Coldstorms Dad
This is my only confession/Sitting in a rented room, lonely, depressing/Family dont call me even tho they know that im stressing/I still sleep with the phone in the bed/Waiting for it to ring but im not holding my breath in/ Why would they,I know im a bad son/They got 2 children, yeah thanks for that mum/Im the only child without an ambiton or hoping to have one/Thats why I spent time at the nans, her palatial mansion/ And even till this date im her favourite grandson/Raised me alone since I was three, in her arms/Would throw tantrums but she was keeping it calm/Brought me all types of food she was feeding me on/And sometimes I really wish that she was my mom/I remember we would be singing the songs/But listen out, I aint letting no fake shit cloud this verse/It was a Monday, you could see the clouds and birds/With my mum going off on me, she would shout and curse/Grandma was there, listening to our loudest words/I couldnt take it anymore and took my anger out on her!/I know, I was silly and sensitive/I could be a better grandson,Im really regretting it/I could of stopped it, thinking its negative/I really did love you grandma, I just had a problem expressing it/You'd help me with my family relationships/Never missed a single birthday, even baked me cakes and chips/I really wish you were here to see me make it big/But lets get back to the story/I was 14, playing in the yard with Adam and Rory/ Grandma was feeling a lump on her breast, "why you sitting tensed" I asked her/Said nothing and took me to the hospital with her to know the answer/In the room with the doc, I was outside battling on Letsbeef with the dopest rappers/She came out, I was looking at grandma/With tears rolling down her cheeks she told me she was diagnosed with cancer/My world crashed in, it ruined my night/Staring at her blankly, i wasnt doing it right/With her tears reflecting my face i viewed in her eyes/This was it, I would realise/If she wasn't treated, I could loser her for life!/My favourite person, I couldn't stand the pain/She was my only one, even my mom and dad today!/I was an atheist, didnt understand the ways/But that was the first time that I prayed!/Put an end to all this agony/I really mean it and im not just praying casually/I would sit all alone in balcony/Scared as fuck, losing my hope and sanity/I couldn't bare to lose her, she was my only family!/Fast forward 2 months, she was undergoing chemo/While I was back home in my room spitting free flows/Yeah letsbeef knows/I could visit her but I didnt go, it was my ego/I did care about her, I was lost and scared/But I would distract myself and drop the fear/The docs in here said she could pass anytime, the whole lot prepared/She was brought back home, she had lost her hair/I couldn't recognize her/Docs said she only has 3 months, you could feel my pressure rise, bruh/I told her to relax but she said exercise works/Fast forward a week, let me tell you next/She was in the restroom where she slipped hit the floor and bled to death/Its a destined guess..she was on the heaven's steps/ I was sitting blank at my moms house as the tides would turn/I fucking regret I couldnt spend enough time with her/As im sitting here with tears rolling down my eyes, writing words/I just wanna say I love you grandma and I miss ya!! 1/