Contra ur jabs alone was enough to glide this one through but that line "like i'ma 'win in this game' like a ROYAL FLUSH TA 8s IN TONES!" finished him! Aggs, you got some punches but i feel it didn't connect. The "man of steel" would be better used for super man, . Anyway. Fairs in No 8. clear winner by a mile Voted: Golden Armz / JAGNEW
Posted on: 2013-04-21 19:56:10

Fv Voted: Golden Armz / JAGNEW
Posted on: 2013-04-21 21:04:06

Ok let's get to it ..... Contra .... Ok I've read ya verse and im only really seeing one stand out punch the poker line was ight the flow was cool through out the verse and ya shit was cool but it got a bit choppy towards the end and you had a lot of filler and no major punches as I said only one punch for me was the poker line .... Aggs ... Hmmmm ok better structure here punches still weren't heat rocks first bar was cool I liked dat ish your multies where on the flow was cool but you got a lot of filler between ya multies and ya punches could of been so much better .... For both of you you should look up metaphors and similes your verses would benefit from using these set ups for your punches in the future both have potential i felt one just edged it with more jabs no real killer punches in this for me ... Again very close battle Voted: Golden Armz / JAGNEW
Posted on: 2013-04-22 07:41:06

My choice was smoother here and also had slightly stronger punches.. Here are some tips for both.. Multies - Be sure to always provide multies that are at least 3-6 syllables cuz multies help with the flow and punch and if you dont know what a multie is then its the words that rhymes with each other when your going from line to line.. And always make sure the syllable count is exact and dont force your multies which means make sure there relevant... Take this for example again.... 'Class is in session for ya hoe', so as my belt BUCKLES SMOTHERED im RAMMING LIPS I gave her 'sex ed' and she passed the 'educational facial' with "no TROUBLE UNDER STANDING DICK".... The words that are capitalized are my multies... So the words that are capped in my 1st line rhyme with the words that are capped in my 2nd which makes them multies... Always cap your multies and also always fill in your box like i do... Set-ups - These are very important because they make the punch stronger... I showed you an example of what a set-up is when i was explaning the importance of punchlines... Always make sure your set-up has relevance to your multie/punch or else it will be seen as just filler... Your set-up leaves the reader wanting more and be sure to make your set-ups stand out by putting something around them such as ' ' or " " or ` ` will work just fine so that the reader knows exactly what your talking about... Do not decorate your verse either with different types of symbols like ~ or // or anything of that matter... Punchlines - Punches should always be executed strongly and in order to do so you want some strong set-ups with good concepts... Heres a bar of mine i used in the past...'Class is in session for ya hoe', so as my belt BUCKLES SMOTHERED im RAMMING LIPS I gave her 'sex ed' and she passed the 'educational facial' with "no TROUBLE UNDER STANDING DICK"... Everything inside of the ' ' has to do with class and oral favors lol so those are set-ups for my punch which is inside the " " and the use of understanding was used as wordplay cuz under standing dick means under an erect dick and understanding dick means she understands it... You wanna provide punch after punch after punch and humiliate your opponent.... Great concepts - Talking about someones mom is old unless there is creativity involved with it but the concept is very juvenile so try speaking on things that are going on in the news or with celebrities or evening talk about a volcano but make sure you convert it into a punchline and attack the hell out of your opponent.. theres so much to rap about and saying someones mom is fat or a hoe is very basic... Voted: Golden Armz / JAGNEW
Posted on: 2013-04-22 19:02:31

Fv Voted: Golden Armz / JAGNEW
Posted on: 2013-04-23 20:45:46

i thought contra banned had some harder hits, more fluent as well yo aggs i sent u that 8 long time ago, hahah Voted: Golden Armz / JAGNEW
Posted on: 2013-04-24 11:37:11

fv Voted: Golden Armz / JAGNEW
Posted on: 2013-04-24 17:05:39