Dono, the flow barely changed much the whole way, but at least you could fit it to a beat. Lockhart, the second line from bar one is 18 syllables, which throws off the rest of the verse off , as in your next line you continue to use the maximum number of syllables on a standard 4/4 instrumental subdivided into 16ths. Anyways, I'm not going to vote. Both had great content.
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