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10-15-2010, 11:10 AM
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Join Date: May 2010
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Honest Feedback / No shit Talkin...
jus playin around wit sum concepts and wordplay... feedback advice and tips please... constructive criticism welcome...
i spit in 10's/intense while you keep steady 4's in/forcin, u never see me get 8/ate cuz dey cant stick da forks in! i keep the "9" by my side like "Tiger Woods", so if you feelin "Taylormade" umma take you to da park and hit u wit "shots from da iron" till i put you in a hole!
imma TAZ MANIAN DEVIL dats PAST ALIEN LEVELS just ASK ANY'LL TELL EM i BLAST SEMIS N WET EM!
__________________
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Put em in the fuckin bathroom!! -Sonny-
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Give them nothing but take from them EVERYTHING!!! -Leonidas-
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Quote:
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The past is a memory, a lesson HISTORY / you learn you move on, and pain? it aint SHIT TO ME / it makes me stronger in lifes Mortal Kombats Flawless VICTORY / if you aint HIP TO ME? / i been thru hell and back, mah feet and hands BLISTERING /
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10-15-2010, 11:10 AM
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#1
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Join Date: May 2010
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Honest Feedback / No shit Talkin...
jus playin around wit sum concepts and wordplay... feedback advice and tips please... constructive criticism welcome...
i spit in 10's/intense while you keep steady 4's in/forcin, u never see me get 8/ate cuz dey cant stick da forks in! i keep the "9" by my side like "Tiger Woods", so if you feelin "Taylormade" umma take you to da park and hit u wit "shots from da iron" till i put you in a hole!
imma TAZ MANIAN DEVIL dats PAST ALIEN LEVELS just ASK ANY'LL TELL EM i BLAST SEMIS N WET EM!
__________________
Quote:
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Put em in the fuckin bathroom!! -Sonny-
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Quote:
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Give them nothing but take from them EVERYTHING!!! -Leonidas-
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Quote:
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The past is a memory, a lesson HISTORY / you learn you move on, and pain? it aint SHIT TO ME / it makes me stronger in lifes Mortal Kombats Flawless VICTORY / if you aint HIP TO ME? / i been thru hell and back, mah feet and hands BLISTERING /
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10-15-2010, 11:11 AM
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Played, really played. Badly worded, 8/ate mad simple and played. 4's in, and in 10's mad forced, and doesn't work. You suck, simple as that.
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10-15-2010, 11:11 AM
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#2
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Played, really played. Badly worded, 8/ate mad simple and played. 4's in, and in 10's mad forced, and doesn't work. You suck, simple as that.
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10-15-2010, 11:14 AM
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,700
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19 Won / 21 Lost
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C Teezy
Played, really played. Badly worded, 8/ate mad simple and played. 4's in, and in 10's mad forced, and doesn't work. You suck, simple as that.
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And the dick suckin, dickriding faggot does never seem to fail...
psst! Teezy... Prawns/Soulrites thread? this is what he meant...
thanks for stopping by... faggot...
Anyways seriously feedback please... Thanks...
__________________
Quote:
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Put em in the fuckin bathroom!! -Sonny-
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Quote:
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Give them nothing but take from them EVERYTHING!!! -Leonidas-
|
Quote:
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The past is a memory, a lesson HISTORY / you learn you move on, and pain? it aint SHIT TO ME / it makes me stronger in lifes Mortal Kombats Flawless VICTORY / if you aint HIP TO ME? / i been thru hell and back, mah feet and hands BLISTERING /
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10-15-2010, 11:14 AM
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#3
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Ranked Text Record
19 Won / 21 Lost
Join Date: May 2010
Voted:
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Posts: 1,700
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C Teezy
Played, really played. Badly worded, 8/ate mad simple and played. 4's in, and in 10's mad forced, and doesn't work. You suck, simple as that.
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And the dick suckin, dickriding faggot does never seem to fail...
psst! Teezy... Prawns/Soulrites thread? this is what he meant...
thanks for stopping by... faggot...
Anyways seriously feedback please... Thanks...
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10-15-2010, 11:16 AM
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I gave you feedback, that was both honest, and fair. 
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10-15-2010, 11:16 AM
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#4
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I gave you feedback, that was both honest, and fair.
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10-15-2010, 11:26 AM
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Join Date: May 2010
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12 Won / 1 Lost
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Exactly ...
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10-15-2010, 11:26 AM
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#5
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Basic Member
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Exactly ...
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10-15-2010, 11:28 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,701
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758 Won / 529 Lost
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3 Won / 2 Lost
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C Teezy
Played, really played. Badly worded, 8/ate mad simple and played. 4's in, and in 10's mad forced, and doesn't work. You suck, simple as that.
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he telling the truth 
__________________
BARZ:
For all that shiit he "states man/statesmen" I give his COLON POWS( Colin Powell )/ get em 'bent' over this "ground work" like FOLDING TOWELS/ (TILE'S) / only time he "gripping shid" is HOLDING BOWELS / so it's no 'wait'.... I'll give em "tips over beef " w/o ROLLING COWS... slow it down... "No weight" I'll give em "tips over beef" w/o enROLLING CALS/(calories)
 "{U CANT STOP GREATNESS!!}" Dt- ColdSeason3 Dt-Fresh Thoughtz{Mixtape}
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10-15-2010, 11:28 AM
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#6
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70 Won / 47 Lost
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3 Won / 2 Lost
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C Teezy
Played, really played. Badly worded, 8/ate mad simple and played. 4's in, and in 10's mad forced, and doesn't work. You suck, simple as that.
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he telling the truth
__________________
BARZ:
For all that shiit he "states man/statesmen" I give his COLON POWS( Colin Powell )/ get em 'bent' over this "ground work" like FOLDING TOWELS/ (TILE'S) / only time he "gripping shid" is HOLDING BOWELS / so it's no 'wait'.... I'll give em "tips over beef " w/o ROLLING COWS... slow it down... "No weight" I'll give em "tips over beef" w/o enROLLING CALS/(calories)
"{U CANT STOP GREATNESS!!}" Dt- ColdSeason3 Dt-Fresh Thoughtz{Mixtape}
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10-15-2010, 02:07 PM
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I agree with pretty much all of Jason. The golf concept is played, the numbers are forced and in the last line there is no punchline, just non sensical rhyming.
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10-15-2010, 02:07 PM
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#7
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I agree with pretty much all of Jason. The golf concept is played, the numbers are forced and in the last line there is no punchline, just non sensical rhyming.
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10-15-2010, 03:43 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason
in 10's / intense is forced wordplay. even if it wasnt.. you cant spit "in tens".. so that portion of the line doesnt even make sense.
4's in sounds like force in
forcin sounds like for-CIN .. so again this wordplay is forced.... and to "keep steady fours in" doesnt really mean anything.. so again... this portion of the line doesnt make sense
the whole forks in concept is just really lame to be honest... cant stick their forks in you... c'mon dude lol.
the golf concept would be good if it wasnt extremely played.. but i see what you were tryin to do with the numbers .. so at least you had a good idea going
the last part is just forced multies with no punchline, i assume thats not the end of it? if so.. you need a punchline and you need to work on the multies
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appreciate it...
__________________
Quote:
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Put em in the fuckin bathroom!! -Sonny-
|
Quote:
|
Give them nothing but take from them EVERYTHING!!! -Leonidas-
|
Quote:
|
The past is a memory, a lesson HISTORY / you learn you move on, and pain? it aint SHIT TO ME / it makes me stronger in lifes Mortal Kombats Flawless VICTORY / if you aint HIP TO ME? / i been thru hell and back, mah feet and hands BLISTERING /
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10-15-2010, 03:43 PM
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#8
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Ranked Text Record
19 Won / 21 Lost
Join Date: May 2010
Voted:
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Posts: 1,700
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason
in 10's / intense is forced wordplay. even if it wasnt.. you cant spit "in tens".. so that portion of the line doesnt even make sense.
4's in sounds like force in
forcin sounds like for-CIN .. so again this wordplay is forced.... and to "keep steady fours in" doesnt really mean anything.. so again... this portion of the line doesnt make sense
the whole forks in concept is just really lame to be honest... cant stick their forks in you... c'mon dude lol.
the golf concept would be good if it wasnt extremely played.. but i see what you were tryin to do with the numbers .. so at least you had a good idea going
the last part is just forced multies with no punchline, i assume thats not the end of it? if so.. you need a punchline and you need to work on the multies
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appreciate it...
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10-15-2010, 05:57 PM
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Way to appretiate mine, and you wonder why everyone thinks you're a lazy spic.
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10-15-2010, 05:57 PM
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#9
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Way to appretiate mine, and you wonder why everyone thinks you're a lazy spic.
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10-15-2010, 06:14 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
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smh... i love how niggas try and project their life unto others... i have 2 kids mah niggas lazy is out of the question for me...
__________________
Quote:
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Put em in the fuckin bathroom!! -Sonny-
|
Quote:
|
Give them nothing but take from them EVERYTHING!!! -Leonidas-
|
Quote:
|
The past is a memory, a lesson HISTORY / you learn you move on, and pain? it aint SHIT TO ME / it makes me stronger in lifes Mortal Kombats Flawless VICTORY / if you aint HIP TO ME? / i been thru hell and back, mah feet and hands BLISTERING /
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10-15-2010, 06:14 PM
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#10
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Ranked Text Record
19 Won / 21 Lost
Join Date: May 2010
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smh... i love how niggas try and project their life unto others... i have 2 kids mah niggas lazy is out of the question for me...
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