watch the apple drop. Does this mean you're gonna either watch him be born, or watch his child be born? I'm pretty sure the apple dropping in that metaphor is like birth, and where the apple drops is relevant to your personality and characteristics (dropping close being relative to your parents)."

Here's the relevant punch so I can spell yet another thing out for you:

Even your MOMS THAT SMART; you're JUST A LAUGHING STOCK. I'll MARCH MACc TO THE TOP of his Family Tree And WATCH THE APPLE DROP.

Notice I mention that his mom is smart ("relevant to your personality and characteristics"—that's the one EtH). The saying, "The apple [B]doesn't[/I] fall far from the tree" is a very common expression used for describing similarities b/w parents and child. Him dropping from said tree resembles how far away from the smartness of his mom he is. His smart mom that I referenced doesn't believe in him. And btw APPLE is the company that makes Macs. You're not even contemplating the punches, you're just skimming for recognizable basic punches. That's why this place stays generic and you're hard for simple conservative verse structures.

"Anyways, I'm not really into anything of the verse. Felt the rhyming is way to basic at just one syllable rhymes and the punchlines aren't really existent."

One syllable rhymes is clearly not the case. It's multie's that utilize alliteration, syllables, and often slant rhymes for the execution of the delivery. One read of this is an obvious and blatant display of not one syllable rhymes though there may be 1 or 2 in filler space.

:grass:

Anyways, you're generic, lazy readers. I realize it's hard to convey over text battles, but it's not that hard. While I understand your guy's input in most areas, it's completely under mining, unprogressive, and lazy. This is why you spend most of your time on an online battling site that no one cares about anymore.

MaCc congrats on your win. You had like one really original and creative punch in there that I appreciated but overall solid verse. I just must honestly say, I disagree with the bulk of LB on their ignorance to innovative poetics/verse making.

I trust my ability to comprehend a verse and interpret it's delivery. Excusing the verse is nothing short of lazy as you don't experiment with finding it's proper flow. I caught 1 maybe 2 maximum little hiccups that I excused as enough to top the opposing verse. It's not hard to flow an acapella. Read it casually by sentence.

Open to rebuttal, I'm opinionated only because I've studied this & confident, but hey I'm open minded I guess.

I never said you were basic, though I stand by my vote. PC-ING and piecing don't work as PC-ING would have 3 syllables while piecing would have two...Microsoft wordplay has been done to death ...some of your multi es were broken... coming from someone who uses slant rhymes to the max at times..and a broken multi doesn't just have to be mismatched syllables it can be words that sound nothing alike ...

I never said you were basic, though I stand by my vote. PC-ING and piecing don't work as PC-ING would have 3 syllables while piecing would have two...Microsoft wordplay has been done to death ...some of your multi es were broken... coming from someone who uses slant rhymes to the max at times..and a broken multi doesn't just have to be mismatched syllables it can be words that sound nothing alike ...

[Looksemoh]

Bro, this happens to me every other battle, and I just go "meh whatever I'll let the verse speak for itself and keep killing it in my next match." The fact that you actually went to the trouble of writing a lengthy, thinly-veiled pseudo-intellectual hate letter to multiple voters AND the entire site because you disagreed with a couple comments you received on one particular battle is astonishing.

[Looksemoh]

Bro, this happens to me every other battle, and I just go "meh whatever I'll let the verse speak for itself and keep killing it in my next match." The fact that you actually went to the trouble of writing a lengthy, thinly-veiled pseudo-intellectual hate letter to multiple voters AND the entire site because you disagreed with a couple comments you received on one particular battle is astonishing.

[ILLoKWENT]

@M I L K ,,this thread is like saying everyone looks interprets you as a man, because you look , dress, talk, like a man, but you yell out, but 'i feel like a woman' so there fore im a woman..lol


anyway, theres nothing wrong with 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and i agree that LB at times , or with a few people, are really nazi when it comes to slant rhymes,, even daddio at one point spoke about it in his bars.. it goes down to what is the stressed vowel sounds that should be emphasized or heard when read out.. and for one thing, from setup to concept to punchline shouldnt require a huge paragraph to describe/explain the metaphor your tryin to convey,,they should be fairly easy to grasp because majority of LB are casual readers, that want the instant gratification of a good concept, and identifiable flip, .. which then goes back to setup which should be one fluent idea that is realized,concludes in the punchline.. this is the example ive used that i read in 05, on GOLDMIC..
I bet you never had a girl, wit that TALENT YOU GOT,
so you only 'imaginin pussy', like CALVIN AND HOBBES/

as you can see, the two lines are one cohesive idea, that doesnt require a million 'quoted references' to see where the idea was goin.. theres a basic foundation that still needs to be maintained, regardless of how artistic, or stylistic, ones approach tries to convey... yes its a rigid, tried and true formula, but it also is a fundamentally sound approach, that will garner the easiest comprehension... not everyone here wants to scrutinize any obscure or even subtle meanings that may have missed a well trained eye, so to appease more of the masses, sometimes you gotta adapt to fit in, otherwise youll stand out for all the wrong reasons..same goes with underground rappers, or dudes like canibus, who lyrically were ahead of their time, yet monetarily didnt garner much success, due to the unorthadox content.. etc... im not disagreein on your stance cause i can see a few points you bring up, but at the same time, i agree with the others on a few of your multi choices... which were mismatched at times ,and some were a bit too slanted or the stressed sounds didnt jive as well flowwise.. multis imo, are nice to have because when done correctly by anyone, produce a nice flow to what your reading, but it shouldnt be a gamebreaker to someone who has one syllable multis, but relavent setups and stronger punches... multis are just that, a tool to accentuate flow... battles are designed for mainly one thing, to accentuate hard punchlines, clever disses, that utilize personification, alliteration, metaphors, similes, wordplay, etc.etc..etc... the main thing i try to compare is punches first and foremost, if they are even, then i look at relavence in setup, then finally multi usage and structure,,.... and capping is up to the writer where he wants to emphasize, but due to the medium, which is text, its just more practical to cap only complete multis,.. to emphasize where they start and end, .. and yes on audio, dudes do that all the time, droppin a 4 syllable multi, then matchin it up wit a 5, but we're not doin audio, its text, which is more visual and technical, and its better practice to keep multis at ther very least matching....because multis produce a certain rhythm and timing to a person that reads it,(hence flow) and throwin a hard soundin word in between or adding an extra word, throws the timing off, hence the mismatch...

[ILLoKWENT]

@M I L K ,,this thread is like saying everyone looks interprets you as a man, because you look , dress, talk, like a man, but you yell out, but 'i feel like a woman' so there fore im a woman..lol


anyway, theres nothing wrong with 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and i agree that LB at times , or with a few people, are really nazi when it comes to slant rhymes,, even daddio at one point spoke about it in his bars.. it goes down to what is the stressed vowel sounds that should be emphasized or heard when read out.. and for one thing, from setup to concept to punchline shouldnt require a huge paragraph to describe/explain the metaphor your tryin to convey,,they should be fairly easy to grasp because majority of LB are casual readers, that want the instant gratification of a good concept, and identifiable flip, .. which then goes back to setup which should be one fluent idea that is realized,concludes in the punchline.. this is the example ive used that i read in 05, on GOLDMIC..
I bet you never had a girl, wit that TALENT YOU GOT,
so you only 'imaginin pussy', like CALVIN AND HOBBES/

as you can see, the two lines are one cohesive idea, that doesnt require a million 'quoted references' to see where the idea was goin.. theres a basic foundation that still needs to be maintained, regardless of how artistic, or stylistic, ones approach tries to convey... yes its a rigid, tried and true formula, but it also is a fundamentally sound approach, that will garner the easiest comprehension... not everyone here wants to scrutinize any obscure or even subtle meanings that may have missed a well trained eye, so to appease more of the masses, sometimes you gotta adapt to fit in, otherwise youll stand out for all the wrong reasons..same goes with underground rappers, or dudes like canibus, who lyrically were ahead of their time, yet monetarily didnt garner much success, due to the unorthadox content.. etc... im not disagreein on your stance cause i can see a few points you bring up, but at the same time, i agree with the others on a few of your multi choices... which were mismatched at times ,and some were a bit too slanted or the stressed sounds didnt jive as well flowwise.. multis imo, are nice to have because when done correctly by anyone, produce a nice flow to what your reading, but it shouldnt be a gamebreaker to someone who has one syllable multis, but relavent setups and stronger punches... multis are just that, a tool to accentuate flow... battles are designed for mainly one thing, to accentuate hard punchlines, clever disses, that utilize personification, alliteration, metaphors, similes, wordplay, etc.etc..etc... the main thing i try to compare is punches first and foremost, if they are even, then i look at relavence in setup, then finally multi usage and structure,,.... and capping is up to the writer where he wants to emphasize, but due to the medium, which is text, its just more practical to cap only complete multis,.. to emphasize where they start and end, .. and yes on audio, dudes do that all the time, droppin a 4 syllable multi, then matchin it up wit a 5, but we're not doin audio, its text, which is more visual and technical, and its better practice to keep multis at ther very least matching....because multis produce a certain rhythm and timing to a person that reads it,(hence flow) and throwin a hard soundin word in between or adding an extra word, throws the timing off, hence the mismatch...

1. I can't rhyme Largest and Dollar in any aspect what so ever. It's not even close. Menu and Venue is fine.

2. Capitalization on LB is a signal for rhyming. The reason this is done because we write in a literal box, with no clear end of lines. So we have always capped the rhymes so people will be able to pick up on the rhyme scheme they would typically expect at the end of a line. The only reason we cap things in there is for the purpose of rhyming. If something is capped that isn't a rhyme, we're conditioned to hit those words hard as though they are rhymes. When they aren't connected to anything, and you're hitting them hard, that will make the flow choppy.

3. Mac is short for macaroni, which isn't noodles, for the record. Cheese also doesn't mean smile. "Cheeser" would be the word you'd look for. You would never know what I meant if I said someone was "cheesing at me" or "this guy cheesed on the street". You'd think it's got something to do with a penis most likely. Also, predicting your retort, the reason people say cheese in photographs isn't because that means smile, it's because the facial expression when saying the word replications that of a smile. Cheese doesn't mean smile. Also, not having teeth doesn't mean you can't smile.

4. You are trying to "change the structure" but are getting pissed off if someone says they hate it. If I said I loved your structure, you'd be delighted. You can't get pissed off about this because you are actively trying to change it. You have to accept that you might not be changing it to something better, in the case of this verse....it's much MUCH worse.

5. "He claims he's a god" isn't a punchline. That's like me saying "This guy thinks he's dope but his name is Milk". Yes, he DOES claim he's a god....what about it? You going to insult him over it or just inform us of what his username is?

6. You said nothing about the distance in which the apple drops. You said you were going to watch where the apple drops....what if it drops close? Is he then a genius? You never said any of that. Also, sure, Apple make Macs...so what? You just added the word apple in and assume that somehow makes it a punch? If you said "He doesn't have jobs" does that now mean it's a punch relating to Steve Jobs? You actually have to relate Apple and Mac to something for it to be relevant.




Milk, just consider the situation here. You ASKED me to check your battle. I have absolutely no reason what so ever to have bias towards either writer. Most of the site that would remember would consider me to be one of the better voters around here. So when you consider these things...don't you think that YOU could be the one being biased towards your own verse?

You're here "explaining" the punches. You know why you're explaining them? They weren't clear what so ever. That's your fault. If you write stuff that the readers don't get, you can't blame them. You have to look at your verse and realize that it's too convoluted and as a result, you're fucking up everything you're trying to do.

Your flow was bad. Your rhyming was basic. You tried 500 things with each punch but didn't deliver 1 of those 500 things well. You're trying to create a new format of writing which isn't working out what so ever. You don't realize WHY people might format their verse a specific way to begin with. And essentially, this entire thread proves that until you assess your rhymes critically from an outside perspective you'll never improve. You're going to keep blaming the voters every time and act like it's their fault if your verse isn't connecting with them (see Lizman for more details). It's YOUR fault that I never felt your punches, or that your flow put me off, or that I didn't connect one or two things together. YOU. You're trying to get me to vote for you in this battle, so you have to cater to the voters or be prepared to lose.

Sometimes when I wrote topicals, I'd write insanely hidden messages and have the entire piece working two ways that next to no one would pick up on. I can't then bring this into a contest and be pissed off that they didn't get my second meaning. If you want to do shit like that, go and make a cypher. In a battle, you have to write dope punches that the readers are going to connect with along a solid flow. That's it. Until you are able to do that, keep your moaning threads to a minimum and realize that it's not our fault that you're inferior.

1. I can't rhyme Largest and Dollar in any aspect what so ever. It's not even close. Menu and Venue is fine.

2. Capitalization on LB is a signal for rhyming. The reason this is done because we write in a literal box, with no clear end of lines. So we have always capped the rhymes so people will be able to pick up on the rhyme scheme they would typically expect at the end of a line. The only reason we cap things in there is for the purpose of rhyming. If something is capped that isn't a rhyme, we're conditioned to hit those words hard as though they are rhymes. When they aren't connected to anything, and you're hitting them hard, that will make the flow choppy.

3. Mac is short for macaroni, which isn't noodles, for the record. Cheese also doesn't mean smile. "Cheeser" would be the word you'd look for. You would never know what I meant if I said someone was "cheesing at me" or "this guy cheesed on the street". You'd think it's got something to do with a penis most likely. Also, predicting your retort, the reason people say cheese in photographs isn't because that means smile, it's because the facial expression when saying the word replications that of a smile. Cheese doesn't mean smile. Also, not having teeth doesn't mean you can't smile.

4. You are trying to "change the structure" but are getting pissed off if someone says they hate it. If I said I loved your structure, you'd be delighted. You can't get pissed off about this because you are actively trying to change it. You have to accept that you might not be changing it to something better, in the case of this verse....it's much MUCH worse.

5. "He claims he's a god" isn't a punchline. That's like me saying "This guy thinks he's dope but his name is Milk". Yes, he DOES claim he's a god....what about it? You going to insult him over it or just inform us of what his username is?

6. You said nothing about the distance in which the apple drops. You said you were going to watch where the apple drops....what if it drops close? Is he then a genius? You never said any of that. Also, sure, Apple make Macs...so what? You just added the word apple in and assume that somehow makes it a punch? If you said "He doesn't have jobs" does that now mean it's a punch relating to Steve Jobs? You actually have to relate Apple and Mac to something for it to be relevant.




Milk, just consider the situation here. You ASKED me to check your battle. I have absolutely no reason what so ever to have bias towards either writer. Most of the site that would remember would consider me to be one of the better voters around here. So when you consider these things...don't you think that YOU could be the one being biased towards your own verse?

You're here "explaining" the punches. You know why you're explaining them? They weren't clear what so ever. That's your fault. If you write stuff that the readers don't get, you can't blame them. You have to look at your verse and realize that it's too convoluted and as a result, you're fucking up everything you're trying to do.

Your flow was bad. Your rhyming was basic. You tried 500 things with each punch but didn't deliver 1 of those 500 things well. You're trying to create a new format of writing which isn't working out what so ever. You don't realize WHY people might format their verse a specific way to begin with. And essentially, this entire thread proves that until you assess your rhymes critically from an outside perspective you'll never improve. You're going to keep blaming the voters every time and act like it's their fault if your verse isn't connecting with them (see Lizman for more details). It's YOUR fault that I never felt your punches, or that your flow put me off, or that I didn't connect one or two things together. YOU. You're trying to get me to vote for you in this battle, so you have to cater to the voters or be prepared to lose.

Sometimes when I wrote topicals, I'd write insanely hidden messages and have the entire piece working two ways that next to no one would pick up on. I can't then bring this into a contest and be pissed off that they didn't get my second meaning. If you want to do shit like that, go and make a cypher. In a battle, you have to write dope punches that the readers are going to connect with along a solid flow. That's it. Until you are able to do that, keep your moaning threads to a minimum and realize that it's not our fault that you're inferior.

so.much.werds

so.much.werds

[S A L T]

Originally Posted by Celsius

I never said you were basic, though I stand by my vote. PC-ING and piecing don't work as PC-ING would have 3 syllables while piecing would have two...Microsoft wordplay has been done to death ...some of your multi es were broken... coming from someone who uses slant rhymes to the max at times..and a broken multi doesn't just have to be mismatched syllables it can be words that sound nothing alike ...

I never said you said I was basic you fuckin unit of temperture. It's a creative title for the damn post. Oh jeezus, I know the blatant syllable count, just be a little open minded for the sake of the punch. I'm not arguing on the micro-soft shit anymore, you're 100% right on that one, that's why I said it was cliche in my verse I knew I fucked up.

The words sound enough a like I think. But I know you might have trouble pronouncing L's and other types of english stuff.

Yo why is the website so fucking slow right now. My netflix and porn are running fine but this shit is glitching and pissing me off. I'd reply to all the messages in one message but idk how so I'ma quote them and if a mod @ILLoKWENT could like mesh them all together? I hope thats easy. Thats a interesting name btw, but you should spell it less like a middle schooler.

That emoji wasnt some fucking joke btw I'm feeling some type of way :grass: (:

---------- Post added at 01:34 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:28 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Homeskool

Bro, this happens to me every other battle, and I just go "meh whatever I'll let the verse speak for itself and keep killing it in my next match." The fact that you actually went to the trouble of writing a lengthy, thinly-veiled pseudo-intellectual hate letter to multiple voters AND the entire site because you disagreed with a couple comments you received on one particular battle is astonishing.

Hahaha this made me laugh for like 7 minutes no joke. That was funny af. Fuck you, what do you know about pseudo-intellectual you homeskooled twat. You can't even spell the facility of education right.

No but no joke, it dead ass took me a half hour to write. And I was gonna like go into EtH's old battles and find slant rhymes and shit but that would've been time consuming. This new Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon Sword of Desitiny shit isn't as good as I thought. It's not bad though.

Can you believe I made only one formatting error in that shit? I didn't even preview it first.

[S A L T]

Originally Posted by Celsius

I never said you were basic, though I stand by my vote. PC-ING and piecing don't work as PC-ING would have 3 syllables while piecing would have two...Microsoft wordplay has been done to death ...some of your multi es were broken... coming from someone who uses slant rhymes to the max at times..and a broken multi doesn't just have to be mismatched syllables it can be words that sound nothing alike ...

I never said you said I was basic you fuckin unit of temperture. It's a creative title for the damn post. Oh jeezus, I know the blatant syllable count, just be a little open minded for the sake of the punch. I'm not arguing on the micro-soft shit anymore, you're 100% right on that one, that's why I said it was cliche in my verse I knew I fucked up.

The words sound enough a like I think. But I know you might have trouble pronouncing L's and other types of english stuff.

Yo why is the website so fucking slow right now. My netflix and porn are running fine but this shit is glitching and pissing me off. I'd reply to all the messages in one message but idk how so I'ma quote them and if a mod @ILLoKWENT could like mesh them all together? I hope thats easy. Thats a interesting name btw, but you should spell it less like a middle schooler.

That emoji wasnt some fucking joke btw I'm feeling some type of way :grass: (:

---------- Post added at 01:34 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:28 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Homeskool

Bro, this happens to me every other battle, and I just go "meh whatever I'll let the verse speak for itself and keep killing it in my next match." The fact that you actually went to the trouble of writing a lengthy, thinly-veiled pseudo-intellectual hate letter to multiple voters AND the entire site because you disagreed with a couple comments you received on one particular battle is astonishing.

Hahaha this made me laugh for like 7 minutes no joke. That was funny af. Fuck you, what do you know about pseudo-intellectual you homeskooled twat. You can't even spell the facility of education right.

No but no joke, it dead ass took me a half hour to write. And I was gonna like go into EtH's old battles and find slant rhymes and shit but that would've been time consuming. This new Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon Sword of Desitiny shit isn't as good as I thought. It's not bad though.

Can you believe I made only one formatting error in that shit? I didn't even preview it first.

[S A L T]

Originally Posted by ILLoKWENT

@M I L K ,,this thread is like saying everyone looks interprets you as a man, because you look , dress, talk, like a man, but you yell out, but 'i feel like a woman' so there fore im a woman..lol


anyway, theres nothing wrong with 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and i agree that LB at times , or with a few people, are really nazi when it comes to slant rhymes,, even daddio at one point spoke about it in his bars.. it goes down to what is the stressed vowel sounds that should be emphasized or heard when read out.. and for one thing, from setup to concept to punchline shouldnt require a huge paragraph to describe/explain the metaphor your tryin to convey,,they should be fairly easy to grasp because majority of LB are casual readers, that want the instant gratification of a good concept, and identifiable flip, .. which then goes back to setup which should be one fluent idea that is realized,concludes in the punchline.. this is the example ive used that i read in 05, on GOLDMIC..
I bet you never had a girl, wit that TALENT YOU GOT,
so you only 'imaginin pussy', like CALVIN AND HOBBES/

as you can see, the two lines are one cohesive idea, that doesnt require a million 'quoted references' to see where the idea was goin.. theres a basic foundation that still needs to be maintained, regardless of how artistic, or stylistic, ones approach tries to convey... yes its a rigid, tried and true formula, but it also is a fundamentally sound approach, that will garner the easiest comprehension... not everyone here wants to scrutinize any obscure or even subtle meanings that may have missed a well trained eye, so to appease more of the masses, sometimes you gotta adapt to fit in, otherwise youll stand out for all the wrong reasons..same goes with underground rappers, or dudes like canibus, who lyrically were ahead of their time, yet monetarily didnt garner much success, due to the unorthadox content.. etc... im not disagreein on your stance cause i can see a few points you bring up, but at the same time, i agree with the others on a few of your multi choices... which were mismatched at times ,and some were a bit too slanted or the stressed sounds didnt jive as well flowwise.. multis imo, are nice to have because when done correctly by anyone, produce a nice flow to what your reading, but it shouldnt be a gamebreaker to someone who has one syllable multis, but relavent setups and stronger punches... multis are just that, a tool to accentuate flow... battles are designed for mainly one thing, to accentuate hard punchlines, clever disses, that utilize personification, alliteration, metaphors, similes, wordplay, etc.etc..etc... the main thing i try to compare is punches first and foremost, if they are even, then i look at relavence in setup, then finally multi usage and structure,,.... and capping is up to the writer where he wants to emphasize, but due to the medium, which is text, its just more practical to cap only complete multis,.. to emphasize where they start and end, .. and yes on audio, dudes do that all the time, droppin a 4 syllable multi, then matchin it up wit a 5, but we're not doin audio, its text, which is more visual and technical, and its better practice to keep multis at ther very least matching....because multis produce a certain rhythm and timing to a person that reads it,(hence flow) and throwin a hard soundin word in between or adding an extra word, throws the timing off, hence the mismatch...

First of fucking eloquent bitch, that was an awesome thorough and appropriate response to this discussion. I appreciate that shit. BUT NO. It's not like yelling "I'm a women" bc that'd be counter productive af. It'd be like writing "Sandwich Artist" on your resume after working at Subway.

And you're lesson, although really great, basically told me to dumb down for LB. Thanks for acknowledging my genius.

Bro wtf I just discovered the "[More]" tag shit, are you kidding me?

[S A L T]

Originally Posted by ILLoKWENT

@M I L K ,,this thread is like saying everyone looks interprets you as a man, because you look , dress, talk, like a man, but you yell out, but 'i feel like a woman' so there fore im a woman..lol


anyway, theres nothing wrong with 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and i agree that LB at times , or with a few people, are really nazi when it comes to slant rhymes,, even daddio at one point spoke about it in his bars.. it goes down to what is the stressed vowel sounds that should be emphasized or heard when read out.. and for one thing, from setup to concept to punchline shouldnt require a huge paragraph to describe/explain the metaphor your tryin to convey,,they should be fairly easy to grasp because majority of LB are casual readers, that want the instant gratification of a good concept, and identifiable flip, .. which then goes back to setup which should be one fluent idea that is realized,concludes in the punchline.. this is the example ive used that i read in 05, on GOLDMIC..
I bet you never had a girl, wit that TALENT YOU GOT,
so you only 'imaginin pussy', like CALVIN AND HOBBES/

as you can see, the two lines are one cohesive idea, that doesnt require a million 'quoted references' to see where the idea was goin.. theres a basic foundation that still needs to be maintained, regardless of how artistic, or stylistic, ones approach tries to convey... yes its a rigid, tried and true formula, but it also is a fundamentally sound approach, that will garner the easiest comprehension... not everyone here wants to scrutinize any obscure or even subtle meanings that may have missed a well trained eye, so to appease more of the masses, sometimes you gotta adapt to fit in, otherwise youll stand out for all the wrong reasons..same goes with underground rappers, or dudes like canibus, who lyrically were ahead of their time, yet monetarily didnt garner much success, due to the unorthadox content.. etc... im not disagreein on your stance cause i can see a few points you bring up, but at the same time, i agree with the others on a few of your multi choices... which were mismatched at times ,and some were a bit too slanted or the stressed sounds didnt jive as well flowwise.. multis imo, are nice to have because when done correctly by anyone, produce a nice flow to what your reading, but it shouldnt be a gamebreaker to someone who has one syllable multis, but relavent setups and stronger punches... multis are just that, a tool to accentuate flow... battles are designed for mainly one thing, to accentuate hard punchlines, clever disses, that utilize personification, alliteration, metaphors, similes, wordplay, etc.etc..etc... the main thing i try to compare is punches first and foremost, if they are even, then i look at relavence in setup, then finally multi usage and structure,,.... and capping is up to the writer where he wants to emphasize, but due to the medium, which is text, its just more practical to cap only complete multis,.. to emphasize where they start and end, .. and yes on audio, dudes do that all the time, droppin a 4 syllable multi, then matchin it up wit a 5, but we're not doin audio, its text, which is more visual and technical, and its better practice to keep multis at ther very least matching....because multis produce a certain rhythm and timing to a person that reads it,(hence flow) and throwin a hard soundin word in between or adding an extra word, throws the timing off, hence the mismatch...

First of fucking eloquent bitch, that was an awesome thorough and appropriate response to this discussion. I appreciate that shit. BUT NO. It's not like yelling "I'm a women" bc that'd be counter productive af. It'd be like writing "Sandwich Artist" on your resume after working at Subway.

And you're lesson, although really great, basically told me to dumb down for LB. Thanks for acknowledging my genius.

Bro wtf I just discovered the "[More]" tag shit, are you kidding me?

I slant rhyme a lot. Mostly it's not too bad but in some cases people have struggled to rhyme the word I'm rhyming, sometimes down to them not flowing it the way I was or sometimes down to pronunciation or accent. But guess what, that's my fault.

I had a killer personal in a 32 line scheme battler against UA. The scheme was Michael Jackson, my rhyme was Tribal Shaman. That works completely fine with me and to be able to pull out a proper personal off of an "expression or phrase rhyme" in a scheme battle, line was killer. Unfortunately, in America, they pronounce Shaman like it rhymes with "Gay man" instead of "Jammin'" like I would. I had to cut the line because the majority of the voters wouldn't have been able to rhyme it, despite the fact it worked perfectly to me.

This isn't specifically relevant to what you said. In a lot of places, Shaman and Jackson is a fine slant. I really really doubt you will find any defence for Largest and Dollar as a slant rhyme. They are just completely different sounding words, down to every sound they produce. If you can find me a single rhyme I've ever spit that's as off as Largest and Dollar, I'll concede that you're the greatest rapper ever.

I slant rhyme a lot. Mostly it's not too bad but in some cases people have struggled to rhyme the word I'm rhyming, sometimes down to them not flowing it the way I was or sometimes down to pronunciation or accent. But guess what, that's my fault.

I had a killer personal in a 32 line scheme battler against UA. The scheme was Michael Jackson, my rhyme was Tribal Shaman. That works completely fine with me and to be able to pull out a proper personal off of an "expression or phrase rhyme" in a scheme battle, line was killer. Unfortunately, in America, they pronounce Shaman like it rhymes with "Gay man" instead of "Jammin'" like I would. I had to cut the line because the majority of the voters wouldn't have been able to rhyme it, despite the fact it worked perfectly to me.

This isn't specifically relevant to what you said. In a lot of places, Shaman and Jackson is a fine slant. I really really doubt you will find any defence for Largest and Dollar as a slant rhyme. They are just completely different sounding words, down to every sound they produce. If you can find me a single rhyme I've ever spit that's as off as Largest and Dollar, I'll concede that you're the greatest rapper ever.

[S A L T]

Originally Posted by The EtHer

1. I can't rhyme Largest and Dollar in any aspect what so ever. It's not even close. Menu and Venue is fine.

2. Capitalization on LB is a signal for rhyming. The reason this is done because we write in a literal box, with no clear end of lines. So we have always capped the rhymes so people will be able to pick up on the rhyme scheme they would typically expect at the end of a line. The only reason we cap things in there is for the purpose of rhyming. If something is capped that isn't a rhyme, we're conditioned to hit those words hard as though they are rhymes. When they aren't connected to anything, and you're hitting them hard, that will make the flow choppy.

3. Mac is short for macaroni, which isn't noodles, for the record. Cheese also doesn't mean smile. "Cheeser" would be the word you'd look for. You would never know what I meant if I said someone was "cheesing at me" or "this guy cheesed on the street". You'd think it's got something to do with a penis most likely. Also, predicting your retort, the reason people say cheese in photographs isn't because that means smile, it's because the facial expression when saying the word replications that of a smile. Cheese doesn't mean smile. Also, not having teeth doesn't mean you can't smile.

4. You are trying to "change the structure" but are getting pissed off if someone says they hate it. If I said I loved your structure, you'd be delighted. You can't get pissed off about this because you are actively trying to change it. You have to accept that you might not be changing it to something better, in the case of this verse....it's much MUCH worse.

5. "He claims he's a god" isn't a punchline. That's like me saying "This guy thinks he's dope but his name is Milk". Yes, he DOES claim he's a god....what about it? You going to insult him over it or just inform us of what his username is?

6. You said nothing about the distance in which the apple drops. You said you were going to watch where the apple drops....what if it drops close? Is he then a genius? You never said any of that. Also, sure, Apple make Macs...so what? You just added the word apple in and assume that somehow makes it a punch? If you said "He doesn't have jobs" does that now mean it's a punch relating to Steve Jobs? You actually have to relate Apple and Mac to something for it to be relevant.




Milk, just consider the situation here. You ASKED me to check your battle. I have absolutely no reason what so ever to have bias towards either writer. Most of the site that would remember would consider me to be one of the better voters around here. So when you consider these things...don't you think that YOU could be the one being biased towards your own verse?

You're here "explaining" the punches. You know why you're explaining them? They weren't clear what so ever. That's your fault. If you write stuff that the readers don't get, you can't blame them. You have to look at your verse and realize that it's too convoluted and as a result, you're fucking up everything you're trying to do.

Your flow was bad. Your rhyming was basic. You tried 500 things with each punch but didn't deliver 1 of those 500 things well. You're trying to create a new format of writing which isn't working out what so ever. You don't realize WHY people might format their verse a specific way to begin with. And essentially, this entire thread proves that until you assess your rhymes critically from an outside perspective you'll never improve. You're going to keep blaming the voters every time and act like it's their fault if your verse isn't connecting with them (see Lizman for more details). It's YOUR fault that I never felt your punches, or that your flow put me off, or that I didn't connect one or two things together. YOU. You're trying to get me to vote for you in this battle, so you have to cater to the voters or be prepared to lose.

Sometimes when I wrote topicals, I'd write insanely hidden messages and have the entire piece working two ways that next to no one would pick up on. I can't then bring this into a contest and be pissed off that they didn't get my second meaning. If you want to do shit like that, go and make a cypher. In a battle, you have to write dope punches that the readers are going to connect with along a solid flow. That's it. Until you are able to do that, keep your moaning threads to a minimum and realize that it's not our fault that you're inferior.

Ohhhh and now the fucking dingus.

1) Okay fucking fine. Largest and Dollar don't fucking rhyme okay but the 'Lars' man. The LARS. It's kinda cool and the Menu and Venue are the important part. You knit picky fuck. I guess, in that sense it's a one word rhyme too but still I knew you'd be the no-life chubucket that would list out your replies to my shit. Told you we're compatible, I just get laid more.

2) Suck my dick, ill cap my rhymes for now on probably. Uncondition your bias you potato.

3) Fucking cheese means smile. What country are you from? It's literally used as cheesing, cheesed, and teeth dude figuratively speaking means smile you asshat. Throw me a fucking bone you literal dick sucker.

4) Are you tired of the name calling? You're an alright guy just so you know. Anyways, I can't argue this point bc you're right. I'm just saying my taste is superior to yours. Honestly, you like the WWE. Wtf..

5) "This guy thinks he's dope but his name is Milk". Dope has nothing to do with Milk. Seriously what fucking country are you from that you use milk to get high? Godd has something to do with a narcissistic complex (i.e. Kanye West). And it's a nameplay battle asshat. Sorry we couldn't disclose it due to a new line of code. I'll gladly remind you of the name I'm trying to slander.

6) You're kinda right. But references like apple should still earn me brownie points. Also, what country are you from where trees are that short? Seriously, dude. Don't make me ask again about your geographical location. I'm already too curious as to why you're a smart idiot.

Paragraph 1: I am without a doubt bias toward my own verse. Why do you think I wrote it? Bc it's good, duh. @macc's a doofus. You're just a WWE who likes men and probably communism, like the Stalin kind I think.

Paragraph 2: I'm sorry I'm smarter than you.

Paragraph 3: Woah fuck, rip the fucking bandaid off why don't you. Thanks, I still appreciate the flow I interpreted. And just to get it out of the way, I honestly wasn't trying to get you to vote for me. I was genuinely curious and actually 10% expected this outcome. YOU'RE BASIC you fucking nazi. Hitler wouldn't even like you you fucking canon ball go back to the 17th century where you and your prose belong.

I'm not blaming the voter... I am blaming the voter. Still not my fault you're dumb and I'm salty. The second part is but I think it balances out by the limited capacity of care I don't seem to not actually oppose to give to this site. If you know what I mean. I hope that means something along the lines as I don't care. LETS BEEF . COM (not calm). Come at me mother fucker. You'll probably trip.

Paragraph 4: Don't call me inferior you potato. I don't probably plan on posting another thread of this length. I read that back an hour or so afterwards and actually got bored. I'm surprise it got any readers outside you and cel lol. S/O to ILLo again for that two cents (you suck). And cyphers are better anyways. Send me 8 you fucking FAGGOT. Lol (srly I hope I don't hurt you feelings, you're cool).

Anyways, dead pool is a good movie. I recommend. The new Crouching Tiger, eh. It's good if you're baked enough.

[S A L T]

Originally Posted by The EtHer

1. I can't rhyme Largest and Dollar in any aspect what so ever. It's not even close. Menu and Venue is fine.

2. Capitalization on LB is a signal for rhyming. The reason this is done because we write in a literal box, with no clear end of lines. So we have always capped the rhymes so people will be able to pick up on the rhyme scheme they would typically expect at the end of a line. The only reason we cap things in there is for the purpose of rhyming. If something is capped that isn't a rhyme, we're conditioned to hit those words hard as though they are rhymes. When they aren't connected to anything, and you're hitting them hard, that will make the flow choppy.

3. Mac is short for macaroni, which isn't noodles, for the record. Cheese also doesn't mean smile. "Cheeser" would be the word you'd look for. You would never know what I meant if I said someone was "cheesing at me" or "this guy cheesed on the street". You'd think it's got something to do with a penis most likely. Also, predicting your retort, the reason people say cheese in photographs isn't because that means smile, it's because the facial expression when saying the word replications that of a smile. Cheese doesn't mean smile. Also, not having teeth doesn't mean you can't smile.

4. You are trying to "change the structure" but are getting pissed off if someone says they hate it. If I said I loved your structure, you'd be delighted. You can't get pissed off about this because you are actively trying to change it. You have to accept that you might not be changing it to something better, in the case of this verse....it's much MUCH worse.

5. "He claims he's a god" isn't a punchline. That's like me saying "This guy thinks he's dope but his name is Milk". Yes, he DOES claim he's a god....what about it? You going to insult him over it or just inform us of what his username is?

6. You said nothing about the distance in which the apple drops. You said you were going to watch where the apple drops....what if it drops close? Is he then a genius? You never said any of that. Also, sure, Apple make Macs...so what? You just added the word apple in and assume that somehow makes it a punch? If you said "He doesn't have jobs" does that now mean it's a punch relating to Steve Jobs? You actually have to relate Apple and Mac to something for it to be relevant.




Milk, just consider the situation here. You ASKED me to check your battle. I have absolutely no reason what so ever to have bias towards either writer. Most of the site that would remember would consider me to be one of the better voters around here. So when you consider these things...don't you think that YOU could be the one being biased towards your own verse?

You're here "explaining" the punches. You know why you're explaining them? They weren't clear what so ever. That's your fault. If you write stuff that the readers don't get, you can't blame them. You have to look at your verse and realize that it's too convoluted and as a result, you're fucking up everything you're trying to do.

Your flow was bad. Your rhyming was basic. You tried 500 things with each punch but didn't deliver 1 of those 500 things well. You're trying to create a new format of writing which isn't working out what so ever. You don't realize WHY people might format their verse a specific way to begin with. And essentially, this entire thread proves that until you assess your rhymes critically from an outside perspective you'll never improve. You're going to keep blaming the voters every time and act like it's their fault if your verse isn't connecting with them (see Lizman for more details). It's YOUR fault that I never felt your punches, or that your flow put me off, or that I didn't connect one or two things together. YOU. You're trying to get me to vote for you in this battle, so you have to cater to the voters or be prepared to lose.

Sometimes when I wrote topicals, I'd write insanely hidden messages and have the entire piece working two ways that next to no one would pick up on. I can't then bring this into a contest and be pissed off that they didn't get my second meaning. If you want to do shit like that, go and make a cypher. In a battle, you have to write dope punches that the readers are going to connect with along a solid flow. That's it. Until you are able to do that, keep your moaning threads to a minimum and realize that it's not our fault that you're inferior.

Ohhhh and now the fucking dingus.

1) Okay fucking fine. Largest and Dollar don't fucking rhyme okay but the 'Lars' man. The LARS. It's kinda cool and the Menu and Venue are the important part. You knit picky fuck. I guess, in that sense it's a one word rhyme too but still I knew you'd be the no-life chubucket that would list out your replies to my shit. Told you we're compatible, I just get laid more.

2) Suck my dick, ill cap my rhymes for now on probably. Uncondition your bias you potato.

3) Fucking cheese means smile. What country are you from? It's literally used as cheesing, cheesed, and teeth dude figuratively speaking means smile you asshat. Throw me a fucking bone you literal dick sucker.

4) Are you tired of the name calling? You're an alright guy just so you know. Anyways, I can't argue this point bc you're right. I'm just saying my taste is superior to yours. Honestly, you like the WWE. Wtf..

5) "This guy thinks he's dope but his name is Milk". Dope has nothing to do with Milk. Seriously what fucking country are you from that you use milk to get high? Godd has something to do with a narcissistic complex (i.e. Kanye West). And it's a nameplay battle asshat. Sorry we couldn't disclose it due to a new line of code. I'll gladly remind you of the name I'm trying to slander.

6) You're kinda right. But references like apple should still earn me brownie points. Also, what country are you from where trees are that short? Seriously, dude. Don't make me ask again about your geographical location. I'm already too curious as to why you're a smart idiot.

Paragraph 1: I am without a doubt bias toward my own verse. Why do you think I wrote it? Bc it's good, duh. @macc's a doofus. You're just a WWE who likes men and probably communism, like the Stalin kind I think.

Paragraph 2: I'm sorry I'm smarter than you.

Paragraph 3: Woah fuck, rip the fucking bandaid off why don't you. Thanks, I still appreciate the flow I interpreted. And just to get it out of the way, I honestly wasn't trying to get you to vote for me. I was genuinely curious and actually 10% expected this outcome. YOU'RE BASIC you fucking nazi. Hitler wouldn't even like you you fucking canon ball go back to the 17th century where you and your prose belong.

I'm not blaming the voter... I am blaming the voter. Still not my fault you're dumb and I'm salty. The second part is but I think it balances out by the limited capacity of care I don't seem to not actually oppose to give to this site. If you know what I mean. I hope that means something along the lines as I don't care. LETS BEEF . COM (not calm). Come at me mother fucker. You'll probably trip.

Paragraph 4: Don't call me inferior you potato. I don't probably plan on posting another thread of this length. I read that back an hour or so afterwards and actually got bored. I'm surprise it got any readers outside you and cel lol. S/O to ILLo again for that two cents (you suck). And cyphers are better anyways. Send me 8 you fucking FAGGOT. Lol (srly I hope I don't hurt you feelings, you're cool).

Anyways, dead pool is a good movie. I recommend. The new Crouching Tiger, eh. It's good if you're baked enough.