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Unread 03-16-2015, 10:06 PM
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I liked both of these a lot. Ins had a better flow and definitely wrote a more recordable piece if you were to read both of these out loud. I read his start to finish and was able to follow it easily where IP kinda switched up syllable counts a bit and it threw off the pattern Id had started to follow. Ins was solid all the way though...created a narrative and really painted a picture of a person in need of help. once I figured out that IP was going to take the body he came upon back to being the first person narrator, I was hoping he'd close it out well and he did. Solid. Tough vote....but I think a strong finish beat a steady performance. +1 Ill Phenom.
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Unread 03-16-2015, 10:06 PM   #6
 
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Esso Esso is on FIRE! 30+ wins in a row!Esso is on FIRE! 30+ wins in a row!Esso is on FIRE! 30+ wins in a row!
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I liked both of these a lot. Ins had a better flow and definitely wrote a more recordable piece if you were to read both of these out loud. I read his start to finish and was able to follow it easily where IP kinda switched up syllable counts a bit and it threw off the pattern Id had started to follow. Ins was solid all the way though...created a narrative and really painted a picture of a person in need of help. once I figured out that IP was going to take the body he came upon back to being the first person narrator, I was hoping he'd close it out well and he did. Solid. Tough vote....but I think a strong finish beat a steady performance. +1 Ill Phenom.
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