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Text Cypher
  Length: 16 Lines each

"No More Tears"




DiZzReSpEkT

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Cypher started: April 9th 2020 at 09:05



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True story about my uncle being arrested and our hours being raided in the Philippines. He was a peaceful protestor that spoke the truth and got punished.

Most of this is symbolic, so if you don't get the imagery you can just message me.



Posted on: 2020-04-09 09:08:39 Private Message DiZzReSpEkT


toward the opening lines you sttarted off in the past tense but somehow the wording was more continuous tense heavy which kinda seemed off but you reall picked it from the few lines that led up to the reality bit good metaphor and wordplay that one. vertebrae shit was horrorvore to the core and they way u went up to the check below ur roots from there was impressive! shook and with lined scars was the only off worded bit after that which was pretty much on point. however u story telling capabilities were not at their birghtest best here as to what ur general profiiviency is prolly coz u rushed some aspects which happend when the topic is so personal sometimes. shit takes a while to get articulated the right way but still a worthy cypher by all standards!


Rated: 7

Posted on: 2020-04-09 13:31:52 Private Message The Saaxxx Baba


Good concept, well written verse I'm unfortunately not good at criticism ..so good job man


Rated: 9

Posted on: 2020-04-10 12:10:54 Private Message SF Ghost

 

 

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