V's voting thread. - Lets Beef

#1 01-15-2011, 05:54 PM

At least 6 lines expos. Completely honest, and fair votes.
And I'll warn you now. I am harsh.

01-15-2011, 05:54 PM

At least 6 lines expos. Completely honest, and fair votes.
And I'll warn you now. I am harsh.

**merkDyou** · #2 01-15-2011, 05:55 PM

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...325&section=tb

**merkDyou** · 01-15-2011, 05:55 PM

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...325&section=tb

#3 01-15-2011, 06:16 PM

merkD: That opener really didn't hit to me, too simple. And, I've seen quite a few rape referenced concepts. The laid back concept seemed a little fresher, I think a lot more could have been done to that, instead of throwing it into a build, that it didn't have much relevance to. I think the shells/beach gunplay punch was pretty uncreative, and again, pretty basic. The new outlet punch was pretty nice, the build was nice, and relevant for the most part. A small problem I saw with the build of that punch is that the actually multie set didn't relate. So, that took away from the sting. The concept weren't bad, though. Again, the lack of creativity in your gunplay punches make them hit pretty weakly to me. And the closer didn't hit to me at all, really. Overall, it was a solid verse, hopefully I gave you some points that will help you elevate from here. GAWD: To start off, I want to say that I think your structure was really stretched, I think if you'd cut back on a lot of the unneccesary wording, and polish up your wording in general that your verses might read a little smoother. I liked the small nameflip at the opening of the verse. It was short, to the point, and hit pretty effectively. The wordplay in the second punch didn't work for me, really forced, and though the connection was sort of there for the concepts, I don't think the two really... Idk, meshed, I suppose. And I would maybe have liked to see more of a double meaning in the punch. The concept for your next punch was alright, I liked the spin on it, the wording was atrocious, and I think that really took away any of the sting of it. I'd also like to see something a bit more direct than gunplay. I liked the concept of the next punch, I wish it were more developed. The wordplay in the closer was just bad, it didn't work at all, not to mention not making any sense grammatically. Overall, I think I'm going to go with the more polished, smoother verse. I think one punch really stood out to me, also, and sort of stole some points. Not a bad spar.
Voted: merkDyou: 7 / GAWD: 6
Posted on: 2011-01-15 18:16:18 Challenge V Leonelli Private Message V Leonelli

^ That is a FUCKING EXPO

01-15-2011, 06:16 PM

merkD: That opener really didn't hit to me, too simple. And, I've seen quite a few rape referenced concepts. The laid back concept seemed a little fresher, I think a lot more could have been done to that, instead of throwing it into a build, that it didn't have much relevance to. I think the shells/beach gunplay punch was pretty uncreative, and again, pretty basic. The new outlet punch was pretty nice, the build was nice, and relevant for the most part. A small problem I saw with the build of that punch is that the actually multie set didn't relate. So, that took away from the sting. The concept weren't bad, though. Again, the lack of creativity in your gunplay punches make them hit pretty weakly to me. And the closer didn't hit to me at all, really. Overall, it was a solid verse, hopefully I gave you some points that will help you elevate from here. GAWD: To start off, I want to say that I think your structure was really stretched, I think if you'd cut back on a lot of the unneccesary wording, and polish up your wording in general that your verses might read a little smoother. I liked the small nameflip at the opening of the verse. It was short, to the point, and hit pretty effectively. The wordplay in the second punch didn't work for me, really forced, and though the connection was sort of there for the concepts, I don't think the two really... Idk, meshed, I suppose. And I would maybe have liked to see more of a double meaning in the punch. The concept for your next punch was alright, I liked the spin on it, the wording was atrocious, and I think that really took away any of the sting of it. I'd also like to see something a bit more direct than gunplay. I liked the concept of the next punch, I wish it were more developed. The wordplay in the closer was just bad, it didn't work at all, not to mention not making any sense grammatically. Overall, I think I'm going to go with the more polished, smoother verse. I think one punch really stood out to me, also, and sort of stole some points. Not a bad spar.
Voted: merkDyou: 7 / GAWD: 6
Posted on: 2011-01-15 18:16:18 Challenge V Leonelli Private Message V Leonelli

^ That is a FUCKING EXPO