[Phroxen]

Allow me to speak for @Just C .

Originally Posted by UNKNOWN ARTIST

It's the best way to word it keeping it making the most sense in both ways ... It's the first few words of the set up ... Not the main punch .... Getting a little fed up with people putting my lines under the microspcope when they should spend more time focusing on their own.

In your own words, you just said that the wording in your setup wasn't good. Other people in this thread who actually know what they're talking about are agreeing with this. That's all that's being said.

I see what @Verity was talking about in that other thread. It's sad how people hold back from criticizing people because they think they're gonna catch feelings or some shit. lol @ microscope.

Look, here's a microscope..

Originally Posted by YOU WISH

For "Son to be in front of me" he had to really "plan it, or bit"(planet orbit) cuz I'm unSHAKEABLE HERE so if you "think he's a star" then MAYBE IT'S CLEAR I'm "rapping rings around son" every DAY OF THE YEAR

Most people probably missed the point that you used a weak opener (son to be in front of me). You had to call him "son" which is lame, especially when your entire bar focuses on that. Plus, most son/sun wordplay is preschool shit. It's like holmes/homes.. "Unshakeable here" is a filler multi that doesn't tie into your theme or do anything else besides slightly boast. "Think he's a star / (w)rapping rings around son".. again, same "son" shit I mentioned before. Plus the double meanings are weak here.. you'll rap circles around him... because people think he's a star.. and the sun is a star.. so you'll call him son and make it all work out? Pfft. PLUS, going back to your first part "son to be in front of me / planet orbit".. in front of me is a stretch that most will overlook. Each planet spins on an axis, therefore "sun" won't be in front of them all the time. You could've said "for son to be behind me" and it'd make the same amount of sense.


Moral of the story: You won with a weak bar. Congrats.

[Phroxen]

Allow me to speak for @Just C .

Originally Posted by UNKNOWN ARTIST

It's the best way to word it keeping it making the most sense in both ways ... It's the first few words of the set up ... Not the main punch .... Getting a little fed up with people putting my lines under the microspcope when they should spend more time focusing on their own.

In your own words, you just said that the wording in your setup wasn't good. Other people in this thread who actually know what they're talking about are agreeing with this. That's all that's being said.

I see what @Verity was talking about in that other thread. It's sad how people hold back from criticizing people because they think they're gonna catch feelings or some shit. lol @ microscope.

Look, here's a microscope..

Originally Posted by YOU WISH

For "Son to be in front of me" he had to really "plan it, or bit"(planet orbit) cuz I'm unSHAKEABLE HERE so if you "think he's a star" then MAYBE IT'S CLEAR I'm "rapping rings around son" every DAY OF THE YEAR

Most people probably missed the point that you used a weak opener (son to be in front of me). You had to call him "son" which is lame, especially when your entire bar focuses on that. Plus, most son/sun wordplay is preschool shit. It's like holmes/homes.. "Unshakeable here" is a filler multi that doesn't tie into your theme or do anything else besides slightly boast. "Think he's a star / (w)rapping rings around son".. again, same "son" shit I mentioned before. Plus the double meanings are weak here.. you'll rap circles around him... because people think he's a star.. and the sun is a star.. so you'll call him son and make it all work out? Pfft. PLUS, going back to your first part "son to be in front of me / planet orbit".. in front of me is a stretch that most will overlook. Each planet spins on an axis, therefore "sun" won't be in front of them all the time. You could've said "for son to be behind me" and it'd make the same amount of sense.


Moral of the story: You won with a weak bar. Congrats.