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  #8  
Unread 01-10-2019, 05:24 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 28,185
Mentioned: 3431 Post(s)
Tagged: 69 Thread(s)
Estimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
32 Won / 5 Lost
Exclusive Audio Record
3 Won / 1 Lost

Estimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.37/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
187 Won / 34 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
11 Won / 5 Lost
Default

Had to tell you a few times that your WORDING'S QUITE ATROCIOUS, them scripts wouldn't be magical w/ MERLIN'S TYPE OF FOCUS!

Multi set was smooth, the actual line is a bit weird tho. You say your opponents wording is bad, then drop that odd worded second multi set. Merlins type of focus? Passable i guess but if you aiming for top tier this wording needs to be straight.

/ Guided dude, he told me 'quit the horseplay' then I saw the WORST DESIGNS APPROACHING cos I said 'into the belly of the beast' & he couldn't WORK IT LIKE A TROJAN!

Similar to the previous bar the wording is a bit unnatural. the non-capped build is very longer and wordy to me too, feels like you stretched the build to include the horse-play reference. Could of been cleaner and shorter. The concept it good, but the execution wasnt strong. I think the punch could of been better. Work it like a trojan. Many more creative / impactful ways to land the punch.
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Unread 01-10-2019, 05:24 PM   #8
 
RULE RULE is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!RULE is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!RULE is on FIRE! 15+ wins in a row!
Estimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Audio: 8.32/10 stars
Ranked Audio Record
32 Won / 5 Lost
Exclusive Audio Record
3 Won / 1 Lost

Estimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.32/10 starsEstimated Skill in Text: 8.37/10 stars
Ranked Text Record
187 Won / 34 Lost
Exclusive Text Record
11 Won / 5 Lost
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Voted: 241 audio / 1980 text
Posts: 28,185
Mentioned: 3431 Post(s)
Tagged: 69 Thread(s)


Default

Had to tell you a few times that your WORDING'S QUITE ATROCIOUS, them scripts wouldn't be magical w/ MERLIN'S TYPE OF FOCUS!

Multi set was smooth, the actual line is a bit weird tho. You say your opponents wording is bad, then drop that odd worded second multi set. Merlins type of focus? Passable i guess but if you aiming for top tier this wording needs to be straight.

/ Guided dude, he told me 'quit the horseplay' then I saw the WORST DESIGNS APPROACHING cos I said 'into the belly of the beast' & he couldn't WORK IT LIKE A TROJAN!

Similar to the previous bar the wording is a bit unnatural. the non-capped build is very longer and wordy to me too, feels like you stretched the build to include the horse-play reference. Could of been cleaner and shorter. The concept it good, but the execution wasnt strong. I think the punch could of been better. Work it like a trojan. Many more creative / impactful ways to land the punch.
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