Imma be straight with ya RiGGA.. your bars are basic (to put it politely) even if it was in Audio and had a dope delivery, they'd still be.. eh?... Conceptually wise, your NOT that bad (i've seen way worse, trust me) but you have a lot to improve in every category.. I'll give a very small/quick breakdown...
Look at Just C's opening line:
Rigga ya gettin froggy but never left ya pad
^A played-ish concept, but still a nice metaphor/punchline as the froggy reference goes with the pad.. Lilly Pad's/Frogs be on Lilly pads.. So he's making sense
Look at Your opening line:
Now shit, this is a battle I can 'come to respect', but dont think I'm rattled cuz you 'thump wit ya neck'
The first half ok-ish if it was actually leading into something better/relevant.. but you followed nothing but a multi as your 'punchline'.. dont think im rattled cuz you 'thump wit ya neck'<< One, your concept & execution of it was poor.. I would (if i was going for the 'rattle' ish) would of related to either a baby or a snake, as then the 'rattle' would become relevant..
Your whole verse seem's more like a bad Audio freestyle... your focusing to much on making words rhyme rather than actually saying anything..
Every build up line has to be relevant to the punch.. No good saying things like yO i put 'gun to fool' when im 'done with you' Open a Present..
Better off with something like...
if we were to 'Fight in Person' this vegetable wouldn't 'Turn Up/Turnip im Certain' cos he JUST A CABBAGE!!
^In this line, the Vegetable build up reference goes well as it relate's to the punchline CABBAGE.. as well as the wordplay too...
You've quite a long bit to go, but i've no problem giving ya some pointers via IM..
Hope this help's ya.. Peace
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