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#14 10-10-2010, 05:27 PM

I felt some of the wording towards the ending, and late middle of the verse really destroyed the mood you set earlier in the piece. Which I personally found to be something big. It made me really lose interest in the story as a whole. Maybe some less light hearted wording towards the late middle, or something.

10-10-2010, 05:27 PM

I felt some of the wording towards the ending, and late middle of the verse really destroyed the mood you set earlier in the piece. Which I personally found to be something big. It made me really lose interest in the story as a whole. Maybe some less light hearted wording towards the late middle, or something.

10-10-2010, 05:27 PM	#14
Jack-0-Lantern Guest Voted: 0 audio / 0 text Posts: n/a Mentioned: Post(s) Tagged: Thread(s)	I felt some of the wording towards the ending, and late middle of the verse really destroyed the mood you set earlier in the piece. Which I personally found to be something big. It made me really lose interest in the story as a whole. Maybe some less light hearted wording towards the late middle, or something.