Critique Verses

[LOQ]

Seen it before in the threads, and it was pretty succesful. Post verses you're writing for feedback.

[LOQ]

Seen it before in the threads, and it was pretty succesful. Post verses you're writing for feedback.

[EJT]

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=386233

[EJT]

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=386233

[AceCope]

Our 16...Actually want the person it was written for to give me an honest opinion. From what I know of you, were those punches hard enough to overcome the unorthodox method they were delivered. OR, should I have stuck to the CAPPIN' and multie,multie, set up, multie structure?

[AceCope]

Our 16...Actually want the person it was written for to give me an honest opinion. From what I know of you, were those punches hard enough to overcome the unorthodox method they were delivered. OR, should I have stuck to the CAPPIN' and multie,multie, set up, multie structure?

[AkRid_ArTz]

Originally Posted by EJT

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=386233

What he said^^^

[AkRid_ArTz]

Originally Posted by EJT

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=386233

What he said^^^

[LOQ]

Tag Tourny 2011: FINALS - EJT & -ReeFer- Vs. Mutilate & AkRiD ArTz
-Both of us Scare-Emcees.. Compared-to-WE, Y'AINT SHIT SPEAKING BASIC!/ if ya'll Dare-ComPETE IT's DANGER, respond never in a PEACE-FUL NATURE .. but I do CARRY ME a PEICE-FULL AIMIN that'll give any `Vic` a "PAIR-of-WINGs" w/out the EAGLES PLAYING.../
Perfect set up, multies on point. Good use of wordplay. Strong punch. Nothing forced. Little mini punches inside of it. (10)

HONESTLY, i should Chris BeNOIT YOUR TEAM & LEAVE YOU STRANGLED, or reLEASE MY ANGER - hit your TOP WITH THREE shots out this GLOCK ON ME.. it won't be your 'MOM YOU GREET' when it sends you OFF-to-"MEET YOUR MAKER".!.
Good follow up, it continued the multies in the previous bar. No filler. (1o)



The only PLAN i KNEW before I could SPEAK a LANGAUGE was SEEKING PAPER at any MEANS TO MAKE IT. If your wallets STASHIN LOOT? i'll SQUEEZE THE BANGER run your pockets & have your "CACHE REMOVED" w/ out DELETING DATA!! .
Plan I Knew and Stash In loot is kinda forced. And 'cache' isn;t pronouced cash, but It's more effective since it's in a text battle. Still kept up the multies. (8)

.. No personals, ya'll are awful-at-best just STOP W/ THE THREATS, PLEASE your not-gonna-stress or TOPPLE THE BEST TEAM especially since "We've been on top" .. way before Nikki MiNAJ HAD A HEAD PIECE!!
Good bar, a little comedy in it. Was less of a punch towards your opponent. (8)

... y'all shit-soft we pissed-off our BLADDERS ENLARGED, EJ n Reef some true vets,yup; cause we a few-steps-up like any LADDER THATS LARGE! so when we take 'bars' from 'AA' - he won't commit a "BATTERY CHARGE"!…
Technically, a few steps up, is three or for, and thats not large for a ladder. Good idea, couldve been worded around with some better multie's. Since it didn;t make perfect since. But the end punch saved it (8/9)

The steel-and-the-tech will peel back ya chest & thats the only time you SHOWIN' HEART,
so if any vet-deny we'll let it fly like THROWIN DARTS! y'all will get wrapped up like any Arabians-Head so i'll leave these 'canadians-dead' when i put an O in ART! (owen hart)…
(10) Dope Punch, build up, multies. etc.

We better than what he or she say cause 'reef-n-EJ' like the CUP SO-LO… & the only reason we facin these ca-NUCK HOMOs is cause that classick-fuck passed-n-ducked cuz e-RUPT NO-SHOWED!! (We likethecup. SOLO w/ yo ho & she LIKE THESE NUTSSSS)... Fuuuckk Classick
Nice personal (10)
All around I'd say a high 9

[LOQ]

Tag Tourny 2011: FINALS - EJT & -ReeFer- Vs. Mutilate & AkRiD ArTz
-Both of us Scare-Emcees.. Compared-to-WE, Y'AINT SHIT SPEAKING BASIC!/ if ya'll Dare-ComPETE IT's DANGER, respond never in a PEACE-FUL NATURE .. but I do CARRY ME a PEICE-FULL AIMIN that'll give any `Vic` a "PAIR-of-WINGs" w/out the EAGLES PLAYING.../
Perfect set up, multies on point. Good use of wordplay. Strong punch. Nothing forced. Little mini punches inside of it. (10)

HONESTLY, i should Chris BeNOIT YOUR TEAM & LEAVE YOU STRANGLED, or reLEASE MY ANGER - hit your TOP WITH THREE shots out this GLOCK ON ME.. it won't be your 'MOM YOU GREET' when it sends you OFF-to-"MEET YOUR MAKER".!.
Good follow up, it continued the multies in the previous bar. No filler. (1o)



The only PLAN i KNEW before I could SPEAK a LANGAUGE was SEEKING PAPER at any MEANS TO MAKE IT. If your wallets STASHIN LOOT? i'll SQUEEZE THE BANGER run your pockets & have your "CACHE REMOVED" w/ out DELETING DATA!! .
Plan I Knew and Stash In loot is kinda forced. And 'cache' isn;t pronouced cash, but It's more effective since it's in a text battle. Still kept up the multies. (8)

.. No personals, ya'll are awful-at-best just STOP W/ THE THREATS, PLEASE your not-gonna-stress or TOPPLE THE BEST TEAM especially since "We've been on top" .. way before Nikki MiNAJ HAD A HEAD PIECE!!
Good bar, a little comedy in it. Was less of a punch towards your opponent. (8)

... y'all shit-soft we pissed-off our BLADDERS ENLARGED, EJ n Reef some true vets,yup; cause we a few-steps-up like any LADDER THATS LARGE! so when we take 'bars' from 'AA' - he won't commit a "BATTERY CHARGE"!…
Technically, a few steps up, is three or for, and thats not large for a ladder. Good idea, couldve been worded around with some better multie's. Since it didn;t make perfect since. But the end punch saved it (8/9)

The steel-and-the-tech will peel back ya chest & thats the only time you SHOWIN' HEART,
so if any vet-deny we'll let it fly like THROWIN DARTS! y'all will get wrapped up like any Arabians-Head so i'll leave these 'canadians-dead' when i put an O in ART! (owen hart)…
(10) Dope Punch, build up, multies. etc.

We better than what he or she say cause 'reef-n-EJ' like the CUP SO-LO… & the only reason we facin these ca-NUCK HOMOs is cause that classick-fuck passed-n-ducked cuz e-RUPT NO-SHOWED!! (We likethecup. SOLO w/ yo ho & she LIKE THESE NUTSSSS)... Fuuuckk Classick
Nice personal (10)
All around I'd say a high 9

[LOQ]

Originally Posted by AceCope

Our 16...Actually want the person it was written for to give me an honest opinion. From what I know of you, were those punches hard enough to overcome the unorthodox method they were delivered. OR, should I have stuck to the CAPPIN' and multie,multie, set up, multie structure?

In a text, they weren't. It needed to be capitalized rhyme scheme after rhyme scheme, because it's harder to follow the punch. And there were a couple of things that didn;t attack me, which is what battles need to have consistently to be affective.

[LOQ]

Originally Posted by AceCope

Our 16...Actually want the person it was written for to give me an honest opinion. From what I know of you, were those punches hard enough to overcome the unorthodox method they were delivered. OR, should I have stuck to the CAPPIN' and multie,multie, set up, multie structure?

In a text, they weren't. It needed to be capitalized rhyme scheme after rhyme scheme, because it's harder to follow the punch. And there were a couple of things that didn;t attack me, which is what battles need to have consistently to be affective.

[Prose_]

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=386453

[Prose_]

http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=386453

[LOQ]

This more of a cypher, so if it's on a beat, u need to match up your syllabels. If it's for a battle, then you have to change it up like this:

Kush And Paper got me looking Stranger Than the Randomest Person (16)
The Flowing's More Potent Than This Canibus Burning(13)
flying at a jets speed with the baddest broads(11)
trying to bag'm all like i'm santa claus(10)
you see i have to ball... being Fresh is a lifestyle(13)
known to get quite wild sonning kids like ya my child(12)
so pipe down, you should just stop it(8)
if the stacks in my pocket, eye ball like sockets(12)
electrifying with it, bring these power lines(12)
that make my money so at the club i can shower Dimes(14)
its our Times FRESH is the movement(8)
so its time to show you lames exactly how we do it(14)

This dude aint' 'Jet Fly' so he's neva with the BADDEST BRAUDS(14), He couldn't even 'Bag Them Up' if he was SANTA CLAUS (14)

Try a substitute for baddest, that rhymes with santa, so your multis match up to. Battles don;t glorify yourself, you make the other person feel like shit.

[LOQ]

This more of a cypher, so if it's on a beat, u need to match up your syllabels. If it's for a battle, then you have to change it up like this:

Kush And Paper got me looking Stranger Than the Randomest Person (16)
The Flowing's More Potent Than This Canibus Burning(13)
flying at a jets speed with the baddest broads(11)
trying to bag'm all like i'm santa claus(10)
you see i have to ball... being Fresh is a lifestyle(13)
known to get quite wild sonning kids like ya my child(12)
so pipe down, you should just stop it(8)
if the stacks in my pocket, eye ball like sockets(12)
electrifying with it, bring these power lines(12)
that make my money so at the club i can shower Dimes(14)
its our Times FRESH is the movement(8)
so its time to show you lames exactly how we do it(14)

This dude aint' 'Jet Fly' so he's neva with the BADDEST BRAUDS(14), He couldn't even 'Bag Them Up' if he was SANTA CLAUS (14)

Try a substitute for baddest, that rhymes with santa, so your multis match up to. Battles don;t glorify yourself, you make the other person feel like shit.

[LOQ]

you Prayin for a win? you must be high gettin the FLYEST BLESSINS! (17)
amazin how his battles get slept on while MINES-IS RESTLEST(15)
cause this Green Bitch Get Killed lOn like IRISH DRESSES(kilt)!(12)
Could use less filler, and point out your (imagery/key words/no spell mistakes) also prayin for a win isn;t a punch, say something like you need to pray for a win. example:
Pray to win..and get 'high' off the FLYEST BLESSINS!(12)
Ya battles just get 'slept on', while MINES IS RESTLESS!(12)
For 'Green' this 'Bitch' Get 'Kilt On' like IRISH DRESSES(12)
...If you do that for all of the sentences, they flow smoother and hit harder, since you are hitting punch after punch. Not punch......long ass build up with no multies, then punch.
GET WHAT IM SAYN?????

[LOQ]

you Prayin for a win? you must be high gettin the FLYEST BLESSINS! (17)
amazin how his battles get slept on while MINES-IS RESTLEST(15)
cause this Green Bitch Get Killed lOn like IRISH DRESSES(kilt)!(12)
Could use less filler, and point out your (imagery/key words/no spell mistakes) also prayin for a win isn;t a punch, say something like you need to pray for a win. example:
Pray to win..and get 'high' off the FLYEST BLESSINS!(12)
Ya battles just get 'slept on', while MINES IS RESTLESS!(12)
For 'Green' this 'Bitch' Get 'Kilt On' like IRISH DRESSES(12)
...If you do that for all of the sentences, they flow smoother and hit harder, since you are hitting punch after punch. Not punch......long ass build up with no multies, then punch.
GET WHAT IM SAYN?????

[AceCope]

Appreciate it GzG...you know what it is, and why there weren't complete punches. We'll see what the prognosis is.
I know of some things, but AM always open to critics.

[AceCope]

Appreciate it GzG...you know what it is, and why there weren't complete punches. We'll see what the prognosis is.
I know of some things, but AM always open to critics.