Erupt & Unque voted on:
http://www.letsbeef.com/battle_detai...n=tb&id=442891
Unque
Things i disagreed with:
LIZ- your first bar was actually decent
Dont lie fam lol Ive read it twice and the whole verse was horrible. People cannot and will not improve if you gas them.
Keep it simple lizzy
Simple isnt the right word. Improve the wording? Yes. Simple? No. Good verses are creative, not simple.
Overall I liked both reads In think one was a little better w/concepts making his punches more damaging
You heavily critqued both verses but liked the read? Again this is a little hypocritical.
Voted: FyaWurdz: 6 / _Lizman_: 7
Not in a million years. Altho you had the right winner.
Things i agreed with
Fya- To start with DONT talk about yourself in a battle, focus on dissing your opponent every bar
Yep, unless its relevant to the punchline then its wasted bars.
When you did attempt a punch i felt it was not very creative due to weak concepts and poor structure. Mix that in with broken multies and you really have a lot of areas to improve on.
Agreed with this completely. The structure was a big part.
After the opener you went back to the same ol liz with confusing schemes multies that didnt work and attempted to do wayyyy to much with your bars.
This touches on what i said about wording, but gets to the same sort of point.
Erupt
Things i disagreed with:
Ait so heres the deal.. Its actually okay to talk about yourself in battles but pref. Longer battles.. Adds that swag factor..
I agree with the advice, but its like teaching a baby how to moonwalk. aka its a bit early for them to try that lol.
Liz.. You understand complexity.. Should prolly try other/more generic punches.
I dont think anyone should try generic punches, and i dont think he understands complexity. He understands conceptual themes, but not how to use them properly at all.
Things i agreed with:
"Fya your multis need work.. You have a good structure.. Stay away from multis like WEAK OR TOO".. They were capped for no reason n messes up the flow.. Work on addin more punches. Try not to drag out the same concepts in 8 liners n maxamize the space wit punches.."
Agreed with all of this, helpful advice.
U have a problem with multis aswell.. Also your lines take awhile to get to the punch somtimes..
Both accurate critques imo.
Fya.. On the plus side u understand punches.. Just need more creativity..
Altho vague it is advice that will help.
Voted: FyaWurdz: 3 / _Lizman_: 5
Altho still a bit high imo, i think you picked the right winner. I'd of scored it at 3-3.
Overall
Erupt has always been a good voter imo, altho he tends to word his critques a little confusingly sometimes. Unque impressed me somewhat here. He still has the bad habits most voters have nowadays (overratings, wording critques issues).
I think both deserve praise altho if this is a competition Erupt gets my vote.
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