Quote:
Originally Posted by Itz Killz
started off straight man...IMPLORING SLUGS QUICK sounds awkward to me..and yes i know what 'imploring' means lol...the length between the last two multi sets need to have either another multi....or an inner rhyme scheme. its a little stretched out there. the wordplay doesnt jive with me homie...it has to work very smoothly in both phrases for it to be worth using. it comes off forced..for instance...you wouldnrt say "hanging over wait in line for a sticking"...tbh i wouldnt say hanging overweight in line for a sticking either'...i see where you were going with the punch..but the execution was off... be careful about using wordplay....not too many people do it well, and there arent too too many fresh ones that i see anymore...its almost not worth the risk unless its guaranteed fresh
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Thanks For The Feedback Homeslice
You Think It's Cool To Keep Doing The Rhyme Rhyme RHYME Scheme I'm Doing Though?
it just
proves that your of
no use, another BORING DUMB BITCH... ...haha for those foolish
bars and stretch
scars I'll keep... Those?