Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizman
Without Swaying, Could You Voice Your Opinion About My Ending Punch In Comparison With Any Punch My Opponent Made? Not Even Only My Ending Punch, Any Comment To My Credit Card Scheme And Or Cat Scheme In Comparison To My Opponent?
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Sure, I'll humor you.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lizman
I've Got BOAT LOADS ON DECK, COLD SOLES IN CRACKS That Leave Him A Freight From THOSE HOLES ON BACKS, Boot, Legging, Cause When I GO HOLDING BACK I'll POP CAP That'll Get TOP WRAPPED Like SNOW GLOBES AND HATS!!
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You're trying to make references to freight moving.. (
Boat Loads, A Freight, Bootlegging). But, the setups are horrible. They're actually nonexistent. You've got
boat loads on deck? Of what??
Cold soles in cracks.. you've got cold feet??
That leave him a freight.. literal translation: you'll either turn him into or give him freight.. (note:
a freight does not sound like
afraid.
Those holes on backs is broken english and sounds retarded.
Boot, Legging besides the homophonic tie to "bootlegging" adds nothing to the bar. Then you said
when I go holding back.. more broken english because again, that doesn't make sense. You can either
hold back or
not hold back.. there is no such thing as
go holding back. Then you say
I'll pop cat that'll get top wrapped.. pop cat? Another floating fragment. Get top wrapped? Again.. not only a weird fragment, but wtf is getting top wrapped? Also, snow globes have nothing to do with your entire bar besides fitting into a rhyme scheme, which is called forcing multis.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lizman
Its Like BOLD CODES ON CHECKS When I Stomp This Type Out And Charge Him With Whats Left, Right When The FOFOS BEEN FLEXED, The Fee Line Aint Paid So When I Feed Ion With Strays, I Rid Pussy Tip To Dump It All Over Like OLD HOMES WITH CATS!!
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When I stomp this type out and charge him with what's left.. is a horribly forced setup. You can tell you had a credit card / check concept brewing, but your setup is just a big explanation of what you're attempting to portray, in an awkwardly worded jumble.
Fee Line / Feline could have been dope if it had any setup at all. It was just thrown in the dust to attempt to connect your next idea with cats but it didn't work. Also,
Feed Ion isn't wordplay.
Ion does not sound like
Iron, as you're assuming it does. Not only that, but the double meaning, if you force it to make sense, is still in broken english.
Feed Iron with Strays. Say that aloud and lose your G-card instantly.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lizman
COLTS GROPED FOR TESTS, No, For My Aims He'll Get SCOPED CLOSE WITH TECHS, The Points To Exhibit If He Was LONE SO CHOSE DEATH, NOT PRONE TO SEX Cause Only Time Anyone Offered His D Tails Was When They're PROPOSING SPECS!!!
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Aim/Scope... blah.
Lone so chose death / Not prone to sex.. the first multi emphasizes the wrong syllable, has the wrong "O" sound in two different places.. and the next multi is missing the first rhyming syllable.
Not does not rhyme with
colts, close, etc.. The last punch (
D Tails / details) was decent but was a bit awkwardly worded, and too simple to hold any weight.
TLDR; Less broken english, More creative ideas.
Oh, & @Unyque LMMFAOOOOOOOOOOO. That clip is fucking brilliant.