Cecil
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Arthur Morgan is on FIRE! 20+ wins in a row!Arthur Morgan
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  Text Concept Tournament #5
 
 
BATTLE FEED
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SteelBars vs nickleshanandannickleshanandan is on FIRE! 5+ wins in a row!
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  Length: 16 Lines Blind Drop


Racketeer (25%)
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nickleshanandan is on FIRE! 5+ wins in a row!nickleshanandan (75%) WINNER
Ranked 5 of 142,583 This Month (#1988 All Time)
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Crew: Head Hunters
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Racketeer
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nickleshanandan
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Battle started: April 23rd at 16:15
Challenger joined: April 24th at 09:17


Voting has ended for this battle (battle finished on 2019-04-24 09:17:23).

Comment:
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Arthur Morgan
<TheHitmen>
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Close battle. I feel nickle was slightly better in terms of his setups to his punchlines and that gave him the edge here, although he had instances of poor wordplay and forced rhyming that didn't really add much to the verse in terms of fluidity (your wording and your multis both have to sound like speech you would use in a regular conversation, otherwise it's going to sound unnatural and forced on delivery). Rack had a lot of the same issues nickle did, but lost this battle because the setups to the punchline were not connecting well at all, imo. The setup needs to be able to give the reader enough of an idea of what's coming with the punchline, but not blatant enough to give the whole punch away. You have the issue of your setups not relating to your punch well enough simply due to the relevance between the two lacking. 

I see potential for both of you to improve, and I'd like to see that going from this battle forward. If either of you want any advice, PM me.

Posted on: 2019-04-24 10:52:24 Private Message Arthur Morgan



 

 
 

Expos -

pupils as in students and the pupil of the eye as well

only retarded (lame,blind etc.) kids could survive the pied pipers tunes coz they were not quick enough to follow him.

yellow sea is a sea on the coast of north korea

incase of any other queries just ask ma.

PUNISH SHIT 

Comment Only
Posted on: 2019-04-24 09:20:54 Private Message nickleshanandan


Enjoyed Nicklesh's verse more. Excellent fucking wordplay, man, and the punches were great. Loved the Pied Piper line as well. The only thing I feel you could work on is multis. Some of what you tried to pull off just didn't quite work, but could have much better.

Gb, fv, no h8. Really close

Voted: Racketeer: 8 / nickleshanandan: 9
Posted on: 2019-04-24 09:31:52 Private Message Ice Bear


Thanks HMH and Rieper, i agree with the multis and wordplay stuff, felt it when i wrote it itself lol but continued anyway to keep the flow going and have a warm up before the crew battle coming up.

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Posted on: 2019-04-24 10:58:43 Private Message nickleshanandan


ya good spar nivk, ya i shouldve connected more n been more consitent

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Posted on: 2019-04-24 15:21:42 Private Message Racketeer


pleasure's all mine bro! 

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Posted on: 2019-04-24 15:22:57 Private Message nickleshanandan


PUNISH SHIT!

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Posted on: 2019-04-24 17:34:35 Private Message Cecil


BURDENS
<PUNISHERS>
Fair Voters Club

PUNISH shit

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Posted on: 2019-04-24 19:03:53 Private Message BURDENS


rackateer you did alot better this battle with format.punches were well delivered. vocab could use improvement and just nickel came harder and longer multies . with punchlines deep as the yellow sea and pretty as geishas lol. gb no h8 btw nick wordplay was nice

Voted: Racketeer: 4 / nickleshanandan: 6
Posted on: 2019-04-25 04:33:16 Private Message CasperTheOne


these lines sweet and dope READ BROWN SUGAR/this CLOWN'S SNOOKERED, a lost case amidst RENOWNED JURORS......wtf this had me actually stand up like waaaaw bro that was a touch of magic and i love snooker lol neva flipped it tho lol.  ones verse was ok a bit agressive and decent but Nickle kinda blew it out the water here i enjoyed every bar and the closer bar was solid degenarate minors :) too funny gb and no h8 gl troopz

Voted: Racketeer: 6 / nickleshanandan: 8
Posted on: 2019-04-27 08:04:39 Private Message Mizz Ammo

 

 
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