I'll return feed to anything in response

[Baron Mynd]

Not bad. Real easy to follow. When I first read that it was with a 'religious' outlook I thought the worst, because unless you say something different or take a fresh spin on it, topics like that have been done to death.

I was glad you went against that, took the more personal route.

I felt the last six lines ended stronger than the first six, anchored the verse well, the cross/intersection concept was dope - I'd have probably tried to flesh that idea out more, took up 3-4 lines with it possibly and developed it into more than a stand alone line.

The closing line was cool too, nice was to round it out.

Keep that pen moving!

[Baron Mynd]

Not bad. Real easy to follow. When I first read that it was with a 'religious' outlook I thought the worst, because unless you say something different or take a fresh spin on it, topics like that have been done to death.

I was glad you went against that, took the more personal route.

I felt the last six lines ended stronger than the first six, anchored the verse well, the cross/intersection concept was dope - I'd have probably tried to flesh that idea out more, took up 3-4 lines with it possibly and developed it into more than a stand alone line.

The closing line was cool too, nice was to round it out.

Keep that pen moving!