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Dave I think your instructors definition of control is mis-worded. It's true that it's easier to accidentally knock someone out than it is to make them look like an idiot with solid technique. However, if you're training for a tournament there's gotta be a certain adabtibility involved in your training. Nobody should know that more than whoever's training you. Close to competition, it's too hard to 'un-learn' certain things, but it is possible to make it work to your advantage.
The kata issue with having a reaction hand pulled to your side is relative to your choice of martial art. I guess remembering to do things like that 'keeps it real' to that martial art. You should cross train though. I know I was mad bored at the end of my training. I haven't been active in a couple years though.
We should have an LB Kumite!! LOL