I do not write fiction. I have done a little writing for articles and shit.
It's already been touched that there are gramatical errors and whatnot.
I have a different problem. It's not that original.
I couldn't get past the opening, TBH.
Too generic.
"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, right? And this hasn't killed me yet, that I know of that is. I mean, one would know if they were dead, wouldn't they?"
...yaaawwwnnn......
you have to word it more originally. More excitingly. Too undirected.
Just start by having a more intresting antecdote at the start. It's too generic and bored me off the bat.
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Yes Yes Ya'll, an it don't stop....
Seems like me an' you bout had enough,
Cause man, it's tough to keep the fam in touch,
And to add it up, this rappin stuff got me flippin out like a blackjack bust
Don't give a fuck if you sound like Master P, Mobb Deep or Remy Martin,
Cuz even if the next to try us is the best of rhymers?
Still get bodied on plates like Jeffery Dahmer
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