Black-Book vs. Ill Phenom (Black-Book Wins Via 3-0 KO)

[Black Book]

TOPICAL BATTLE

•Lines: 20-40
•Voting: 1st to 4 votes, or 3-0 = KO win
•Check In Deadline: 9/17/11 - 11:59 American Eastern Time
•Verse Deadline: 9/20/12 - 11:59 American Time

[Black Book]

TOPICAL BATTLE

•Lines: 20-40
•Voting: 1st to 4 votes, or 3-0 = KO win
•Check In Deadline: 9/17/11 - 11:59 American Eastern Time
•Verse Deadline: 9/20/12 - 11:59 American Time

[Black Book]

Check mate.

[Black Book]

Check mate.

[Ill Phenom]

Thought it is first 2 five votes.. But Ight..
This is my check..

[Ill Phenom]

Thought it is first 2 five votes.. But Ight..
This is my check..

[Black Book]

A Rescue Mission

At the bottom of this mountain, you will find where I came from. I use to journey up here just because it was a sanctum, but when I started to realize it ain't one...
..It was too late & my fate was sealed. I reflect, "Only if the minor cuts had just healed, they wouldn't have formed a giant wound where so much blood's spilled."
I've become quite introspective & objective, but not before I fell in subjective thoughts, which have been regressive.
I left where life was good & beautiful, & came to where life is a funeral. The edge is right there; it'd only take one move to go.
But I know he's been on my trail. I glanced over my shoulder, & when my eyes fell, I saw him & almost cried, "Help!", but instead I fell...
..off the cliff where life's gone cold, but then I felt a strong pull. What do I find myself attached to? A long rope.
He's looking down; straining to keep a grip. I yell, "Let me go, let me fall into the deep abyss!" But he doesn't get sheep a bit. He just sits there tugging, getting his teeth to grit.
He slowly makes the rope inch upward. Flashes of happiness struck me, & I shuddered. Tears came to my eyes & I quietly uttered, "I was everything but heard..."
That's when the realization dawned. I could finally look at his face in fond ways & bond.
He pulled me up over the cliff in haste; he collapsed exhausted, but at that moment my heart then raced, & I took him into an embrace.
I whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you!" He looked at me with the look that said that he just knew. Then I said, "This is where we start a life of new!" He smartly replies, "That's a must do..." I just laugh & give him another hug too.
You see? The time on this mountain was the progression of my depression.
The edge of the cliff is where I almost went off the deep end when I felt like there was no more that I could weaken.
& he was my son, my own flesh who came to my rescue.

[Black Book]

A Rescue Mission

At the bottom of this mountain, you will find where I came from. I use to journey up here just because it was a sanctum, but when I started to realize it ain't one...
..It was too late & my fate was sealed. I reflect, "Only if the minor cuts had just healed, they wouldn't have formed a giant wound where so much blood's spilled."
I've become quite introspective & objective, but not before I fell in subjective thoughts, which have been regressive.
I left where life was good & beautiful, & came to where life is a funeral. The edge is right there; it'd only take one move to go.
But I know he's been on my trail. I glanced over my shoulder, & when my eyes fell, I saw him & almost cried, "Help!", but instead I fell...
..off the cliff where life's gone cold, but then I felt a strong pull. What do I find myself attached to? A long rope.
He's looking down; straining to keep a grip. I yell, "Let me go, let me fall into the deep abyss!" But he doesn't get sheep a bit. He just sits there tugging, getting his teeth to grit.
He slowly makes the rope inch upward. Flashes of happiness struck me, & I shuddered. Tears came to my eyes & I quietly uttered, "I was everything but heard..."
That's when the realization dawned. I could finally look at his face in fond ways & bond.
He pulled me up over the cliff in haste; he collapsed exhausted, but at that moment my heart then raced, & I took him into an embrace.
I whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you!" He looked at me with the look that said that he just knew. Then I said, "This is where we start a life of new!" He smartly replies, "That's a must do..." I just laugh & give him another hug too.
You see? The time on this mountain was the progression of my depression.
The edge of the cliff is where I almost went off the deep end when I felt like there was no more that I could weaken.
& he was my son, my own flesh who came to my rescue.

[Ill Phenom]

Giving Him Enough Rope

Been Searching for the Treasure, Two persons Combined
Me and My Partner, Working Together, for an Uncertain Time
But I'm getting nervous and starting to feel suspicious
that when we find our purpose he'll try and steal the riches
He's getting too fake, a Poser and he gets Impatient
Trying to go off on his own, as we get closer to the destination
As I come to this realization I Make, I Grab The Vodka
Pour a Shot to this Fake that Acts a Contra
He's a Snake, The Blackest Mamba
Trying to take the "Wealth and Fame", I See the Hazard
I've Never "Felt the Same" About this Greedy Bastard..
As we continue the path and Jolt through the Mounds
We Halt at what seems to be a Vault in the ground.
My Partner Grabbed the Map, And Used his Invincable Wisdom
"Yup!, We've Arrived, Our Search Is to the Bottom Of This Abysm.
Grab the Rope, Tie to the sturdiest ledge, I'm going down lonesome"
So I Grabbed the rope, Tied it in and Wedged, "Just Hold On".
He Slowly Descended from rock to rock, As I waited, I Dragged A Smoke
and Decided I was Gonna Read My partners Diary, So I Grabbed The Notes
"My Devious Plan Has Worked, At the Vault I'll Go Down The Belt
Grab the Riches, lie, And Have it all to Myself"
At that Sudden Moment, Screaming Of Horror Suffocated My Ears
The Rope Began, Streaming Longer, So I Rush To Take The Steer
Trying to Pull Em Up, Before The Rope Snapped From The Threading
Are you pulling me up?.. I Yelled Back, Are you Ready?
But The More I Tugged, The Faster the Rope Ruptured and Tore
And Within Second It Slipped Out My Hands and I Puncture the Floor
The Screams Faded Out As My Partner, Tumbled Down the Thundering Gorge
After the whole journey, of lying and deciet, should I Saddened And Miss Him
Or Just Realize He's Dead and it's just an end of one mission
After All, That Devious Disguise, has Just Clung And Fell
Into the Darker Depth he Flung To Hell
I guess the Moral Of This isn't Much To Tell
I Just gave My Enemy Enough Rope Until He Hung Himself

[Ill Phenom]

Giving Him Enough Rope

Been Searching for the Treasure, Two persons Combined
Me and My Partner, Working Together, for an Uncertain Time
But I'm getting nervous and starting to feel suspicious
that when we find our purpose he'll try and steal the riches
He's getting too fake, a Poser and he gets Impatient
Trying to go off on his own, as we get closer to the destination
As I come to this realization I Make, I Grab The Vodka
Pour a Shot to this Fake that Acts a Contra
He's a Snake, The Blackest Mamba
Trying to take the "Wealth and Fame", I See the Hazard
I've Never "Felt the Same" About this Greedy Bastard..
As we continue the path and Jolt through the Mounds
We Halt at what seems to be a Vault in the ground.
My Partner Grabbed the Map, And Used his Invincable Wisdom
"Yup!, We've Arrived, Our Search Is to the Bottom Of This Abysm.
Grab the Rope, Tie to the sturdiest ledge, I'm going down lonesome"
So I Grabbed the rope, Tied it in and Wedged, "Just Hold On".
He Slowly Descended from rock to rock, As I waited, I Dragged A Smoke
and Decided I was Gonna Read My partners Diary, So I Grabbed The Notes
"My Devious Plan Has Worked, At the Vault I'll Go Down The Belt
Grab the Riches, lie, And Have it all to Myself"
At that Sudden Moment, Screaming Of Horror Suffocated My Ears
The Rope Began, Streaming Longer, So I Rush To Take The Steer
Trying to Pull Em Up, Before The Rope Snapped From The Threading
Are you pulling me up?.. I Yelled Back, Are you Ready?
But The More I Tugged, The Faster the Rope Ruptured and Tore
And Within Second It Slipped Out My Hands and I Puncture the Floor
The Screams Faded Out As My Partner, Tumbled Down the Thundering Gorge
After the whole journey, of lying and deciet, should I Saddened And Miss Him
Or Just Realize He's Dead and it's just an end of one mission
After All, That Devious Disguise, has Just Clung And Fell
Into the Darker Depth he Flung To Hell
I guess the Moral Of This isn't Much To Tell
I Just gave My Enemy Enough Rope Until He Hung Himself

damn both of these were really good. it is a real hard decision. the only thing that gets my vote is the personal life connection i have with one of them. both were constructed very well. my votes going to Black on this one. good battle.

damn both of these were really good. it is a real hard decision. the only thing that gets my vote is the personal life connection i have with one of them. both were constructed very well. my votes going to Black on this one. good battle.

[ItsFame]

Both were nice pieces, Ill Phenom's was well structured and easy to read, Flowed very nicely. I like the concept and it was well written. But although It was a bit messy, I liked Black's concept a little more and the imagery was nice. My vote goes to Black Book.

[ItsFame]

Both were nice pieces, Ill Phenom's was well structured and easy to read, Flowed very nicely. I like the concept and it was well written. But although It was a bit messy, I liked Black's concept a little more and the imagery was nice. My vote goes to Black Book.

^If any of you have a problem with the unexplained votes, I can get FAME and Mikey to expand them.

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Ill Phenom. At times I felt Black was slightly too slant for me. Ill kept it pretty consistant, but once again, avoid using one multie for just 3 times.
Vocabulary - Black-Book. Close cat, but I'd slightly edge it this way.
Topic/Meaning - Black-Book. Really my old style here. The overall metaphor revealed at the end. As you elevate, you will learn how to reveal it a litle better and add some more indepth metaphors throughout. Ill was good but the concept just wasnet up to Book's level.
Storytelling/Progression - Ill Phenom. I felt his story had more events. It connected well from arrival, absailing, diary, falling, death etc. really smothly, while I felt that Book seemed to linger a little in the middle sections.
Emotion - Black-Book. The glee-filled ending got Black to the cat. I'm still feeling some trouble with Ill's. He's adding in what he needs to but it's just not connecting like it should. Hopfully that'll fall into place soon.
Imagery - Ill Phenom. The imagery on the rope and the fall and stuff was all well written on and Black never managed to catch him.
Poetic Techniques - Black-Book. The metaphors throughout got this to me.
Ending - Black-Book. Closest cat. Book had the twist reveal, which usually wins, but the powerful wording from Ill put up a big fight for it.

GMV// Black-Book. Damn this was close, and I'll admit that I probably enjoyed Ill's more. Book just got all the right things down. Ill elevated so quickly but now Book has slowly creeped up, and this was a great topical which could have went either way. PM me if FAME and Mikey's votes need elaborated on. Great contest.

^If any of you have a problem with the unexplained votes, I can get FAME and Mikey to expand them.

Rhyming Scheme/Flow - Ill Phenom. At times I felt Black was slightly too slant for me. Ill kept it pretty consistant, but once again, avoid using one multie for just 3 times.
Vocabulary - Black-Book. Close cat, but I'd slightly edge it this way.
Topic/Meaning - Black-Book. Really my old style here. The overall metaphor revealed at the end. As you elevate, you will learn how to reveal it a litle better and add some more indepth metaphors throughout. Ill was good but the concept just wasnet up to Book's level.
Storytelling/Progression - Ill Phenom. I felt his story had more events. It connected well from arrival, absailing, diary, falling, death etc. really smothly, while I felt that Book seemed to linger a little in the middle sections.
Emotion - Black-Book. The glee-filled ending got Black to the cat. I'm still feeling some trouble with Ill's. He's adding in what he needs to but it's just not connecting like it should. Hopfully that'll fall into place soon.
Imagery - Ill Phenom. The imagery on the rope and the fall and stuff was all well written on and Black never managed to catch him.
Poetic Techniques - Black-Book. The metaphors throughout got this to me.
Ending - Black-Book. Closest cat. Book had the twist reveal, which usually wins, but the powerful wording from Ill put up a big fight for it.

GMV// Black-Book. Damn this was close, and I'll admit that I probably enjoyed Ill's more. Book just got all the right things down. Ill elevated so quickly but now Book has slowly creeped up, and this was a great topical which could have went either way. PM me if FAME and Mikey's votes need elaborated on. Great contest.