Dude,
First of all, if this is a cry for help, you are not gonna get the attention you want by acting like a female.
Second, you have kept driving forward for so long, why quit now? People have offered advice, you haven't attempted to apply it at all. If you really want to get better, listen to the pointers people give you, and take them seriously.
Third, if you really just wanna quit, than quit. The only roadblock in your way is you holmes.
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