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Unread 10-10-2010, 05:27 PM
Jack-0-Lantern
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I felt some of the wording towards the ending, and late middle of the verse really destroyed the mood you set earlier in the piece. Which I personally found to be something big. It made me really lose interest in the story as a whole. Maybe some less light hearted wording towards the late middle, or something.
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Unread 10-10-2010, 05:27 PM   #4
 
Jack-0-Lantern
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I felt some of the wording towards the ending, and late middle of the verse really destroyed the mood you set earlier in the piece. Which I personally found to be something big. It made me really lose interest in the story as a whole. Maybe some less light hearted wording towards the late middle, or something.
 
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