Letsbeef Topical Magazine: Issue #2

Just to start this off, sorry about the slight delay in the closing date last week. My internet went down, but hopefully it should hold up for the rest of the competition. I also made a mistake, which is too late to change lol, but the idea was to have the closing date on the 22nd, not the 29th. Have fun with the extra week haha. We had so many skeptics coming into this, especially with no shows sweeping the site as of late. At the first hurdle, we had 12 no shows, so it was looking bleak, but after the replacements we managed to have just 5 people failing to turn up, so I think it was a pretty convincing success in the end.


The game is pretty simple. Reply to this thread with who you think is still left standing in the topical tournament. As some people may be involved that are reading this, the maximum names you can post is 15, as you can’t reveal that you yourself are involved. You don’t have to know who is who, but drop down 15 names of people you think is in round 2. There is an emcee item in it for the person who gets the most right.




The Law
Law brought a consistant and steady flow of helpful votes to the table. He explained why he was voting the way he did, he said the ups and downs in detail, and never dropped below a high standard of voting.

Iron Mike
With only one bad vote, Iron Mike was pretty solid with bringing in votes, joint with R o w for the most of the week at 6. More could have been written in each, but explaining his vote and making sure we keep everything moving by checking a lot of different battles gets him the second spot.

Agonize
Agonize brought some decent voting on a few of the battles. His votes were explained and he justified all of his choices.

Honourable mention: R o w
R o w was really helpful by voting on 6 different topicals this week. His votes werent of a good standard however, dropping just one line on each, dropping him off from the top spots.

Just to start this off, sorry about the slight delay in the closing date last week. My internet went down, but hopefully it should hold up for the rest of the competition. I also made a mistake, which is too late to change lol, but the idea was to have the closing date on the 22nd, not the 29th. Have fun with the extra week haha. We had so many skeptics coming into this, especially with no shows sweeping the site as of late. At the first hurdle, we had 12 no shows, so it was looking bleak, but after the replacements we managed to have just 5 people failing to turn up, so I think it was a pretty convincing success in the end.


The game is pretty simple. Reply to this thread with who you think is still left standing in the topical tournament. As some people may be involved that are reading this, the maximum names you can post is 15, as you can’t reveal that you yourself are involved. You don’t have to know who is who, but drop down 15 names of people you think is in round 2. There is an emcee item in it for the person who gets the most right.




The Law
Law brought a consistant and steady flow of helpful votes to the table. He explained why he was voting the way he did, he said the ups and downs in detail, and never dropped below a high standard of voting.

Iron Mike
With only one bad vote, Iron Mike was pretty solid with bringing in votes, joint with R o w for the most of the week at 6. More could have been written in each, but explaining his vote and making sure we keep everything moving by checking a lot of different battles gets him the second spot.

Agonize
Agonize brought some decent voting on a few of the battles. His votes were explained and he justified all of his choices.

Honourable mention: R o w
R o w was really helpful by voting on 6 different topicals this week. His votes werent of a good standard however, dropping just one line on each, dropping him off from the top spots.

Writer 9

The torrential downpour booming, feeling the full crush of the waves
Avast! At last the pirates flee'd the ship as they pulled up to the caves
Chanting and signing their famous motto's
These dirty, scurvy, scallwags go trekking through this ancient grotto
As they get deeper, the walls have scriptures and irregular rocks
the cave exhales it's cold air and the temperature drops
the warnings and engravings ignored by these anxious pirates
Waiting to get cursed by the gods, those sanctioned tyrants
the scriptures read:

"You may take what you need
enough to eat, drink, and live but no more can you keep
if your mind turns avarice and your heart turns to greed
deception of a true pirate, bloodshed and death is all that you'll see
and only one of you maties live to succeed"

Still they ignored, knowing the treasure that lies within
Gold beyond belief, the envy and greed confides in their skin
These pirates want no change or mind or heart
just all the wealth "off the charts"
For hours they paced to the end cave, all primed and bold
Statutes and chests glistening off the walls lined with gold
The treasures filled with great glory and desire
without a doubt each pirate would conspire
Sword to sword combat, cut throat, blood dripped off the giant chest
until it was just pirate left
On top of the treasure he stood and posed tough
only to realize the entrance closed up.
On this scorched rock that blocked his only escape
was the scripture that clocked his life to remain

"Forever, the treasure and gold will never leave you side
together you you create the greatest bind
You don't need the food in your stomach
or the drink in the bucket
as the gold shines it will put light under your feet
and 'feed all the thirst' of your greed
Forever, you will have all that you need
Until a person greedier than you comes to succeed"

Generation after generation the tale got told
and each year sat a new skeleton on the mountain of gold.

Writer 27 - Punk

Time flies when your having fun, laughing it up half drunk
strapping me to the seats with while im beat, down in Matts trunk
Matt can finally pat his self on the back cause you had
the police investigating but no one realized he passed *ugh*
Sarah spilled a drink while i was sleeping chose to hide my sneakers
at that frat party, now no one can find her either.
I've been alone since 94 year i was born
deep in my core, was the truth but i never could really find the breather.
My life is like a horror movie with the slightest feature
Sarah was so popular and beautiful i'd try to be her.
A bleeding heart would consist of success and how I'm eager
but didn't work out as i planned, I'm such a coward dreamer.
Born a sinner but raised a winner how can i be so mad
maybe because i didn't have the fame that my bro Rico had.
But Rico disappeared a day after Sarah when gathering
all of the information, it seems, to be a pattern.
A pattern made out of triple 6 bibles like 3 Saturns
before doomsday, he kept pissing me off with strict blatters.
My mom thought i was crazy as a child, but I'm normal
just because i didn't dress a certain way or talk formal.
I'm no spoiled fuck you say that i came out a tainted portal
the only thing that's evil filled is that my conscience is immortal.
Please, take me as i am, I'm afraid of what can happen
to me if i leave this earth a mess and evil was my passionate
activity impassive with my feelings god I'm trapped
in this ball, fuck it lets grasp the attention of who ask
for the attention kill the madness and the mentions I'm just glad
that we can see each other eye to eye and fly away with Matt, Sarah
and Rico If you can take me away tonight i'll grab my bags
Thank you for your time and keep this letter it will be my last.

Vs

Writer 19

A Pirate's Wife

Her physical attributes keeps his mind floating across time's ocean
as she braces the waves of life
she keeps the grind going, though she remains a stage for fights
STILL SHE
Doesn't need waxings or color coats
she's not like other boats
she bares all life throws and still manages the MOTHER-LOADS
and still, he only uses her for self
on the daily steering her, without a clue to what she's felt
...and its usually for wealth

A PIRATE'S WIFE
they roam the seas furiously.. he, his crew and his bottom bitch
to slaughter cliques tho their relationship is as violent as the water gets
one day upon the horizion coasted un unnoticed flag, so the maties slung over fast
to find guns on thier ass, from under deck and some from the mast
and as he tried to come to the rescue.. bandits were swinging from the jungle with mags
..before he knew it he was crumpled and stabbed and his crew was shot to pieces
his wife kidknpped and everything he ever killed for was left to rot w/ feses..

as the treacherous scallies cut through the blue on their new adventure
the leader started having visions of things like his crew dis-membered,
his on head upon the bow and blood secreting out the wall
so he stopped and poured a shot of whiskey, but thats when he thought about the meaning of it all
he had broken a bound that tied tides together and taking many lives
he had stolen many boats and he had taking many wives... but this felt odd
before he could contol his on actions, he picked up a rod and made his peace with god
and so did the rest of his crew, one by one impaling or jumping to sure death.
the boat had its own breath, killing anything that thought to breathe as she crossed the sea.
cause on deck?
theres a cabin where only one captain can ride in tight, and he fell victim in a violent fight
so on any given silent night? u might hear the waters being scoured by a
A PIRATE'S WIFE

Writer 9

The torrential downpour booming, feeling the full crush of the waves
Avast! At last the pirates flee'd the ship as they pulled up to the caves
Chanting and signing their famous motto's
These dirty, scurvy, scallwags go trekking through this ancient grotto
As they get deeper, the walls have scriptures and irregular rocks
the cave exhales it's cold air and the temperature drops
the warnings and engravings ignored by these anxious pirates
Waiting to get cursed by the gods, those sanctioned tyrants
the scriptures read:

"You may take what you need
enough to eat, drink, and live but no more can you keep
if your mind turns avarice and your heart turns to greed
deception of a true pirate, bloodshed and death is all that you'll see
and only one of you maties live to succeed"

Still they ignored, knowing the treasure that lies within
Gold beyond belief, the envy and greed confides in their skin
These pirates want no change or mind or heart
just all the wealth "off the charts"
For hours they paced to the end cave, all primed and bold
Statutes and chests glistening off the walls lined with gold
The treasures filled with great glory and desire
without a doubt each pirate would conspire
Sword to sword combat, cut throat, blood dripped off the giant chest
until it was just pirate left
On top of the treasure he stood and posed tough
only to realize the entrance closed up.
On this scorched rock that blocked his only escape
was the scripture that clocked his life to remain

"Forever, the treasure and gold will never leave you side
together you you create the greatest bind
You don't need the food in your stomach
or the drink in the bucket
as the gold shines it will put light under your feet
and 'feed all the thirst' of your greed
Forever, you will have all that you need
Until a person greedier than you comes to succeed"

Generation after generation the tale got told
and each year sat a new skeleton on the mountain of gold.

Writer 27 - Punk

Time flies when your having fun, laughing it up half drunk
strapping me to the seats with while im beat, down in Matts trunk
Matt can finally pat his self on the back cause you had
the police investigating but no one realized he passed *ugh*
Sarah spilled a drink while i was sleeping chose to hide my sneakers
at that frat party, now no one can find her either.
I've been alone since 94 year i was born
deep in my core, was the truth but i never could really find the breather.
My life is like a horror movie with the slightest feature
Sarah was so popular and beautiful i'd try to be her.
A bleeding heart would consist of success and how I'm eager
but didn't work out as i planned, I'm such a coward dreamer.
Born a sinner but raised a winner how can i be so mad
maybe because i didn't have the fame that my bro Rico had.
But Rico disappeared a day after Sarah when gathering
all of the information, it seems, to be a pattern.
A pattern made out of triple 6 bibles like 3 Saturns
before doomsday, he kept pissing me off with strict blatters.
My mom thought i was crazy as a child, but I'm normal
just because i didn't dress a certain way or talk formal.
I'm no spoiled fuck you say that i came out a tainted portal
the only thing that's evil filled is that my conscience is immortal.
Please, take me as i am, I'm afraid of what can happen
to me if i leave this earth a mess and evil was my passionate
activity impassive with my feelings god I'm trapped
in this ball, fuck it lets grasp the attention of who ask
for the attention kill the madness and the mentions I'm just glad
that we can see each other eye to eye and fly away with Matt, Sarah
and Rico If you can take me away tonight i'll grab my bags
Thank you for your time and keep this letter it will be my last.

Vs

Writer 19

A Pirate's Wife

Her physical attributes keeps his mind floating across time's ocean
as she braces the waves of life
she keeps the grind going, though she remains a stage for fights
STILL SHE
Doesn't need waxings or color coats
she's not like other boats
she bares all life throws and still manages the MOTHER-LOADS
and still, he only uses her for self
on the daily steering her, without a clue to what she's felt
...and its usually for wealth

A PIRATE'S WIFE
they roam the seas furiously.. he, his crew and his bottom bitch
to slaughter cliques tho their relationship is as violent as the water gets
one day upon the horizion coasted un unnoticed flag, so the maties slung over fast
to find guns on thier ass, from under deck and some from the mast
and as he tried to come to the rescue.. bandits were swinging from the jungle with mags
..before he knew it he was crumpled and stabbed and his crew was shot to pieces
his wife kidknpped and everything he ever killed for was left to rot w/ feses..

as the treacherous scallies cut through the blue on their new adventure
the leader started having visions of things like his crew dis-membered,
his on head upon the bow and blood secreting out the wall
so he stopped and poured a shot of whiskey, but thats when he thought about the meaning of it all
he had broken a bound that tied tides together and taking many lives
he had stolen many boats and he had taking many wives... but this felt odd
before he could contol his on actions, he picked up a rod and made his peace with god
and so did the rest of his crew, one by one impaling or jumping to sure death.
the boat had its own breath, killing anything that thought to breathe as she crossed the sea.
cause on deck?
theres a cabin where only one captain can ride in tight, and he fell victim in a violent fight
so on any given silent night? u might hear the waters being scoured by a
A PIRATE'S WIFE

UNKNOWN ARTIST had done it all on Letsbeef. Both text and audio Grand Champion, involved in 2 current Hall of Fame Letsbeef crews and potentially 3 soon, and a Hall of Famer in himself, the only stone unturned for UA is the Topical Title.
In 2010, UA was a part of the topical tournament, and made his way to the semi-finals, before conceding an upset loss to EJT.
Although never lifting the Letsbeef Topical crown, UA has still brought us some great stories and additions to the cypher section. With a blend of comedy and lyricism, UA could rival the majority of writers when it came down to action.
In addition, in 2008, under the pseudonym ‘Killer Delivery’, UA picked up the Datpiff topical title en route to becoming the 2nd ever Datpiff Grand Slam winner.

Achievements
Greatest Text Cyphers Inductee
Datpiff.com Topical Champion

Notable Works
Technology
Traped In A Disney Movie
How Come?

Angel of Solitude

What's the Bible say? Pick the direction the rifle sprays,
take the time to remind people how lethal the mind can sway,
spending idle days, brewing then releasing like tidal waves.
At the sight of grey skies and prayers to God, enables my anger inside.
Impatience will rise, vexation sensations obliged, a primal rage,
then many meet their fate and demise, their final days.
Then retreat to safety and hide, my haven of halo protected angels,
awaiting their great patriarch, to connect the angles.
Upset the fatal pattern of hatred and crime
neglect those blind labels and turn the tables of time.
I'm not simply a killer, I'm an assassin of righteous cause
that happens to the fight the laws, attacking with minor pause,
disasters and fine assaults, exactly precise and flawless.
Inside the coffin rests, all the pests, who denied the often
divine and defined as awesome, the time's upon us.

Many years passed since his chaotic reign of terror,
such a bearer of hate and arrogant fate, prepared for
greatness, nobody understood his existence,
they knew he'd murder them all, but they couldn't resist him.

The Death of Faith

Cowered low, a devoured soul, look around and know,
his power shows, count the holes in the ground,
with countless foes in our town, allowing no
freedom even though the propagandists demanded
peace be the agenda, I guess were slowing them down.
Yesterday my best friend was caught in the line
of fire, just riding his bike, how awful he died,
expired. Peace keepers or street sweepers?
What kind of a price must we pay? Trying to fight,
a lucky day is one where we'll most likely survive.
Trust me, they say, they're here for our protection,
but all I see is over-powered aggression,
not open to our suggestions, despite OUR elections.
With every hour, regression, foreigners with young faces,
heading in a flower's direction, planted in the ground and its ended.
The Death of our Faith, the sound is relentless.

It's like a seed that grows, such a peaceful growth,
under the care and protection of the Steeple's hope.
Then a creeping hoax, injects a lethal dose,
of evil, and chokes the hope from the people slow.

Dominant Species

God Bless America, Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.
Weapons of Mass controlling of slaves, patrolling the graves.
The soul of the saved, made soldiers and told what to say.
Traveling across unpaved roads of decay.
Hold 'em at bay, at least then we'll know that were safe.
All I need is my Mercedes and thirty acres to play with,
without worrying that our dirty "neighbors" will take it.
A certain flavor gets tasted and the country is swayed,
but never me, I follow blindly with hundreds to pay.
Taxes to keep us fighting and keep us winning a war,
but not me, I'm not a terrorist, don't kick in my door.
Other than that it's fine, a Patriot, the greatest of acts,
the freedom to ignite the fire without taking the match.
Such beautiful land we live, blue skies, a testament
to our superiority, not too dry and desolate.
If you don't like the state of things, YOU try the President...

A simple perspective, reach into the mind you own,
hopefully you won't find a clone...

Yeah, such a dominant species... right.

Written by Sacrifice

Now, that exciting moment to find out who you all defeated!

The following names were defeated in Round 1 of the 2013 Anonymous Topical Tournament.

Writer 20 – Black Book
Writer 16 – prospektJS
Writer 8 – SideEight
Writer 24 – Eye G
Writer 7 – Explizzitt
Writer 6 – Dysfunctional
Writer 14 – Snoopy316
Writer 25 – Phenomonon
Writer 5 – Fidel Z
Writer 27 – Punk
Writer 15 – Ill Reem

UNKNOWN ARTIST had done it all on Letsbeef. Both text and audio Grand Champion, involved in 2 current Hall of Fame Letsbeef crews and potentially 3 soon, and a Hall of Famer in himself, the only stone unturned for UA is the Topical Title.
In 2010, UA was a part of the topical tournament, and made his way to the semi-finals, before conceding an upset loss to EJT.
Although never lifting the Letsbeef Topical crown, UA has still brought us some great stories and additions to the cypher section. With a blend of comedy and lyricism, UA could rival the majority of writers when it came down to action.
In addition, in 2008, under the pseudonym ‘Killer Delivery’, UA picked up the Datpiff topical title en route to becoming the 2nd ever Datpiff Grand Slam winner.

Achievements
Greatest Text Cyphers Inductee
Datpiff.com Topical Champion

Notable Works
Technology
Traped In A Disney Movie
How Come?

Angel of Solitude

What's the Bible say? Pick the direction the rifle sprays,
take the time to remind people how lethal the mind can sway,
spending idle days, brewing then releasing like tidal waves.
At the sight of grey skies and prayers to God, enables my anger inside.
Impatience will rise, vexation sensations obliged, a primal rage,
then many meet their fate and demise, their final days.
Then retreat to safety and hide, my haven of halo protected angels,
awaiting their great patriarch, to connect the angles.
Upset the fatal pattern of hatred and crime
neglect those blind labels and turn the tables of time.
I'm not simply a killer, I'm an assassin of righteous cause
that happens to the fight the laws, attacking with minor pause,
disasters and fine assaults, exactly precise and flawless.
Inside the coffin rests, all the pests, who denied the often
divine and defined as awesome, the time's upon us.

Many years passed since his chaotic reign of terror,
such a bearer of hate and arrogant fate, prepared for
greatness, nobody understood his existence,
they knew he'd murder them all, but they couldn't resist him.

The Death of Faith

Cowered low, a devoured soul, look around and know,
his power shows, count the holes in the ground,
with countless foes in our town, allowing no
freedom even though the propagandists demanded
peace be the agenda, I guess were slowing them down.
Yesterday my best friend was caught in the line
of fire, just riding his bike, how awful he died,
expired. Peace keepers or street sweepers?
What kind of a price must we pay? Trying to fight,
a lucky day is one where we'll most likely survive.
Trust me, they say, they're here for our protection,
but all I see is over-powered aggression,
not open to our suggestions, despite OUR elections.
With every hour, regression, foreigners with young faces,
heading in a flower's direction, planted in the ground and its ended.
The Death of our Faith, the sound is relentless.

It's like a seed that grows, such a peaceful growth,
under the care and protection of the Steeple's hope.
Then a creeping hoax, injects a lethal dose,
of evil, and chokes the hope from the people slow.

Dominant Species

God Bless America, Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.
Weapons of Mass controlling of slaves, patrolling the graves.
The soul of the saved, made soldiers and told what to say.
Traveling across unpaved roads of decay.
Hold 'em at bay, at least then we'll know that were safe.
All I need is my Mercedes and thirty acres to play with,
without worrying that our dirty "neighbors" will take it.
A certain flavor gets tasted and the country is swayed,
but never me, I follow blindly with hundreds to pay.
Taxes to keep us fighting and keep us winning a war,
but not me, I'm not a terrorist, don't kick in my door.
Other than that it's fine, a Patriot, the greatest of acts,
the freedom to ignite the fire without taking the match.
Such beautiful land we live, blue skies, a testament
to our superiority, not too dry and desolate.
If you don't like the state of things, YOU try the President...

A simple perspective, reach into the mind you own,
hopefully you won't find a clone...

Yeah, such a dominant species... right.

Written by Sacrifice

Now, that exciting moment to find out who you all defeated!

The following names were defeated in Round 1 of the 2013 Anonymous Topical Tournament.

Writer 20 – Black Book
Writer 16 – prospektJS
Writer 8 – SideEight
Writer 24 – Eye G
Writer 7 – Explizzitt
Writer 6 – Dysfunctional
Writer 14 – Snoopy316
Writer 25 – Phenomonon
Writer 5 – Fidel Z
Writer 27 – Punk
Writer 15 – Ill Reem

Writer 30

War At Sea

They move from tha BOAT TO THA ROCKS HOPING THA SHOT to this whale! will leave it OPEN AN POPPED! they Spear! Stab! FOLLOW IT! PULL! they're all attacking this whale as no SORROW BEFALLS, then they hear it! they turn as tha 'ocean mouth' opens up to their boat? then SWALLOWS IT ALL!. Now all 4 men are STRANDED AT SEA! but wait! now more waves rise STANDING AND FREE CRASHING AT THESE! tha waves seperate one man from the group but hes LANDED AT FEET! So now the CREW HAS STALLED PARTLY he still has hold of the whale so to the other 3 whalers? tha VIEW IS ALL ARTY but wait! whats that in the distance? its neptunes UNICORN ARMY! already a FEW HAVE GONE PASSED SEE so now the CREW PERFORM TASK B! they strike a lonely unicorn ATTACKING WITH ROPES! the beast is now FLAPPING AND CHOKED! the unicorn is holding his own with three ropes ATTACHED TO HIS THROAT! It seemed the whalers were winning BEATING THE TYRANTS stranded on the rocks? they're not LEAVING THE ISLANDS but whats that rising from the waves? now their SEEING A TRIDENT! now the four men need to GET THROUGH THEIR FEARS knowing they cant FETCH NEWER SPEARS the beasts of the sea have now relaxed now the sea god NEPTUNE APPEARS! ''You shall not take them!'' is what he SCREAMS TO THE MEN! they now hope to leave the SCENE WITH THE PEN but once they die and meet Neptune's brother Zeus? they're bound to be BLEEDING AGAIN! Neptune strikes! now they BLEED FROM EVERY PALM! left floating in the water? they will be LEAVING EVERY ARM! once the final wave strikes? everythings still! so what you'll 'SEE' IS VERY CALM! So thats ALL THAT THEY'LL BE from the WAR OF THE SEA! cant say who I am so what i will say THE AUTHOR WAS ME!


Black Book: First thing I noticed is your structure. You typed it like it was a text battle; this is not the same type of writing. You should write in more of a poetry style. The structure you used also affected your flow, making the fluency of the piece a bit choppy in places. Your actual story lines was a bit predictable. Then the unicorn army part came.. What the fuck? A unicorn army? Alright then... And that Crew Perform Task B rhyme. No, do not word stuff like that in a topical. The end of the story was predictable and very uneventful really. People were caught in a storm, stranded, and died. Then you tried to a tie a bit of mystery into the end but it was just blah. You'll need to step up in round two to get a win.

--------------------------------------------

Writer 27

The Wheels Keep On Turning

Date, July 23rd 2012.

The desert heat beat on my face,
Never before have I longed to feel so cold,
My heart was placid, repeating it's pace,
How can someone so young, feel so old?
The house was silent,
No one in the home would speak,
Future event's foreshadowed, by clouds of violence,
Thunder roared, the phone would ring.
I answered in a mellow mood,
"Hello"? Sobs just bellowed through.
It was Evan's number, but a female's cry,
"Chris it's Shauna, Evan died".
My throw seized up, the world opened wide,
It swallowed me whole as I closed my eyes,
As I choked the earth, I became choked inside....
But time passed, though it hurt when I lost him,
The wheel kept turning, the world has forgotten.
They say they're still alive in all of us,
Or just lies for calming us?
The wheel spins on it's own agenda,
It just trek's on, no hindrance,
Not even when I lost Shannon,
In a head on collision.
It forgets about lives, we face,
Lies to save our vibrant race,
Yet our spirits die, erase,
Forgotten because this wheel stands outside,
Of time and space....
Now a days I step outside, the world still moans,
The wind sparkles in essence of memory,
But when will this wheel's swirl just slow?
A cycle repeated, cherished then forgotten,
Born, raised, some perish, some wonder.
Some fail at marriage, some are fostered,
Lost in an abyss, sons and daughters....
And that Wheel, free of pain, free of yearning,
Through life, death, happiness, and sorrow,
Standing outside Time and Space,
That Wheel just keeps on turning.

R.I.P E & S


Black Book: This piece had great flow to it. It was very fluent and the imagery was pretty good. Then the first mentioning of the title connected the title to the piece well. While it was a bit predictable, it was still a good connection with your story line. The piece picked up when Shannon was mentioned. The imagery was again very spot on. The piece closes out with a good resolution too with the imagery still remaining very good. The vocabulary was a bit advanced, nothing too impressive. However, I feel the simplicity went with the piece. This was a pretty good piece here.

--------------------------------------------

Writer 26

Messages In Invisible Ink

I’ll make extremists cower and squeamish using my grievous methods
Even Jesus couldn’t devour this Zenith even with his prestigious lessons
Plus Demons believe power is beneath his reason to relieve his stresses
So God can keep his hour to teach treason, victims receive its message

I might go fast or until your confession, my intentions dream in essence
This psychopath grieves conception; my investment is to eat intestines
Nights don’t last and seem aggressive, fears expression can be intensive
My own past deceives and oppresses, deception leads to consequences

Why believe in any adolescence? I’ll just slaughter people with proper evil
My daughter’s feeble acts to stop a monsters needle rocked her peephole
I got her beat so I attacked that little mongered weasel like a stalkers sequel
I’m obscure but lethal; I stomped on her Beagle and chopped her in equals
I break guys
Using copper or steal, I also love to use hacksaws razors and steak knifes
I really hate life so I take lives, using cracked laws, Tasers and tape right
I need to rape my mate twice, than I attack flaws, my haters face fright
Gaped eyes are raked & prized; last calls went to his maker & escaped life
I’m
Usually baked or fried, but still take pride when I slash throats & dash hopes
I’ve bashed folks in the hundreds; I’ve arrived home at last so I can stash Joe
I stole his cash & comb, souvenirs are mine, I’ll smash those who act slow
Joe was my last bro, this shit’s asinine, I keep killin past hope, I’m trapped so

I won’t adapt to no assholes, control, my mission completes my inner visions
A sinner’s wisdom is a no holds show; its description beats any pictures given
I’m like a winter prison, cold, & on a roll, victims fall in heaps like fixtures stricken
My scriptures religion, I worship bones & those delicious feet, dinners a Christian

This winner has risen, plus I have the mental capacity & the essential audacity
To outlast these creeps, my temples a catastrophe, it’s my eventual blasphemy
I’m an outcast & meek, at home I disassemble anatomies like medaled causalities
I’ve assembled fantastically detrimental tragedies & they all trembled drastically

I’m to judgmental so classically victims magically think they’re individual links
My residual rink has a habitual ring, inflictions & travesties are like indivisible ink


Black Book: The rhyming and flow were spot on. Very good use of vocab. The story connected to the picture but it was sort of a rant. I get you were trying to portray a psychopath but the ranting was sort of just filling up space. Then the story never really involved into anything. It just continued into a rant about how much of a psychopath you are. Rhyme and flow wise this was good. Story line wise this was alright. You have potential, just work on your story telling.

--------------------------------------------

Writer 4

A Reaper's Serenade

Hush Gingerbread Lady! There's naught to fear
I'm your inner-bred baby who's seen your tears lately
A millionaire's Hades is not austere!
I know your woes and heart. I am nearer
A fire that rose from spark, through deluge, your Noah's Ark
You brushed and stroked this art, I'm your mirror
Amidst your Elysian Fields, a ghostly apparition?
What prisons yield to and sire
Wisdom heals with cozy admonition!
Attesting your gleaming frills, look close at my condition
Fate must heal to inspire
Hidden ills withholding thy commission!
Don't speak! I come bearing a message
It's here in your presence and peering through questions
Stand firm on both feet, you're nearing your essence!
It's time! You must loosen the fetters
The truth is forever to prove you were better
If senescence is might, our youth is a feather...
And here's the truth Oh Sweet Gingerbread!
The throes we deeply dread forgo the dreams instead
Find after years of proof, they're mostly in your head
Reject this pall haven, a stolen coup kingdom
Light must traverse overdue prisms
For death is salvation..the only true freedom!
Had we not skimmed shores in yore on rafts of laughter?
Fear not the last of matter
For we were before "before" and after "after"
So hush Gingerbread Queen! Atone to the silence.
A toast to your highness who's closing her eye-lids!
Embrace me. I'll show you what "life" is.


Black Book: Good rhyming and flow to start. The vocabulary was also very nice. I feel for a small section of the piece you started to focus on vocabulary too much which takes away from how well the story comes across. I mean it's good to use vocab, but if you use too much, it could end up hurting a reader's capability to understand what is happening. The story evolved slowly with not much happening but it had a good metaphor to it. The Gingerbread Queen concept was also interesting. It was a good type of interesting, though. Overall, this was a pretty good piece. Their could have been more of a story to it. Something that had progression and resolution, but it wasn't that big of a problem. Also, focus on making some stuff more clear. The vocab seemed a bit excessive in places and caused parts to be a bit foggy on what you were trying to convey. Good drop, though.

--------------------------------------------

Writer 22

Underground Palace

Coal. Carbon. Black sedimentary rock.
A fossilized pocket of light, non-renewable energy stocks.
We are it and it is us, it exists inside of all life forms,
From the simple to complex, all owe existence to carbon and its bonds.
Mining begins in 300BC at the height of the Roman Republic,
Greek engineers discovered how to extract coal in abundance.
They invented deep shaft mining, the use of coal to cast iron,
Simultaneously in Carthage the Moors began to extract diamonds.
This was only the beginning, the start of an experience,
Faster and faster we developed throughout the medieval period.
Because even the dark ages were fueled by coal,
Lime mortar built the castles to fulfill the feudal roles.
The stone cities brought wealth and fortune, but also destitution,
Faster and faster we developed, we reach the industrial revolution.
During the scramble for Africa, from Cape to Cairo the British Empire stretched,
The French from Sahara to Algeria, the Spaniards from Tangiers to Marrakech.
Why? It was colonization for coal. Coal for the new inventions and trains.
Coal for the factories, coal mined by slaves, and coal made into chains.
This race for coal was a driving force behind the First World War,
That’s why we laugh when we say Iraq has not been done before.
Faster and faster we develop, it’s how we humans race,
Faster and faster we mine the coal at an unrelenting pace.
The future of coal mining appears bleak,
An over-exploitation of natural resources that will one day reach its peak.
Maybe that day has already passed, maybe it has come and go,
Maybe we have harvested so much that nothing more can ever grow.
How long can we continue faster and faster at an unsustainable rate?
How long can we continue onwards until the whole system breaks?
Then what is our fate? We built our Palace upon these ancient foundations,
Formed over millions of years, and mined out of existence within 100 generations.


Black Book: This shit started off like a history/science lesson which is good and bad. It is good because it adds f actuality and background to the piece, but it is bad because it can be a tad bit boring. However, the piece flowed well and the rhyming was on point. When you got to the "lime mortar built the castles to fulfill the feudal roles" is when the piece really made the connection to the topic. This was a key part of the piece. You also used good vocabulary here while keeping a balance with it, though. You didn't overuse advance vocab. The piece was a history lesson but it was good because it allowed great progression of the story line and turned into a piece that addressed real world issues. This was very nice! You also ended it very well with a great conclusion. This was a very good piece overall.

Writer 30

War At Sea

They move from tha BOAT TO THA ROCKS HOPING THA SHOT to this whale! will leave it OPEN AN POPPED! they Spear! Stab! FOLLOW IT! PULL! they're all attacking this whale as no SORROW BEFALLS, then they hear it! they turn as tha 'ocean mouth' opens up to their boat? then SWALLOWS IT ALL!. Now all 4 men are STRANDED AT SEA! but wait! now more waves rise STANDING AND FREE CRASHING AT THESE! tha waves seperate one man from the group but hes LANDED AT FEET! So now the CREW HAS STALLED PARTLY he still has hold of the whale so to the other 3 whalers? tha VIEW IS ALL ARTY but wait! whats that in the distance? its neptunes UNICORN ARMY! already a FEW HAVE GONE PASSED SEE so now the CREW PERFORM TASK B! they strike a lonely unicorn ATTACKING WITH ROPES! the beast is now FLAPPING AND CHOKED! the unicorn is holding his own with three ropes ATTACHED TO HIS THROAT! It seemed the whalers were winning BEATING THE TYRANTS stranded on the rocks? they're not LEAVING THE ISLANDS but whats that rising from the waves? now their SEEING A TRIDENT! now the four men need to GET THROUGH THEIR FEARS knowing they cant FETCH NEWER SPEARS the beasts of the sea have now relaxed now the sea god NEPTUNE APPEARS! ''You shall not take them!'' is what he SCREAMS TO THE MEN! they now hope to leave the SCENE WITH THE PEN but once they die and meet Neptune's brother Zeus? they're bound to be BLEEDING AGAIN! Neptune strikes! now they BLEED FROM EVERY PALM! left floating in the water? they will be LEAVING EVERY ARM! once the final wave strikes? everythings still! so what you'll 'SEE' IS VERY CALM! So thats ALL THAT THEY'LL BE from the WAR OF THE SEA! cant say who I am so what i will say THE AUTHOR WAS ME!


Black Book: First thing I noticed is your structure. You typed it like it was a text battle; this is not the same type of writing. You should write in more of a poetry style. The structure you used also affected your flow, making the fluency of the piece a bit choppy in places. Your actual story lines was a bit predictable. Then the unicorn army part came.. What the fuck? A unicorn army? Alright then... And that Crew Perform Task B rhyme. No, do not word stuff like that in a topical. The end of the story was predictable and very uneventful really. People were caught in a storm, stranded, and died. Then you tried to a tie a bit of mystery into the end but it was just blah. You'll need to step up in round two to get a win.

--------------------------------------------

Writer 27

The Wheels Keep On Turning

Date, July 23rd 2012.

The desert heat beat on my face,
Never before have I longed to feel so cold,
My heart was placid, repeating it's pace,
How can someone so young, feel so old?
The house was silent,
No one in the home would speak,
Future event's foreshadowed, by clouds of violence,
Thunder roared, the phone would ring.
I answered in a mellow mood,
"Hello"? Sobs just bellowed through.
It was Evan's number, but a female's cry,
"Chris it's Shauna, Evan died".
My throw seized up, the world opened wide,
It swallowed me whole as I closed my eyes,
As I choked the earth, I became choked inside....
But time passed, though it hurt when I lost him,
The wheel kept turning, the world has forgotten.
They say they're still alive in all of us,
Or just lies for calming us?
The wheel spins on it's own agenda,
It just trek's on, no hindrance,
Not even when I lost Shannon,
In a head on collision.
It forgets about lives, we face,
Lies to save our vibrant race,
Yet our spirits die, erase,
Forgotten because this wheel stands outside,
Of time and space....
Now a days I step outside, the world still moans,
The wind sparkles in essence of memory,
But when will this wheel's swirl just slow?
A cycle repeated, cherished then forgotten,
Born, raised, some perish, some wonder.
Some fail at marriage, some are fostered,
Lost in an abyss, sons and daughters....
And that Wheel, free of pain, free of yearning,
Through life, death, happiness, and sorrow,
Standing outside Time and Space,
That Wheel just keeps on turning.

R.I.P E & S


Black Book: This piece had great flow to it. It was very fluent and the imagery was pretty good. Then the first mentioning of the title connected the title to the piece well. While it was a bit predictable, it was still a good connection with your story line. The piece picked up when Shannon was mentioned. The imagery was again very spot on. The piece closes out with a good resolution too with the imagery still remaining very good. The vocabulary was a bit advanced, nothing too impressive. However, I feel the simplicity went with the piece. This was a pretty good piece here.

--------------------------------------------

Writer 26

Messages In Invisible Ink

I’ll make extremists cower and squeamish using my grievous methods
Even Jesus couldn’t devour this Zenith even with his prestigious lessons
Plus Demons believe power is beneath his reason to relieve his stresses
So God can keep his hour to teach treason, victims receive its message

I might go fast or until your confession, my intentions dream in essence
This psychopath grieves conception; my investment is to eat intestines
Nights don’t last and seem aggressive, fears expression can be intensive
My own past deceives and oppresses, deception leads to consequences

Why believe in any adolescence? I’ll just slaughter people with proper evil
My daughter’s feeble acts to stop a monsters needle rocked her peephole
I got her beat so I attacked that little mongered weasel like a stalkers sequel
I’m obscure but lethal; I stomped on her Beagle and chopped her in equals
I break guys
Using copper or steal, I also love to use hacksaws razors and steak knifes
I really hate life so I take lives, using cracked laws, Tasers and tape right
I need to rape my mate twice, than I attack flaws, my haters face fright
Gaped eyes are raked & prized; last calls went to his maker & escaped life
I’m
Usually baked or fried, but still take pride when I slash throats & dash hopes
I’ve bashed folks in the hundreds; I’ve arrived home at last so I can stash Joe
I stole his cash & comb, souvenirs are mine, I’ll smash those who act slow
Joe was my last bro, this shit’s asinine, I keep killin past hope, I’m trapped so

I won’t adapt to no assholes, control, my mission completes my inner visions
A sinner’s wisdom is a no holds show; its description beats any pictures given
I’m like a winter prison, cold, & on a roll, victims fall in heaps like fixtures stricken
My scriptures religion, I worship bones & those delicious feet, dinners a Christian

This winner has risen, plus I have the mental capacity & the essential audacity
To outlast these creeps, my temples a catastrophe, it’s my eventual blasphemy
I’m an outcast & meek, at home I disassemble anatomies like medaled causalities
I’ve assembled fantastically detrimental tragedies & they all trembled drastically

I’m to judgmental so classically victims magically think they’re individual links
My residual rink has a habitual ring, inflictions & travesties are like indivisible ink


Black Book: The rhyming and flow were spot on. Very good use of vocab. The story connected to the picture but it was sort of a rant. I get you were trying to portray a psychopath but the ranting was sort of just filling up space. Then the story never really involved into anything. It just continued into a rant about how much of a psychopath you are. Rhyme and flow wise this was good. Story line wise this was alright. You have potential, just work on your story telling.

--------------------------------------------

Writer 4

A Reaper's Serenade

Hush Gingerbread Lady! There's naught to fear
I'm your inner-bred baby who's seen your tears lately
A millionaire's Hades is not austere!
I know your woes and heart. I am nearer
A fire that rose from spark, through deluge, your Noah's Ark
You brushed and stroked this art, I'm your mirror
Amidst your Elysian Fields, a ghostly apparition?
What prisons yield to and sire
Wisdom heals with cozy admonition!
Attesting your gleaming frills, look close at my condition
Fate must heal to inspire
Hidden ills withholding thy commission!
Don't speak! I come bearing a message
It's here in your presence and peering through questions
Stand firm on both feet, you're nearing your essence!
It's time! You must loosen the fetters
The truth is forever to prove you were better
If senescence is might, our youth is a feather...
And here's the truth Oh Sweet Gingerbread!
The throes we deeply dread forgo the dreams instead
Find after years of proof, they're mostly in your head
Reject this pall haven, a stolen coup kingdom
Light must traverse overdue prisms
For death is salvation..the only true freedom!
Had we not skimmed shores in yore on rafts of laughter?
Fear not the last of matter
For we were before "before" and after "after"
So hush Gingerbread Queen! Atone to the silence.
A toast to your highness who's closing her eye-lids!
Embrace me. I'll show you what "life" is.


Black Book: Good rhyming and flow to start. The vocabulary was also very nice. I feel for a small section of the piece you started to focus on vocabulary too much which takes away from how well the story comes across. I mean it's good to use vocab, but if you use too much, it could end up hurting a reader's capability to understand what is happening. The story evolved slowly with not much happening but it had a good metaphor to it. The Gingerbread Queen concept was also interesting. It was a good type of interesting, though. Overall, this was a pretty good piece. Their could have been more of a story to it. Something that had progression and resolution, but it wasn't that big of a problem. Also, focus on making some stuff more clear. The vocab seemed a bit excessive in places and caused parts to be a bit foggy on what you were trying to convey. Good drop, though.

--------------------------------------------

Writer 22

Underground Palace

Coal. Carbon. Black sedimentary rock.
A fossilized pocket of light, non-renewable energy stocks.
We are it and it is us, it exists inside of all life forms,
From the simple to complex, all owe existence to carbon and its bonds.
Mining begins in 300BC at the height of the Roman Republic,
Greek engineers discovered how to extract coal in abundance.
They invented deep shaft mining, the use of coal to cast iron,
Simultaneously in Carthage the Moors began to extract diamonds.
This was only the beginning, the start of an experience,
Faster and faster we developed throughout the medieval period.
Because even the dark ages were fueled by coal,
Lime mortar built the castles to fulfill the feudal roles.
The stone cities brought wealth and fortune, but also destitution,
Faster and faster we developed, we reach the industrial revolution.
During the scramble for Africa, from Cape to Cairo the British Empire stretched,
The French from Sahara to Algeria, the Spaniards from Tangiers to Marrakech.
Why? It was colonization for coal. Coal for the new inventions and trains.
Coal for the factories, coal mined by slaves, and coal made into chains.
This race for coal was a driving force behind the First World War,
That’s why we laugh when we say Iraq has not been done before.
Faster and faster we develop, it’s how we humans race,
Faster and faster we mine the coal at an unrelenting pace.
The future of coal mining appears bleak,
An over-exploitation of natural resources that will one day reach its peak.
Maybe that day has already passed, maybe it has come and go,
Maybe we have harvested so much that nothing more can ever grow.
How long can we continue faster and faster at an unsustainable rate?
How long can we continue onwards until the whole system breaks?
Then what is our fate? We built our Palace upon these ancient foundations,
Formed over millions of years, and mined out of existence within 100 generations.


Black Book: This shit started off like a history/science lesson which is good and bad. It is good because it adds f actuality and background to the piece, but it is bad because it can be a tad bit boring. However, the piece flowed well and the rhyming was on point. When you got to the "lime mortar built the castles to fulfill the feudal roles" is when the piece really made the connection to the topic. This was a key part of the piece. You also used good vocabulary here while keeping a balance with it, though. You didn't overuse advance vocab. The piece was a history lesson but it was good because it allowed great progression of the story line and turned into a piece that addressed real world issues. This was very nice! You also ended it very well with a great conclusion. This was a very good piece overall.

[V3numb]

damn ETH, love this damn thread.. it's so on point ahah, shout out to everyone mentioned and contributing every way they did

mods run the boards but the members are what makes it go round pl

KIU

edit:move my post if needed towards the last posts in the thread

[V3numb]

damn ETH, love this damn thread.. it's so on point ahah, shout out to everyone mentioned and contributing every way they did

mods run the boards but the members are what makes it go round pl

KIU

edit:move my post if needed towards the last posts in the thread

Damn this is an awesome magazine. I can't wait to be able to do some of this topical stuff lol.

Damn this is an awesome magazine. I can't wait to be able to do some of this topical stuff lol.

^The desired effect.

I should write magazines on how great sex with me is. Maybe that would lure chicks into shaking hands with the one armed slug. @SlutMuffin for clarification.

@UNKNOWN ARTIST cause I mentioned his old ass.

^The desired effect.

I should write magazines on how great sex with me is. Maybe that would lure chicks into shaking hands with the one armed slug. @SlutMuffin for clarification.

@UNKNOWN ARTIST cause I mentioned his old ass.

[Phe]

I'm not needed here.. Dope thread..

[Phe]

I'm not needed here.. Dope thread..

Masterful work, EtH. This shit is brilliant. A great finished product to come out of a bunch of anonymous topicals. Shit is on point.

I'm surprised to see some of the names eliminated in round 1. Namely, Black Book, Phe, and Punk.

Definite nods to you though, homie. Excellent work.

Masterful work, EtH. This shit is brilliant. A great finished product to come out of a bunch of anonymous topicals. Shit is on point.

I'm surprised to see some of the names eliminated in round 1. Namely, Black Book, Phe, and Punk.

Definite nods to you though, homie. Excellent work.

[Iron Mike]

I thought Writer 9 had the best verse of the first week as well. I can't believe you said I had one bad vote. Must be cause I didn't go into detail? Is UA participating in this topical contest? Good luck to everybody that's still left.

[Iron Mike]

I thought Writer 9 had the best verse of the first week as well. I can't believe you said I had one bad vote. Must be cause I didn't go into detail? Is UA participating in this topical contest? Good luck to everybody that's still left.