Made Men: StoyMilk vs. LadyVenom

[~SHINIGAMI~]

StoyMilk vs. LadyVenom



Topic: Anniversary Of Hiroshima
(16-32 Lines)

First to 5 or 3-0 K.O.

Left Sends To Right By Aug. 14th 12 A.M
Right Must Reply By Aug. 15th 12 A.M

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

[~SHINIGAMI~]

StoyMilk vs. LadyVenom



Topic: Anniversary Of Hiroshima
(16-32 Lines)

First to 5 or 3-0 K.O.

Left Sends To Right By Aug. 14th 12 A.M
Right Must Reply By Aug. 15th 12 A.M

Voting Rubix
Rhyming Scheme/Flow
Vocabulary
Topic/Meaning
Storytelling/Progression
Emotion
Imagery
Poetic Techniques
Ending

[S A L T]

Shooting Stars
Li would Beat Pots and Pans; his Pockets Bland. You'd also See Him sitting on Concrete, Often plucking broken Guitar Strings on his Cardboard Mat with his Carnaged Cap welcoming any Dollar...Yen. Hoping Profits'd Send Them to the Shop for some Bread; Haru, his wife Sang Songs to his Hymns. They Longed that some Knowledgeable Nazi Men would Invent a Rocket that'd Send Them from this Bottomless Pit.
Haru and Li imposed a Musical Street until the Moon Loomed To the Scene. No Cash. With only Two Cents a Piece, their Two Cents was Intruding the Trash for Food, and some Drinks...
Then Flew a Streak of a Luminous Thing across the Blue Endless Sea, that Harbored Stars that don't Move Usually. Haru, closed her eyes wishing for Pursuit of Her Dreams. Hopefully, it wasn't just another Cruelty Machine built by that Ludicrous Regime thats been cooking Jewish Kids like they're Producing Cuisines.
"Ooo, Something Neat."
Haru looked Upon Li as he held up a Piece of what Seemed to Be a Pair of Newsprints or Sheets.
"It's two Tickets! .. To the U.S, next Week!"
And so it's Concluded. It was a Star...Shooting, Their Grief.
The War brought Opportunities that Harbored Jobs for Haru and Li. Together, they found an Ambient Peace among the Beautiful Grasses of Green in a Pleasant Cabin for Three; an extra Room, they were Planning to Breed. One lovely day. They enjoyed a Tranquil Stroll In a Park, when they overheard some Panting and Screams..
"Oh my Godddd! Pearl Harbor's been Blast'd to Smithereens!"
"It was the Damn Japanese!"
It was like "Magic" After that, as the After-Math "Prestiged" to an Eery Focus upon Haru and Li; like Hocus Pocus, they wished the Flee the Locus of the Somber Scrutinies. Whispers Triggered their Feet to Speeds that brought them Home with Folded Clothes and Bags Packed till they Overflowed like Occluded Creeks. An so They Gassed the Road in search of a Home they could Enue in Peace, rather than Canoe their Two-Suiter's Accumulate Things.
But It wasn't long before their Instinctive Fears were Realized. As they Arrived in Jerome, Arkansas Haru and Li were Seized and Kept Aside with more Japanese lacking in Feed and living in Cabins in Deep Need of Pesticides. They suffered Depressing Days and Dreadful Nights. The Sun was Raised but never Shed it's Light. Disease and Madness was Infecting the Place with no Injection to End It's Rise. Haru and Li, with no Music Scheme, Set Aside, Quenching their Thirst with Tears and Resting, Trying...to Leave to Home; Overseas to where they could Newly Pursue a Dream, Instead of awaiting an Inevitable Demise in this Setting for their Kind. The Japanese Streets, however Yenless, became, to an Empty Mind, a Paradise.
A Pair of Dice. Like their Luck was Lifted. They Rolled a Winnin'. The Camp was Closed and so they Headed Home Before they were Placed in another Hellish Hole. The Sail was Long; Haru witnessed another Glare that Flowed throw the Ozone. Another star, she Assumed. And so she Smiled, awaiting her Arrival back to the Streets, Sleeping under the Moon. Yet after Boarding Commenced, through the Fence that seemed Torn, They Gazed Upon a Hell Far Worse than they'd Known, Enclosed in Jerome.

Just So You Know
Jerome was an internment camp that was the only one that closed before the bombing of Hiroshima.

---------- Post added at 12:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:29 AM ----------

@~SHINIGAMI~ sent.

[S A L T]

Shooting Stars
Li would Beat Pots and Pans; his Pockets Bland. You'd also See Him sitting on Concrete, Often plucking broken Guitar Strings on his Cardboard Mat with his Carnaged Cap welcoming any Dollar...Yen. Hoping Profits'd Send Them to the Shop for some Bread; Haru, his wife Sang Songs to his Hymns. They Longed that some Knowledgeable Nazi Men would Invent a Rocket that'd Send Them from this Bottomless Pit.
Haru and Li imposed a Musical Street until the Moon Loomed To the Scene. No Cash. With only Two Cents a Piece, their Two Cents was Intruding the Trash for Food, and some Drinks...
Then Flew a Streak of a Luminous Thing across the Blue Endless Sea, that Harbored Stars that don't Move Usually. Haru, closed her eyes wishing for Pursuit of Her Dreams. Hopefully, it wasn't just another Cruelty Machine built by that Ludicrous Regime thats been cooking Jewish Kids like they're Producing Cuisines.
"Ooo, Something Neat."
Haru looked Upon Li as he held up a Piece of what Seemed to Be a Pair of Newsprints or Sheets.
"It's two Tickets! .. To the U.S, next Week!"
And so it's Concluded. It was a Star...Shooting, Their Grief.
The War brought Opportunities that Harbored Jobs for Haru and Li. Together, they found an Ambient Peace among the Beautiful Grasses of Green in a Pleasant Cabin for Three; an extra Room, they were Planning to Breed. One lovely day. They enjoyed a Tranquil Stroll In a Park, when they overheard some Panting and Screams..
"Oh my Godddd! Pearl Harbor's been Blast'd to Smithereens!"
"It was the Damn Japanese!"
It was like "Magic" After that, as the After-Math "Prestiged" to an Eery Focus upon Haru and Li; like Hocus Pocus, they wished the Flee the Locus of the Somber Scrutinies. Whispers Triggered their Feet to Speeds that brought them Home with Folded Clothes and Bags Packed till they Overflowed like Occluded Creeks. An so They Gassed the Road in search of a Home they could Enue in Peace, rather than Canoe their Two-Suiter's Accumulate Things.
But It wasn't long before their Instinctive Fears were Realized. As they Arrived in Jerome, Arkansas Haru and Li were Seized and Kept Aside with more Japanese lacking in Feed and living in Cabins in Deep Need of Pesticides. They suffered Depressing Days and Dreadful Nights. The Sun was Raised but never Shed it's Light. Disease and Madness was Infecting the Place with no Injection to End It's Rise. Haru and Li, with no Music Scheme, Set Aside, Quenching their Thirst with Tears and Resting, Trying...to Leave to Home; Overseas to where they could Newly Pursue a Dream, Instead of awaiting an Inevitable Demise in this Setting for their Kind. The Japanese Streets, however Yenless, became, to an Empty Mind, a Paradise.
A Pair of Dice. Like their Luck was Lifted. They Rolled a Winnin'. The Camp was Closed and so they Headed Home Before they were Placed in another Hellish Hole. The Sail was Long; Haru witnessed another Glare that Flowed throw the Ozone. Another star, she Assumed. And so she Smiled, awaiting her Arrival back to the Streets, Sleeping under the Moon. Yet after Boarding Commenced, through the Fence that seemed Torn, They Gazed Upon a Hell Far Worse than they'd Known, Enclosed in Jerome.

Just So You Know
Jerome was an internment camp that was the only one that closed before the bombing of Hiroshima.

---------- Post added at 12:35 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:29 AM ----------

@~SHINIGAMI~ sent.

[Venomoussss]

Young Fool, Wise Woman

She Lived Life Optomistic, She Was Innocent And Surreen,
Her Soft Footsteps Mimicked Dreams, Imagination- So Peacefull It Seemed,
No Thoughts Of Destruction, Just Desire And Ambition,
A Heavenly Paradise A Synomyn To Her Intuition,
She'd Never Witnessed Dark Visions, She Was Blessed With Equanimity,
Even Though She Was So Young, She Visualised War As Stupidity.....
A Selcouth Being, She Could Of Been Any Warm Hearted Youth,
But Now A Disfigured Old Lady, Her Nightmares Are The Truth,
Her Reflection A Sorrowfull Reminder Of Destruction And Persuit,
Flashbacks Terrorise, Won't Abdicate From Her Mind When She Closes Her Eyes,
As She Reminises To The Times, All The Emotions Rewind....

It's 1945, July 26th To Be Precise- ''Here's A Potsdamn Decleration, Sign It Or Die,''
Harry Truman Warned Japan', With Destruction Controlling His Eyes,
A Content Hell Fire Ready To Ignite Every Sparkle In Sight!
But Japan Didn't Surrender Nor Cowar-They Swallowed There Pride,
Wilst The Manhatton Project Created The Devils Crulest Device,
Still, Japan Point Blank Refused To Imply-
Even After Pearl Harbour Proved That Soldiers WILL Inevitably Die,
Only The Toughest Survive, The Only Real Answer Was Submission,
But Still The Japs' Gripped Ammunition, They Were Naieve Not To Listen,
But As America Made Desicions, It Was The Civilians Who Were Blind,
Walkin Soft Steps, Still Living Everyday Life, War At The Back Of There Minds',
Wilst The Wicked Josef Stalin Tortured And Terrorised,
He Was Like The Devils Child, More Evil Than Hitler And His Nazi's Combined,
So America Needed Full Force Affirmitive Action, Too Make The Diabolic Subside,
But They Soon Realised The Japs Were Not That Kind,
They Would Fight Till The End, Tears Blood, Die Or Survive....
So The President Was Constanly Motivated, Even His Shadow Watchin Time,
Concentratin And Debating Till The 6th August When The Sun Would Rise,
Back Then The Old Lady Was An Innocent Child, She Was Turning 9,
But Her Innocence Would Be Destructed, Like Actions From A Peodophile,
Coz As She Was Sittin At Her Desk, Doing Calculous In School,
When She Heard 'Straight Flush', Flying High Through The Clouds,
N Even Though Is Was Loud, She Was Used To The Noise,
Training Exercises Always Gave The Aircrafts A Voice,
But In The Blink Of An Eye, There Was Destruction And Carnage,
Her Vision Turned Psychedelic, Her Own Desk Was Tarnished,
The Debree In Her Eyes, Caused Her Vision To Distort,
She Wiped Her Teary Eyes, And What She Visualised Was Raw,
Eyes Popping Out Of Heads, Intestines Escaping There Homes',
Confused People Screaming And Pleading, Hearts Turned To Stone'
This Was More Than Horror, It Was Agonising Massacre,
The Screams And Screeches- Almost Like They Were Attacking Her,
She Looked Down At Her Hands, Unforced Tears Fell As She Lift,
The Black Rained Sprinkled, Till It Was The Taste Of Her Lips,
And This Was One Day That She'd Never Forget...Never Dismiss...
The 67th Anniversary Reminds Her Of That Troubled Day Jap Was Hit,
And Although It Was Pain, She's Learned Lessons From Stress,
COZ WAR DOESN'T SHOW WHO IS RIGHT, IT SHOWS WHO IS LEFT,

[Venomoussss]

Young Fool, Wise Woman

She Lived Life Optomistic, She Was Innocent And Surreen,
Her Soft Footsteps Mimicked Dreams, Imagination- So Peacefull It Seemed,
No Thoughts Of Destruction, Just Desire And Ambition,
A Heavenly Paradise A Synomyn To Her Intuition,
She'd Never Witnessed Dark Visions, She Was Blessed With Equanimity,
Even Though She Was So Young, She Visualised War As Stupidity.....
A Selcouth Being, She Could Of Been Any Warm Hearted Youth,
But Now A Disfigured Old Lady, Her Nightmares Are The Truth,
Her Reflection A Sorrowfull Reminder Of Destruction And Persuit,
Flashbacks Terrorise, Won't Abdicate From Her Mind When She Closes Her Eyes,
As She Reminises To The Times, All The Emotions Rewind....

It's 1945, July 26th To Be Precise- ''Here's A Potsdamn Decleration, Sign It Or Die,''
Harry Truman Warned Japan', With Destruction Controlling His Eyes,
A Content Hell Fire Ready To Ignite Every Sparkle In Sight!
But Japan Didn't Surrender Nor Cowar-They Swallowed There Pride,
Wilst The Manhatton Project Created The Devils Crulest Device,
Still, Japan Point Blank Refused To Imply-
Even After Pearl Harbour Proved That Soldiers WILL Inevitably Die,
Only The Toughest Survive, The Only Real Answer Was Submission,
But Still The Japs' Gripped Ammunition, They Were Naieve Not To Listen,
But As America Made Desicions, It Was The Civilians Who Were Blind,
Walkin Soft Steps, Still Living Everyday Life, War At The Back Of There Minds',
Wilst The Wicked Josef Stalin Tortured And Terrorised,
He Was Like The Devils Child, More Evil Than Hitler And His Nazi's Combined,
So America Needed Full Force Affirmitive Action, Too Make The Diabolic Subside,
But They Soon Realised The Japs Were Not That Kind,
They Would Fight Till The End, Tears Blood, Die Or Survive....
So The President Was Constanly Motivated, Even His Shadow Watchin Time,
Concentratin And Debating Till The 6th August When The Sun Would Rise,
Back Then The Old Lady Was An Innocent Child, She Was Turning 9,
But Her Innocence Would Be Destructed, Like Actions From A Peodophile,
Coz As She Was Sittin At Her Desk, Doing Calculous In School,
When She Heard 'Straight Flush', Flying High Through The Clouds,
N Even Though Is Was Loud, She Was Used To The Noise,
Training Exercises Always Gave The Aircrafts A Voice,
But In The Blink Of An Eye, There Was Destruction And Carnage,
Her Vision Turned Psychedelic, Her Own Desk Was Tarnished,
The Debree In Her Eyes, Caused Her Vision To Distort,
She Wiped Her Teary Eyes, And What She Visualised Was Raw,
Eyes Popping Out Of Heads, Intestines Escaping There Homes',
Confused People Screaming And Pleading, Hearts Turned To Stone'
This Was More Than Horror, It Was Agonising Massacre,
The Screams And Screeches- Almost Like They Were Attacking Her,
She Looked Down At Her Hands, Unforced Tears Fell As She Lift,
The Black Rained Sprinkled, Till It Was The Taste Of Her Lips,
And This Was One Day That She'd Never Forget...Never Dismiss...
The 67th Anniversary Reminds Her Of That Troubled Day Jap Was Hit,
And Although It Was Pain, She's Learned Lessons From Stress,
COZ WAR DOESN'T SHOW WHO IS RIGHT, IT SHOWS WHO IS LEFT,

[S A L T]

@ladyvenom yo, that last line is dopppeeee!

[S A L T]

@ladyvenom yo, that last line is dopppeeee!

[GOOD GRIEF]

great match. i feel that Stoy won this due to more creative multis and a more solid story. his verse was relevant to the history while at the same time keeping up with the characters while Lady's verse felt like a Social Studies book at one point. still great job to both. loved the ending of Lady's as Stoy mentioned too. my vote goes to STOY MILK

[GOOD GRIEF]

great match. i feel that Stoy won this due to more creative multis and a more solid story. his verse was relevant to the history while at the same time keeping up with the characters while Lady's verse felt like a Social Studies book at one point. still great job to both. loved the ending of Lady's as Stoy mentioned too. my vote goes to STOY MILK