SoupErb FIRST TRACK OMG ABOUT TIME

[SoupErb]

Lol i wrote this in like 5-10 minutes man.

Chill out with the hatin n shit.

[SoupErb]

Lol i wrote this in like 5-10 minutes man.

Chill out with the hatin n shit.

Son, you ask for feedback and call it hate when someone keeps it really real wit you... smh. You think I like being a dick? You think I like having to tell someone the shit is trash? Believe me, I would have much rather listened to some cracky shit and not have to go through this with you.. trust that.

Son, you ask for feedback and call it hate when someone keeps it really real wit you... smh. You think I like being a dick? You think I like having to tell someone the shit is trash? Believe me, I would have much rather listened to some cracky shit and not have to go through this with you.. trust that.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Ticket

Son, you ask for feedback and call it hate when someone keeps it really real wit you... smh. You think I like being a dick? You think I like having to tell someone the shit is trash? Believe me, I would have much rather listened to some cracky shit and not have to go through this with you.. trust that.

Since you called me trash last time I've been motivated to do a track and start audio lmao...I'm working on a track I might pm you it for feedback if you want that if I do it.

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Ticket

Son, you ask for feedback and call it hate when someone keeps it really real wit you... smh. You think I like being a dick? You think I like having to tell someone the shit is trash? Believe me, I would have much rather listened to some cracky shit and not have to go through this with you.. trust that.

Since you called me trash last time I've been motivated to do a track and start audio lmao...I'm working on a track I might pm you it for feedback if you want that if I do it.

[SoupErb]

Instead of just sayin "This is shit" .. Tell me whats wrong n ill make it better.

[SoupErb]

Instead of just sayin "This is shit" .. Tell me whats wrong n ill make it better.

Ok, not sure if the flow you are going for is to have your "punchline" hit after the musical bar loops but it caught me off guard at first, then longer I listened it seemed like thats what you are going for.

My number one problem with this is the content, the lines are just not there... if you are only going to write for 5 minutes (taking 0 pride in what you are putting down) then ask people to spend just as much time listening / critiquing, then we have a problem.

Start there..

Ok, not sure if the flow you are going for is to have your "punchline" hit after the musical bar loops but it caught me off guard at first, then longer I listened it seemed like thats what you are going for.

My number one problem with this is the content, the lines are just not there... if you are only going to write for 5 minutes (taking 0 pride in what you are putting down) then ask people to spend just as much time listening / critiquing, then we have a problem.

Start there..

[Fredo Lombardi]

not great but not bad at all Soup

[Fredo Lombardi]

not great but not bad at all Soup

[SoupErb]

Ok cool, appreciate it Ticket. More coming soon anyway

---------- Post added at 07:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:06 PM ----------

@cory Kopano thanks fam

[SoupErb]

Ok cool, appreciate it Ticket. More coming soon anyway

---------- Post added at 07:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:06 PM ----------

@cory Kopano thanks fam

aite man, I ain't never tryin to hate, I'm deffy not the best, just letting you knwo what I heard/thought

---------- Post added at 12:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:07 PM ----------

Like pissin in the wind ends early for me, then you get into the next line, it fucked up the whole flow for me.

---------- Post added at 12:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 PM ----------

Like pissin in the wind ends early for me, then you get into the next line, it fucked up the whole flow for me.

aite man, I ain't never tryin to hate, I'm deffy not the best, just letting you knwo what I heard/thought

---------- Post added at 12:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:07 PM ----------

Like pissin in the wind ends early for me, then you get into the next line, it fucked up the whole flow for me.

---------- Post added at 12:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 PM ----------

Like pissin in the wind ends early for me, then you get into the next line, it fucked up the whole flow for me.

[IV]

Listened a couple times, here's some feedback;

I think it's a bit all over the place, there's not really a clear concept within the song just a bit of everything.

Your delivery didn't 100% suit your lyrics which could be unique, e.g. rapping angry/gun bars but with a hyper and happy tone doesn't work too great. I guess it could and could be your niche if you could make it work well but right now I don't think it's working out.

I liked the beat, had something immortal technique about it and I think if you had a clear concept and a tone that suited your lyrics then it would have been a lot better.

You really picked up more towards the end and it got a lot more interesting and the switch in flow was pretty dope.

Overall as a first track you're probably just experimenting anyway so I hope you don't get mad at the feedback, just genuine opinions. You're a dope lyricist when you want to be and I think that when you're more comfortable with it and got your own style down then you'll write something dope and be an all rounder. Good luck!

[IV]

Listened a couple times, here's some feedback;

I think it's a bit all over the place, there's not really a clear concept within the song just a bit of everything.

Your delivery didn't 100% suit your lyrics which could be unique, e.g. rapping angry/gun bars but with a hyper and happy tone doesn't work too great. I guess it could and could be your niche if you could make it work well but right now I don't think it's working out.

I liked the beat, had something immortal technique about it and I think if you had a clear concept and a tone that suited your lyrics then it would have been a lot better.

You really picked up more towards the end and it got a lot more interesting and the switch in flow was pretty dope.

Overall as a first track you're probably just experimenting anyway so I hope you don't get mad at the feedback, just genuine opinions. You're a dope lyricist when you want to be and I think that when you're more comfortable with it and got your own style down then you'll write something dope and be an all rounder. Good luck!

[SoupErb]

Originally Posted by Verity

Listened a couple times, here's some feedback;

I think it's a bit all over the place, there's not really a clear concept within the song just a bit of everything.

Your delivery didn't 100% suit your lyrics which could be unique, e.g. rapping angry/gun bars but with a hyper and happy tone doesn't work too great. I guess it could and could be your niche if you could make it work well but right now I don't think it's working out.

I liked the beat, had something immortal technique about it and I think if you had a clear concept and a tone that suited your lyrics then it would have been a lot better.

You really picked up more towards the end and it got a lot more interesting and the switch in flow was pretty dope.

Overall as a first track you're probably just experimenting anyway so I hope you don't get mad at the feedback, just genuine opinions. You're a dope lyricist when you want to be and I think that when you're more comfortable with it and got your own style down then you'll write something dope and be an all rounder. Good luck!

Appreciate it Verity.

And yeh I just downloaded Audacity lastnight, woke up this morning and literally wrote those lyrics in 10 minutes or so.

I admit my voice is shit for tracks, and my accent is probly hard to understand.. But fuck it im just doing me.

And if it's punchlines y'all want then you'll get em on the next track

[SoupErb]

Originally Posted by Verity

Listened a couple times, here's some feedback;

I think it's a bit all over the place, there's not really a clear concept within the song just a bit of everything.

Your delivery didn't 100% suit your lyrics which could be unique, e.g. rapping angry/gun bars but with a hyper and happy tone doesn't work too great. I guess it could and could be your niche if you could make it work well but right now I don't think it's working out.

I liked the beat, had something immortal technique about it and I think if you had a clear concept and a tone that suited your lyrics then it would have been a lot better.

You really picked up more towards the end and it got a lot more interesting and the switch in flow was pretty dope.

Overall as a first track you're probably just experimenting anyway so I hope you don't get mad at the feedback, just genuine opinions. You're a dope lyricist when you want to be and I think that when you're more comfortable with it and got your own style down then you'll write something dope and be an all rounder. Good luck!

Appreciate it Verity.

And yeh I just downloaded Audacity lastnight, woke up this morning and literally wrote those lyrics in 10 minutes or so.

I admit my voice is shit for tracks, and my accent is probly hard to understand.. But fuck it im just doing me.

And if it's punchlines y'all want then you'll get em on the next track