"Holding On" new track - Page 2 - Lets Beef

**John Dos** · #11 12-11-2012, 09:20 PM

I just talk about how I feel yo. I switch it up and change topics and get versatile on other songs and shit too but I speak about hard times a lot in my songs because Ive been through it, and I am pretty sure a lot of cats relate to it. I always appreciate your feedback bro I just think we like different styles of music some times and that's where we end up clashing.

**John Dos** · 12-11-2012, 09:20 PM

I just talk about how I feel yo. I switch it up and change topics and get versatile on other songs and shit too but I speak about hard times a lot in my songs because Ive been through it, and I am pretty sure a lot of cats relate to it. I always appreciate your feedback bro I just think we like different styles of music some times and that's where we end up clashing.

#12 12-11-2012, 09:38 PM

yea idunno, i think at this level it becomes indulgent

negative experiences with overly pathetic instrumentation (especially the kind with suspended tear drop piano)

it doesn't feel like real emotion over hard times, and i think i've told you this before...
it's got enough emotion to suffocate a marshmallow and less emotion than a pop song all at once

if i were to make an allegory out of it. your song would be crying, (not like macho single tear crying, like boy crying for mom crying), whereas another song would be lamenting (which i enjoy more)

12-11-2012, 09:38 PM

yea idunno, i think at this level it becomes indulgent

negative experiences with overly pathetic instrumentation (especially the kind with suspended tear drop piano)

it doesn't feel like real emotion over hard times, and i think i've told you this before...
it's got enough emotion to suffocate a marshmallow and less emotion than a pop song all at once

if i were to make an allegory out of it. your song would be crying, (not like macho single tear crying, like boy crying for mom crying), whereas another song would be lamenting (which i enjoy more)

**Phroxen** · #13 12-11-2012, 09:43 PM

Decent shit here.. the hook was hideous but the verses were straight. Just try not to sound too whiney if you're going for emotional lyrics. It has to sound real, and hearing a grown man, I'm assuming, talking about crying when he's under the covers doesn't sound right... especially how it was worded. Also, watch the placement of your multies & how far you stretch them... because when they're thrown in combos like the end of your second verse, with no real flow to them, the lyrics just get drowned out. You've got talent, you just need to polish a few things.

**Phroxen** · 12-11-2012, 09:43 PM

Decent shit here.. the hook was hideous but the verses were straight. Just try not to sound too whiney if you're going for emotional lyrics. It has to sound real, and hearing a grown man, I'm assuming, talking about crying when he's under the covers doesn't sound right... especially how it was worded. Also, watch the placement of your multies & how far you stretch them... because when they're thrown in combos like the end of your second verse, with no real flow to them, the lyrics just get drowned out. You've got talent, you just need to polish a few things.

#14 12-11-2012, 09:50 PM

listening again now to double check, and i cosign my statements

its not really about anything besides feeling bad for yourself

you know anyone in real life who is trying to hear that shit ever? your homies might be like "true, yea, sucks, sorry, yea, wack, shes lame, ......." but after about 5 minutes of pretending to listen theyre gunna tell you to shut the fuck up cause they're not trying to hear that shit... shit even your mom would probably tell you to man up if she heard that track more than once (mine would). So yea, make that track, but 2, 3, 4??? no way..

only person who's going to really enjoy this shit is you

indulging in your own pathetic fallacies.. rain patting your window and trapping you in a nice solum corner of self pity. secretly loving it

thats some shit i might do when i was like 13

---------- Post added at 06:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:50 PM ----------

also cosign phroxen

12-11-2012, 09:50 PM

listening again now to double check, and i cosign my statements

its not really about anything besides feeling bad for yourself

you know anyone in real life who is trying to hear that shit ever? your homies might be like "true, yea, sucks, sorry, yea, wack, shes lame, ......." but after about 5 minutes of pretending to listen theyre gunna tell you to shut the fuck up cause they're not trying to hear that shit... shit even your mom would probably tell you to man up if she heard that track more than once (mine would). So yea, make that track, but 2, 3, 4??? no way..

only person who's going to really enjoy this shit is you

indulging in your own pathetic fallacies.. rain patting your window and trapping you in a nice solum corner of self pity. secretly loving it

thats some shit i might do when i was like 13

---------- Post added at 06:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:50 PM ----------

also cosign phroxen

**J u s T C** · #15 12-11-2012, 10:02 PM

Havent listened yet but this thread is killing me lol. I'll take a listen and drop you some feed.

---------- Post added at 09:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:53 PM ----------

Not going to comment on the content but your delivery sounds hollow. your vocals dont hit because your delivery speeds up at odd points (rushed) and you have no cadence. your pauses sound long winded and awkward rather than confident and assured to make your message hit, some shaky doubles in there dont help either. I think the hook woulda been straight had it not been so hollow and had the right effects.

---------- Post added at 10:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:59 PM ----------

Work on your breath control. Also I think Proxen is saying the same about the multi's as I was about your awkward pacing suddenly jumping to this split second double time. It's to catch up and make your multi's fit. you need to edit those sections before you go to record.

**J u s T C** · 12-11-2012, 10:02 PM

Havent listened yet but this thread is killing me lol. I'll take a listen and drop you some feed.

---------- Post added at 09:59 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:53 PM ----------

Not going to comment on the content but your delivery sounds hollow. your vocals dont hit because your delivery speeds up at odd points (rushed) and you have no cadence. your pauses sound long winded and awkward rather than confident and assured to make your message hit, some shaky doubles in there dont help either. I think the hook woulda been straight had it not been so hollow and had the right effects.

---------- Post added at 10:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:59 PM ----------

Work on your breath control. Also I think Proxen is saying the same about the multi's as I was about your awkward pacing suddenly jumping to this split second double time. It's to catch up and make your multi's fit. you need to edit those sections before you go to record.