[Phroxen]

@Path

Originally Posted by Path

n it dont matter if ur QUICK AH’ NOT, cuz when I PICK THA SHOT, We’ll c em 'go down faster' than an Italian LIQUOR SPOT (Italian lick her spot)

Originally Posted by Path

so in actual fact, the punch makes complete sense

Here we go again.. *sigh* kids doubting the teacher.

Let's break this down... look at the bold red text above. You have three different pronouns (your, him, her) two of which don't match: (him & her). You start by talking to your opponent by saying ur or your.. then you continue to talk to your opponent by saying em or him.. then when it comes time to flip your concept, you use the pronoun her, switching your target from male to female? Your wordplay was forced as fuck. Just because "liquor spot" and "lick her spot" are homophonic phrases as is doesn't mean they will make sense if you throw them into a bar without careful planning. That's mistake number one. Number two: Even if the him & her are different entities, who is the her? She hasn't been mentioned a single time throughout the entire bar. Is this some imaginative her? It still doesn't make sense. Number three: Relevance and setup. Let's pretend you didn't switch pronouns.. and the identity of who you were dissing was understood.. even then, how is the reader supposed to tie in the phrases "Italian Liquor Spot" with a football game that ended in a drunken brawl? You've said nothing in the bar that would lead the reader to assume that's what you were referencing. Nothing.

And on your Italians being great lovers thing.. if that's the subconscious reference you're trying to use to tie in licking spots with Italians, you need to use a better concepts, bro. Because when you read the bar, it just sounds very random. Very weird and random.

[Phroxen]

@Path

Originally Posted by Path

n it dont matter if ur QUICK AH’ NOT, cuz when I PICK THA SHOT, We’ll c em 'go down faster' than an Italian LIQUOR SPOT (Italian lick her spot)

Originally Posted by Path

so in actual fact, the punch makes complete sense

Here we go again.. *sigh* kids doubting the teacher.

Let's break this down... look at the bold red text above. You have three different pronouns (your, him, her) two of which don't match: (him & her). You start by talking to your opponent by saying ur or your.. then you continue to talk to your opponent by saying em or him.. then when it comes time to flip your concept, you use the pronoun her, switching your target from male to female? Your wordplay was forced as fuck. Just because "liquor spot" and "lick her spot" are homophonic phrases as is doesn't mean they will make sense if you throw them into a bar without careful planning. That's mistake number one. Number two: Even if the him & her are different entities, who is the her? She hasn't been mentioned a single time throughout the entire bar. Is this some imaginative her? It still doesn't make sense. Number three: Relevance and setup. Let's pretend you didn't switch pronouns.. and the identity of who you were dissing was understood.. even then, how is the reader supposed to tie in the phrases "Italian Liquor Spot" with a football game that ended in a drunken brawl? You've said nothing in the bar that would lead the reader to assume that's what you were referencing. Nothing.

And on your Italians being great lovers thing.. if that's the subconscious reference you're trying to use to tie in licking spots with Italians, you need to use a better concepts, bro. Because when you read the bar, it just sounds very random. Very weird and random.