Gonna be real, if I knew you in real life this is the advice I would be giving you. Anyone who complements this are being sarcastic, I feel that the best thing you have is your writing, and even then it's below average, on a basic level of rhyme(especially on the hook), tutorials on writing bars would come in useful, then look at additional tutorials such as multi-syllables etc, give us some metaphors and bring some personals in so we can relate to you when you rap, we learn nothing about you. The presence is not there, if making music is your passion i'm not hearing any conviction in your voice to prove it. When reading the lyrics you made some mistakes, you have to prefect a song to the point where you know it off by heart. If you are gonna sing you need to learn a lot about ranges and singing techniques in general. I would suggest you step down of your pedestal and revamp your style, look at different artists and how they come across, don't mimic them just look at how they are successful in what they do, you need charisma, likability in the character you portray in your raps too as in this you are trying to motivate us. When you have your rap on lock, and you are comfortable with your ability, production is key, rappers who can't produce are too reliant on producers to give them beats which would then make the rapper make a song around it, doing it that way isn't great as there is much more talent and potential that will go into an original song, if you play any instruments that will be a good starting point, play of that..make some basic beats and get better with practice just like your rapping. I don't want to discourage you from doing what you love as I know this is your first and you will get better, but if you really want to step up your game you need some serious practice.
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